


IchigoMayo

by Eniell



Category: Gintama
Genre: Angst, Boyfriends, Boys In Love, Comedy, Coming Out, Domestic, Established Relationship, Fluff, GinHijiGin, HijiGinHiji, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Reunions, SO MUCH FLUFF, Smut, alternative ending, basically just a lot of love, drug case, medicine for your broken heart, more love, teenage arc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-04-26 00:52:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 121,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14390706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eniell/pseuds/Eniell
Summary: Two samurai part with two promises. One to the other, one to themselves. When they finally meet again, they intend to keep them.This FF circles around how two idiots get together, how they come out to their friends and how they handle their new life as an openly gay couple in Edo times. Expect a lot of smut, fluff, humor, sadism and love.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is a continuation of my “Love Potion” fanfiction, but you don't have to read it to start IchigoMayo. This fanfiction takes place after the Shinsengumi Farewell arc (manga: 525-551; anime: 308-316). For your own good: don't read it till you know what happened. Don't spoiler yourself. Be kind to yourself.
> 
> Enjoy!

## Prologue

It was raining. How fitting.

The sound of the raindrops crushing against his umbrella was annoyingly loud. It drowned all of the noises surrounding him. In this kind of weather, the streets were deserted. People were taking shelter, staying indoors or enjoying a snack in a restaurant. Nobody was willing to spend more time in this shitty weather than necessary. And yet, there he sat, on a wet flight of stairs, an umbrella sheltering him poorly from the downpour. He sat there waiting. For him.

Hijikata felt a pain in his chest, but he managed to sooth it with a drag of his cigarette. Slowly, he approached him and every step was uncomfortable. Still, he kept on, knowing he should treasure the time he had left with him.

As the Shinsengumi officer approached him, the silver-haired samurai looked back over his shoulder and gave him a look. His senses were sharp as always. His eyes looked like dead fish, just as they had been the first time they had met. He had a blank expression on his face as well, not revealing anything. It hurt. But Hijikata endured it and stopped behind him, saying nothing.

For a moment, both men remained silent. Then, with a seemingly annoyed grunt, Gintoki stood up. “Took you long enough to get here…”

Actually, it was quite the opposite. It was pure coincidence they met, though both men knew they had been searching for each other. The reason they had found the other was maybe best explained by instinct. Or maybe luck. In any case, they had wanted to see each other. Because they both knew they needed to.

Hijikata Toushiro didn’t look him into the eyes, he couldn’t. His voice was throaty and he turned around. “Let’s go.”

“Yeah…” He replied softly as well. Without wasting any more time, Gin turned around and started walking. He was leading the way and the officer didn’t mind. In some way, it really was strange how few words they needed. They knew exactly what the other needed, knew what they were supposed to do and how it would go. They had this deep understanding, he just couldn’t explain.  It was almost uncanny.

The rain continued pouring as the two men marched through the streets. They didn’t say a single word, didn’t need to. Hijikata trusted Gintoki with his life, after all. How did it come to this? He didn’t remember ever being so close to him. And yet, at this moment it felt like this man was under his skin, closer than anyone. Knew him better than he knew himself. It was an eerie feeling. The cop inhaled the bitter scent of his cigarette and hoped it would calm his heart. It did not. He was so fucking anxious. He didn’t want to do this.

In his head, he had been going over it at least a thousand times. It was stupid and childish, he knew. He had to go, had to leave Edo. They would come back once things had cooled down. It was just temporarily. But still, he didn’t want to leave. He wanted them to stay the way they had always been. He didn’t want to let go of that. It meant saying goodbye to him. And to the Shinsengumi they once were. After this day, nothing would be the same anymore.

Hijikata tried shutting these thoughts and feelings down as much as possible. It was hard, but not impossible. And yet, nothing had ever been as hard as this.

All of the sudden, the samurai beside him took a turn and walked towards a house. The man with the blue eyes looked befuddled for a moment. When he recognized the shop, however, he felt a small tingling in his chest. It was their favorite diner.

Hijikata had to hold his breath for a moment, his head whirling. Of course. Sometimes he couldn’t believe just how sensible and sensitive this man was. Under his stupid face hid a very cautious and perceptive mind. It also showed how well he knew him and how well he was aware of the things that connected them. This was the place most dear to them both after all. Not just because of the old man preparing their specials. They had met each other so many times here, bickering, bonding and insulting the other’s food.

The nostalgia was hard to swallow, but the cop tried anyway. When Gintoki shot him another look, he started moving eventually, following him inside.

The place was almost deserted. The counter seats were all empty and except for the old woman now leading the shop, not a single soul was there. She gave them an honest smile.

“Oh, Gin-san, Hijikata-san, what a surprise to see you here.”

The silver-haired man returned a weak smile and waved to her. “Hey, granny. Prepare the usuals for us, will ya?”

“Of course!” she nodded and beamed, her wrinkled hands diligently preparing the ingredients right away.

Both men sat down next to each other at the counter. Being in the old lady’s company, they were both relatively composed. It helped Hijikata to calm down a bit. Yet, both men knew it was their last meeting. That they had to say goodbye. Neither of them wanted that, but that didn’t matter. They had to maintain a certain façade after all.

Finally, Hijikata found the courage to speak. He appeared relatively relaxed. “…I knew this is what would happen, but it sure is ironic.” He didn’t eye him, stared into nothingness instead. “No matter what happened, we fought in order to be the Shinsengumi. And because of that, we can’t be the Shinsengumi anymore.”

“So Zura tricked you and sucked you dry, huh?” Gintoki seemed to grin. “I told you to be careful around that con man.”

It was almost strange to have such a calm conversation with him. It was the first time, after all. “And what do you intend to do? …You helped us out. So, I doubt you can stay in Edo either.”

Hijikata didn’t see Gin’s face or posture, but his voice sounded normal. He could sense something underneath, though. He was pushing himself. “If we Yorozuya leave on top of you guys going, the people of Edo will be lonely, won’t they? Right, granny?”

“So you’re staying?” It’s not like he hadn’t expected that. Still, some part of him had wished they would join them, run away with them. It was stupid. Just stupid. “Don’t you understand…? Edo’s no longer…”

Gin remained silent, sipped his green tea and had a tiny sad smile curling his lips.

With a blank expression, Hijikata stared at the counter. “…That’s why, huh…?”

They would stay and fight. The Yorozuya had always been doing so after all. They were strong, much stronger than he had known. He had no choice but to put the fate of their town in their hands. He wasn’t pleased with that. He wanted to fight alongside them. But there was nothing he could do right now. He had to accept that.

It took a while for him to collect his thoughts, to clear his head. Gin had been there for him all of this time, had encouraged him and given him hope when everything had seemed blank. He had been his most important emotional support in these dark times. He had shown him so many things and he didn’t know if he could ever repay him for that. He owed him so much.

“There’s some good booze up there….” he finally said, casually. “I don’t like drinking in crowds… so once in a while, I come here to drink alone.”

Gin said nothing, gave him the space he needed. Hijikata took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “You go ahead and drink it.” He couldn’t suppress his feelings from dripping out a little bit. “It’s expensive liquor. Do it one cup at a time. By the time you've drank it all… I’ll come back.”

It was a promise. It was more than that. It was a flicker of his true feelings. He didn’t speak of _we_ as in the Shinsengumi. He spoke as himself, as Hijikata Toushiro. He would be back for him.

“I’ll pay back the rest of what I owe you then.”

There was a long silence.

Gintoki still didn’t look at him, showing no feelings. “I’ll take the booze, but I don’t remember lending you anything.”

“You did.” It was hard to see his face. A strand of black hair hid his features. As all these memories flashed up again, he felt it weighing him down. From the very first to the very last, this man had protected him. How did he do that? He had always been there for him, right by his side. “That messed up head of yours might’ve forgotten, but I remember.”

“And I won’t forget.” he whispered loud enough for Gintoki to hear. It was just a glimpse of the endless gratitude he held towards him. It was still hard to admit that out loud. But at this moment, it seemed doable.

“It that case…” The silver-haired man replied calmly. “…then you paid me back a long time ago.” There was a small smile on his face. “The one who got something he’d forgotten… was me.”

It was the first time the policeman looked at him directly, even if just for a short moment. He bit his lip, unsure how to reply. But Gintoki was faster anyway. His voice was low, soft, full of swallowed emotions. He had a hard time, too. Even though he was able to hide it relatively well.

“So don’t come back with something to pay me back with. Next time, you won’t be alone.” Gin replied faintly, very gently. His voice was stable and a promise. No, Hijikata wouldn’t be alone anymore. He wouldn’t let him. Because he would be at his side. “If you come back with one bottle of booze we can all drink together, that’ll be plenty.”

 

With a clonk, the old lady served their food.  “ Sorry, for the wait. Here are your usuals. The Uji Gintoki bowl and the Hijikata special.”

Both men were silent, staring at their orders. Neither touched them. The shopkeeper eyed them confusedly.  “Hm? What’s wrong. Neither of you are eating?”

Their fingers brushed against their bowls and pushed them towards the other. “No, sorry granny, it’s just that today…”

They picked up their chopsticks and dishes. While Hijikata had his eyes closed, Gintoki stared down into the mayonnaise-drenched rice bowl. Their words poured out in unison. “…it’s the other way around.”

 

It took a while before the two men were able to finish their bowls. Both had a hard time swallowing it, but they kept eating in dignity. It was the first time they did something like that. It was the greatest gesture of respect they could possibly show each other. Gintoki eating Hijikata’s “dog food”, Hijikata eating Gin’s “cat food”. It was their very own version of sealing their friendship.

With a heavy sigh, they put down their emptied bowls and stared into nothingness. 

“Yup. That was gross.”

As the old lady began to laugh, they did too. It was a genuine, hearty laughter, full of happiness. They snickered at the top of their lungs and couldn’t stop. It was the very first time they had ever been this honest. It was the very first time they shared a candid laughter.

It was the very first time they considered themselves friends.

The two samurai shot each other glances and couldn’t suppress a smile. They were genuinely happy and felt how close they had gotten. It made them both insanely blissful. Hijikata looked at Gintoki and felt everything, clearer than ever. He looked at him and his crooked smile and his silver locks and red eyes, and he just knew he loved him from the bottom of his heart. He knew he wanted to be with him, to come back to him. He wanted to bathe in his smile and show him how much he cared for him. Once he would be back, he would tell him how he felt. He wouldn’t hide it anymore. He would go for everything.

He was looking forward to it.

Chuckling, Hijikata turned away and emptied his water glass. He wanted to be with him for a while longer, drink with him, spend time with him. But he knew this wasn’t for the best. He would save that for later, for when he would be back. They needed to part before things got too serious. And seeing him smile like this, he knew he could. Like this, he was able to say goodbye without regrets.

As Hijikata put the money on the counter and turned to him, Gintoki already reacted. He was faster. “I’ll walk you out.”

The policeman still smiled and said goodbye to the old lady. They both walked out then, into the rainy evening. As Hijikata opened his umbrella, he looked back into red eyes and a stupid smile. He had to smirk as well. Really, a smile for a goodbye was hard to beat.

Gintoki leaned against the door, one hand inside his Kimono, the other holding his umbrella. Their eyes were locked on each other, drowning in the other’s irises. Even though the rain was thick and noisy, the air between them was thin. There were so many unspoken, yet understood words, so many feelings tingling between them. It was still hard to say goodbye, but the certainty of their reunion outweighed the longing.

“I’ll get going…” Hijikata nodded to him and smiled. “See ya around then.”

Gin grinned and tilted his head. “Don’t get lost in outer space.”

The cop snorted softly and turned around, waved and started walking.

For a very long moment Gintoki couldn’t help but stare, eying him as he walked out of his life. He burned his silhouette into his mind, his memory and tried to calm his beating heart. Something inside of him was waiting for him to turn around and come back. But then again, this was for the best. So before the longing got unbearable, he turned around too and started walking in the other direction. He wouldn’t look back. He would walk onwards and look forward to when he would meet him again. Because he would be waiting for him. And when he would be back, he would keep a promise, he made with himself. Once he was back, he would confess to him.

For a second, his smile distorted and he closed his eyes. Damn that bastard. He would be back once the liquor bottle was empty? Guess drinking it all in one sitting was considered cheating, right?

He missed him already.


	2. A bottle of booze

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is an Alternative Ending, since I didn't know how Gintama would end when I started writing this FF in 2016. I was expecting Gintama to end in a fashion that many things will stay exactly the same or go back to the peacefulness of the first episodes. Oh, how naïve I was. But in any case, please enjoy this FF and pretend that everything stayed the same after the Silver Soul arc. You will not regret it, I promise.
> 
> In this sense: please enjoy the chapter!

##  A bottle of booze

 

He was so freaking nervous!

His heart was already beating like crazy and it hadn’t even started yet. Nothing worth mentioning had happened, the situation was completely calm and yet, he was feeling horribly itchy. Every time he thought about what was going to happen, it got worse. We are talking about sweating palms, accelerating pulse, stalling breath and a prickle in his chest. Full on high school girl. Or at least that´s what he felt like.

 _Damn, be cool!_ And even though he told himself that over and over and over again, it didn´t particularly help. In fact, it didn´t help at all. If anything, it made him even pricklier.

They were sitting in the old lady’s bar again. No coincidence. For their personal reunion, they had chosen the place where they had said goodbye. Of course, the official reunion had already happened. Everyone had been drinking and eating and partying as friends and family. It had been a great party, honestly. But Hijikata and Gintoki had just needed to share a look to know that they would still have their _own, private reunion_ as well. Of course, Gin had teased him about owing him some booze. Just to be sure.

So, here they were, sitting where they had parted, enjoying their specials. This time, each his own, of course. They would not go through that kind of pain again. There was _sake_ , too. Pretty good stuff. The restaurant was also quite bustling. It was loud and full of people and laughter and music. Gintoki didn’t particularly mind. In fact, he was quite thankful for that. It drew the attention away from him. So, he was shoving _ankodon_ * into his mouth and gulping down some _sake_ in the mean-time. It was pretty good to make him feel busy.  

They didn’t talk much at this point. Some might say they were wordlessly enjoying each other’s company while eating full of relish. Others might say the sat together in awkward silence. Gin was one of the latter. God, he was nervous! He hadn’t expected that. In his head, all of this had played out quite differently. And he had gone through this scenario _a lot_ in the last months.

In his head he had always been the _cool_ character, not giving anything away. Like confidently leaning over to him and telling him how handsome he was. Like acting like a playboy and smiling seductively. Like pinning him against a wall and being all kinky. He would have liked to feel that confident now, but it seems reality was far off from what he had expected it to be. He was a nervous mess. God!

How often he had thought about this meeting. He had missed him so much. Since the second he had turned his back on him, he had had this sour, squelching feeling. And even when he vowed _not_ to think of him anymore, he had popped into his head a couple of times. It was hard not to think of him after all. Especially when drinking this stupid _sake,_ he had reserved for him and him only.

This thought made him shiver again, trembling with every potential sign that Hijikata felt the same for him, to be honest. He had racked his brain about that many times. He still wasn’t sure what exactly Hijikata felt towards him. Was he interested in him, too? Was he not? Was Gin misreading all the vibes? Was he reading too much into the atmosphere? Argh, damn it at all!

Gin sipped his sake and his face turned red. The uncertainty still took a large toll on him, turning him into an anxious wreck. The last weeks without him had been rough. They had been full of heartache and yearning and, yes, admittedly, at times, kinky fantasies. He had played out this very scenario thousands of times in his head. Normally, Gin wasn’t the type for that. Usually, he was straight-forward, pragmatic and acted on instinct and feeling. But this was different. With this, he couldn’t count on his fighting skills, combat experience or battle strategies. This was a whole new thing to him and he had zero practice it. Urgh, this really was a mess.

He still wanted to do it. There was no way around it. He would make it crystal-clear for him. He didn’t go through all of this not to. But he felt his confidence wavering with every waking minute. Just what was he supposed to say, anyway? He didn’t know how to behave anymore. He didn’t know how to bring it up. So, he decided to drink instead. Smart decision. Very smart.

Restlessly, he glanced over at him. Hijikata was sitting next to him, drinking and eating peacefully, it seemed. That bastard! Did he have any idea how much Gin suffered over here? Couldn’t he just finally break the ice? Why was that always his job, damn it?! He could say something too for once. Gin-san wasn’t his personal entertainer!

With his head flushed, his eyes turned to his own dish, just to sway back to the handsome man next to him the second later. Hijikata was dressed in a ridiculously sexy garment. It actually looked very similar to what he had worn at the time he had quit the Shinsengumi to work as a detective. The time he had almost punched the Shogun in his ugly face. Tight dark pants of a _hakama_ and a _tabi_ , as well as a pale blue _haori_. Though Gin also liked western clothes, he had a particular fetish for the traditional Japanese outfits. Or maybe he just found them insanely sexy on Hijikata. He didn’t know anymore. The thing was, the sight of Hijikata made his stomach feel warm and fuzzy.

He couldn’t look at him anymore without his heart skipping too many beats. He really wondered what was going on inside of this bastard’s head. Was he happy? Or was he bored? Did he feel this awkwardness, too? Did he feel this tension between them? All these unsaid words? Did he feel nervous at all?

Gin was gulping down another cup of the sake that Hijikata had bought him. Today was the day. He would finally tell him the truth. Show him how serious he was. He had been waiting so long for that. And now he was just dawdling around, waiting and waiting and waiting. Waiting for an opening, for a sign, for _something_. Damn, he was a coward! But just how in the world should he do this?

“So…” As Hijikata’s voice sounded, Gin honestly felt his heart drop to his feet. “…how… have you been?”

Really?

 

Really? Was this guy freaking serious?! He wanted to beat him to a pulp so badly right now! Gin was angry, couldn’t control his feelings anymore. They were whirling inside his chest, creating a weird indefinable clutter. On the one hand, he was grateful Hijikata was making the first step, on the other hand, he wanted to kill him for being such an idiot. God, this wasn’t at all like the sexy reunion scenarios he had gone to bed with! This was such a mess!

“Yeah…” Honestly, it was the only answer Gin was able to process in that kind of situation. He didn’t want to talk about something like that right now! Damn it, couldn’t this guy get a clue?

 The dark-haired man went silent. Seemed like he didn’t know how to start a conversation either. Awkward. Damn it. Seemed like it was up to Gin to start this conversation. Again. He pouted for a moment, but then drank his sake and mumbled.

“…Liquor is good…”

“…I got it at the shop in Ginza. The owner said it’s a very good one.”

“…Ginza? And there I thought you promised me something from outer space.”

“…I did not!” just a faint protest, then a low growl. “Don’t nag about presents from other people, damn it…”

“I didn’t nag, I said it’s good, didn’t I?”

“While backslapping, yeah.”

“Ah, you’re a pain in the ass.” Gin, his face flushed now, scratched his head and pouted. Damn, this was hard. But then again, in a way, he really enjoyed their bickering. It felt like nothing had changed after all.

“Look who’s talking,” Hijikata growled and took a sip of alcohol himself. He didn’t seem particularly angry. That reassured him. So, he decided to ride on this track for a while longer.

“…What are the Gorilla and Okita-kun doing tonight?”

“Ah…” seemed like he was a bit taken aback by this question. He emptied his sake and allowed Gin to refill it. “Don’t know exactly. Think Kondou is going to the Shimura’s household and Sougo… don’t really know, don’t wanna know.”

Yeah, he wondered if this sadist was still on their tail. Though, of course, this time Gin would gladly buy some snapshots.

“What about your two?”

“Ahn…” Gin scratched his head. “…Shinpachi´s at home, I guess. Kagura wanted to have a sleepover with Sojo-hime. I think they’re having a girl’s party at our place.”

“I see…”

Yeah, this was awkward all right. But at least they tried. Gin sighed and stared into nothingness, just a little shy. If they would have been just friends, this meeting would go a lot different. He really wondered if Hijikata realized something was off about him, realized how fidgety he was. Did he have a clue at all? Was he able to put the pieces together? Was he expecting him to have fallen in love with him?

Damn it, this was unbearable. Why did this bastard invite him to drink here of all places? They should have chosen a place more private than this. But here, with so many people, it was hard. He felt eavesdropped. He wanted to go someplace else. But where? He couldn’t go home. For one thing, Kagura was there, for the other, it would be too straightforward to invite him home. Gah!

As he gulped down another cup, he felt the alcohol kicking in. He had had a lot of cups already, so he was glad and a little bit surprised when he finally felt the warmth spreading and his head spinning. Hijikata had had a few cups as well. They both couldn’t hold their liquor very well and he wasn’t planning on getting shitfaced drunk. Just a little bit, to have a pretense. He wanted this guy to be sober when he confessed after all. But as the evening progressed, this seemed farther and farther off. How was he supposed to pull that off now?

He was glancing to the side again. Hijikata seemed quite taken by the alcohol as well. He stared into nothingness and was stiff as a poker. He really wondered what was going on inside of him. But then again, he would never find out while they stayed here. They had finished their orders as well. If they didn’t start having a decent conversation soon, this ship was going down.

This thought made him angry. No, he wouldn’t allow that! This time there was no quitting! He would get with this man once and for all. He needed to get a hold of himself.

Or so he said. It still took him a few nervous seconds before he had the courage to speak his mind. His voice was kind of low and shy, too. Damn it!

“…Let’s… go someplace else… it’s too loud to have a decent conversation here.”

Atta boy! He was almost proud. He would be prouder though if he had managed to say that more assertively like he had imagined in his head. Still, it was some progress. He wasn’t interested in _talking_ to him in the slightest, but he needed to get out here. He needed another opening, another approach. Sitting here in silence wouldn’t do any good. They were men of action, after all. And he was tired of fiddling around like that.

“Oh... okay…”

Yes, that was more like it. Gin emptied his sake cup and grabbed for the bottle to take it with them. In his fantasies, he would have shamelessly grabbed Hijikata’s wrist and dragged him along, but well… in reality, he was too timid to do that. So, he straddled along and took the lead, trying to hide his insecurity in doing so. As he stepped into the open street, he shivered for a moment. It had been hot in there, but the wind cooled his head down for a second. When the policeman, however, followed behind him, all had been for naught. He was back to his edgy state. He concealed it with false poise and started walking.

“Let’s go.”

Would have been a lot cooler if he actually had a clue where to.

 

So, he was just strolling casually through the streets, trying his best to come off as unfazed and natural as possible. Both men were walking side by side in silence. Sometimes, Gin snuck a peak, but he couldn’t look directly at him. He was racking his brain as to where he could take him. Another restaurant? A bar maybe? Straight to a love hotel, to make his intentions clear? Or a shady backstreet? God, there were so many possibilities. He didn’t know what to do. Who would have thought this would turn out to be so difficult? Drat.

Just from the corner of his eye, he realized they had left the busy streets and were walking alongside the riverbank now. There were fewer people here and the lights were less frequent. It was night after all. Also, there were a lot of promising dark back alleys to go to. But that felt really cheap. God, he just wanted to be alone with this guy, was that too much to ask?

The street was deserted and quiet. There was only the sound of the far away from bustling streets and the soft gushing of the river. The next street lantern was a few feet away, so they were engulfed in a weak twilight. Gin’s heart was beating faster, he hadn’t realized they were heading towards such a relatively remote location. Even the houses next to them were dark and the lights turned off.

This was his chance, right? His first real shot! He just needed to man the hell up to do it! Gah, what a pain in the ass!

Gin took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a second. He gathered all of his courage to open his mouth and say something. Anything. The first thing that popped into his head.

“So, …aliens, huh? Did you ever-“

Before he could even finish his sentence, he felt a strange sensation weakening his body. There was a hand curling around his wrist, forcing him to stop. With big, widened eyes, Gin stared at Hijikata and when their eyes met, he felt like dying for a second.

The cop’s glance was clouded, but yet very firm. He glared at him with his steel-blue eyes and Gin knew he was in trouble. For some reason, he felt like a deer staring into the eyes of a wolf. His heart skipped a beat when the man dragged him a few steps towards the terrace front and stalled him there. Suddenly, they were very close, and Gin could feel the officer’s bitter nicotine breath strangling him. He gasped for air and couldn’t move.

Without ushering a single word, the policeman came even closer. Gin could feel himself retreating backwards without thinking. He hit the wall of the building and shuddered. The night was dark and along the riverbank, there was no one in sight. The way Hijikata was looking at him made Gin feel woozy.  He didn’t touch him anymore and still, it felt like he was under his skin. There were a few inches between them and yet, the air was thin and unstable. The tension got unbearable.

Gin’s body was beyond saving now. He felt his racing heartbeat in his chest, his temples, his throat and his tongue. A fever was burning him up, evaporating all the air around him until he couldn’t breathe at all. The wall in his back was no help at all, it rather had the strange effect of arousing him. He felt all the strength sapping out of his body, his legs growing weak. His head was blanking. _Ayaiyayaiyai…_

Another step and they almost touched. It was ridiculous how close they were and how it messed with Gintoki. He could smell his breath, could smell the acetous scent of the booze and the mayonnaise and the bitter smack of cigarettes. It wasn’t something he genuinely enjoyed but knowing it belonged to him, he didn’t mind. Hijikata was observing him, he thought. No, he was… waiting. What was he waiting for? The tension riled him up and chased his heart towards an abyss. He couldn’t stand it any longer. He wanted this man so much. And then, it popped into his head and he almost wailed. Wait, was he waiting for him to give some kind of permission? Permission to kiss him? God, he was such an idiot.

He was sick and tired of waiting.

 

Without thinking anymore, Gin did as he pleased. He let the alcohol bottle fall down into the grass, grabbed Hijikata’s haori with one hand and his neck with the other, using both to pull him into the kiss.

When their lips finally met, Gintoki felt an amazing wave rocking through his body. It was hot, dripping down from his head to his toes, followed by a second strike of a cold tingling. It felt so good, he almost moaned into the kiss. His whole body was on a rampage now. His pulse was beyond saving, and his head was swirling, swimming, drowning. He took a deep breath and could taste this man. His tongue, the booze, the mayonnaise. It was surprisingly good.

Hijikata had reacted quickly. As soon as the silver-haired man had pulled him closer, his arms had wrapped around his back, dragging him into a forceful embrace. He could feel his strong grip and fingers digging into his clothes. His tongue was hungrily searching for his. Gin felt lightheaded as if all of his worries fell off him like a crust of dirt. He was leaning into the passionate kiss, savoring every single second of it. God, so good.

The kiss was way too short. The dark-haired man retreated and panted for air, leaned his forehead against his.  It was just a few seconds later that the Odd Jobs realized he was heaving for air as well, needing it more than he had expected. His head was swirling, burning in a fever and his chest was as tense as the string of a _shamisen_. So many thoughts spun inside of him. He wanted to say so many things. He wanted to scream them at him. How terribly he had missed him. That he had thought of him every freaking day. That he had been dying to see him again. He wanted him to know, he wanted him to understand. He wanted to say it, out loud.

Violently, his heart hammered against his rips. At the same time, a hand as tender as a feather stroked his cheek and ear, running through his hair. He shivered and couldn’t believe this actually happened. Hijikata looked quite worn, out of breath, helpless. It was insanely arousing. And yet, his reaction was a smile. He couldn’t hide it, it came on its own. A pleased, genuine smile.

He was shaking in his boots. Wow, he really never figured this day would ever come. How the hell did he fall in love with this man, again?

As he smiled, he could see the corners of Hijikata’s mouth bent up as well. He beamed, happily. God, how he loved this smile, these eyes. He would never let him go again. He would be at his side forever. In this very moment, he didn’t care if it sounded cheesy or how stupid it was. He just wanted to see him smile for the rest of his days.

Carefully, Gin let his thumb graze Hijikata’s cheek, caressing his lips. So many words wanted to pour out of his mouth, but he knew he didn’t need to say them. He knew this guy would understand without him telling. Because he could feel Hijikata’s feelings, too. The craving in his tight embrace, the affection in his gentle touch, the overwhelming happiness in his smirk. It was obvious he felt the same, had gone through the same troubles he had. It was plain as day how their feelings matched. It couldn’t make him happier.

For a moment, both chuckled softly. It was a load off their chests. Though for some part, it was still hard to believe it finally happened. Especially Gin had a hard time swallowing all of this. So Hijikata had feelings for him after all. That damn homo.

As he leaned in to kiss him again, they could hear faint voices from afar. Someone was coming their way. Both men took a quick peek to the side to see a couple walking in their direction. Seemed like they hadn’t seen them yet. Gin, though still breathless and with a rattling pulse, grinned and regained his lost confidence. He whispered.

“Let’s go someplace else.”

“Yeah…” the reply was hushed, but Gin couldn’t detect any real protest. So, he grabbed the policeman’s wrist and stormed off, dragging him along to someplace else.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annotations:
> 
> *Anko don stands for anko (sweet red bean paste) and donburi (rice served with toppings) and is one of Gintoki´s regular dishes.


	3. Take the gloves off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At last: the chapter all of you have been looking forward to for so long~. Please know that I love them in switching roles and even though one of them is top in this chapter, they will eventually switch. 
> 
> Can you guess who's going to be top?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those unfamiliar with the term: "Take the gloves off" is a metaphor for "get serious" or "hurry up". In this case, it can also mean "don't be so gentle" or being rougher.
> 
> In this sentiment: let's get serious!

##  Take the gloves off

 

His mood was over the top when he opened the door. He couldn’t suppress a cheeky grin. Just a short look around the room and then he took off his shoes and his wooden sword to place it against the wall. It was nice here. Not the best of course, but it would do. It had a bathroom and a bed and the lights were dimmed. It was just a normal hotel room with a bit of a kinky flair. He would have preferred a Japanese style room, but this had been one of the last rooms available. So he wouldn’t complain. He didn’t come here for a tour, anyway.

When he turned around, he could see Hijikata uncomfortably closing the door, avoiding direct eye contact. He was as red as a tomato _. So cute_ , Gintoki thought and his grin almost blew up his face. Of course, the proud commander surely never had set foot in a Love Hotel before. Well, apart from the time he had been drugged of course. He was quite shy when it was about love, after all. Gin enjoyed the show. It was just too adorable watching him all flustered like that.  

It wasn’t like Gin _was not_ nervous. In fact, he was freaking out on the inside and not just because he was so ecstatic. His heart was throbbing and his head was swimming. He was so edgy, he didn’t know where to start. But he had a lot less shame than the handsome black-haired man when it got to things like this. And he had waited way too long to take things slow now.

Gintoki chuckled and crossed his arms, tilting his head. He wanted to lighten the mood a bit. “Your first time?”

Hijikata grumbled and shot him a fierce look. It was so sexy. “Shut up!”

The chuckle deepened and he closed his eyes. “Don’t be like that. I was being considerate.”

“Tsk, yeah sure.” Hijikata walked past him, his eyes closed as well. He was so tense, it was hard not to notice. “If you’re being considerate, then I’m the king of fairies.”

Gin observed him carefully and bit his lip. He wanted it as well. Or else he wouldn’t have come. So, Gin allowed himself to tease him a little. It helped him overcome his own edginess for a bit. “Don’t worry then, king of fairies. It’s normal to be nervous around Gin-san, a lot of chicks are. Because I’m handsome.”

A grunt and Hijikata shot him another sharp look. He liked him being so grumpy. “You really are a pain in the ass, you know that?”

Funny he would phrase it like that. But first things first. Snickering, Gin eyed him, feeling his pulse strangling him again. He appeared a lot more relaxed than he actually was. “Tell me news, Hijikata-kun.”

“Tsk.” The police officer looked away and didn’t know what to do, it seemed. It was clear he wasn’t used to these kinds of situations and that his pride got in the way of the things he wanted. Gin wanted to tease him just a little more, to see how he would react. He loved seeing him like that. Plus, he was also a bit unsure of how to do this.

“So, you wanna tell me you’ve done this plenty of times then?”

“No.” Gin stared towards the bed. “I mean, yeah… I had sex once or twice, but… not like this.”

No answer, of course. Hijikata was burdening himself with a lot of unnecessary questions, he bet. This could get bothersome. So Gin smiled, still leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, eying him. “You’re thinking too much.”

The man in the dark traditional clothes sighed annoyed and was embarrassed. “Who’s the one talking shit here, bastard?”

So he wouldn’t make a move, huh? Wow, he was really so unbelievably timid. Guess this truly was his first time.

That was a lot of pressure for the silver-haired samurai. Still, he smiled and started moving. He stopped in front of him, closing most of the distance between them. Hijikata was glancing at him, his eyes sending mixed signals. He looked jittery. It reignited the uncertainty in Gin’s heart as well. But he wouldn’t give in. He hadn’t come this far for this. So he took another step and softly bumped into him, making Hijikata hit the wall. He didn’t touch him yet, he was just looking into these insanely beautiful blue eyes.

“Don’t worry… I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to.” He said, serious for a change. He didn’t want to scare him off, after all. “Gin-san is not that kind of guy…”

Another growl and Hijikata seemed annoyed. Not genuinely of course, but it was his way of dealing with embarrassing situations after all. He didn’t struggle, seemed fine with being trapped like that. Instead, he grabbed Gin’s hip and pulled him towards himself. “Can’t you just shut up already?”

Another grin. Gin liked being groped like that. So, he raised his arms too, seizing him. He couldn’t refrain from burying one hand into dark hair and using the other to yank him closer. “If that’s what you want… why don’t you force me to, then?”

 

“…Jerk…” The cop snarled, just before he drew him into another kiss. This time, it was even more passionate, a little bit more reckless as well. They were alone now, no judging eyes after all. They could do whatever they wanted.

This thought got Gintoki pretty riled up and caused a lot of blood to flow downwards below his stomach. Oh, how much he had been looking forward to this. He was not so good at holding back, was going for everything now. Hungrily, his tongue was taking all it got. He buried his fingers into dark locks and pressed himself against Hijikata’s body. His other hand was drifting, trailing his chest down to his stomach and finally grabbing his butt.

When he felt the officer leaning into it, pressing against him as well, he lost count of time or what he was actually doing. His body was filling up with tension and fever, his head was empty and light and giving in. Drunk from these feelings stirring inside of him, he pushed Hijikata against the wall. His hands began wandering, exploring and everything they felt was adding more fuel to his fire. Their tongues were battling for dominance and the kiss became deeper, more demanding. It was exhilarating. He couldn´t get enough of that.

When their hips pressed against each other, he could feel the guy’s erection grinding against his own. Gin couldn’t hold back, he moved his hand downwards to touch it. It felt incredible.

For a few more moments, they were able to make out like this before he could hardly think anymore. He wanted to rip his clothes off and fuck him. He hadn’t been this horny for quite a while now. The last time had been… well, with Hijikata as well. Though back then, he had been drugged and turned into a playboy.

Suddenly, he felt Hijikata breaking the kiss, pulling his chin up and heaving for air. His blue eyes were unsteady, unfocused, the gaze clouded and aroused. Gin realized, he was gasping as well. They were both pretty agitated, could feel their hammering pulse inside their sore throats. Hijikata’s voice was throaty and hushed. He was gulping and pressing against him.

“…How… ‘re we gonna…”

Do it? The thought pierced his heart and sent a hot tremor through his erection. Hell, he was erotic. It wasn’t a question for Gintoki at all. He had known the answer way before, had made up his mind weeks ago. He wanted to go all the way. He had waited so long for all of this, there was no way he would be satisfied with a little hugging and kissing. He wanted to do it with him. No questions asked.

Still, Gin knew what Hijikata was getting at. Who was going to be top and who was going to be bottom? This was an obvious question. Both of them were pretty dominant guys after all. And truth be told, Gin would have loved to be on top. He would have loved to fuck Hijikata senseless. But he also knew that this would be hard on the timid policeman. He was a prideful character after all, whereas Gin had no shame whatsoever and was basically up for everything. He wasn’t ashamed of something like that, so him being bottom was the obvious choice. At least for the beginning. He was fine with that. He had decided so weeks ago, after all.

The silver-haired man grinned and kissed him, chewed on his lips and shot him a seductive glance. “I don’t mind. …Do whatever you want to do. I’ll take on whatever you have to offer.”

Hijikata was gulping again and Gin chuckled. Frankly, he was looking forward to it. The strong handsome man topping him wasn't a bad thought at all. It was essential to him that this mayonnaise freak felt good and comfortable, that he was enjoying it. It was far more important than him insisting on being top. Either way, this was a gigantic step for the policeman. Especially if this was his first time, after all.

Impatiently, Gintoki started to undress the man in front of him. He didn’t want to wait any more than necessary. He stripped him of his haori and loosened his obi while kissing him anew. It took a few seconds before the cop started doing the same with his clothes. Soon, their kimonos lay on the ground and Gin was walking backwards towards the bed, dragging and kissing Hijikata while doing so.

As he hit the bed with his heel, he broke their fiery kiss and dropped backwards to sit on the bed. From here, the view wasn’t half as bad. Looking up into Hijikata’s aroused face and to his bare chest made his appetite grow. Restraining nothing, Gin kissed his stomach and trailed his tongue downwards to his navel. He felt the cop shiver under it and that encouraged him even more. Brazenly, he grabbed the waistband of his pants and dragged them down.  He helped him step out them before he attacked him again, showering his waist with kisses. His fingernails scratched over his trained muscles and the soft skin between his pelvic bones.

Even covered by his boxer shorts, Hijikata’s erection was in plain sight. It pressed itself against the fabric leaving a vague mark. Really, Gin hadn’t known he would ever love something like this so much. He would never have guessed, he could be _this_ thrilled by the sight of a man. His mouth almost watered from anticipation and he couldn’t refrain from giving it a try. He pulled the dark-haired man closer and kissed him through the fabric. It felt awfully good.

While Gintoki was caressing him through the thin layers of cloth, stroking and biting carefully, he felt a hand diving into his hair, twisting it. He was tense, he could feel it, but the sweet tooth didn’t mind it. He couldn’t stop touching him. The nails curling into his hair and skull made the feeling even stronger. In fact, he wanted to do more. He wanted to rip his shorts off and taste him. He wanted to know how it would feel. He wanted him to feel good, to moan and tremble. He couldn’t hold back anymore. His fingers finally caught under his shorts and attempted to drag them down as well, so he could taste him for good.

Though, before he could get to that, Hijikata’s fingers yanked his head backwards. It hurt for a second and Gin bit his lips, looked upwards to see what was going on. Before he could catch a good glance of his face, however, he felt strong hands shoving him down into the sheets. Honestly surprised, the samurai looked at him only to find a panting, severely aroused police officer pushing him onto the bed. Hijikata was leaning over him, tugging at his black shirt to open it.

So he was taking the lead, after all? Gin grinned satisfied. Had taken him long enough, though. He was fine with it. More than just fine.

When he finally yanked open his shirt, Hijikata turned to Gin’s pants next. The man with the red eyes was happy to help him get rid of them. His _strawberry_ boxers followed a moment later. What? He liked them, okay!

Now, the only thing Gin wore was his black shirt half ripped open. He was a bit sad Hijikata had impeded his attempt to give him a blowjob. He genuinely had been looking forward to that. Still, having this heaving bare-chested man hovering above him was no reason to complain. He licked his slightly swollen lips and stared upwards with a craving expression. This guy looked so flushed and agitated, it gave him a real kick.

When he was absolutely sure Hijikata was going for top, he fingered for the things he had managed to get out of his pants before they had landed on the floor. He couldn’t suppress another teasing smirk and shoved it into his vision. It was a small tube of lubrication and a condom.

“You know what you gotta do, right?”

Of course, Hijikata was blushing. He loved him for that. The man above him growled softly, annoyed. He snatched it out of his hand and narrowed his eyes. “’Course I do! I’m not an idiot.”

Happily, Gintoki beamed at that. God, he had such a major crush on this guy. He really didn’t mind how they did it, as long as they did it with each other. Instinctively, he spread his legs and pulled him down into another hungry kiss. For a long moment, he trapped him in a fierce crashing of their tongues. Just before they both needed to heave for air, he pulled away and shot the man a promising look.

“Then do it. I won’t lay here waiting all night.”

He saw Hijikata’s face twitching. But before he could say anything else, the dark-haired man kissed him again. This time even fiercer and almost angrily. He wondered if he felt challenged now. Maybe he was pressuring him too much? He couldn’t help it. He just really wanted to sleep with him. So he leaned into the kiss with everything he got. His fingers tousled his hair, his legs grazed his and he let his fingers ran down his throat to his chest. He wanted him so badly.

A few more times Hijikata showered him with kisses until his mouth started wandering downwards. At first, he placed his lips against Gintoki’s throat, sucking on it, then to his collarbone and chest and even further below to his navel. His fingers were following, trailing over his muscular torso and making the silver-haired man shiver. From where he touched, a fever thrived and was dragged downwards with his kisses. When he nudged his hips, Gintoki felt hot inside his stomach and cold inside his head and feet. Oi, oi! Really? Was he really going to…?

 

He was. And when he curled his lips around it without any kind of warning, Gintoki had to gasp for air. The sensation got worse as he started to move, taking his full length in and curling his tongue around it. Gin’s head crashed into the cushion and he moaned loudly.

Wow, he hadn’t been expecting that. Seemed like the demonic Vice Commander was not so timid after all. He was quite good, to be honest. As Gin glanced down, he could see him doing it. This view was even more arousing. His mouth, his tongue, the warmth and the tingling of his hair on his skin when he got down was simply amazing. He felt a shiver running through his bones, and groaned softly in response.

As Hijikata sucked harder, his breath stalled and he pushed the palm of his hand into his eye, biting his lip.

It was at that moment, he felt his hands moving. First, his fingers were just grazing his inner thighs, then deeper, even deeper until they met sensitive skin. Gintoki gulped and felt nervous all of the sudden. His heart was beating like crazy and shot small electric waves down his stomach. He was looking down and buried his hand in the sheets expectantly. But it was not until Hijikata put his first finger in, that he dug his nails into the bed.

He was very cautious and gentle, he could feel that. And under the sensation of his lips around his erection, he could barely feel his finger. Still, he couldn’t suppress a long, sensitive moan, as he pushed inside and started moving along his prostate. Seemed like this guy really _did_ know what he was doing. Gin pressed his eyes shut and heaved for air, losing track of reality.

The edginess was growing and all of the sudden, he felt weak and defenseless. He hadn’t expected it to feel this way. This was completely different from what he had imagined it to be. He felt just a little scared, though he knew he didn’t have to. Everything was going to be alright.

“…Everything okay?” the black-haired man asked, looking at him from between his thighs.

Gintoki bit his lips once more and nodded, glanced down and swallowed. “Yeah… don’t worry….”

The cop nodded, too and sunk down again, tasting him while stroking him from the inside. It was a strange feeling, but he liked it. He wasn’t ashamed. But he wouldn’t tell him he had prepared for this, either. In fact, Gin had used the time Hijikata had been away to… well 'practice'. He had tried it many times, had tried to get used to the feeling and the pain and the pleasure. It had hurt at first, but with time he had gotten a hang of it, even found a way he could enjoy it. It was because of this, he wasn’t that scared of what was going to come. He knew it would feel good.  

It took a few moments until he hit the right spot. Together with his tongue on his erection, this felt insanely good. Gintoki winced and bit his own finger, closing his eyes. His breath tumbled and his voice shivered.

“…there… was… good.”

He could _feel_ him looking at him. It was a sexy thought and he licked his lip. Then, Hijikata tried again and seemed to have found his sweet spot. As he grazed it, Gintoki cringed and suppressed a loud moan. His head was whirling for a few seconds and he felt his chest grow tight. Oh dear… He wanted more.

“…Toushirou…” It was the very first time he called him by his first name. It felt odd, but he liked it. He glared down, his glance clouded by lust. “...one more…”

Seemed like he gave the man with the black hair a hard time. He hesitated for a moment until he added a second finger. Promptly, Gintoki was moaning louder, throwing his head backwards. Two were definitely another level. It felt so tight and maxed out already. But he knew two was barely enough to prepare him for what was to come. He bit his lips harder and bore with it until Hijikata found the spot again. Then, it was actually quite decent, even pretty pleasant.

He wheezed when his fingers scissored and his head bowed down, up to where it hit his throat. Hissing, Gin grabbed Hijikata’s scalp and buried his fingers in his hair. He was completely out of breath now and could feel how he lost control. He wanted more, he wanted _him_. Damn it, couldn’t he hurry the hell up?

“...one… more…” he whispered miserably, begging almost.

He didn’t notice Hijikata’s hesitation. He couldn’t feel what was going on inside of him and how flustered he was. It was plainly obvious he wanted to take things slower, that he was unsure of whether this was right. But it seemed like he swallowed the doubts as well as he swallowed Gin whole the next minute when he did as he was told.

Gintoki’s moaning was brash and breathless now. He was moving around, his hands burying in the sheets or in his own hair or between his teeth. It still hurt a bit here and then, but the sensation felt very close to what he was aiming for. He felt so full of him, knew he was getting closer to an orgasm. When his fingers spread again, his back was arching and he was making a rather high-pitched sound. He started trembling and couldn’t take it anymore. He just couldn’t.

“S-stop!” He soughed and yanked at Toushirou’s hair to pull him up. The man seemed surprised, almost panicky. He stared at him with a guilty expression, but before he could have opened his mouth to say anything stupid, Gin was propping himself up and dragging him into a hungry kiss. The dark-haired man was so befuddled, he couldn’t even kiss him back. The embrace, however, lasted only a moment until Gin broke it apart and gasped for air, hissing at him.

“Goddamnit… hurry up already… and _take the gloves off_ …”

 

He possibly couldn’t have told him anything that would have made him look even more bewildered. The black-haired man was staring at him with an unbelieving expression, panting and gasping. Gintoki didn’t have any patience for that. He wanted this man to fuck him already.

“…condom… now…”

It was an order and Gin meant it that way. He had no time for Hijikata’s self-doubts. If this idiot couldn’t see how toey he made him, it was his own fault. He wouldn’t make it any clearer than that.

It still took a few seconds before he reacted. He gulped and seemed a little taken aback by Gin’s brashness. Still, he fumbled for the condom and tore it open. Gin didn’t exactly know why, but watching him rolling it over his cock was extremely hot. Gin bit his swollen lip and grabbed himself, slowly stroking himself in anticipation. He wanted to kiss him, but that would probably just distract him. So instead, he lifted his hips and spread his legs for him.

When the cop finally got into position, Gin shivered. He felt one of his hands pressing his leg down and the other grazing his thigh. And then he felt his hot muscle pressing against him, only slowly going deeper and deeper.

It was a sensation that both hurt and felt intoxicating.

Gin heaved for the scarce air and groaned. His fingers clutched to Toushirou’s arm propping him up on the bed, while the other continued to stroke his own erection. The sensation let the pain grow weaker and the pleasure greater. The man on top was still going at snail’s pace, moving very gently. It drove him crazy, but he couldn’t change that now. It took a few thrusts to make him get used to the feeling, a few more until he hit the right spot. Gintoki’s moaning got loud and rapturous now. He shuddered and tightened the grip on his manhood. With every thrust, he trembled and the lust engraved itself into his skin, his bones. If felt good. It really felt fucking good.

He wheezed when Toushirou finally picked up the pace. He could hear his slightly louder and tumbling breath and allowed himself to take a peak. When he saw the attractive officer leaning over him with his eyes closed and his head flushed, he felt his pulse going out of control. He whispered his name and dug his fingernails into the parts of his skin he could reach. He felt himself getting lost in ecstasy. He would never have guessed it would feel like this.

Whenever Hijikata lost his pace or the spot, Gintoki helped him find it again, pressing himself against him, propping him up and arching his back. He wound up pulling back his own leg to give him more space and the way it felt by doing that was even more intense. The silver-haired man was a mess now, wheezing and puffing and convulsing under him. Gasping and moaning, he was encouraging him to keep on going. He couldn’t stop trembling and his head was spinning so much, he didn’t know where up and down was anymore. He couldn’t take this any longer. He was at his limit.

When he felt Toushirou hit the right spot over and over again, he didn’t know what was happening. All of the sudden, his back arched and he cried out, digging his nails into the next thing he could find. The sensation of a hot shiver rampaged through his muscles and left him shaking. After that, an icy cold was lulling his fingertips and toes, contracting his muscles and pulling everything up and down to the middle of his body. It only lasted a few seconds until a hot shower engulfed him, making him break down in a wet sweat.

Not knowing whether he felt hot or cold anymore, Gintoki was heaving for air, moaning, and wincing. He felt tremors rocking through his body and his hand getting wet from everything he had bottled up so long. It honestly felt incredible.

He didn’t realize until a few desperate breaths later that his partner had stopped moving. Feeling dangerously light-headed, Gin opened his eyes to look at him. The first thing, he could see from inside his misty gaze was his own belly. It was slick and wet and still quivering. Something dripped on it from above and it took him another few seconds before he realized it was blood. Instinctively, he got up to look at his face. Hijikata was staring at him disbelievingly, his eyes, though full of lust, also clouded with surprise. A small trail of blood was dripping out of his nose.

And all of the sudden, Gintoki had to chortle. He couldn’t take it anymore, he was bubbling over with laughter, rocking and convulsing. Tears came into his eyes and he held his stomach. Hijikata’s erection still deep inside of him made this movement also quite stimulating.

 

He could feel how befuddled this made his partner. He was staring down at him with no clue whatsoever. He was blushing. His eyes half closed, still chuckling, Gin finally raised his hand to brush the blood away.

“Wow… you’re really perverted, you know?”

Seemed like the cop hadn’t even realized his nose was bleeding. Visibly embarrassed, he cussed and used the back of his hand to wipe it away.

“S-sorry…”

Gin was staring at him with a crooked smile. God, he loved him. He really did. He couldn’t refrain from teasing him just a little.

“Honestly… getting a nosebleed from this? How old are you? Sixteen?”

“Tsk… shut up…” He looked away, ashamed. “…Didn’t expect you to come already…”

“Heeh…” He smiled and felt his cock inside of him, throbbing with every heartbeat. He found that so sexy. “Right… sorry… should have said something…” Licking his dry lips, he wrapped his legs around his hip and drew him closer. “…You didn’t come yet, right?”

“…No…” It was so soft, so shy, so undemanding, Gintoki’s heart skipped a beat.

“Then, why don’t we change that, hm?”

He could feel him trembling under his words. Because he was still hesitant, Gin started moving his hips to show him he was serious. Toushirou only needed a few more seconds until he took the lead again. It felt a little different now. Still good, though also a little bit more shallow. However, he was so soft down there that he didn’t mind. This time, he took the chance to observe his lover while doing it. He looked unbelievably sexy. The way his muscles moved, the way his face contorted, the soft, shy moaning dripping out of his mouth. It sent the arousal right back into his bones, throwing him off the ground. He really couldn’t believe this was happening. That the prideful demonic Vice Chief would go so far, for him. His heart seemed close to burst of happiness. He was so lucky.

It took a few minutes until he experienced what it sounded like to hear him come. He was so timid, so quiet, so erotic, it was unbelievable. Exhausted, he gasped for air and leaned over him, searching for support in the soft cushions. Gintoki pulled him down and started kissing him. He could still feel him convulsing inside of him and it made him grow even harder. But right now, he only wanted to kiss him, to feel his body heat, to stroke his face and neck and back. His puffing was loud in his ear and his breath smelled of himself. He savored every last bit of it, kissing and caressing his tongue and his throat.

Toushirou seemed pretty beaten. He still remained on top of him, embracing him now, nuzzling the crook of his neck and placing soft pecks on his skin. He was inhaling his scent as well and the realization made Gintoki shudder. Really, this man was so gentle; he really felt out of place. He wasn´t made of glass, for Pete’s sake. It was truly an odd sensation to be treated this tenderly, with this much love. It felt strange and honestly, it also crept him out a little bit.  So much attention made him nervous and he couldn't cope with that.

Both men cuddled like that for a few minutes until they were able to get a hold of themselves. Gin was feeling sweaty and hot, but the damn air conditioning made him shiver. He let his fingers run through dark hair and chuckled, staring up into his lovely relaxed face.

“Well… that was nice…”

“Ha…” Hijikata whispered, wearied. “…yeah…”

Gin’s heart was overflowing with happiness and he snickered once more. “Not bad for a cop like yourself. And here I thought you were just good looks.”

“Uh…” it was plain obvious, he was too tired to play their usual bickering game now. The silver-haired man didn’t mind. He would let him rest for a bit.

“…Mind if I take a shower?”

His blue eyes opened and he shot him a short glance. “…sure…”

Biting his lip, Gintoki nodded and rolled over. He winked at him. His mouth and hand still had a few bloodstains on them. “You should go, too, once I’m finished.”

“…okay…”

 

~ ~ ~

 

Even though water pouring down his bare skin was hot, it gave him a chill. It helped him regain consciousness. Crouching on the tiles, Hijikata held his head, covering his eyes. His heart was beating fast and his head was overheating. Only slowly, he grasped the whole dimension of what had happened.

_They had fucking done iiiit!_

Blushing and internally screaming, he buried his face in his hands and let his head drop. Damn it! They really had done it! He still couldn’t get over that fact. It was one thing imagining it to happen, but it was a whole different thing actually doing it. He was so agitated, he didn’t know how to deal with all these feelings.

The memory of Gintoki groaning under him was still hard to swallow and he felt his erection returning. God, he had been hot. Even in his wildest dreams, he would have never guessed this guy would be such a passionate bottom. It was fucking sexy. It had turned him into a shaking mess. And on top of that calling him _Toushirou_. Damn it! He told himself to be cool.

In all the time he had been away, Hijikata had thought about their reunion dozens of times. He had always imagined Gintoki being bottom, so he was glad he had agreed to that. But even in his nightly fantasies, this guy hadn’t been _that_ outgoing. Being so impatient, so demanding, begging him to go faster… it was more than his gentle heart could bear. The thought made his nose bloody again and he was ashamed of that. God damn it!

Hastily, he scrubbed his body clean and rubbed shampoo into his hair. He would never admit that he had been doing all kinds of research while he had been away. It was still embarrassing for him, but he wanted to do things right with him. He couldn't stand the idea of hurting Gintoki or himself. So, he had used every free minute to read. Articles, books, websites, everything that could help him get the hang of it. It hadn’t been often, he had had this kind of chance. He was still paranoid about Sougo and if that guy would have found out what he was doing… heavens forbid.

While the shampoo was pouring downwards and was sucked in by the drain, Hijikata tried to calm down. He was so nervous now. What was going to happen next? Were they like… a couple now? Should he talk about that? Shouldn’t he? Was Gintoki happy? Was this just a one-night-stand? Urgh, he didn’t know anymore.

It took a lot of courage to finally get out of the bath again. He was wearing a plain blue Yukata now and had a towel wrapped around his neck to prevent his dripping hair from drenching the clothes. When he looked towards the bed, he saw the silver-haired man waiting with a cheeky grin glued to his lips. Naked. Hijikata closed his eyes and blushed but came closer either way. Honestly, this bastard had no shame whatsoever.

“Well, hello there~!”

“You’re begging to catch a cold.” Was the only thing the cop replied as he sat down next to him, trying not to stare too much.

“Ah, don’t be like that, Hijikata-kun!” Gin chuckled. “You wanna tell me you dislike this view?”

Lowly grumbling, he ignored him and got under the covers instead. “No. Just that you’re an idiot.”

“Maybe I am.” He chortled and the next thing he knew, Gin was cuddling up to him, slipping under his sheets. “But then again, you like me that way.”

Hijikata’s heart skipped a beat and he reddened even more, looking away. “Don’t recall, I ever said that.”

“Maybe you didn’t…” the silver-haired man snuggled up to his chest and kissed his throat. “…but it’s true anyway.”

“Tsk…” This guy really had no shame. Clinging to him like that... damn it. His arms twitched a bit, but after a few moments, he was finally able to bent it enough so he could wrap his arm around his back. He pushed him against his torso and closed his eyes in protest.

Gin snickered dirtily and placed another kiss on his chest. He felt so warm and comfortable, he couldn’t believe it.

“Struggle all you want, Oogushi-kun… I know it’s true.”

“Shut up.” He growled and was thankful, though still suspicious when he actually did. Gintoki’s head lay comfortably on his chest and his hair was still a bit wet. He smelled nice and his body heat and closeness made Hijikata feel a bit queasy. He wondered if this guy could feel his tumbling pulse. He wondered if he realized how nervous he still was. The officer wanted to caress him, to let his fingers run through his hair, but ultimately he was too shy. He wasn’t good at showing affection. He was a real klutz when it came to that.

Hijikata wasted a few minutes pondering, another few until he found the courage to speak his mind. He needed to make sure, he needed the answer. Were they dating now? Or not? What was this guy thinking? He needed to know!

“…S-so… Gin… Gintoki…” he whispered, his voice shaking. “...are we… like…”

He waited for a sign, _anything_. Like a sleepy “hmm?” or even a thorny comment. Anything to make sure he was listening. But nothing came and when Hijikata tried to check, he realized Gin’s breath was quite calm. In fact, it seemed, he had fallen asleep. Befuddled, the man looked down and susurrated.

“…Gintoki?”

When he still got no reply, he knew he was sleeping for good. He felt really stupid now. His face flushed, he tightened the grip around him and stroked his cheek. Damn this guy. He really was something. Snoring off like that.

He would give him an earful when he woke up again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Could you guess who's going to be top? Tell me in the comments if you were right~


	4. The smoke incident. When people smell cigarettes, they know something's up, or: Shipping wars will get you nowhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do anime characters ship characters from their own series? You're about to find out.

## The smoke incident. When people smell cigarettes, they know something´s up, or

## Shipping wars will get you nowhere

 

“Your mother’s an *****!!!”

Shinpachi was singing from the bottom of his heart while swinging the duster through the room. He was cleaning the Yorozuya’s office again because they were going to have a big party tonight. It was a surprise party for Gin-san and frankly, he was quite excited. It was just a few friends; their apartment wasn’t big enough for that many people after all. He had already dusted the cupboards, washed the dishes and cleaned the bathroom. Kagura was walking Sadaharu, for once. She was also supposed to pick up a cake, but he didn’t trust her enough. So he had brought a small cake as well, stored it in the fridge and put a lock on it. In any case.

The young boy with the glasses was in a good mood; he was genuinely looking forward to tonight. Only a few hours and this place would be bustling. He was excited to see all of them again and about Gin-san’s face when they would surprise him. Gin said he would return in the evening. He was probably in a Pachinko parlor again. Happily, he was singing along to Otsu-chan’s best of album and put the duster back into the closet. Next was washing.

Shinpachi collected the dirty clothes from all over the flat when he heard someone coming in. A few seconds later, Kagura yelled from the entrance. “I’m back!”

“Welcome back!” Shinpachi chimed and walked into the living room as well. Sadaharu was greeting him by brushing its head against his arm and barking. The red-headed alien girl followed a moment later. She had a white package in her hands, presumably the cake. Shinpachi smiled. Wow, he was proud of her. “Thanks, Kagura-chan!”

She yawned a half-assed reply, still a bit tired and put the thing on the table.

As Shinpachi turned around to do the laundry, Sadaharu was suddenly in the way. He sniffed the clothes and whined, shaking its head. The glasses boy laughed nervously. “What? Does it smell? That’s why I’m washing it.”

“He probably just smells Gin-chan’s dirty underwear.” Kagura chewed on a strip of sukonbu, unfazed.

“Probably.” But the big, white dog kept sniffing it and howled like he was trying to tell them something. Shinpachi tilted his head. “What is it, Sadaharu? What do you smell?” As he got another bark in reply, he reluctantly sniffed on it, too. And suddenly, he could smell it as well.

“Eh?”

“What is it, megane?” The alien girl stared at him with a blank, disinterested expression. “You’re into sniffing someone’s underwear? Really, you’re disgusting.”

“N-no!” he protested fiercely, his head red. He grabbed one of Gin’s white kimonos and held it up. “But-but it reeks of…”

“Of what?” she shivered, her glare horror-struck. “Urgh, on second thought, I really don’t wanna know…”

“Grah! It reeks of cigarettes, damn it!” he screamed, completely embarrassed now.

“Cigarettes?” Suddenly, Kagura looked honestly surprised.

“Yes… cigarettes.” The teenage boy repeated and gulped. He stared down at the clothes in his hands and felt the atmosphere around them grow cold. He checked the other parts and literally all of Gin’s clothes reeked of tobacco. For a long moment, both stared at the clothes in an uncomfortable silence. Then, Shinpachi smirked frantically.

 “…He has been out late-nights often lately, hasn’t he…?”

Kagura had an anxious expression on her face. “ _So_? What do you want to imply?”

“…Gin-san obviously has spent some time in a place where people smoke a lot… or with a person, who smokes.”

“Wait? What does that mean?” Kagura asked uneasily as well as appalled by the implication. “You think Gin-chan is turning into a mafia boss? You think he’s into some shady gambling business? He’s not that kind of guy!”

“Well…” the glasses character still smiled, his mouth twitching. “…staying late… sometimes returning only in the morning… It’s either that or he… he may have… may have… met with a lover.”

The three Yorozuya stared at the clothes and froze. The conclusion was hard to swallow. The air between them was thick and none of them dared to breathe. Re-really? Could that be it?

“AHHH!!!” All of the sudden, Kagura began to scream. She jumped up and threw her hands in the air, yelling at Shinpachi who promptly flung the clothes away in response. “That’s no joking matter, Shinpachi! Don’t say something like that! Does he really have a lover? Does he?”

Freaking out, his eyeballs squeezing out of their sockets, Shinpachi cried as well and tore at his hair. “Ah! How would I know!  But when his clothes suddenly start reeking of tobacco, it might be!”

Shrieking, the teenagers ran through the apartment and went bananas. In panic, Kagura was taking the clothes and buried them in the washing machine, throwing the whole pack of washing powder in and started kicking it.

“There! If there’s no evidence, then it never happened! It never happened! Gin isn’t seeing anyone! No! He isn’t!”

“Kagura-chaaan!” the teenager shrieked and tried restraining her before she would trash the machine. “C-c-c-c-calm down, will you? W-w-w-w-we don’t know for sure! I-i-i-i-it could mean anything!”

“Ahhh, let me go! We have to destroy it! Destroy it!”

As Sadaharu joined in, howling loudly, the chaos was complete.

An ear-piercing scream broke through the breaking dawn.

 

A few minutes later, the washing machine was demolished and the three Yorozuya members sat silently on the couch and stared into nothingness. Both Shinpachi’s and Kagura’s heads were flushed and their eyes and heads spinning. They were a nervous mess. Sadaharu was equally depressed and wailed lowly.

The oldest of them looked like he had a broom shoved up his ass. His back was straight and his hands coyly stashed in his lap. He trembled but tried to go about it as calmly as he possibly could. “…So… let’s think this through… there has to be a logical explanation…”

“What kind of logical explanation is there?” Kagura shivered as if she had been struck by lightning. “He won’t come home and when he does, it’s the next day and his clothes reek of cigarettes. There’s only one explanation.”

“B-b-but! He would have told us, wouldn’t he? I-if he had a girlfriend.”

“Maybe he’s too ashamed…” Kagura’s eyes went red because she forgot to blink. “…or maybe it’s because… because she’s a prostitute.”

“N-n-n-n-no way!” Shinpachi resolutely shook his head. “You know Gin-san! He wouldn’t! He-he’s not that kind of guy!”

“So why hasn’t he told us yet?!” She squealed.

“M-maybe i-it’s because…” The glasses boy paused and gulped.

But Kagura caught his drift. The next second they were staring into each other’s eyes, incredulously. “…it’s… someone we know…“

For another long minute, they anxiously glared at each other. Then, the hysterical roaring began anew.

Kagura tore her hair and scratched her cheeks. “Ahhh! That can’t be true!”

“C-calm down already!” Shinpachi shouted and shook his head. “T-there’s no need to freak out! L-let us just think this through logically! I-if he hasn’t told us, then maybe… we’re not supposed to know!”

“Like hell I care!” The alien girl roared and stomped on the table. “If Gin-chan is meeting with some kind of shady woman, I wanna know! I have to know! That’s too big of a secret! How am I supposed to keep quiet about that?”

“J-j-just pipe down a bit!” He tried to persuade her with a gesture of his hands.

“Ahhh! I caaaan’t!”

“Sorry for intruding!” a soft voice chimed from the entrance and cut like a lightning strike through the two teenagers. Panicking, they stared at the entrance and hissed at each other to shut up. They ended up kicking and shoving each other. It was not until their guest stepped into the living room that they sat on the couch again, pretending nothing had happened. The black aura around their heads, however, made it plain clear that something was up.

 

“Well, well… what’s wrong with you two?” It was Otae who entered, a smile on her lips and a bag of groceries in her hand. “Why so gloomy?”

Surprised, Shinpachi stared at her. “S-sis!”

Kagura sniffed and couldn’t suppress tears. The next minute, she stormed towards her and fell into her arms. “Boss lady! It’s horrible!”

“Ah? Is something wrong?” The brunette girl instantly hugged her and stroked her hair comfortingly.

“…I-it’s about Gin-chaaan!” she whined and buried her head in her chest.

“What about him? Tell me what’s wrong.” The cabaret girl replied softly and pushed Kagura away, a concerned expression on her face.

“Well…” Her brother scratched his head, forcing a smile.

“Gin-chan has a girlfriend, he won’t tell us about!” the girl squealed.

“A girlfriend?” For a moment, she seemed genuinely surprised. “…How would you get this kind of impression?”

“His clothes reek of tobacco…” Shinpachi confessed, still haunted by the idea.

“Oh, really?” She pondered and then stroked Kagura’s head a last time before she sat down on the couch. “So, who do you think it is?”

“We don’t knooow!” The girl in the Chinese outfit wined and sat next to her. “And it’s driving us crazy! Do you know something, do you? Do you?”

“Not really, no.” Otae smiled. “But it shouldn’t be that hard to figure it out, should it? Who do we know who’s smoking?”

All of the sudden, Kagura gasped and her face showed pure horror. Her voice squeaked. “What if it’s… OTOSE?!”

Shinpachi screeched at her. “Hell no! This is the first person popping into your mind? Of course, it’s not Otose-san! How could you even think that?”

“But she smokes!” The girl replied as if this would be proof enough.

“Like hell this is enough! She could be his mother after all!”

“Hmmm, so not Otose.” Otae tilted her head and tipped against her chin with her pointy finger, riddling. She seemed awfully invested in this. But of course, she had a gossipy side after all. “Ah! What about Tsukki?”

Oh! Both Kagura and Shinpachi nodded and bumped their fists into their hands.

“That’s true! She is in love with him after all.”

“Hyaaa, when it’s Tsukki, I’m okay with it!” Kagura proclaimed proudly. “She’s the perfect match for Gin-chan!”

“Hahaha, maybe that’s true.” Shinpachi scratched his head, smiling. It helped him calm down, actually. “So it’s Tsukuyo-san. We should have thought about her first. She’s an attractive lady after all. And she lives in Yoshiwara, so of course, he wouldn’t tell us. Wah, that’s a relief.”

 “Right?” His sister grinned happily. “They make a cute couple, don’t they? In that case, I’m happy for them!”

“ _Hoooyaaa_!” Kagura was all fired up now. “Does that mean Tsukki is now my new mother? Awesome!”

“Hold it right there!” All of the sudden, a shrill voice penetrated the air and the next moment something jumped off the ceiling. The four watched as a woman with lilac hair and glasses landed next to them and stared at them furiously. She had three cigarettes stuffed into her mouth and lighted them gracefully. “Weren’t you a little too fast? As a matter of fact, _I_ started smoking a few weeks back! So if anyone’s gonna be your new mother, it’s gonna be me! Me!”

Their faces went blank and annoyed. They really had nothing to say to that.

That made the kunoichi angry and she yelled at them. “What?! You don’t believe me?! Grr, youuu! First, you don’t invite me to his surprise party and now this! It’s as I said! I’m Gin-san’s new lover! It's me!”

“Really?” Otae was pissed off by her, as usual. “And why would you suddenly start smoking, I wonder?”

“I-it’s because….” She hesitated and closed her eyes, taking a drag. “Because I wanted to change my style a bit! What’s there to-“ Instantly, she started coughing as she chocked on the cigarette smoke. Her eyes were popping out and she was wheezing, toppling over.

The three people at the table just stared at her in annoyed silence and then started ignoring her altogether. Shinpachi scratched his neck and smiled. “So the mystery is solved. We were idiots for worrying about something like that. Though, I really don’t understand why he wouldn’t tell us. He knows we like Tsukuyo-san. Why would he keep that a secret?”

“Keeping what a secret?” A deep, monotone voice sounded.

 

As they looked to the entrance, they could see two men standing there, each holding small bags of sweets in their hands. One of them had long, dark hair and wore a blue kimono with a white hakama, the other had sunglasses and a long dark-red cloak wrapped around his shoulders. And of course, Elizabeth was also next to them.

The young boy couldn’t hide his surprise. “Katsura-san! Sakamoto-san! I didn’t hear you come in. You’re early!”

The joui patriot stepped dramatically over the still chocking kunoichi as he came towards them and sat next to them on the couch. “A real hero never comes late. By the way, I figured you might need help.”

“That’s very thoughtful of you!” the boy smiled and moved in so they could sit down. “Thanks!”

“So what are you talking about?” the elegant man asked while crossing his arms.

“We found Gin-chan’s clothes and they reek of cigarettes. So we are thinking he might have a lover or something like that!” Kagura rounded it up and chewed on a new piece of sukonbu. Her face was relaxed. She seemed to be quite satisfied. “Though the mystery is solved already. It has to be Tsukki!”

“Reeking of cigarettes?” Katsura tilted his head.

“Kin-san having a lover?” Sakamoto weighed in and scratched his chin.

They then shared a look and nodded. “Yeah, it has to be _him_.”

“Him?” Otae eyed them. “What are you talking about?”

Dramatically, the joui patriot closed his eyes and nodded to himself. “Well, if we’re talking about a smoking lover, then the answer is obvious. They have a long history after all.”

“Who are you talking about?” Shinpachi asked politely and yet very curiously. All of them were staring at the two men and even Sarutobi had ascended from the dead to join it. There was a long moment of silence.

Then, they nodded again and Katsura gave them a passionate look. “It has to be Takasugi. No doubt about it.”

“ _Whhaaaaat_?” the echo sounded rowdily. The ninja was most appalled by that thought and pointed her finger at them in rage.

“What are you two implying? Gin-san is no *****! He loves ***** and not *****, that should be plain obvious!”

“Yeah!” Kagura yelled. “It’s Tsukki! End of discussion!”

“Grr, it’s not Tsukki! Why are you saying that all of the time?! Are you some kind of TsukkixGin shipper?!”

“A what? What did you just call me? Is this some kind of insult? Do you want me to cave your skull in, haaa?”

“ _Haaa_! Come and get it! For Gin-san I will fight to death!”

“Shut it and let them speak!” Shinpachi demanded, yet a little frightened. “Why would you think it’s Takasugi-san, Katsura-san, Sakamoto-san? I mean… aren’t they like…”

Katsura nodded again, theatrically. “That’s true. Gintoki and Takasugi had their difficulties and they were rivals for the most part. But that’s just how they roll.”

“Ahahahahahahahahaha!” Sakamoto did his trademark laugh and scratched his chin again. “That’s true. Even back then, they were close. Every time, there was such an eminent subtext. Do you remember the time we fought on the planet of the Yato? Kin-san said Takasugi should fuck himself. But it was plain obvious that he wanted to fuck Takasugi. So that’s what I translated. Even though I got hit by him. Well, he is shy after all.”

Shinpachi looked fed up and not very convinced. ”Pardon me, but… that doesn’t sound right. I mean… Gin-san obviously likes women.”

“Does he?” Sakamoto laughed again. “Well, back then he didn’t. Not exclusively at least. He was pretty popular with the men in our squats.”

Katsura nodded. “Hm-hm. That’s true.”

“What do you want to imply? That Gin-san was some kind of whore?” Sarutobi shrieked and fumed.

Kagura hit her with her bare fist, angry. “Zip it or I’ll waste your ass! Gin-chan is no whore!”

“Why do you care anyway?” Otae gave the woman with the lilac hair a sharp, dark look. “Didn’t you say _you_ were his new lover?”

“Gah!” Sarutobi gasped and started bellowing at her. “I _will_ be, just wait and see! Don’t give me that smug face, bitch! But if my precious Gin-san is smelling of cigarettes right now, I _have to_ know! I need to know what he’s doing and who he’s doing! Ahhhh!”

The glasses boy tried ignoring the battering women and eyeballed the two men instead. “But honestly now… I can’t imagine Gin-san being… well, you know… He loves women. Why would he be interested in men?”

“Haaa…” Katsura sighed dramatically and shook his head. “Can you believe them, Tatsuma? Such ignorance. The youth these days is plainly ill-informed.”

“Hahahahahahahahahaha!” Was Tatsuma’s only vacant answer.

“ _For realz_!” The _cute_ pet wrote on a board.

Shinpachi’s eye twitched. Why was he being insulted like that? Did he deserve that? Did he really?

 

Then, the joui patriot closed his eyes again and nodded his head, his arms still crossed. The gesture was melodramatically, as per usual. “You younglings probably don’t remember… but before the Amanto ravaged our country, things were pretty different. Back then and even in the war, men loving men… it was nothing deviant. People did it all the time. Only when the Amanto prevailed and changed our society, this kinda thing developed into a taboo. So, you guys are probably too young to remember. But back when we were young, this was pretty standard procedure. Really, you should read some books for a change. It is improper to not know something like this!*”

Now, a big throbbing vain emblazoned on Shinpachi’s forehead and he mumbled. “Why are you acting like a teacher all of the sudden? You’re not even thirty. Really starting to piss me off…”

Otae tilted her head and seemed deep in thought. “So Gin-san is really that kind of guy? Funny, I always thought way too many gay jokes were made on his account. So these were actually true?”

“Nothing is true!” Kagura continued to protest violently. “Gin-chan is not a homo!”

“Yeah!” Sarutobi joined in, shaking her fist. “So stop spouting such nonsense!”

But the two veterans didn’t seem to listen. They were facing each other now, ignoring the rest.

Tatsuma eyeballed his friend from behind his sunglasses. “But isn’t Takasugi back in space?”

Katsura shook his head. “No, I saw him in town recently. Surely, he’s here for Gintoki.”

“ _I think they’re banging right now_.” Elizabeth “said”.

“Hyaa…” Sakamoto Tatsuma chuckled. “I’m so glad these two finally made up. I always enjoyed them together back then. They really are a perfect match, don’t you think?”

“Un!” Now, the long-haired man grinned. “They sure are. Though, I really wonder who’s gonna be top and who’s bottom.”

 “Well, Takasugi is a tough guy and apart from being little, he´s a vicious character. There´s no way he´d be bottom.”

“What?” Katsura exhaled shocked. “You´ve got it all wrong! Gintoki is a proud samurai, he would never!”

“Hahahahahahahahahahaha, you know he has a kink and also, Takasugi’s d*ck is-“

“WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT!” In a team effort, the four others kicked them off the couch and drilled their heads into the wall until the blood starting splashing.

Kagura shivered and seemed disgusted. She spat on them. “One more word and you’re dead, ya hear me?”

 

“Sorry for the intrusion!” someone yelled at the door and everyone looked at them. It was an odd sight. Tama was there, standing next to Hasegawa, taking a quick bow before them.

“Sorry, everyone… I wanted to bring out the trash, but this one was hard to get rid off.”

The homeless man began crying. “I’m trash? Really, trash? Why is everyone always picking on me?! I just wanted to surprise Gin-san at his party! You are so rude!”

“You just wanted free food and drinks and a place to crash on!” Kagura yelled. “Get out, damn _Madao_!”

“What? That’s… only partly true! I’m one of Gin-san’s best friends! I’m his favorite drinking buddy! You know we’re good friends! Besides, I even got him a gift!” He showed them a bottle of sake.

“More like shoplifted it!”

“Is there any way you guys could be more hurtful?!” Hasegawa wined.

“Ah!” All of the sudden, Otae jumped up and pointed at the homeless man. “It’s you, isn’t it?!”

“Ehhh?!” all of them joined in in the unbelieving chorus, even Hasegawa himself.

Then, the cabaret girl stared at them. “Hear me out! This cockroach _smokes_ and he and Gin-san have a long history of drinking together! They’ve been in bed together, as well!* Just picture it! It’s not completely off!”

“ _She has a point_.” Elizabeth showed on a paperboard.

Kagura reeled and held her mouth. “I… rather not picture it.”

“This is just a mess…” Shinpachi mumbled under his breath, not being able to cope with this much bullshit.

Then, finally, Hasegawa understood and laughed, waved it aside. “What? Me and Gin-san? No! It was only this one episode. We’re just drinking buddies! It’s true though, he recently stopped going out drinking with me. And besides, I’m married!”

“Of course it’s not this cockroach! We told you! It’s Takasugi’s c*ck!”

“I’m a cockroach? Really? This joke is so old, why are you still torturing me like that?”

“ _’Cause you are a cockroach_.”

“Are you talking about Gintoki-sama’s lover?” Tama weighed in and tilted her head. “If you wonder, it’s Hijikata-san.”

But no one paid attention to her. They were knee-deep in their shipping wars. Kagura stomped her foot on the table while shaking her fist at Katsura and Sakamoto.

“Enough with this Takasugi crap! Gin-san is never going to be in love with some psycho like him! I won’t allow it! Never!”

Katsura looked down at her, challenged but nevertheless adamant about his choice. “I deeply respect you, _leader_ , but in this case you’re wrong! I’ve known Gintoki the longest here and I can assure you, if it’s anyone, it's him!”

“Take that back! If Gin-san is going to be with anyone, it will be me! Because I loved him the longest! This smoking thing is just our cover-up, but congrats! You blew it! I’m Gin’s new lover!”

“You’re just a damn stalker-bitch! So shut up!” Otae yelled, honestly pissed off now.

“I said…” Tama reiterated, slowly. “…it’s Hijikata-san. I know it for a fact.”

“It’s Tsukki! End of discussion!”

“How the hell can it be Tsukki! You have no proof whatsoever!”

The red-haired girl pranced and pouted. “Have you even _seen_ Gintama?! They are basically a couple already! They had so many arcs together and in every single one of them, their romantic feelings towards each other were implied! She’s the obvious choice! Why are we even discussing this!?”

“You’re wrong, _leader_ , it’s Takasugi!”

“Hahahahahahahahahahaha, I totally agree!”

“Shut it, you damn yaoi shippers!”

“Woof!”

“ _Maybe, it’s the cockroach after all_.” Elizabeth pondered.

“Why is the only one shipping me with Gin-san a creepy pet?!”

“And why am I the only one shipping myself with Gin-san! Are you that cruel? Are you saying I’m not pretty? I’m not the best choice for his d*ck?! Aren’t there any Sa-chanxGin shippers out there?!”

“QUIIIEEEETTT!!!” Shinpachi yelled ear-shatteringly and stood up.

 

He managed to get everyone to shut up and look at him. He was pissed off and trying to be reasonable. He pushed back his glasses with his eyes closed. His voice was shaking with authority. “Whether it’s the one or the other doesn’t matter! Why are we even fighting about this?! If Gin-san really has a lover, it’s no one’s business. He will decide whom he likes and we’ll just have to deal with it! These shipping wars are bringing us nothing but hate! They’re pitting us against each other! If you have preferences as to who Gin-san should end up with, that’s fine! We should respect each other’s preferences! So let’s end this stupid discussion and prepare his surprise party! That’s why we’re here in the first place, aren’t we?!”

All of the characters were quiet now, staring down at their feet with a guilty expression. Shinpachi was proud of himself and nodded, sending his authority through the room with a strong-willed expression. “Besides, there is no way we can actually find it out, so let’s just drop it!”

They exchanged looks.

A short silence prevailed.

And then they nodded at each other.

As for the next second, everyone was jumping off their seats and running around the apartment wildly. Kagura and Katsura were ripping the drawers of his desk open and throwing everything around, Otae and Sarutobi started ravaging Gin’s closet and Tatsuma was busy using some kind of alien device to scan the surroundings. All of them were screaming at each other, trying to be the first to find proof of their theories. Only Elizabeth sat on the sofa and stared at him with a blank expression and a cardboard saying “ _Well, that worked out just fine_.”

Shinpachi stared at the scene helplessly. In the blink of an eye, the whole room had turned into a mess, underwear, and chocolate and insults flying around like shrapnel. Everyone was all over the place and scrabbling about. He had failed as their leader. And the worst thing about it… was that he wanted to join them!

The glasses boy had just opened his mouth to scream in frustration, as a clatter made him cringe. It was the sound of a door being pulled open and a familiar voice yelling monotonously. “I’m home!”

SHIT!

Frightened, Shinpachi turned around to them and starting waving and mouthing, whispering. “It’s Gin-san! He’s home already! Wah! Everyone, quick! Scatter! Hide!”

And then panic broke loose, everyone running around and kicking and shoving all of the chaos back to where it belonged. The footsteps came closer and they could hear his deep voice.

“Hello? Someone there? Kagura? Shinpachi?”

As the fusuma to the living room opened, it was a miracle that everything looked exactly how it was supposed to. Two teenagers and a dog sat all proper and stiff on the sofa, slurping a cup of tea. The other horde of monsters they called friends were crammed into the living room closet and didn’t even blink. The air was tense and reeked of a trap.

Gintoki stared at them unbelievingly and scratched his head. He mumbled. “What’s wrong with you? Not even a _hello_? Not even a _welcome back_?  Really, show your elders some respect!”

“O-o-o-o-oh! Gin-san!” Shinpachi pretended he had just recognized him now. “You’re early! Welcome back!”

“Pah, now it’s too late!” He replied, miffed. “What’s going on here? Why are you sitting like you have broomsticks shoved up your asses?”

“We do not!” Kagura replied overly indignant. “You’re being way too suspicious!”

“Woof!” Sadaharu joined in, having sweat running down its fur.

The silver-haired man raised a brow but let it slide. Growling, he turned around and walked into the kitchen. “Yeah, whatever! I made a small win at Pachinko today. I bought some things for dinner. Maybe we can make Okonomiyaki. I bought the sauce, eggs, and mayonnaise.”

As he left the room, the three Yorozuya stared at each other in an attempt of telepathy. How were they supposed to get out of this situation? Damn it! They had to play it cool! Kagura was doing weird pantomime to tell the guys something but neither understood, so she started kicking Shinpachi for being such an idiot. He then hit her back and Sadaharu started snarling softly.

“Huh? Why is there a lock on the fridge?”

Damn it! He had totally forgotten about that! The cake was still in there! Hastily, Shinpachi cried out to him in the next room. “O-oh! Sorry! I-I did some experiment and i-it needed to cool down so I used it! Nobody should touch it! S-sorry! Can you just put them somewhere else?”

Another growl. “Damn it… I just wanted some strawberry milk…” Then they heard his footsteps coming closer again. He found the three Yorozuya just how he left them and it freaked him out. His face contorted as he walked towards them and slumped down on the couch. He scratched the inside of his ear and eyeballed them. “What the hell, you guys! What’s going on? Did something happen?”

“N-n-no! Of course not!” Shinpachi denied in cold sweat.

But Kagura couldn’t take it anymore. She had been holding her breath for the whole time now but it was impossible to hold all of this in. Her blue eyes burnt and she gawked at him fiercely. “Gin-chan! You like Tsukki, right?”

“Hah?” Unfazed, he stared at her. “Yeah, I guess? What about it?”

“So what are you doing late nights recently?”

“Kagura-chan!” Shinpachi tried persuading her.

But she didn’t move, glared at her guardian stubbornly. “Are you going to Yoshiwara?”

Some chocked noise came out of the closet but Gin didn’t seem to hear. He tilted his head and frowned instead, giving the alien girl a suspicious look. “Huh? What is this about? Why are you asking this all of the sudden?”

“So are you going or not?!”

“I don’t know what you’re getting at.” Gin replied, a little unsettled. “Why would I go to Yoshiwara?”

Shinpachi watched the man next to him grow nervous and his jaw dropped. Really? Was it really true, then?

“So what _are_ you doing recently?! Sometimes you don’t even come home at all!” She didn’t give in, her eyes drilling him, trying to detect any lie.

“Seriously, where is this coming from? Why am I being questioned like this?” He closed his eyes and seemed pissed. But the glasses boy could still feel his edginess.

“Why are you evading the question?!”

“Because I don’t know why you’re asking! You know I go out drinking or playing pachinko! What do you think I’m doing?!”

“Aha! And why do your clothes stink of tobacco then?!”

 

All of the sudden, Gintoki’s jaw dropped and he gulped. He had a strange, almost terrified look in his eyes and that made Shinpachi feel sorry all of the sudden. The boy started talking but was drowned out by the girl once more.

“No lying, Gin-chan! Do you have a lover or not?!”

“Kagura! That’s enough!” Shinpachi yelled now, sternly.

But when he looked back to his mentor to say something, he saw that his face was all flushed, blank and red as a tomato. The boy held his breath. Oh dear.

“Who is it?!” Kagura demanded and stomped on the table.

“ _Stop pushing_!!” The next second, the closet door broke off and a pair of idiots poured and tumbled out, piling up on the ground. Sarutobi, who was buried by all of them, squealed and screamed. “I can’t take this anymore! Just tell us! Tell us!”

“Damn it! You ruined everything!”

“Because you ripped one!”

“I did not!”

“You were shoving too much!”

“Only because you grabbed my ass!”

Gintoki had jumped up and stared at them in utter disbelieve. His cheeks were still reddish and when all of their gazes met him, he couldn’t take it anymore. His face was growing pale and he tumbled a few steps backwards.

“…I… what… no… I mean…”

Perplexed, all of them gawked at him. He could feel their glares peeling off his skin, seeing things they were not supposed to see. He knew he didn't have anywhere left to hide. He knew it was over. A hard gulp corded up his throat. He couldn´t breathe. His head started shaking and his alarm bells went off inside of him. And all of the sudden, he completely blanked. Panicked, he turned around and fled in terror.

They were left behind in silence.

The only one moving was Elizabeth, holding up a sign that said one thing only.

“ _Surprise_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *That’s true. Homosexuality among men was pretty institutionalized in the Edo period! You can read more here: http://www.tofugu.com/japan/gay-samurai/
> 
> *Otae refers to the ”Scandal” arc when Gin drank too much and nailed a few “chicks”. Anime 239-240; Manga 336-339.


	5. Cinnamon buns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hijikata and Gintoki got into trouble <3

## Cinnamon buns

 

“Ahh! What a nice evening!” Yamazaki stretched and exhaled happily, patrolling the street. The sun was setting on the horizon and its reddish-golden rays were warm. He felt a cold breeze tingling his cheeks and heard the cascades chirping afar. It was a perfect evening. Everything was calm, peaceful, and just the way it was supposed to be. Not even the bitter, disgusting smell of his Vice Commander’s cigarette creeping inside his nose was able to sour this. Yamazaki was as relaxed as he hadn’t been for a long time.

He shot a glance to his brother-in-arms and smiled. Hijikata Toushiro still was his usual stiff and grumpy self but he also appeared relatively lenient since they had returned to Edo. Seems like he had come to terms with whatever had been troubling him all this time. One might even say he had been in a good mood for some time now. Yamazaki wondered what could be the reason for that but he didn’t pry. He was just happy everything was normal again.

He eyed the Commander marching next to him for a second before he looked away again. They were patrolling the Kabuki-chō region and recently a new ice cream shop had opened. He wondered if he could convince the grumpy officer to get one cone with him. Well, nothing ventured, nothing gained, they say. So he put on his most innocent smile and turned around, scratching his head. He couldn’t feel the approaching shadow running towards them, though.

“Vice-Chief! It’s so hot, let’s try this new shop over there! Maybe they have mayo-flavored ice-cream as well!”

When he opened his eyes, he couldn’t spy Hijikata anywhere. The only thing left of him was dust whirling off the spot he stood. For a second there, he could have sworn he saw a head of silver-haired locks. The Shinsengumi spy tilted his head, confused.

“Danna?”

 

~  ~  ~

 

“Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow! Damn it!” a very ill-tempered Shinsengumi officer growled while being dragged through a backstreet by his collar. He hadn’t even realized the shadow jumping at him out of nowhere, snatching him away from the busy street. His first impulse was to draw his sword but as he smelled a familiar scent and saw a well-known strand of silver locks, he let go of the hilt. Instead, he grabbed for the fingers dug into his collar and tried to yank free. “What the hell! Let go, you’re strangling me!”

Instantly, the man in the white kimono with the blue swirls did as he was told but clutched his wrist the next second, pulling him further along. Baffled, Hijikata stared at him, but couldn’t see his face. He only saw the back of Gin’s head. His pace was ridiculously fast and the force with which he tugged at him was taken him aback. What was going on? Why was he acting like this?

Hijikata didn’t fight the embrace of his fingers but he couldn’t hold back his tongue. “Yorozuya, what’s wrong?”

“Just come with me!” was the only, dry reply. His words sounded throaty and strained and seemed to tremble. He was simply continuing to run, with no sign of stopping whatsoever. 

The officer didn’t know what was happening but he knew it had to be serious. Or else Gin wouldn’t have done this. So, begrudgingly, he followed. His heart was accelerating and he was getting nervous, though. He gulped and nudged his fingers for a second. “Alright, alright. I’ll come with you. So let go of me already.”

He did but still didn’t turn around. He was worried, Hijikata realized. And all of the sudden, he was freaking out a little as well. Oh God, what in the world had happened?

 

After a long run through the city, both men ended up under the shadow of pines in _rikugien_ park*. Gin seemed to know exactly where he wanted to go and after avoiding as many people as possible, they reached a distant teahouse near a small waterfall. A turtle was sitting on a big stone near the water and the cascades were annoyingly loud. The sun had already set and from the east, a subduing dark was creeping towards them. Inside the open pavilion of the teahouse, Gintoki sat down and hit his face behind his hands. His posture was smashed and a dark aura sizzled around him. His face was all red and flustered up. He seemed down in the dumps. Wary, Hijikata approached him, stared down at him and didn’t know what to say. He had never seen this guy _this_ messed up. Something must’ve really gone wrong.

He didn’t know how to deal with that. Suspicious, he glanced around but no one was in sight. He didn’t sense any immediate danger, so he sat down next to him. In public, they needed to uphold a certain façade, so he didn’t come too close.

“So… will you tell me what’s up?”

Gin shook his head and buried his fingers in his hair, mortified. His voice was high-pitched and winey. “God… it’s horrible. Just horrible. I mean, maybe this was supposed to happen eventually but not like this! They completely caught me off guard! I didn’t know what to say! There was no way I could lie myself out of this! So what was I left to do? I panicked, okay? God, I ran away… this must be one of my lowest moments. This is way too embarrassing! How will I ever recover from that?! I can’t face them like this! Gah!”

Wow, this guy was really losing his shit. What the fuck?! Hijikata glanced at him without ostentation. He held back a sharp comment. “You’re not making any sense, you know? I have no idea what you’re talking about. Get yourself together, man.”

“Urgh!” the good-for-nothing samurai retched and his head fell even lower. He desponded. “…They’re onto us…”

“What?” The cop widened his eyes and stared at him.

“Yeah…” It was the first time he could see his face. It was red and fretful. “Chances are good the whole town will know soon. We’re busted… damn it.”

Hijikata didn’t know how to respond at all. For a few nervous seconds, he kept staring. Then, he averted his gaze and leaned over to prop his elbows on his legs. Trying to collect his thoughts and battling his beating heart, he intertwined his fingers and frowned. Damn it.

A silence dropped on them as heavy as an avalanche of rocks. Gin was staring into another direction as well now, holding his head with one arm and laid the other on his upper leg. Their knees touched just as little bit and connected their rattling pulses in doing so. It was just about as much support as they could give each other in such a public place without revealing anything. But where would hiding get them now? It wouldn’t do them any good anymore, would it? Still, being at each other’s side was helping them cope with that. Even though neither of them had a clue what to do about it.

Both wanted to come out of the closet but that was just freaking hard. Things like that were really complicated. People say they’d be okay with it but as soon as someone they knew came out, things would change. It was always easy sprouting big words about acceptance but when they would be confronted with the real thing, it was tough. That was the world they lived in now. Hijikata could still remember the pre-Amanto times when things like that were pretty normal. No one had even batted an eye. But now, twenty years later? Things had changed a lot.

Not to mention Gin was the protagonist of an anime that was definitely _shōnen_ and nowhere near _shōnen-ai_. This kind of thing… just didn’t fit into a teen’s anime.

But, it couldn’t be helped. They fell in love with each other, after all. And they had been found out, it seemed. So they needed to figure out what to do next. It didn’t make them less scared, though. This was a big thing, after all.

At last, Hijikata found the courage to open his mouth. He was serious and lowered his eyelids. “Seems like there's only one way to go now.”

Gin bit his lip and clenched his fist.  Those were the words he had feared, the conclusion he had tried to avoid. They were going to end it, weren’t they? He didn’t want to.

“…Let’s… stop running. …Let’s just tell them already…”

 

Hijikata’s words were like a roundhouse kick. Completely taken aback, the silver-haired samurai stared at him. “What?” He was shocked. “…You serious?”

“Yeah…” he growled and tried not to blush. He didn’t look at him and rubbed his neck. “…Why not? …We can't keep it a secret forever, you know that. …It might be hard in the beginning… but they'll get used to it, won't they? …Or would you rather have us end it right here?”

Gin was flabbergasted. It took him a few seconds before he could react. Then, he growled and smacked him on the back of his head. “Idiot… of course not.”

Still, the Yorozuya was unsure, embarrassed. He couldn’t look at him. His blue eyes made him feel queasy. “So… you… really wanna do this? Tell everyone… we're a couple?”

“Don't make it sound so weird!”

“How is that weird? That is what it is, isn't it? …Aren't we a couple?”

Hijikata was flustered now. “…Do you think we are?”

“Oi, that's cheap! Don't return the question and answer it, assface!”

“Tsk, the only one having an assface is you!”

“You're evading the question! Are we or aren't we dating, _konnoyaro_?!”

“How would I know?!” the cop replied insecurely but stayed close to him.  “But… if you look at it that way… we might be.”

“Honestly…” Gin held his head and sighed. “This is a pain in the ass…”

The officer said nothing; only a low growl escaped his throat. His heart was beating relentlessly in his chest now.

Then, Gintoki hushed, his words more gentle. He was shifting around, unsettled.  “…Well… seems like we have to face it. …You're my boyfriend now… so…”

Oh God, that sounded so _weird_. Still, Hijikata liked the sound of it. Not that he would admit that, though. “I'm… your boyfriend?”

“Yeah, 'course you are.” Perplexed, Gin looked at him. “Or should I call you my _fuck buddy_ instead?”

“God, anything but that!”

“Really? Anything?” Gin chuckled. He just couldn’t refrain from teasing him. “So how about my _little demon_ , then? Oh, or _sweetheart_? Or my _slampiece?_ ”

“Shut up!”

But he wasn’t done, grinning now. “Oh, oh, oh! What about _my boy toy_? Or _the object of my erection_? My little, sweet _cinnamon bun_?”

“Will you let it go already!” He was annoyed, as per usual.

He would leave it at that. Gin eyed him, serious again. “Yeah, anyway… you really sure about this? Once we do this… there´s no turning back. Will you really be okay?”

Hijikata sighed and closed his eyes. “I guess…”

“No. No guessing. I need you to be sure.” He could feel Gin’s stern, piercing glare on his skin. “I mean… I can take the jokes, I'm used to it. But you're a straight character. And you have Okita torturing you. He _will_ make fun of you.”

Wow, this guy really was a mess. He could go from a freaking childish moron to a considerate adult in just the blink of an eye. He was still protecting him, wasn't he? Like he did when Kondou was about to be executed. Hijikata’s heart skipped a beat. Damn it, he was the cop. It was _his_ job to protect _him_. But, then again, it was just the kind of person this maniac was. And just being this kind of gentle man, he knew he had picked right. He knew he made the right decision. Hijikata closed his eyes and tried to act cool.

“It’ll be far more horrible if he found out on his own. Better don't give him the advantage.”

“Hijikata.” Gin turned to him and took his arm, so he would look at him. They were close and the man with the olive-brown hair could feel his heart in his boots. Beautiful red eyes were staring at him, lips pushed into a straight line, a stern face. He felt his defense weakening. “I'll ask you just one last time. _Are you sure_ you want me to tell them the truth?”

Yeah, he was sure. He hadn’t been _this_ sure, to be honest. He had sworn so, after all. That, when he was going for him, he would go for everything. All of the sudden, Hijikata grappled him and drew him into a kiss. It was just a short one but it didn’t fail to throw him off balance. For just a moment, he ran his fingertips through thick, silver locks and pressed himself against soft lips. It was ridiculous how edgy this alone made him, how hard it was to pull apart but he managed somehow and rested his forehead against his. As long as he was with him, he would bear the humiliation. It didn’t seem as hard with him by his side. Of course, this was another thing he would never admit out loud.

The good-for-nothing idiot hummed softly, approvingly, and grinned now. He leaned towards him, craving the closeness. “So that's your final answer, huh?”

“Don't get too cocky. I said you should tell them the truth, not tell the whole city.”

“Oh well, but you know me. I'm known all over the place. And things like that get around quick. Besides, I'm nailing the Vice Chief of the Shinsengumi. Let me brag a little.”

His cheeks turned red and he was puffing. “What is there to brag?”

“Oh, well… for starters, you're quite a handsome guy.”

“Tch.”

“Hahaha, don’t blush, Hijikata-kun!”

“Will you stop that already?! Keep your sadistic self in line, damn it! I’m being serious here!”

“Oh, but what do you expect me to do? I just can’t resist. You’re so lovely when you’re angry.”

“Don’t make me sound like a woman, bastard!”

“Then don’t act like one.”

“What did you just say?!”

“I said: _don’t act like one_. What’s with you? Are you deaf or something?”

“Want me to split your freaking head?”

“I’d rather let you split my legs, to be honest.”

“Do you know anything about tactfulness?”

“No?”

“God, I can’t believe I-“

 

Suddenly, they heard someone yelling in the distance. It was a loud, familiar voice.”Gin-chaaan!”

Instantly, both men grew tense and stared out of the small, round window facing the walking path. They could see a red-haired girl, an over-sized dog, and a pair of glasses walking towards them. Shit! They were screwed!

“Damn, what do we do now?” Gin wailed and bit his lip.

Hijikata, however, had already jumped up and turned his back towards him. “So, anyways… I’m taking my leave now.”

“ _What_?!” he hissed and clutched his jacket, preventing him from fleeing. His voice was damped but shrieking annoyingly. “ _Oiii_ , you damn traitor! You gonna run?! Don't leave me to die here! It's your responsibility, too! You had such a big mouth, and now you're all talk!”

“Gah, let go of me, sugar freak!”

“Not in a thousand years! If I’m going down, _you’re_ coming with me!”

“I barely know them! How weird would it be if a stranger would be present at such an important talk! Plus, _you_ were the one talking big, not me!”

“You really wanna tuck your tail and run?! What kind of cop are you!”

“A better one than you, at least!”

“That doesn’t make any seeense! You’re freaking out!”

“So are you, bastard!”

Suddenly, a big furry hairball was jumping into the teahouse and started barking. Sadaharu had spotted them. Now they were really screwed! They heard their footsteps approaching. _Damn it at all!_

“Gin-san?” it was the soft voice of Shinpachi whose head peaked around the corner to look inside. Sadaharu was sitting at the entrance, guarding it or so it seemed. His tail was rocking softly to either side and his tongue was hanging out of his snout. He found Gin standing in the corner, looking at him with a reserved expression. A few meters next to him, Hijikata stood and lighted himself a cigarette. He didn’t look in their direction, obviously pretending to be here on pure coincidence. The young boy was a little confused but his gaze wandered back to his mentor. Said man was pouting and scratching his neck a little.

“Here you are!” Kagura twisted her mouth. “We’ve searched for you everywhere. Don’t run off like that!”

“S-sorry…”

Shinpachi was getting a good grasp of the situation and he knew what it meant. In contrast to a certain alien girl, however, who couldn’t get a clue. “Honestly, what is wrong with you?! You’re acting all strange!”

“Leave it be, Kagura-chan.” The teenager told her in a soft voice and turned to her guardian instead. He smiled reassuringly and tried to relax the situation. “We’re sorry, Gin-san. We shouldn’t have pried. This is your business and… you can tell us, whenever you want to talk about it. We have been acting stupid, please forgive us.”

Kagura wanted to complain but Shin shot her a very clear look, so she shut up.

The air was very tense and the only audible sound was Sadaharu’s loud panting. Gin had his eyes closed and was scratching his chin, visibly blushing. “No… I was being stupid. Sorry for running out on you like that.”

“No problem.” Shinpachi grinned and with this, the whole matter was water under the bridge. At least for him. “So, how about we get back home? Everyone is waiting.”

“…No.” the silver-haired man answered coyly. He had a hard time, obviously. But he pressured himself to say it out loud, anyway. “…I need to tell you guys something first.”

All three members of the Yorozuya were taken aback by this answer. They were staring at each other in confusion and back to him in silent anticipation. Their leader seemed awfully bashful.

“…So… a-about your… your question before…”

Shin was stopping him right there, scratching his head apologetically.  “I-it’s okay, you don’t have to answer, Gin-san! We were prying and it wasn't our place. It shouldn’t concern us. And we will wait. So please, don’t worry about it!”.

“Yeah… as long as you’re happy, we’re happy.” Kagura managed to say calmly. Truth be told, she still wanted to hear the answer. But she was also feeling bad about what she had done before.

“Thanks, guys…” Gin smiled at them, genuinely. His eyes wandered off to Hijikata, however, who still stood on the other side of the teahouse. It was hard but he sighed and gathered all his strength. “But… actually… I think it's time to tell you…”

Hijikata’s heart almost stopped at that. When Gin turned towards him, shooting him a pleading look, it did for real. The guy was red now, rattled and full of distress. He could see that. And he knew how he felt. He felt the same, after all. The fear that they would reject them.

“Truth is…” Gin eyed his three wards and gulped. “…I am… uhm… I am kinda seeing someone at the moment.”

Red eyes were staring into his direction and made him blank. It took balls to say that and Gin certainly had them.  “H-Hijikata-kun… could… you come here for a sec?”

Everyone stared at him and he stared back, completely dumbfounded. Guess, there was no way out of this, was there? His cheeks reddened. Fortunately, the night was already upon them so no one saw in the twilight. He cleared his throat and closed his eyes. As unfazed as possible, he walked towards him. When he reached his side, he stopped and faced the two teenagers and the dog with his head held high. He could see the surprise on their faces and he knew it dawned on them. He would have loved to hold his hand right now, to give him more support. But like this, he was only able to stand next to him and bear their reaction with him together. It was all he could do for him at this moment.

Gin’s head was tilted a bit and his eyes squinted. His face was completely red now and with a movement of his hand towards Hijikata, he closed his eyes.

“Yeah… we’re… kind of… together now.”

 

God, he really had said it!

As Hijikata stared into their startled faces, he felt like time had stopped. He could feel Gin’s uneasiness as well and how heavy the whole situation lay on all of their heads. He had never been so nervous before. This was killing him!

Kagura was the first to move. Her astonished face suddenly distorted into an unfazed, disenchanted mask. “…Really? Prince Mayo? You’re serious, Gin-chan?”

 “S…sorry to… disappoint you.” He whispered and it almost broke Hijikata’s heart. He was close to grabbing his hand for real. But before he could do that, Shinpachi smiled at them.

“There’s no need to be sorry.” He scratched the back of his head. It was obvious he didn’t know how to feel or what to say but he smirked anyway. “I mean, this is not what I expected at all, but… if that’s your decision… we will accept it. Right, Kagura-chan?”

“Meeeeh!” Her face was blank and lackadaisical. She didn’t seem particularly overjoyed. “And there I was really looking forward to Tsukki being my new mom.”

“What?” Surprised, Gin stared at her. “Tsukki?”

“Yeah.” she closed her eyes and crossed her arms behind her head. “I really thought you’re going out with Tsukki-chan. You two would have made a great couple.”

All of the sudden, Gin was really taken aback. So much, in fact, that, for about a second, he forgot the situation he was in. “Tsukuyo and me? Uh, now that I think about it… she is kinda cute and her body is smashing! You’re right, she _is_ a real hottie.”

The next second, a hand was almost splitting his head and Hijikata gave him a dark glance. “Will you cut that out, idiot?”

The samurai snorted at the cop but turned around to his friends either way. When he saw their unmoving faces, he gathered himself for a second and cleared his throat. He was serious again and also pretty insecure. “Well… maybe we would make a good couple. …But… truth be told…” His hand reached for Hijikata’s and they intertwined their fingers. “…right now… I really wanna be with this guy…”

 

The following silence was as thick as water and equally suffocating. Hijikata could feel Gintoki’s pulse through their touch. His own heart was giving him a hard time as well. He squeezed his hand a bit, almost unnoticeable to show him he was there for him. It was a strange sensation, holding hands. He liked it. Very, very much. Hijikata’s gaze was firm now as he faced the Yorozuya members. He didn’t want to hide anymore. It was time to show his true colors.

“Well, fine then.” Kagura exhaled dramatically and shook her head. “Actually, I couldn’t care less who you’re in love with. And if it’s Toshi, then so be it. But if you’re starting to reek of mayonnaise too, I will not allow it! The second-hand smoke is bad enough already!” Her face was stern and she was waving her finger in front of her nose. “Next time be honest with us from the start, Gin-chan!”

Shinpachi smiled now and looked at the men, too. “Kagura is right. You’re our precious friends, both of you. No matter what you do. And as long as you two are happy, we are as well.”

“That’s right!” The girl yelled and glared at Hijikata now. “Also, Toshi! If you break Gin-chan’s heart, I will break your bones! You hear me? That being said, if you want to be together with Gin-chan, you’re going to buy me a lot of presents! Understood?”

“Kagura-chan! Seriously!”

The officer was completely taken aback and didn’t know how to answer. But before he could even react, Gintoki’s hand was trembling and he stared at them, startled. “So… you guys… are okay with it?”

As Sadaharu barked once, the teenage boy smiled genuinely. “Of course we are. We love you and whoever you love.”

“Shinpachi… Kagura… Sadaharu…” Gin was gulping down tears and his face distorted of happiness. He was so relieved, so happy. And when he let go of Hijikata to hug them, a beautiful smile curled around his lips. “Thank you so much…”

Happily, they curled their arms around him as well and snuggled up to him. Even Sadaharu nuzzled their heads and howled cheerfully. The Shinsengumi officer watched them from afar and couldn’t resist a pleased smile. It took a load off his mind.

For a long moment, the Yorozuya cuddled like this and enjoyed each other’s company. Gintoki couldn’t refrain from patting their heads and messing with their hair. His smile was pure gold. “Thanks…”

Even Kagura beamed now and Shinpachi almost seemed proud. He looked at both men, invitingly. “Truth be told, we were planning a surprise party for Gin-san today. That’s why all of them were there to be begin with. What do you say? Let’s all go back together and have a party!”

“Yeaaah! I’m starving already!” A certain teenage girl complained.

“Oh, so that’s what all of this was about.” Gin said, normal again. “And I was really wondering what was going on.”

“Yeah, I even got you a cake! And I didn’t eat it!!!”

“Woah, there’s cake? Seriously?!” Gin was hooked already, obviously.

“Woof!” Sadaharu exclaimed and suddenly, the whole situation had changed. The thick air had given way to a very normal atmosphere. It was almost as if nothing had ever happened. Hijikata was glad about that but it also felt a little like a dream. It felt too good to be true.

“Hijikata-san, would like to join us?”

This question completely took him off guard. He stared into brown eyes hidden behind a metal frame. Shinpachi was smiling at him.

“But no smoking!” Kagura grouched.

Even Gin looked and suddenly, the focus was on him. Instantly, he blushed and didn’t know what to say. “Me? …Well… uhm…”

“No use hiding it anymore, is there?” the alien girl stared at him challengingly. “If you’re dating, then do it openly.”

“Uhm… actually…. to be honest, I’m… on a patrol right now…”

“Oh? Too bad, then. Then how about next time?” Shinpachi offered, considerate as always.

“…S-sure…”

“Alright, then let's get back! I’m starving!” Kagura complained without any further implication. She tugged at Gin for a moment and then stormed off, waving at them to hurry the hell up. The teenage boy shot Hijikata another look and nodded.

“Come by our house every time you like.”

“T-thanks.”

And with this, Shinpachi turned around and started walking as well, leaving the two men alone for a moment. Said men looked at each other equally bewildered and equally relieved. Gin smiled and it sent a tingling in his chest.

“Well then… we’ll see each other later?”

“U…un…” Hijikata nodded, still unable to process all of this.

His smirk almost blew off his face and he squinted at him in a gesture of affection. “I’ll be waiting.”

And so, he turned around and followed his family home. Hijikata was left in the twilight of the teahouse, staring. He gulped and still couldn’t stomach everything that had happened. Seems like… they really were a couple now, right?

Oh dear…

 

~ ~ ~

_Bonus chapter unlocked!_

 

They had talked it through. It made sense, in some way.

After Gin had told his family, there was no use hiding it anymore. Soon, a lot of people would know. So it was best to tell their closest friends personally. It was better than having them find out through rumors. This way, they were one step ahead as well. This way, they would rob Sougo of the chance to make fun of him. This way, he would have no leverage to embarrass them. Still, he was nervous.

He meant, come one… Sakata Gintoki? A cop getting together with an infamous criminal? Sounded like one of those cheap romance novels. On top of that, said criminal was the biggest loser in town. His integrity was on the line. But, here they were and there was no turning back.

Hijikata was blushing just a little bit, his eyes closed and his hand on his mouth, clearing his throat. Kondou, Sougou, and Yamazaki were in front of him, Gintoki next to him. With an overly ill-tempered gesture, he waved towards the silver-haired man.

“So, listen up because I will only say it once! This is my boyfriend now… just so you know.”

“Yo!” Gintoki grinned, apparently in a pretty good mood, one arm put inside his kimono.

He could tell they were taken aback by this and Hijikata stared at them, trying to give off a strong aura that would allow no talking back. He failed, though. It looked more like he was pouting. “I hope you don’t have a problem with that 'cause I made up my mind.”

“Boyfriend?” A clueless Yamazaki was smiling, confused. “As in lover?”

“That’s riiiiiight!” Gintoki took one step forward and tilted his head to the side, chin up, mouth twisted and eyes wide open. He looked like a Yakuza trying to extort protection money out of a poor shop owner. “You get it now? I'm banging your precious Vice Commander, so don't start something funny, or you'll have to deal with me, ya hear meee?”

Hijikata was staring at him with a horrified expression.

“Ahh! I get it! I’m deeply sorry!” Yamazaki shrieked and hid behind his commander.  

Sougo just grinned, sadistically. “Congrats! Took you long enough, though.”

Kondou crossed his arms and nodded as well, smiling proudly. “So, _that’s how it is_. I mean, I always had the feeling Toshi was a little bit like that. I mean he always **** and **** and his *** was ****.”

“ _Oh_! That would explain a lot. Especially his ****.” Gintoki suddenly joined in and nodded theatrically.

“Right? Right!” The commander laughed. “Well, good for you two! I would never have guessed you of all people would end up together!”

Gin chuckled and his sadistic side began oozing out again. He grinned dirtily. “So, you get it now, you little turds?! His _mayo shooting hot dog gun_ belongs to me now! I won’t stand by if you’ll make fun of him! If anyone’s gonna nibble on his _hot dog_ , it will be m- OW!“

“YOU’RE THE ONE EMBARRASSING ME MOST, SHITFACE!”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annotations:
> 
> *Rikugien park is real! You can find it in Tokyo.
> 
> I'm taking requests, by the way! Tell me your ideas/wishes and I see what I can do (no guarantees!)


	6. Codewords never go the way you want them to

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiji and Gin being dads, basically.

## Codewords never go the way you want them to

“Sorry for the intrusion.”

“Come in!”

Hijikata Toushirou silently closed the door, took off his shoes and placed them neatly at the entrance. In his socks, he walked into the living room only to find a bored looking alien girl on the couch. She was picking her nose while watching TV. Detective Conan was on but she didn’t seem too immersed in it. Instead, she was looking his way when he entered, scrutinizing him.

“Oh, it’s you, Toshiii…”

Honestly, when the hell did she get used to this stupid nickname? But well, at least she didn’t hate him. He guessed…

“I was looking for the Yorozuya.” He admitted, carefully. He was wearing his usual off-work garment, a dark blue yukata with a simple obi. Nothing fancy.

“Gin-chan?” she yawned unfazed and turned to the TV again. “He’s taking a shower.”

“Really? At this time of day?” It was afternoon, after all.

“Yeah, he went out drinking yesterday with Hasegawa and the others. So he was pretty smashed and slept the whole day. He just got up like half an hour ago.”

Honestly, this guy was such a _neet_ *. The cop sighed and left it at that. “kay, I’ll wait for him outside then.”

“It might take a while, just stay here.”

Eh? Uncomfortably, Hijikata stared at her but she didn’t even seem to notice. She just slouched there with a bored expression on her face, gazing into the TV. The black-haired man was a bit taken aback. Did she want him to stay? Or was it just childish naivety? He couldn’t tell, and it took him a few moments until he realized there was no polite way out of this situation. So, reluctantly, he sat down opposite of her and crossed his legs and arms. Kagura didn’t seem to care either way.

The room was silent except for the sound coming from the TV and the distant ticking of a clock. It made him nervous, to be honest. Unsettled, the man let his gaze wander the room but it really wasn’t all that interesting. So he eyed Kagura, then the TV and back again. He wasn’t a big fan of an amateur detective and he had no idea how to cope with this alien gal. How the hell did he get into his awkward situation? How the hell was he supposed to act now? He didn’t know a damn thing about dealing with a young teenager. Especially one that was both the adopted daughter of his boyfriend and the descendant of a violent alien race.

Oh, what the hell…

“…So… you like Detective Conan?”

“Nya…” was the only, half-hearted reply. She didn’t look at him, started picking at her ear instead. “It’s okay… nothing better on…”

“I see…”

Woah, this was awkward alright. But still, sitting next to each other in silence was even more awkward. He knew he didn’t need to talk, silence was fine. But it hadn’t been that long since both of them had come out. And he hadn’t exactly spent time with her since. He wondered if she had gotten used to them dating yet. Or if she still wanted this Yoshiwara girl to be Gintoki’s girlfriend.

The cop closed his eyes and racked his brain. He knew Gin cared a great deal for those two. He had basically adopted both. So, he knew he had to get along with them. Besides, when he had been trapped in Gintoki’s body, he had gotten used to them. They were kind of cute, to be honest. But still, being in his own body again and on top of that now being their mentor’s boyfriend… this was just _different_. He wondered if she had a problem with that. But seeing her, she probably didn’t care one bit. That was good in its own way, right?

“So, did you come here to lick Gin-chan’s lollipop?”

 

“ _W-what_?!” His eyeballs almost popped out as he stared at her, utterly shocked.

Her lackadaisical expression remained, and she watched him attentively. “Oh wait, or was it something else? _Sharing your hot-dogs_? I don’t remember. Gin-chan was pretty drunk.”

What the fuck?! “ _NO_!” His head was burning red. He was going to kill him!

Kagura didn’t seem to understand. She tilted her head. “Huh? What’s wrong? Why are you so flustered?”

He seriously was going to kill him! What was he thinking teaching her something like that?! He tried to keep his shit together but failed miserably. “D-d-do you even know what that means?”

“Hm.” She shrugged and gawked at the TV again. “I dunno. Probably you two getting all smoochy poochy and lovey-dovey. How the heck should I know what you two losers are doing in your free time?”

God! At least she didn’t seem to know exactly what that meant. That was a close shave. Still, how vulgar was that guy?!

“But honestly! Next time you’re buying food, let me have some, too! I’m starving here, dammit!” she whined.

“Ah… yeah…” Hijikata’s eye twitched heavily but he managed to smile frantically. What the hell was this turning into? Now, this sounded like a lolicon hentai! No way in hell he would share his hot dog with her! He wasn’t a pervert, for Pete’s sake! And what kind of ridiculous expressions were those anyway? How old was this guy? Twelve?

“Ahhh~ that was good!”

“Gin-chan’s out of the bath.” Kagura commented, unfazed. She was chewing a strip of sukonbu now.

The next moment, a silver-haired guy waltzed into the living room and had a smile on his lips. Though, when he spotted a certain policeman on the couch, it got even bigger. “Kagura! What did I miss- _oh!_ ”

Hijikata didn’t move an inch, he didn’t even look at him. A dark aura encircled him but the _neet_ samurai didn’t seem to notice. Instead, he came closer and grinned teasingly. “What a nice surprise! My favorite Vice Commander coming for a visit, I’m honored! I wonder what’s the occasion~.”

As he wanted to sit down next to him and give him a kiss on the cheek, Hijikata finally moved. And before his lips could even touch his cheek, he had a fist buried in his face. Shrieking, Gintoki fell backwards and rolled on the floor, holding his bleeding nose.

“OW! What the heck!”

Hijikata was looming over him, his face black and his eyes shimmering in a deadly red. His fist was still clenched and shaking, his voice tumbling. “You damn bastard! What the hell do you think you’re doing?! Using phrases like that in front of a child! What kind of language are you teaching her?! Want me to skin you alive?!”

“Ahhh, Hijikata-kuuun!” He whined, frightened now. “What the heck are you talking about?!”

“You know damn well what I’m talking about, asshole! I swear to god, I’ll arrest you for sexual harassment and child molestation!”

“Wh-what now? Why are you so angry, Hijikata-kun?! Did I deserve this? Do I?” Gin-san squeaked and covered his head, as the officer started stomping him. “Ahhh! Help me Kagura!”

“Not interested.” She yawned and stored her face in her hand, watching TV. “Whatever you’ve done, you probably deserve it.”

 

And that was about it.

Pouting, Gintoki sat next to Kagura a few moments later, a tissue plugged into his nose to catch the blood. He sat across from the officer, so he couldn’t hit him again. His face was annoyed, and he leaned back, rolling his eyes.

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“You better are, damn idiot.” The cop was still in a foul mood, a dark aura flaring around him. He had his arms crossed once more and growled. “I swear to God, I’ll send you to the hospital next time you’re pulling some shit like that.”

“Urgh!” Being scolded like that, Gin felt like a child. He glanced over to Kagura and knocked against her head. “I don’t know what you’re even worried about. This girl’s head is as hollow as a sake barrel on January first. She doesn’t even get it.”

In response, he got a foot shoved in his face. “What was that, you damn perm? Your head ’s the melon I’ll smash at the beach next!”

“Doesn’t matter.” Hijikata stressed. “Don’t teach her stuff like that, damn it! And you call yourself a responsible adult?” He was pissed at him. So damn pissed!

“Don’t recall I ever said that. And stop nagging, bastard! Why are you even here in the first place?!”

The man with the blue eyes suddenly paused and gulped. The emerging silence was filled by Kagura’s indifferent comment.

“Probably because he wants to you to _eat his mayonnaise_.”

Gin looked surprised for a moment but then he chuckled, tousling her hair. “Oh, good one! But, you know, I would rather make him _eat my banana split_ instead. Kehehe~.”

“Do you have that much of a death wish, Yorozuya?!”

“Not fair! I want to eat your banana split, Gin-chan! If you have something left, you should give it to me first! I’m still growing after all! Why are you favoring Toshi over me?!”

“Sorry, Kagura! This banana is reserved for Hijikata-kun only, kehehehe. But don’t worry, once you’re old enough, you’ll find your own banana split to suck on.”

“That’s dirty! I want one _now_!”

Hijikata was drawing his sword, truly having the eyes of a demon.

But Gin just giggled and waved it off. “Calm down, Mayora! It’s just a joke, just a joke, okay? It’s not like- OW!”

 

And another punch mark decorated his face, leaving him with a bandage wrapped around his head and a black eye. Wearied, Gin glared at him now. “So… what is it you’re here for again?”

“Grrr…” Hijikata closed his eyes and crossed his arms for the third time, pissed off. “I can’t believe you…”

Gin tilted his head. “You’re not answering my question, Hijikata-kun.”

His lips pressed against each other in a thin line and he blushed slightly. A low grumble poured out of his mouth and he was reluctant to say it. Since they had decided to date openly, they had to… well, think of a discreet way to communicate in public. Gin was living with two teenagers after all and honestly, what they were doing was nobody’s business. So… they had come up with a code word. Pretty smart idea, he had to give him that. Apart from being a gigantic, procrastinating idiot, this freak had some good tactics. Sometimes.

He felt stupid saying it, though. But he had to give him credit for thinking about that. It was actually a pretty elegant solution. There was no way anyone would notice. And he was really craving some love right now. Even though he still wanted to beat him up for being such a creep.

“I um…” He was going to say it! He was! For real now!

Gintoki looked at him while Kagura was minding her own business, laying on the couch and chewing her sukonbu.

“…you wanna go to the movies?”

He said it! Gah!

He couldn’t look at him for he was blushing hard.

He could _feel_ Gin grinning, though. Dirtily. “Oh? What do we have here? Interesting, veeery interesting.”

Really, he just knew he swallowed a comment along the lines of _looks like the Vice Chief want’s my banana after all_! Or something like that. Good thing he didn’t choose to say them out loud. Or else he would seriously kill him today. No, Gin just chuckled deeply and kicked his head back just a little to show him an approving and cocky smirk. “Sure. _I’d love to.”_

Hijikata didn’t want to admit how sexy he found that. He just stared at him, still a bit grumpy but relived as well. Damn, was he some kind of addict now? What a nightmare.

“ _What_?!” Suddenly, Kagura jumped up and glared at the two men reproachfully. She pouted and seemed pretty offended. “First I’m not allowed to eat with you guys and now you’re going to the movies _without_ me?! That’s it! I won’t allow this! I’ll go too! You _have_ to take me with you!”

But then again, Gintoki’s ideas were infamous for being stupid.

How the hell did he even think for one second that this would work?

Kagura was yanking Gin now, winey. “Take me with you to the movies! Please! You won’t even realize I’m there! Come on, take me with you!”

“Ugh, um…” Dumbfounded, Gintoki stared at Hijikata for help but the man was as clueless as he was.

“We never go to the movies, please! Please!”

“Well, we might see an adult movie, so…” The perm head tried, smiling desperately.

“I don’t care! Just take me with you! Please!”

“But won’t it be boring going with two old men? Don’t you have other things to do?”

“No, I don’t! I’m dying of boredom here!”

“B-but… this guy will ruin the popcorn with mayonnaise and…”

“Please, please, please, please, please, please!”

“All right, all right!” Gin groaned, annoyed. “Guess we have no choice…”

“Yaaaaay!” And with this, Kagura jumped up and stormed off to the closet, humming a happy song. She was all fired up already.

Grunting, Gin closed his eyes and shot Hijikata an apologetic look next, shrugging. The policeman just sighed and massaged his forehead. That just couldn't go well.

Well, it couldn't be helped.

 

~ ~ ~

 

With a joyful scream, a little girl crashed into the seat and jumped up and down for a few seconds. She was elated, her excitement bubbling over. People started staring already and Hijikata appeared to be the only one feeling embarrassed about that. Gintoki just screeched in his usual blunt manner and started shoving her.

“Move it! You’re sitting in the middle, so I can’t get through!”

“No way!” She pouted and curled her legs, so he could walk past her. “I wanna sit in the middle! This is the best spot!”

Obviously, Gintoki did not agree. They squabbled about that some more while a dark-haired man just waited behind them carrying all the popcorn and drinks. And people were staring even more. He couldn’t look anymore and hid his face behind his bangs. Oh, dear lord…

Finally, Gin gave in and slumped down next to Kagura and an old lady with thick glasses. He shot Hijikata a short, irritated look and shrugged. It was not like the policeman didn’t understand what he was trying to do. The theater was packed, almost sold out. These had been one of the last three seats in a row. The Yorozuya had tried to persuade his little ward to sit on the outside for some time now but it seemed she was adamant about sitting between them. He really wondered why. Was it because of some kind of jealousy? Didn’t she want them to sit together? Or was it rather that she wanted to sit next to both of them because she enjoyed it? Hijikata didn’t even know anymore. This girl was a mystery to him.

“Oi, Toshi! Fork over the popcorn! Come on, _pronto_! Movie ’s about to start!” she spat, bossy.

“Yeah, yeah…” Sighing, he sat down next to her and passed it over.

In the meantime, he heard Gintoki slurping his strawberry milkshake raucously, moping. Really, he felt like he was taking care of two teenagers now. Why was he the one having to buy the tickets and the snacks anyway? Honestly, he hadn't expected this day to become this way at all.

As the lights turned off and the trailers began to roll, Kagura was making weird sounds. When he glimpsed at her, he could see the awe on her face and the sparkle in her eyes. She had picked the movie. Obviously. It was an action comedy, so Hijikata didn’t complain. He liked action movies. Though, to be honest, he never really saw one with another person, much less with a lover and his adopted daughter. Sighing, he leaned back and put some mayo on his popcorn. Well, it couldn’t be helped. He could as well enjoy the movie while he was here.

“Aah!” Suddenly, the redheaded alien girl jumped up and started bellowing. Apparently, a very tall man had sat down in front of her. And so, _naturally_ , she was shouting at him. “Hey! You! Who do you think you are?! You’re blocking my sight! I can’t see a thing!”

The tall man, as well as all the other guests, were gawking at her, utterly shocked. But she didn’t care. Provocatively, she shook her fist and stomped on the back of his chair. “Change seats, now! You can’t sit there! Bugger off!”

Hijikata was dropping further down into his seat until no one could see him anymore. God, this was embarrassing.

“Didn’t you hear me, colossal titan? You want me to attack your weak point? I don’t even need 3-D gear for that!”

“I… I just…”

“Get lost!” She started throwing popcorn at him now. Of course.

“That’s it!” Promptly, she was seized and thrown into the chair. Gintoki was slumping down, too. Although, now, he was the one sitting in the middle. “Go sit over there, for Pete’s sake! He won’t bother you there.”

“HMPF!” To say she was sulking was a massive understatement. Her head was red, her arms crossed dramatically, and her cheeks puffed up. She looked like an angry hamster. “Not fair!”

“You can see now, can’t you?” Gin complained. “So, shut up already and enjoy the movie!”

He heard her ranting some more but she didn’t move. Instead, Gintoki turned to his boyfriend and gave him a smug smile. The wink and the thumbs up made his intentions even clearer. Hijikata looked at him from behind his hand covering his flushed face. He was a shrewd man indeed. And an idiot on top of that.

Then, the movie started. Kagura had forgotten all about that and was munching her popcorn, her eyes glued to the screen. Gintoki was slurping his milkshake and Hijikata was still trying his best not to die of embarrassment.

 

“ _A long time ago in a faraway country… there was a man. He was called many names. The destroyer… the wanderer… the butcher… the faceless man… the viper… shitface…  David… the-“_  

As the narrator kept on, something suddenly grazed Hijikata’s shoulder and almost made him jump. Startled, he turned around and gazed into red eyes. With a mischievous grin, Gintoki was leaning into him, whispering.

“Hey there~”

He didn’t reply. He really had nothing to say to that.

“Sorry for Kagura. This plan turned out shit but how about this? We drop her off at home after the movie and then… we’ll go somewhere else… just the two of us.”

A heavy sigh and Hijikata closed his eyes. “Let’s just get this over with….”

“Hehehe, so you really want my banana, huh? Really, Hijikata-kun~! You’re so dirty!”

“Zip it and watch the movie!”

“But we’re here, so let’s make the best of it!” He chuckled throatily and placed his hand on Hijikata’s thigh.

“Keep your hands off!” The policeman hissed as quietly as possible and tried shoving him away.

“Aw, come one!” Clearly enjoying this, Gin leaned in closer and kissed his neck. “It’s dark, so no one will see.”

“Grrr, drop it!” As if the movie wanted to highlight the threat, the music turned heavy and mysterious.

But the silver-haired man didn’t. He pursed his lips and air-kissed him. “Just one kiss, Hijikata-kun. Come on~. No one will see.”

The cop blushed again as he scowled at Gin’s stupid face. Damn, why was he taking so much pleasure in embarrassing him in public? He wanted to punch him for that. But he also wanted to kiss him, too. Don’t ask. He didn’t even understand that himself. But it seemed logical, didn’t it? It would shut him up…

Ah, what the heck.

Angrily, he turned around to kiss him. His eyes closed, and his lips pursed like a five-year-old kissing a girl for the first time. The sooner he gave this maniac what he wanted, the sooner he would have his peace and quiet.

“OH, MY GOD!” A voice shrieked, and the music turned into a chaotic mess. Kagura was jumping up and losing it. “Gin-chan! Did you see that? Did you- YOU’RE NOT LOOKING!” And the next second, their heads crashed into each other, leaving both men unconscious for the following scene.

As the alien girl was screaming louder and shouting at the screen, Gin woke up and covered his reddened and bruised face. He started yelling and fuming and fighting with her, asking her what he ever did to her to deserve this kind of abuse. Hijikata just held his bleeding nose and turned away from them. He really started wondering if he would survive this day in the first place…

Somehow their quarrel ended in Kagura scolding Gintoki and forbidding them both to make out or even look at each other. She was awfully invested in her guardian following the movie. So in the end, the Yorozuya had given up and kept his distance. Yay him, it seemed. Though, of course, it wasn’t before long until he started embarrassing the hell out of him again. It was like fifteen minutes into the movie that an intense scene came up and Gintoki suddenly jumped up and started shouting “watch out!” and “behind you!” like a five-year-old would… Encouraged, Kagura did the same and as the protagonist wouldn’t listen, they began throwing popcorn at the screen as if that would make him react.

There was no way Hijikata Toushirou could sink any deeper into the seat cushions. He was so ashamed, he just wanted to crawl into a hole and die there. How the hell did he end up with these two idiots again? He didn’t even know anymore…

 

~ ~ ~

 

A loud _sniff_ echoed through the crowd as the three of them left the cinema. Hijikata had a waterfall of tears gushing down his cheeks and tried brushing them away with his arm. His voice was shaking a bit. “Wow… that was a good movie…”

“What, are you crying? You’re crying, aren’t you?” Gintoki sniffed, fighting tears as well.

“Nu-uh! I’m not crying… You’re crying…” The cop sobbed.

“Nonsense! You’re crying, you big crybaby…”

“Wuuuhaaa!” Kagura was bursting through them, tearing them apart and started shadow boxing. She was all fired up, obviously. “That was awesome! What a great movie! Did you see the scene where they hijacked the train and when he caught the bullet with his teeth?! Or when he was kicking their asses all naked? Or when he was building the sandcastle? Awesome!”

The girl was all over the place, kicking and fighting and crying in ecstasy. She kept going on and on about her favorite scenes and how she wanted to see it again. It was getting dark outside now and the streets were pretty busy. Together, the three of them were walking down the main road. It took some time and effort but the silver-haired man finally managed to brush off the waterworks on his face. He was eyeing Kagura as she was marching onwards like she had a plan where to go next. Not good. He had to prevent that. So he cleared his throat, serious, but also quite inert.

“So, anyway Kagura… we took you to the movies and it’s getting late already, so…”

She was ignoring him, clearly. Just a little bit annoyed, he tried again. “Kagura, are you listening? You got what you wanted, so-“

“Kyah! Look! A festival!” A girly squeak escaped her mouth and she started dashing off, whirling up the dust behind her.

“O-OI! Kagura!” But it was too late. She had already set her eyes on a takoyaki booth standing at the entrance of what seemed to be a little festival. He didn’t remember today being any special holiday but he guessed with modern times came new festivals. Exasperated, he massaged his neck and closed his eyes. “Honestly… this girl is more than I can handle.”

“It’s fine.” the man next to him suddenly said and started walking towards her.

“Huh?” Surprised, Gin stared at him and started following a second later. “Really?”

“Yeah…” Hijikata lighted himself a cigarette and seemed pretty relaxed. “Let’s spend some more time with her. She seems happy enough.”

For a long moment, the samurai couldn’t react. He just kept gawking at him, genuinely surprised. Then, he began smiling. “Don’t tell me… you’re enjoying this, Hijikata-kun~”

Uncomfortable, he shot him a look. “Don’t be ridiculous! All I’m saying is: if we’re here, we might as well enjoy it.”

A hearty laughter and a soft patting on his back was the response he got for that. “Well, I take it you’re paying for us then?”

“Tsk… am I just a big fat wallet to you?!”

“Among other things… kehehe~”

“Toshi!!!” Kagura practically tackled him, jumping up and down like a rabbit. “Buy me something to eat! And I want to do _kingyo sukui!”_

“Hahahaha, you catching goldfish? Not in a thousand years! You’re way to brutal and clumsy for such a delicate task!” Gintoki chortled and promptly got punched in the face as Kagura roared at him.

 _Toshi_ just sighed and opened his wallet, handing her a few thousand yen bills. “Don’t spend everything at once, I don’t have too much on me.”

“Yaaaaay! Thanks a bunch!” She ripped it out of his hand and started skipping to the next booth, buying three servings of yakitori at once. All for herself, as he quickly realized.

He didn't particularly mind, he liked takoyaki better anyway. He gave Gintoki money too, so he could get something he liked and stayed behind at the takoyaki booth waiting for his order. When he got the steaming hot octopus balls, he fetched his very own mayonnaise bottle and drowned them in white sauce. His mind started to wander along with his gaze as he searched for the China girl. She was playing a shooting game at a nearby booth and almost threw the gun into the prices in frustration when she couldn’t get the hang of it. He couldn’t refrain from smiling at that.

Eating his takoyaki, he watched her from afar, keeping an eye on her. She was kind of cute, he had to admit that. And although this was his day off and he almost had spent all of his money on them, he didn’t mind that much. To be honest, it was worth it in a way. Seeing her so cheerful like this made him unexpectedly happy. Of course, he wasn’t exactly aware of this feeling. He just felt oddly content.

“Wahh! Festivals sure are great!” A familiar voice pestered him from the side and as he turned to him, he saw Gintoki beaming. He was wearing a kitsune mask upon his hair, was sucking on a dango stick and had a piece of candy stuck between each finger. There was a candy apple, a banana covered in chocolate, cotton candy and a taiyaki filled with ice cream and anko. Hijikata’s mouth distorted. He felt like getting cavity just by looking at it.

“You sure seem to enjoy it…”

“That’s what you said, didn’t you?” Gin grinned devilishly.

“Ugh…” He massaged his forehead and turned away.

“What? Aren’t you having fun?” A snicker. “You look pretty pleased to me.”

“Yeah, yeah…” He nodded towards Kagura. “Take care of your little adopted daughter instead before she trashes the place.”

“Nah, she’s fine.”  Hijikata could feel Gin getting closer but not enough to make people suspicious. “I wanna stay with you.”

The cop appeared embarrassed at that comment and averted his gaze, gulping down another mayonnaise-drenched takoyaki. “Doesn't matter… I might be off duty now but I’m still a cop… so if she causes a ruckus, I have to take responsibility.”

“Woah, lighten up.” The Yorozuya pinched his cheek playfully and took a bite of his chocolate-covered fruit. “This is your day off and we’re on a date, so relax a bit, won’t you? Here…” He grinned mockingly. “Wanna nibble my banana?”

As he shoved the chocolate banana in his face, Hijikata didn’t know if he should blush or be aggravated. He opted for both and stuffed the last takoyaki in his mouth while moving again. “You’re a real moron, you know that?”

“Hahaha, just the way you like me~”

“Gin-chaaaaan! Tosssshiii!!”

They were tackled by a redheaded girl having tears in her eyes. She was being overly dramatic. “I neeed more moneyyy!!”

“Oi, oi.” Gin gave her a soft knock on the head. “Don’t go wasting Toshi’s money. Be a little more grateful!”

“Grrr… Don't you start with that, too! Stop calling me Toshi, dammit…”

“Look who’s talking! You bought way too many sweets, too!”

“Well, but I am his sweetheart, so it doesn’t count!”

“Like hell! You’re going to pay me back!”

“Whaaat?! That’s unfair! That wasn’t the deal! Don’t you want your sweetheart to be happy?”

“Who’re you calling my sweetheart?!”

“Toshiii!” Kagura was pulling him to the _kingyo sukui_ booth and ogled him with big, shimmering eyes. “Please! Please, please, please! I haven’t even caught a single fish yet! Come one, please!”

Oh dear. His cheeks reddened, and he couldn’t look at her. He scratched his neck instead and growled a little. “Honestly… but that’s the last thing, alright?”

“You sure bet!” She grabbed his money the second he fumbled for his wallet. As quick as lightning, she was armed with a little paper scoop and tried fishing out the goldfish into her bowl.

The officer moaned quietly and felt like he was not good at dealing with a teenager at all. But, oh well.

He saw Gintoki appearing next to him, grinning like an idiot. Hijikata ignored that, though. He couldn’t handle his thorny comments right now.

A few tries later, the girl in the Chinese clothes groaned loudly and threw her broken scoop into the water, cursing heavily. Seemed like she didn’t have any luck with this one, either. Of course, Gintoki was all over her, mocking her.

“Kehehe, I told you~ You’re not good at this delicate stuff.”

“Graaah!” Tears welling in her eyes, she barked at him. “Then _you_ try it, Mister know-it-all! This is harder than you think!”

“Tsk, gladly!” Challenged, Gintoki tucked up his sleeves, kneeled in front of the basin and took a new scoop. “You’ve been doing it all wrong, anyway.”

“Fine then! How am I supposed to do it?”

The silver-haired man grinned cockily now. “Catching goldfish is much like persuading a woman. You have to be gentle, charming, fast and fearless. I’ll show you how to do it. Watch and learn.”

The next moment, he got super concentrated. His eyes were fixating the fish and his hand was ready to strike. The whole aura around him got tense and Kagura held her breath. Then, all of the sudden, Gintoki struck.

As quick as a flash, his scoop hit the basin and aimed for the fish. “PLEASE SEND ME NUDES OF YOU, KETSUNO ANA!”

The impact of the scoop hitting the water was so hard, the liquid started splashing out in all directions, causing the fish to shoot up and rain down again. One fish was still in the little basin, swimming with its belly upside down, knocked out. Gin pointed at it demonstratively.

“There you go.”

“LIKE HELL THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT!” Hijikata screeched, as Kagura was applauding Gin with a proud expression glued to her face.

 

“Maaah… this is harder than I expected.” Gintoki complained as he had wasted the fifth scoop in a row. He was trying it the normal way now after he had to apologize to the shop owner and put the goldfish back into the basin. Hijikata had made sure of that.

“I told youuu!” His ward jostled him. “It’s not that easy!”

“Gna, pain in the ass. Why do you need goldfish anyway? We can’t have them as pets. Sadaharu would eat them first thing in the morning.”

“But I waaaant theeem!” She sobbed and hit him. “You’re an idiot, Gin-chan! An idiot and a loser! You can’t even catch a goldfish!”

“Haaa? Since when does one person’s worth depend on how good they are at catching some damn fish?”

“Tossshiii!” Out of the blue, she was tugging at his kimono. “Can’t you do it for me? Just one! I only want one!”

“M-me?” he stuttered.

“Yes, please!” She dragged him to the basin and shoved him onto his knees. “You can do it! I know you can! You’re nothing like this loser here! Please catch one for me!”

“Isn’t it enough already with you calling me a loser, haah?”

“Pleease!”

“Alright alright…” The policeman sighed and tucked his sleeves up. To be honest, he had never really done this before. And he was also a bit nervous. He didn’t want to disappoint her. Still, he reached for the scoop and began watching the fish. Frankly, he had no idea how to do this. But he guessed their way had been wrong, so maybe he should try a different approach.

“Oi, oi, can you do it? Don’t get her hopes up, bastard.” Gintoki teased, obviously offended.

“Shut up, I’m trying okay?” he barked and turned back to the fish. They seemed pretty riled up. Probably still scared shitless from Gin’s last brutal attempt. So he let the small bowl into the water and waited a few moments until they had calmed down. It was only after that, that he made his first approach. The net broke pretty fast and he got two people shunning him for that. But at the second try, he somehow managed to get it right. With a lot of patience and a calm hand, he scooped the fish into his bowl successfully.

“Wow! You did it!” Kagura celebrated and was openly amazed.

Gin just snorted and got huffy. “Tsk, damn bastard.”

The policeman couldn’t hide a proud smile himself. He gave the bowl to the redheaded girl. “Here, take it. It’s yours.”

“Thanks!” Her eyes gleamed again, and she was jumping up to get her price from the old lady at the stall.

As Hijikata fixed his kimono and got up again, his boyfriend crossed his arms provocatively and clicked his tongue. “Show-off…”

Now it was his turn to chuckle and smirk. “What? You a sore loser?”

“Hmpf! Don’t get too cocky. Gin-san ’s still her biggest hero!”

“Suit yourself if such a dumb title means anything to you.” Hijikata teased. “But honestly now… why would you think shouting at fish would get them into your bowl?”

“Tsk, to scare them and render them defenseless, duh! It’s like a battle cry!”

“Gosh… no wonder you haven’t had any luck with women when this is how you tried seducing them.”

“Look who’s talking! You’re the one who never had a girlfriend!”

“Tsk! Only because I chose to! If I had wanted, I could have had them all!”

“Ah yeah?! Women want more than just good looks, you know! If I ever tried seriously, I would have a harem by now!”

“In your dreams! You’re way too vulgar and your personality is rotten to the core!”

“Haaa? What did you just say, bastard?!”

“I want to eat some more cotton candy.” Kagura looked at them with big, cute eyes.

Both men stared at her and were in full fighting mode. Just to annoy Gin some more, Hijikata grinned and opened his wallet for her.

“Sure, sure… take all you want. I am a working adult, after all. So naturally, I have enough money to provide properly for a child.”

“Grrrr, children need more than just money! Don’t think you can buy her like that!”

“Thanks, Toshi, you’re the best~” Kagura chimed innocently.

And Gintoki took the bait. “Whaaat? Just you wait and see! Kagura, I’m going to win you the biggest toy they have!” He wanted to storm off but came back to growl at the cop. “Oi, give me some cash.”

“Like hell I will! I’m not your sugar daddy! Find your own money!”

“Just a few yen to get me started! Don’t be so stingy, konnoyaro!”

“I said no!”

But Gin wound up stealing his wallet anyway, dashing off into the crowd. Naturally, Hijikata started chasing him, yelling and cussing and insulting him. Kagura stayed back and smirked. Satisfied, she was counting the money. Really, men were so easy to manipulate. A few girly gestures here and a bit of fluttering her eyelashes there and it was done. Pathetic. But good for her. With this, she could buy all the sweets she wanted.

Yay!

 

 

Urgh. Hijikata had given up completely now. He had lost Gintoki a while back and had no hope of finding him before he wanted to be found. Damn this little sucker. Oh, he was gonna sort him out, alright!

He was walking down the festival street again, messaging his neck. It really was bustling here. Way too many people for his taste. But it seemed peaceful and that was a good thing. Wandering around, he held his eyes open for either of them. He wanted to find them soon. Being alone here in this kind of place felt really lonely for some reason.

It took a while until he heard a strange sound coming from the streets at the park nearby. He looked around but saw no one. Only when a high-pitched and lifeless _heeeelp_ sounded did he realize where it came from.  A few steps to his right, a little girl lay in the grass, holding her swollen belly. At first, it seemed like a woman in the last month of pregnancy but sure enough, it was a hoggish alien girl on the verge of exhaustion.

Her eyes watery, she looked at him and whined “Toshi… help me….”

Sighing exasperatedly, he came closer and hunkered down. “How can you even eat that much?”

“I… can’t moooove anymore…” She burped and reached her hand out for him, shaking. “You… got to save me!”

“Just sit tight, I’ll get this useless Yorozuya.”

“Noooo!” Dramatically, her eyes rolled inside her head. “Can’t wait… Help me… now…”

A slight panic took over. “But… I don’t know what to do.”

“You have to carry meeee!” she coughed like she was about to die. “Hurry! I don’t have much time!”

It worked and a bit frantic, he started fussing over her. “Alright, alright!”

It was hard to give her a piggyback ride with such a big belly but he managed somehow. The little girl swung her arms around him to hold him tight and started complaining as soon as he started walking.

“Urgh… you reek of cigarettes…”

“I can let you down anytime you want.” He growled in a low response.

“Just get Gin-chan and bring me home….”

Reluctantly, he carried on. He could feel her weight on his back and she was quite heavy, to be honest. But still, she was a lightweight compared to other people. Her loud gasping was creeping into his ear and making him shiver. He tried to ignore it as best as he could. She smacked her lips from time to time and seemed to enjoy the ride. Honestly… he was wondering if she tested him. Or was this just her nature? Or maybe she was just lonely?

In any case, she seemed to have enjoyed the day with them. Bossing them around, extorting his money, playing them off against each other. It was not like he minded too much. If anything, this day turned out to be a nice change. He actually had enjoyed spending time with them. And in a weird sense, it had made him feel like a part of their family. It was a nice feeling. Even though that was still hard to imagine. What would he even be for them? A big brother? Or just another friend who happened to be dating their guardian? Dating… that still sounded so weird.

Lost in thought, he almost didn’t hear the second strange noise he should have watched out for. It was a low whining, crying, sniffing. As he looked to the side of a cotton candy booth, he found another weird object lying on the ground, unable to move. It was Gintoki of course and his belly was second to none. When he saw them passing by, he sobbed and reached out to them.

“Hijikata-kun~ You have to carry me, too!”

A few well-placed kicks were all he got. “Like hell I can carry you both!”

 

~ ~ ~

 

Gintoki was still sobbing but had managed to stand up at least. He was walking next to the policeman as they were on their way back.

“Honestly… what did you even do?” Hijikata growled annoyed, still carrying Kagura on his back.

“I… I wanted to win her something big, but…” _Sniff, sniff_. “…I never won anything. So… in the end… I was so frustrated, I stuffed myself with sweets… I couldn’t help it.”

“God, you’re an idiot…”

“Well, you can talk! …You’re the one who won her that stupid goldfish…”

“You’re still sobbing about that? Man, get over it. I’m sure she’s not disappointed. I mean, you never get anything done.” 

“You are so cruuuel!”

Oh dear, what a crybaby. Hijikata rolled his eyes and adjusted the girl’s weight anew because she was sliding down from time to time. “As I said, I’m sure she doesn’t mind. Right, China?”

“She’s sleeping…”

“Huh?” The policeman tried cocking his head to the side to see but couldn’t. Still, now that he mentioned it, he could hear her snoring. “Oh…”

“She’s been asleep for a while now. Did you really just notice now?”

“Um…” Honestly? Yes.

“She’s been drooling all over you since we left the festival.”

“Urgh! Yuck!”

All of the sudden, Gintoki laughed again and shot him a contented look. “Serves you right.”

“Ah shut up!” A growl and he closed his eyes, marching on nevertheless.

For a few moments, they were silent, though he could feel Gin scrutinizing him. The smile, however, had never left his lips. He seemed pretty happy, to be honest. It made the cop kind of itchy. He couldn’t bear it for long before he stared at him from the corner of his eye.

“What?”

“Nuffing.” Chortling, Gin shrugged and closed his eyes. “Just… you’d make a horrible father.”

“ _Come again_?”

“Well, I mean… you’re totally too soft. Allowing her anything, setting no boundaries. That’s bad stuff. Everyone knows that. That’s Parenting 101.”

“Huuuh? If I’m too soft, then you’re an even worse father! Teaching her bad language, cursing in front of her, encouraging violence, bad behavior, and stealing! I should arrest you for that! I really should! You shouldn’t ever have custody of a child!”

“Well, you can’t because she chose me as her guardian!” He poked his tongue out at him. “’Cause I’m the coolest.”

“Urgh, you’re a damn plague!”

“Hehehe, who’s the sore loser now, huh?”

“I was never competing with you to begin with!”

“You wouldn’t stand a chance against me, anyway!”

He was seriously giving him a headache. Good thing, they were at his home already. “Shut your face and open the door.”

They battered a bit more until they managed to get in. Being inside, Gintoki had strangely seemed to calm down a little. He was preparing her futon in the closet while Hijikata was standing in the living room waiting. She really was getting pretty heavy now. So when the silver-haired man turned towards him, he was a bit relieved.

“Give her to me.”

As he was pulling her into his arms, she was sleeptalking for a few seconds, kicking around as if she sensed danger. Deftly, the samurai dodged those and put her into the sleeping closet. Hijikata watched as he placed the covers over her and stroked her hair once with a smile on his lips. It made a part of his chest hurt for a brief instant. It startled him because he had no idea where this came from. But seeing him like this was somehow very bittersweet. A second later, Gin shut the closet door and turned around. The smile on his lips was cheeky and mysterious. He lowered his voice a bit.

“Let’s go outside.”

Obediently, the officer followed him to the balcony and closed the door behind him. The night was quite warm and back here, the air was thick. Even though they were in the middle of the city, the sound of the cascades chirping was annoyingly loud. Above them the sky was clear but even in this dark backyard area, the city lights were too bright to see the stars. It felt like a small haven of peace here. But also, pretty suffocating for some reason.

Instinctively, Hijikata fumbled for a cigarette. He had been craving one for a while now and he was glad Gintoki had realized that. Inhaling the bitter scent helped him calm down a little, though he didn’t remember when exactly he had gotten nervous again. Maybe it was whenever he was alone with him. Even after almost two months into dating him, he was getting edgy whenever they had some privacy.

“Mind if I take a drag?”

Genuinely startled, the dark-haired man eyed him. “What?”

“Mind if I take a drag?” he repeated patiently and with a crooked smile.

He was confused. “Weren’t you the one who said a protagonist never smokes on a kids show?”

“Gintama’s not a kids show, you know that. Besides, this entire arc has been PG18, so nobody would care anyway.” He leaned towards him, still smirking.

“Fine, do as you please.” He passed him his cigarette.

And Gintoki took it, grinning mischievously. He took a deep drag and his face contorted immediately. “Ugh… too bitter.”

“What did you expect, idiot?”

He still smiled and took another drag, blowing the smoke into his face. “Don’t you have strawberry flavor or something like that?”

“Of course not! Besides, why do you even want to smoke all of the sudden? Aren’t you always complaining about me?”

“Sure, but…” His grin was so cheeky and seductive, it was hard to resist. “…this is like an indirect kiss and I like that.”

Honestly, this guy always said such reckless things. His bluntness always got him. He couldn’t deal with that. His eyes went off into another direction and he got way too nervous.

He had expected Gin to give him his cigarette back, but strangely enough, he didn’t. Instead, he leaned against the balcony and observed him. He had a peculiar seductive aura sizzling around him that was very much like the one of a hunter faced with his prey. At least that’s how it felt like to the policeman. Still, seemed like Gintoki didn’t plan on making his move yet. He was still keeping his distance, smiling, never taking his eyes off him.

“Thanks for taking care of Kagura. It really was a nice evening.”

“N-no problem…” He stared into the distance, craving his cigarette more than ever. But it was still stuck between Gintoki’s lips.

“It feels like this was our first real date, doesn’t it?”

“U… un…” How was he supposed to reply to that? How was he normally talking to him in the first place? He didn’t seem to remember at all.

His eyes were fixated on him and his smirk mischievous. He held back with teasing him, Hijikata knew. He could but he didn’t. Somehow, that made him even edgier. Seemed like this bastard enjoyed the effect he had on him.

“So… what are we gonna do about the night?”

The officer bit his lip and held his breath. Honestly, he hadn’t even thought about that for most of the time. But being with him here now was something different. And this whole situation was enough to make his pants feel tight. So, he gulped and tried to be as cool as possible.

“China’s here, so…”

“Yeah, we shouldn’t…” Gintoki came closer, blowing another round of smoke into his face.

When his hand reached his waist, Hijikata shuddered. Damn this bastard… He could see Gintoki licking his lips. He was teasing him, and it got harder and harder to resist.

“Don’t tell me you want to do it with her sleeping here.”

The silver-haired man chuckled almost inaudibly and came so close their bodies touched and his nose grazed his. “Of course not… even I have my limits. Though you seem to be quite turned on by the thought of being caught, don’t you?”

“Idiot… if anyone’s turned on by that, it would be you.” Hijikata muttered and felt a lot of blood rushing down below his belt. He was hard already and could feel Gin was in the same position, grinding it against his own.

“Hmm… that might be true…” he hummed and closed his eyes, caressing his cheeks and lips with his nose.

Oh dear lord. Hijikata couldn’t think straight anymore. He wanted him now. But heck, not here. Not with Kagura in the next room. But a love hotel would be way too far away. Also, he didn’t have any money left. What should he do? Gulping, he heaved for air and grasped Gintoki’s buttocks, pressing him against his erection. And that was him _holding back_. “Don’t say things that will make this even harder…”

“Mhmm…” He grinned and seemed to have a hard time dealing with his arousal as well. Though, he also appeared a bit more composed than his boyfriend. Still, he couldn’t refrain from letting his fingers run through black hair. “In that case… you should really leave now. …Before I tear off your clothes and ride you like a bull.”

Oh God. He wanted that. He wanted to see him doing that. He wanted to take him now. But he knew he shouldn’t. So, with all his strength, he pulled back and gulped down his arousal. His head was all flustered. “Yeah… better…”

A small, almost proud smile appeared on his face and he backed off as well. “Think of me when you jerk off, will ya? …’Cause I certainly will.”

The cop was so horny, that blunt comment caused his pulse to drum hotly against his manhood. “U-uhu…”

“Call me when you’re free again?”

“I will…”

“…Okay…”

Wow, that was really tough. Not knowing how to even walk anymore, Hijikata was nodding to him and started leaving. He looked like a robot in doing so. “W… well then… see ya…”

“See ya….” Gintoki whispered as he clutched the cigarette between his fingers.

 

 

Hijikata had left the Yoroyuza’s house and began walking home. He was a wobbly mess and it was difficult for him to keep his balance. His pants were still abnormally tight, and it hurt with every step. God, he hadn’t been this horny in ages. What was it about this loser that always riled him up so much? Sometimes, he only needed to look at him and he was ready to go. He was so hot. And their last love hotel visit had been ages ago, it seemed. Gah, he couldn’t think straight anymore! But it was better that way. He didn’t want to do it when there was a child around. If she caught them, he would never forgive himself. So it truly was for the best.

His phone rang. Instinctively and without even looking who was calling, he picked it up.

“ _Moshi mosh_. Hijikata Toushirou speaking.”

“…Or… you know… we could go to the hotel near the Angles Club… that’s pretty close…”

For only a second, he froze. But before he had even realized what he was doing, he had already been starting to run.

“I’ll be there in five!”

So much for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *NEET is a Gintama inside joke. It means: Not in Education, Employment, or Training and hence referring to useless people not doing anything


	7. They say the police is really scary, but in reality they're just a bunch of gorillas, idiots and tax-thieves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being an openly gay couple is not easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of my favorite chapters so far.

## They say the police is really scary, but in reality, they're just

## a bunch of gorillas, idiots, and tax-thieves

 

“One set of _omurice_ and pudding please~!*“

As he got the curry rice stuffed inside an omelet pocket, he couldn’t have been happier. They had even bothered to make the typical ketchup waves that made it look even more delicious. Wow! His eyes started to glow like those of a little child. This was the best!

“Here’s your strawberry milkshake as well, Sakata-san.”

Blushing like a high school girl, he chuckled and took it from the man wearing the apron. His voice was pretty high-pitched. “Thanks a bunch!”

“Danna?”

As Gintoki turned around, he encountered a familiar, yet very confused face. In front of him stood a man in uniform with shoulder-long black hair and dull dark eyes. The silver-haired man’s teeth flashed in a smile and he was in a pretty good mood. “Oh! It’s what’s-his-face!”

“IT’S YAMAZAKI! YAMAZAKI, DAMN IT! JUST HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?!”

But Gin just laughed it off and closed his eyes. “Ah, yes. Sorry, sorry! What a nice surprise to see you here!”

“What a nice surprise?! I’m working here, dammit! You’re in the Shinsengumi cafeteria for God’s sake! Of course, you’d meet me here! The question is: what are _you_ doing here?!”

His teeth flashed again and now he seemed pretty cocky as well. “Nuffing, just visiting.”

The Shinsengumi spy really didn’t know how to respond to that. Both men were standing at the end of the line at the Shinsengumi cafeteria’s food counter. The canteen was pretty bustling, it was lunchtime after all. Yamazaki was holding a tablet with curry rice on it. He had just finished his order and got his plate. Seemed like he had been in line just in front of Gintoki, but that sorry bastard had ignored him either way. He at least could have said hello. Sulking, the man in the uniform howled at the samurai in the white yukata.

“You can’t get food here! You’re not even working here!”

“’Course I can!” Gin spat back. “If I pay taxes for your sorry asses, I have the right to eat at your place, too! You’re leeching off on good-hearted citizens anyway!”

“You’re not even paying taxes! Besides, why would you want to eat here of all places?”

“Well, it’s free food and our fridge was empty, so…”

“You’re the leech here!”

“Mah, don’t yell at me! You’re ruining my appetite.” He complained and was picking at his ear, closing one eye.

“Where did you even get that?!” Yamazaki screeched. “We don’t serve kid menus like omurice or pudding! Let alone strawberry milkshake!”

“Sure you do.” The man with the red eyes demonstratively pointed at the day’s menu. “I mean, it took some time convincing your chefs, but they listened to reason in the end. Who the hell do you think made _pancakes_ Wednesday with _parfait_ a thing?!”

“ _This is not your personal drive-in, you know?!”_

“Gah, leave me alone!” Irritated, the silver-haired man started walking to the tables and sat down.

But the Shinsengumi spy followed and seated himself next to him. He didn’t trust him. He was up to something, 100% guaranteed. Still, the child trapped in a man’s body just seemed overly blissful about his food. He slurped his milkshake and started cutting the omelet. Honestly, this guy had some nerves! Waltzing in here and changing their menu… And he had been starting to wonder why they had begun to add so many strange things to their meals. Not that he minded… he actually enjoyed that. Still, he wondered how he did that. Vice Chief Hijikata surely didn’t allow that.

Speaking of which, Yamazaki suddenly realized, he was probably here for the Vice Commander. The man went silent at that thought. He still hadn’t exactly gotten used to the idea of them dating. The thing was, nothing had really changed. So it was easy to forget they had a relationship at all.

Well, that wasn’t exactly true. Since that day, the Yorozuya had been at the barracks quite frequently. He was dropping in from time to time, offering strange new ideas for laws or claiming things at the lost-and-found belonged to him when they clearly didn’t. Also, he had caught him a couple of times, lounging in the Vice Chief’s room reading Jump. After some time, no one really minded anymore and people even started greeting him whenever he was around. Of course, Captain Okita and their Commander always seemed to enjoy his visits, too. So, in just a short amount of time, he seemed to have become a pretty normal guest in these halls.

And all that because the Yorozuya started dating their Vice Chief. Somehow this was still hard to swallow.

“Oh, it’s danna!”

Suddenly, a familiar figure slumped down opposite of them. It was none other than their 1st Division Captain and a plate of _omurice_. The blond man opened his pudding first and started shoving it into his mouth.

“Yo, Okita-kun!” Gintoki grinned. The buddy-like atmosphere between them surprised Yamazaki every time. But maybe sadists always had these kinds of connections, he guessed.

“Whatcha doing here?” Sougo asked casually. “Looking for your boyfriend?”

If that was supposed to tease him, it didn’t work. The samurai smirked instead and gave him a thumbs up. “As if! It’s _omurice_ and _pudding_ Friday! No way I’d miss that!”

“I still can’t believe they actually served you!” The spy complained but was cut off by his captain the instant later.

“Calm down, Yamazaki. Danna’s our guest and he can do whatever he want’s in here.”

“Thanks, Okita-kun. Try telling that to your Vice Commander as well.” Gin grinned.

“I always do, but he just won’t listen.” Okita sighed dramatically. “Honestly, you should dump him.”

“You would like that, wouldn’t you?” The silver-haired samurai appeared amused.

“I’m just saying.” The young officer returned the grin. “But then again, you’re such a _cute_ couple.”

“I know, right?” No way Gin would let himself get picked on by this sadist. He was in too good of a mood.

Yamazaki could see in his captain’s eyes that he wasn’t done, though. The blond man casually ate his meal while keeping on track. He was scheming something, for sure. “So, danna. I´ve been meaning to ask you…”

“Wha’?” he mumbled with his mouth way too full.

A smirk decorated his face. “Was it the drug that brought you two losers together?“

The silver-haired man chuckled deeply, a bit frightening as well. Then, he shrugged and stuffed another piece of omelet between his teeth. “Don’t think I forgave you for that. But no, not really I think.”

“You sure? I remember you two going to a Love Hotel. Wasn’t that when you popped each other’s cherries?” he teased.

A chortle and Gin bestowed a dark gaze upon him, warning him in a very friendly manner. “Popping our cherries? Kehehe, no way. Besides, nothing happened back then.”

“So, does that mean you two lovers haven’t done it yet?”

Gin grinned broader now, snorting. “Tsk, what are you thinking, Okita-kun? Of course, we’ve done it. Plenty of times.”

“So…” Okita leered. “Who’s bottom and who’s top?”

“Well…” Gin had a devilish grin, too. “Topping would be…”

 

A killer kick buried Gintoki’s face in his omurice, almost causing the table to break in two. Frightened, Yamazaki jumped to the side and only now realized the blazing deadly aura looming over them. Behind them, a fuming Hijikata Toushirou hovered, spewing fire.

“Don’t talk so casually about our sex life, you damn perm! I’ll kill you!”

As Okita Sougo was grinning diabolically, Yamazaki knew he had done that on purpose. Surely, he had seen the Vice Commander coming their way. This guy really was a sadistic bastard.

Choking, Gin’s face was covered in egg, rice, and ketchup. He shrieked at him. “Whaaat? What was that for? Don’t be so violent, asshole! AHHH! My precious omurice!!!”

“What are you even doing here, konnoyaro?! I told you thousands of times you’re not welcome here, damn it!”

“You can’t tell me what to do! And I only came here because of the food, damn it!” Gin was in a fighting mood, obviously. “And you ruined it! You’re gonna pay for this, bastard!”

“Oh, _get a life_!”

“Maa, maa, Hijikata-san!” Okita chuckled, eying him. “What kind of behavior is that? He’s our guest!”

“Shut it, Sougo! This is your fault as well!” The black-haired man growled at him. “He’s not allowed here!”

“Oi, oi!” The young man flashed his teeth and dealt another blow. “…Could it be you’re so pissed, Hijikata-san, because you’re bottom?”

The man gawked at him for a second before he yelled. “That’s just none of your business, Sougo!”

“Oh? Did I hit a sore spot?” Chuckling.

The officer’s head was red now and he was fuming with anger. Yamazaki feared he would jump over the table next and strangle him. But, strangely enough, it was Gin who calmed him down. With his usual blunt manner and a raspy growl, he yapped at them both.

“God, _shut up_ you two! Hijikata, sit down already! And you!” He glared at the sadist. “Give me half of your dish! This is your fault!”

Okita shrugged and was awfully cooperative. Was it because of danna? Or was he scheming something else? Yamazaki actually didn’t know anymore.

Hijikata, though, still hadn’t sat down and the spy needed a moment to understand why. Seemed like he was not sure _where_. He could either sit next to the Yorozuya or next to Okita. And he looked like he did not like any of those choices. For one thing, sitting next to the captain would end in a massacre for sure. But sitting next to his… well boyfriend, didn’t seem too appealing to him either. Yamazaki pondered a second before it hit him. His Vice Chief didn’t want to be too intimate with him in public. Especially not in front of his sworn archenemy. The Shinsengumi spy gulped and took pity on him. But he wouldn’t be the police’s gofer if he wouldn’t know how to solve that.

So, he showed mercy and waved at his Chief with a smile. “ _Fukuchyou_ , you can sit he-“

“I _said_ , sit down already!” Before Yamazaki could even finish his sentence, the silver-haired man had already acted. With an annoyed growl, he had simply grabbed his uniform and forced Hijikata to sit down. His eyes closed, he then shoved the omelet Okita had given him into his mouth. The aura around him said one thing only: no talking back. Yamazaki shivered. Really, this guy was a dangerous opponent.

Hijikata was obviously embarrassed, but he overplayed it with rage and a loud growl. He kept his distance to Gintoki and picked up his chopsticks, cussing. Sougo watched them grinning to himself, devilishly. Yamazaki wasn’t even sure anymore if he enjoyed those two together or wanted them to break up. This guy was impossible to read.

While Hijikata was covering his curry with two layers of mayonnaise, he hissed at the man next to him. He was still angry but seemed to have calmed down a bit.  “Why are you here, anyway?”

The silver-haired man pouted, glimpsing at him.  “Do I need a reason to see you? I just wanna.”

So he was here to see him, after all? Yamazaki tried suppressing a smile. That was actually really sweet.

The Shinsengumi second in command blushed a little and hissed louder. “Liar! What did you do?! Are you hiding from your kids again because you didn’t pay their salaries?”

He was sulking for real now. The full package with pursed lips, puffed cheeks, and lowered eyelids. “You’re so rude! I ’ll pay them on time this month! I will! And besides, I figured if we’re going drinking later, I might as well come to your place sooner.”

“We are _not_ going _drinking_!” The cop grinded his teeth.

“Sure we are!” Gin replied, huffy. “Tonight’s the Shinsengumi party at Izaya’s place! Even Zura will come!”

Oh heck, how did he get wind of that? “That’s a private event and you are _not_ invited!”

“I am, too!” He waved towards Okita, who innocently finished his pudding. “Personal invitation.”

And sure as hell, Hijikata got his demon eyes again, his aura freezing. “Sooooooougoooo…”

But the man just smiled and tilted his head. “Oh? By the way, I think I forgot to tell you. Danna is joining us tonight. Aren’t you happy about that?”

He sure was….

 

~ ~ ~

 

The party was in a full swing and everyone was having fun.

Well, not _everyone_.

A certain Vice Chief was sitting between his commander and the Shinsengumi spy, a cigarette in his mouth and a beer in his hand. It did not make him as relaxed as one might suspect. To say he was grumpy was definitely an understatement, but to say he was furious was also not quite fitting. He was pissed off. Still. But at least his devastating aura had been reduced to a silent, contained thunderstorm now. And as long as he was being ignored, he was fine. As long as he didn’t stare into Sougo’s or the Yorozuya’s direction, he was fine. As long as he could feel invisible, he was fine.

Unfortunately, none of these three preconditions were matched.

He couldn’t detain from looking at them as well as he wasn’t ignored at all. Someone was always talking to him, about him, _as_ him, meaning someone imitating his voice. Mostly Sougo. God, he hated this little shit!

 He was mad at him for bringing Gin along. He had done that on purpose. He was waiting for something to happen so he could torture him with it. And where Gintoki went, embarrassment wasn’t far. Hijikata had tried his best to keep the Yorozuya out of his affairs. He wasn’t allowed in the barracks, he wasn’t invited to any meetings, investigations or parties and he wasn’t supposed to come in contact with him at all while he was working.

Gintoki had managed to impede every single one of these attempts.

He was constantly pestering him while being on patrol, chatting him up in front of his co-workers, taking naps in his personal room and messing with their system. Everything he touched turned into chaos. And now this.

Frankly, the dark-haired man had been looking forward to this party. It would have been a nice, quiet celebration with some good food and drinks. Just his co-workers and… well Katsura, but that was another story. It all would have been under control. But with Gintoki here, all of this was like Russian roulette. It was just a matter of time before he would ruin everything. Especially when Sougo was the maniac hosting this event. He couldn’t bear this super sadist duo.

He just wanted to keep his relationship with Gintoki nice and quiet. That’s all he wanted. Was that really too much to ask for?

 

“Vice Chief.”

He looked to the side into a plain face. Yamazaki sat next to him and smiled friendly. He was trying his best to keep his second in command happy. In his hand, he held a bowl with senbei snacks. “You want some?”

Snarling, he took some and closed his eyes. Sitting next to the spy made things a bit calmer, but it didn’t help that much actually. The room was too small to ignore the others. They had rented a small, Japanese style party room. Completely decorated with fusuma doors, tatami mats, a paper lamp and a big, low table in the middle. All of them were sitting on the ground in big, comfortable cushions as a waitress came by from time to time to take new orders. Their table, however, was already bursting over from the variety of food and drinks they had ordered. Well, not him. Mostly Kondou, Katsura, and Gintoki had gone overboard and ordered every last item on the menu.

There weren’t too many of them here, this was a private party for the highest ranked members, after all. Kondou sat in the middle and then, counterclockwise, Hijikata, Yamazaki, Sasaki, Elizabeth, Sougo, and Gintoki followed, finally Katsura presenting the last piece who sat between their commander and the Yorozuya. Meaning that from Hijikata’s right the quiet people sat and from his left onwards the troublemakers were partying. And if he said _partying_ , he meant partying.

Especially the combination Katsura, Gintoki, and Kondou was a lethal one. They had been singing not so long ago, some old stupid war songs. Arms curled around their necks, they had missed every single note and swayed their glasses in the non-existent rhythm of the songs. Of course, there had also been a lot of tears. They were overly emotional men, after all. Something weird connected these three men with each other and Hijikata was pretty sure it was idiocy.

From time to time, he couldn’t refrain to shoot a look to Gintoki. He didn’t particularly mind him, but he wasn’t ignoring him either. At some times, whenever he realized he was looking at him, he endowed a smile upon him. In these moments, the cop quickly started looking somewhere else, of course. He couldn’t stand his attention right now. He still didn’t want him here. Although, he had to admit that he fitted in. Gin was certainly popular and a welcomed guest. Everyone here loved him. He had somehow managed to become best buds with Kondou and Sougo and the rest respected him dearly. He was charming. He had to give him that.

“Nee, Hijikata-dono!”

 

An annoying voice suddenly made him jump. As he turned to the side, he realized that Katsura had switched places with Kondou. The patriot swung his arm around his neck and pressed him against his chest. His typical, stupid laughter was mixed with a strong sour odor coming from his mouth. Alcohol, no doubt.

“Hohohohoho! Hijikata-dono! We haven’t had time to talk! How are you?”

He wasn’t in the mood to talk with him at all, tried to push him away and looked somewhere else. “I’m fine.”

“That’s good to hear, hahaha!”

No, he wasn’t planning on continuing this conversation. He wasn’t planning on asking how he was or if he enjoyed the party or some stupid small talk like that. Instead, he was nipping his beer so he had an excuse not to answer.

“By the way! I wanted to congratulate you on landing Gintoki!”

He almost choked on his breath. With his cheeks red, he hissed at him. “Wh-what?”

His typical, idiotic grin reappeared on his face and he gave him a thumbs up. “We haven’t spoken since you two came out, right? So I haven’t had the chance. I just wanted to tell you: I approve of it. You have my blessing!”

Hijikata couldn’t help it. His eye twitched. Why the hell was he acting like a mother-in-law now? Was it because they were old friends? Best buds? Or why did he have to suffer through such a humiliating procedure? He gulped and tried a smile. It wasn’t very convincing.

“Ah… is that so?”

“Un!” The longhaired man nodded and breathed in dramatically, closing his eyes for an instant. “I mean… yes, I’m a bit disappointed as well. You’re not my _otp_ , but… you’re perfect for each other in another way, I guess. But I’m not a sore loser. And if Gintoki chose you, I will respect his decision. So, all in all, you two have my full support.”

What the fuck was he talking about?

“O… okaay…”

Then, his gaze went even more intense and he came closer. “Forgive me, Hijikata-dono, but I have to ask…” The next moment, his eyes flared up and his voice whispered dramatically. “…which one of you is the man and which one the woman?”

The next second, a gush of beer was snorting out between his lips, directly aiming at Yamazaki, who screamed in a high pitched voice and took flight in panic. He didn’t even realize that kept staring at Katsura instead, eyes torn wide open.

“Wh- _What_?!”

“You know…” He made a suggestive and very offensive gesture. “…who’s doing the deed and who’s enjoying the show? Who’s the bee and who’s the flower? Who’s the mountain and who’s climbing it? Who’s…”

 _Yeah, he got him alright_!

Still, Hijikata was too taken aback to even answer. What the actual fuck?! Why were people so interested in that in the first place?! It was no one’s business, for Pete’s sake! He felt his head getting so warm, it possibly radiated heat by now. Since when was it appropriate to ask people such intimate questions?!

“W-why… do you… even want to… know?” was the only thing he managed to reply, still trying to cope with this much bullshit.

Katsura wined, solemnly. “ _Because I need to know_! Sakamoto keeps suggesting Gintoki’s a bottom, but I can’t take that! I bet 50.000 Yen on him being on top, so I need to know! You’re so softhearted, Hijikata-dono! Surely you can’t resist his charm! You are the receiver, aren’t you?”

Honestly, he couldn’t take this anymore. This had to be the most humiliating moment in his entire life. Yes, even more humiliating than the time he had kneeled down in front of these joui patriots and had begged for forgiveness because of this cursed sword. He didn’t know what to answer and he wasn’t even angry anymore. He was just utterly ashamed.

He couldn’t deal with this sober. So he took a big swing of his beer and emptied it in one go. If he had known that _this_ was what would follow them coming out, he would have reconsidered his choice.

“Hijikata-dono! Hijikata-dono! Why aren’t you answering? Is that a yes? It is, isn’t it?! Come on! Just tell me already! Tell meeeeee!”

 

~ ~ ~

 

“So, danna…”

The blond officer leaned back and laid partly on the tatami mats. Propped on his elbow, his face rested in his hand while he was sipping a flat beer. He eyed him with a tiny smile.

The silver-haired man was leaning back as well, looking down at him with slightly flushed cheeks. He wasn’t drunk, not even tipsy. But it was pretty warm in this room.

“Hm? What is it, Okita-kun?”

He smiled and held his voice down. Seemed like he wanted a rather private conversation. “You really are his boyfriend now, hm?”

A brazen smile and he looked deep into his eyes. “You really can’t stop thinking about it, can you?”

Innocently, he shrugged. “Why, I’m a fan of you both after all. I need some fan service.”

A loud, hearty laughter and Gin turned to him, getting into the same position as him. “Are you, hm? That’s why you drugged him? And handcuffed us together? Because you’re a fan boy?”

“The only reason.” he jested. “I’m a big GinxHiji shipper, to be honest.”

“Now everything becomes clear.” Gintoki joked as well and took a large swing of his beer.

“So, will you tell me who was the one confessing?”

A little unsettled, suspicious even, he eyeballed him. “You really wanna know?”

“Of course. Give me the full story!”

Gin chuckled. “How about you guess?”

Sougo grinned, teasingly. “I guess it was Hijikata-san, with his head flushed and acting like a school girl.”

Another honest laugh. “Wow, you really are a GinxHiji shipper, hm? But no, sorry.”

“Huh? So _you_ confessed?”

“No.” He smirked and was the one teasing him now. “You know… sometimes you don’t need words to show another person how you feel.”

“Touché.” Still, he was sticking to his guns. “How long have you known?”

“What?”

“That you’re madly in love with him.”

Gin’s grin didn’t break and he seemed pretty amused. “Wow, somehow I’m the one feeling like a high school girl now. Girls talk about your crushes.”

He smiled benignly. “I’m not the one with a crush, danna.”

“Clearly.”

“You won’t answer me?”

“I’m guessing you’re still trying to find out about if your little digression into the drug dealer kingdom did the trick?”

“Maybe.” A little smirk.

“Fine.” And he was reciprocating it. “…I guess it made things clearer for me, yes. But I also still want to kick your ass for that. That definitely went too far.”

Smugly, he took a sip of his beverage. “Why, did something happen in the Love Hotel?”

“No, and if it did, you’d be in hospital by now.”

“Whoa, scary.” Really, this little sadist couldn’t stop smirking. “You still haven’t told me who’s top and who’s bottom between you two.”

Gin tilted his head, still smiling, but less genuine now. “You sure love torturing him, hm?”

“Why, I am only curious.”

“And why’s that, I wonder. Don’t tell me you’re interested in men as well? Need help confessing? Need some tips and tricks?”

“Not really, I like women better.”

“Well, then I can’t help you.”

Sougo’s gaze went deeper and got just a hint more serious. “You wanted to tell me this afternoon. Why not now? He’s not gonna hear.”

“Doesn’t matter.” Gin stared back just as serious with a trace of a smile. “He doesn’t want you to know, so I’m not telling. ‘s not like it’s your business anyway.”

A few seconds, Okita Sougo was silent. They stared at each other in a battle of wills, had been doing so from the beginning. Behind their smiles, both men knew exactly that they had been scrutinizing each other. They were alike, after all. So when the blond officer realized he wouldn’t give in, a smile reappeared on his lips and he shrugged.

“What a bummer. I thought you were open about that. You’re giving me nothing.”

“Hm.” Gin smiled, too, but his gaze cut deep. “Say what you want… you’re actually looking out for him, aren’t you? Making sure I’m serious about him?”

“Hmph.” For a second, Sougo’s eyes went sharper as well and his lips were curling up just a bit. “…Say what you want… but you truly are in love with him. Ain’t that right?”

“Touché.” He answered with a broad smile.

 

For a long moment, both men shared a gaze that went deeper than ever before. Still, neither of them was good at keeping it. Sougo was simply the first to break the silence with a mocking chuckle.

“I’m surprised, though, danna. And there I thought you were a sadist and loved being the dominant one.”

“What makes you think that ain’t the case?”

“Nothing. Just a feeling.” He looked away for a moment and then glanced back again. “You wanna get on his good side by defending his honor?”

“’Course!” He winked. “I wanna get some love tonight, after all.”

“He’s still pretty mad at you for being here, though.”

“Nah, don’t worry. I can handle him. Besides, you’re just as much my friends as you are his. He can’t prevent me from drinking with my buddies.”

Acknowledging that compliment, Sougo nodded to the other side of the table. “You should keep an eye on him, then. Before he’ll leave the party early.”

Curious, the man with the silver locks followed his direction and saw Katsura pestering his boyfriend. The head of the latter was looking like a steam engine. Annoyed, Gintoki growled and yapped at him.

“Oi, Zura! Leave him alone! I already told you to let it go!”

Surprised, the patriot stared at him and started shaking his fist. “It’s not Zura, it’s Katsura!”

“Tsk, honestly.” Gintoki rolled his eyes and closed them altogether then.

Sougo just watched him and couldn’t suppress a smile. Yeah, he had to admit it. He liked them together.

 

~ ~ ~

 

Some time had passed and a lot of alcohol had flowed. A lot of it into Hijikata’s stomach. He was feeling more than tipsy now. He was drunk. Definitely. Though he was in that kind of phase where he still had control over his thoughts, or at least he thought he had. Nothing was blurring yet, no one had twins and the earth was also pretty stable. He felt more relaxed now, at least not bothered anymore. Katsura had given up in the end and after that, he had kept himself busy with talking to Yamazaki and Sasaki. They were easy to talk to, it was basically just small talk. It helped him to forget what had happened. And so, one might even say he had a pleasant time.

Yamazaki was telling a little story right now and Hijikata tried to listen. He was losing track easily, though. For some unknown reason, it got harder and harder to concentrate. He was blinking more often now and his head felt heavy. Every sip of his beer seemed to make it better. A convenient illusion indeed. All the more was he flinching when someone slumped down next to him the instant later. He felt someone coming very close, basically cuddling up to him. Of course, there was only one person who would do that.

As he stared into red eyes, he felt an arm curling around his back to his waist, holding him tight. His smile was annoyingly happy.

“Hey, you~”

A grunt, of course. But his rage had cooled down and he just looked away. “Urgh, a moron appeared…”

“Hahaha, you’re so mean, Hijikata-kun.” For some strange reason, the man didn’t seem drunk at all. He didn’t like that. “And here I thought I’d do you a favor.”

“Favor?” He slurred. “Why’s that?”

“Well, because you´ve been staring at me from time to time. I thought you might be lonely, so I came over.”

“Tsk. Like hell…. You’re annoying, go away.”

“But we barely spent time with each other today. I was genuinely looking forward drinking with you, you know?”

He just couldn’t deal with him. He pissed him off, and yet… his closeness paired with the alcohol made him weak. His heart had an irregular rhythm already and he yearned for him more than he wanted to admit. His cheerful face didn’t make it better one bit.

“Shut up…”

Gintoki chuckled and came even closer. His fingers softly dug into his side and stroked over his kimono. It was enough to make the cop shiver and his heart beat faster. Hijikata had to hold his breath and felt the effect of the alcohol kicking in. Damn it…

“Oi!” Suddenly, Sougo cheered from the other side of the table, a cheeky smile glued to his lips.  “Come one, show me some love, you two! You guys barely interacted tonight. This is boring! Make out or something!”

Embarrassed as always, Hijikata hissed at him, giving a warning glare. He was slurring badly now. “This is not your private peep show, Sougo. You just want to tease us.”

“Aww, unfair Hijikata-san. I really want to see some sugar. Not even a kiss?”

“No.” he protested, but then, out of nowhere, a pair of lips pressed themselves against his cheeks.

 

Panicky, his eyes widened and he stared at the wrongdoer. “What are you doing, bastard?!”

Gin just snickered. “Aw, come on. Don’t be like that.”

His head went hot and he couldn’t tell anymore if it was because of the shame or because of the anger. “Shut up! Don’t touch me! Why are you two always teaming up against me?!”

His blond subordinate laughed, amused. “How cute~! Hijikata-san’s such a tsundere.”

“He’s right.” Gin joined in, still holding him tight. “It´s just a kiss, don´t be so shy.”

“I'M NOT SHY!”

Suddenly, Kondou was laughing too and appeared behind them. He hugged them both with his large arms and tousled their hair. “Oh, you two! You’re so funny!”

As Hijikata’s head was jammed against the rough cheek of his commander, he moaned. “Not you too, Kondou-san…”

But said man turned to Gin instead and hugged him sociably. “You guys can do whatever you want! But listen, Yorozuya! Don’t go embarrassing Toshi all the time! You have to take care of him properly, you hear me? I won’t allow you messing with him!”

Suddenly, Hijikata gulped and was moved by his words. “Kondou-san…”

“Would I ever?!” The samurai laughed amused. “Alright, alright Gorilla! I got it!”

“Right?! So, in return, you’re giving Otae and me your blessing? We’ll soon be brothers-in-law, after all. Ne? Neee?”

“Yeah, sure. Call me when you wake up from your pipe dream, will ya?” he replied, deadpan.

And as Kondou started bitching about that, Toushirou started drinking again. His face was dark and omitting a defeated aura. Was there really no one here on his side? No one?

 

~ ~ ~

 

He didn’t exactly remember how he got here. When he opened his eyes again, he was leaning against the wall, staring into the room. The clock showed something late, though he wasn’t able to make out the exact time, no matter how hard he squinted. The room was a mess, there were empty bottles laying everywhere. Kondou-san was topless for some reason and had a profound talk with Katsura who had a tie wrapped around his head. Where did he even get that? Next to them, Yamazaki was sleeping on the table and Sougo was adorning his face with a few sophisticated drawings with a permanent marker. Elizabeth was ushering Sasaki to drink and the poor boy had no choice but to obey.

Mumbling lowly, Hijikata held his head and closed his eyes. He had a throbbing pain behind his forehead and his throat was dry. Did he pass out? He couldn’t remember what happened. He was grateful for the wall in his back because he felt pretty woozy.

“Want something to drink?”

As he looked to the side, he saw a crooked smile and a hand holding a glass of water. Squinting his eyes, he needed a few seconds to understand what was going on. Then, thankful, he took a big swing and emptied the glass in one go. With a moist sound, he exhaled and licked his lips. The person next to him purloined his glass and put it somewhere safe. He heard his deep voice chuckling.

“Wow, you’re wasted.”

“Shaddup…” he slurred and squinted anew.

The next second, he felt him coming closer, drawing him into a hug. When he smelled his scent creeping up his nose, he shivered and couldn’t deny how good that felt. Suddenly, Gintoki was everywhere, surrounding him from every angle. He felt his arm wrapped around his back, holding him tight, his nose stroking his forehead and his breath foaming against his lips. It messed with him bad. He gulped and shifted, unsettled. Instinctively, he lifted his head and tried to keep his eyes open to look at him. He could only see his smirk and his red eyes, though.

Next thing he knew, he felt something pressing against his throat. A finger dug itself into the soft skin under his chin and ushered him closer. Their lips grazed each other for the split of a second. Feeling his breath on his face, Gin’s hand moved, cupping his cheek now, running his thumb above his lower lip.

Hijikata’s breath rattled and he felt his mind blanking. It was the alcohol for sure. He couldn’t help it. Instinctively, he turned towards him and closed his eyes, opened his lips. He couldn’t see Gintoki grinning at that, but he could feel him closing the last distance and smashing their lips together. It elicited a soft, suppressed moan from Hijikata and poured oil into the fire. Yearningly, he threw himself into the kiss and leaned into him, grabbing the first thing he got a hold of. Clawing his fingernails into his shirt, he tugged him closer and deepened the kiss.

Mindlessly, Hijikata was blocking out his surroundings and seized the Yorozuya. His tongue hungrily opened his mouth to get what it wanted. His kiss was demanding and desperate. He felt the blood rushing through his veins, gathering inside his lower body and messing up his head. Breathlessly, he wanted more and let his fingers ran through bushy silver locks. In response, Gintoki tightened the grip around him and drew him happily into the kiss. He could feel him moaning softly and he found that so damn sexy.

Yet, way too soon, the silver head ended the kiss and ushered him back. Flustered and yet awfully levelheaded, this bastard chuckled and combed through his hair. “Slow down, Hijikata-kun… we’re in public after all…”

Grunting, he grinded his teeth. He just had to remind him, hadn’t he? Though, Hijikata was still pretty smashed and had a hard time keeping his eyes open to see. His arousal didn’t make it better. “Lezz… go home then…”

A lewd, amused grin flickered crossed his eyes and he smiled dirtily. “Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?”

Another snort and he tried to bite him. “…want you…”

A strange sound was making him flinch. It was a _klick_ and it was coming from inside the room. As the intoxicated officer turned around, he was able to make out a camera and a blond head behind it.

“That’s it, you two. Just like that.”

As Hijikata grunted annoyed, Gin just laughed. “You would make a brilliant paparazzi, wouldn’t you?”

Sougo’s teeth flashed and he started hitting the record button over and over again. “Come one, show me some love!”

“Alright~!” The brazen samurai chuckled and started posing. “But only if I get some copy’s for free!”

“Why you little-“

But the cop couldn’t finish his sentence because Gin was all over him the next second. He started placing kisses on his forehead and hugging him like a teddy bear. Much to Sougo’s pleasure, obviously.

Hijikata just screeched and began freeing himself by shoving and punching. “Let go, you maniac! ”

He didn’t. Of course not. Instead, he started doing the victory sign and the rabbit ears for Hijikata. Okita got a whole series of them cuddling, brawling, kissing and finally Gin getting punched in the face. The officer jumped out of the way when Hijikata attempted to get him next. Good thing the guy was so hammered, he couldn’t even get up anymore. Cussing, he tried getting to his feet but failed. And of course, Sougo made a series of memorial photos about that, too. He stopped though, when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

Gintoki was grinning at him. “That's enough Okita-kun. I’m taking him home now. Don't forget to send me the prints.”

“Are you?” He chuckled, pleased. “You’re a sly man, danna.”

“What?” Innocently, he buckled down to his boyfriend and picked him up. “’s not like I planned this.”

“Sure you didn’t.” The blond man seemed pretty content. He liked him best in his sadistic role. Especially when they could team up teasing Hijikata. “Well then, have fun.”

A last grin and a wink, and he was saying goodbye to the others while shouldering a softly grunting but yet very harmless Vice Chief. Sougo couldn’t refrain from taking one last picture. He would make a photo collage out of this. With a big heart and their photos in the middle. Well placed in the cafeteria.

 

~ ~

 

“Let me just prepare the futon first.”

He didn’t let him. With all the strength he had left, he shoved him against the wall and started savaging him. The little walk to this place, wherever he was, had been enough to recover some of his strength. Enough at least to take what he wanted, if necessary by force. This bastard had toyed enough with him tonight. He was going to make him pay.

Pushing him against the wall, grabbing his behind and pressing him into his erection, the Vice Commander was not holding back anymore. His kisses were hard and relentless, demanding and craving. He was still angry with him. For all the jokes he had made on his account and how he had riled him up and also that he seemed to be so much more sober than him. Damn perm!

Said perm wasn’t refusing him, but he didn’t really seem into it either. He kissed him back but was rather passive. Unfortunately, Hijikata was too smashed to realize that, so, in the end, Gintoki had to push him away a little to interrupt the kiss. He chuckled smugly and the cop found that both extraordinarily aggravating and erotic at the same time.

“Wow, you really are going all out, huh? Want my joystick that badly?”

“Shut it…” he slurred and held him tight, dug his fingers into his rear. “’m sick of ‘em askin’ ‘bout our sex life…”

“And so now you need to reassure yourself you’re the one stuffing me?” A chuckle, though he wasn’t exactly amused.

“…no…” the cop replied unsurely and clearly had a hard time collecting his thoughts, let alone words. “…you tell ‘em?”

“No.” he still smiled while tracing his fingers through black hair. “I mean, I wouldn’t mind telling them, but I didn’t. Why’re you so paranoid about that anyway? You’re the one fucking my brains out on a regular basis.”

That question was definitely too much for the shit-faced drunk man. He opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came.

Gintoki smiled at that and gave him a short, soft kiss. “Yeah, don’t worry. I get it. It’s no one’s business. But, you know… you only make yourself suspicious by acting that way.”

A grunt and he tried kissing him back but ended up hitting his neck. Good enough, he thought and began sucking it, biting him softly. “…u finished now…?”

The silver head bit his lips and felt his pulse rushing through them, pulsating against his throat. “I’m just saying… who’s bottom and who’s top… really doesn’t matter, does it? If you’re acting like it’s shameful to be on the receiving end, you’re making me feel like you’re looking down on me.”

It took him a few seconds filled with biting and licking and grabbing, until he got what he was saying. He paused for a second and breathed against his throat. “…’m not…”

“Well, I should hope so!” he jested and stroked his hair down to his temple. “…I love it when you’re dominant and taking the lead… like right now. You’re so damn hot when you’re topping me.”

Hijikata was too drunk to blush, but he still gulped and felt his heart dance. Clearly confused, he didn’t really know how to reply. “…’re… sexy, too...”

Gin had to swallow a chortle and closed his eyes, nudging his face. “…All I’m saying is… don’t care too much what people will say. And be a little proud that you’re nailing me.”

“…I am…” he slurred.

That brought a genuine smile on his lips for the first time. Affectionately, Gintoki pulled his face close to his own and tilted his head down so he could see into Hijikata’s half-opened eyes. “See? So next time someone asks who’re you’re dating, you’re gonna say you’re banging the hottest silver-haired man in town.”

He grunted lowly and even dead drunk, he somehow managed to get embarrassed. “…’m not gonna say that…”

“Fine then.” He chuckled and leaned back against the wall, eying him with a smug smile. “Then, how about you say it now?”

“…what?”

“That you wanna fuck the hottest silver head in town right now, right here.” Gintoki was teasing him, Hijikata realized even now, but he didn’t mind that much.

Instead, he pinned him against the wall and bit his lip. “…u wan’ me to say it?”

“…Yes, please~”

Grabbing his ass with both hands, he whispered in his ear. “…fine… I… wanna fuck you… here n… now…”

Well, close enough. Gintoki was aware he wasn’t going to get anything more specific out of him, not in his current state at least. He enjoyed it, though. Seemed like this idiot still hadn’t realized they were in his room in the barracks. And that he was about to break his strict no-sex-in-the-barracks-rule. That aroused the silver head even more and gave him a real kick for some reason. Happily, he raised his arms and cupped Hijikata’s cheeks with both hands. With a last cheeky comment, he pulled him closer into a passionate kiss.

“There you go~.”

 

It only lasted a few moments, though. He couldn’t help it. He just had to laugh.

Chortling loudly, barely being able to suppress a gleeful grin, Gin wrested his head from the cop’s fiery but ultimately sloppy attempt to seduce him. What had been intended as a fierce making-out, had turned out to be a messy kissing, unsexy grunting and a groping that had made him ticklish. Hijikata’s drunken state had turned out to be a major turn-off. Not. Sexy. At. All.

As the dark haired man stared at him in confusion, Gin giggled. “Stop that! I feel like I’m being licked by a dog! Ugh!”

“…what…”

“Honestly now… how am I supposed to get in the mood like this? That’s simply impossible!” he jested.

The cop couldn’t follow him, seemed confused and also a bit angry. “…huh?”

A doting smile glued to his lips, Gin gave him a short kiss and stroked his hair. “Come on, let’s go to bed. It’s late and I’m tired.”

All Hijikata understood was “bed”, so he doubtlessly didn’t get his intention at all. “…okay…” he replied in a hushed, throaty voice.

Chuckling, Gin tipped against his nose and started moving. He prepared their futons and changed clothes, helped Hijikata doing the same. Every time the cop wanted to kiss him again, he just shoved him away gently and eventually pushed him down onto his futon. Seeing the man struggling to pull him down into a kiss, was an extra treat. He was so boozed. He gave him two minutes maximum before he would doze off. Enjoying the view, Gintoki cuddled up to him and made himself comfortable on his chest, letting his fingers run through his hair while watching him. The drunk idiot slurred his name and tried touching him, but wound up slamming his hand into his cheek. Carefully, Gin took said hand and intertwined their fingers.

“Lay still already. It’s sleepy time.”

As he whispered his name longingly once more, Gin really couldn’t suppress a blissful smile. His heart was nearly bursting from all the love he found there.

  _Such a cutie pie_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Omurice (a mixture of omelet and rice) is very typical Japanese omelet filled with rice and is generally considered a children’s dish in Japan. Look up some pictures!


	8. Hands off!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because so many of you were waiting for this.
> 
> After a lot of teasing, here's a little something-something for you hentai. Enjoy XD
> 
> Warning: mature content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're not in the mood for smut, feel free to skip to the next chapter. You'll not regret it.

## Hands off!

When he opened the door, he looked into the startled face of a little teenage girl. Her big, blue eyes were gazing at him, as she tilted her head and examined him.

“Huh? Toshi? Whatcha doing here?”

The policeman had dark rings under his eyes and observed her with a hint of reservation. He was hesitating, struggling still, but in the end, he sighed and got it over with.

“I need to kill a few hours here, do you mind?”

The redheaded alien girl eyeballed him for an instant, but then she grinned more dirtily than he expected any 14-year-old girl would do. “You wanna flirt with Gin-chan, ain’t that about right?”

An irritated grunt and he lifted his arm to guide her attention to a pile of files stuffed under his armpits. “God no. I need to work and I can’t do it in the barracks.”

She gave in more easily than usual. Distracted, she put on her shoes and got her umbrella out of the closet. “Yeah, whatever. I was about to leave, anyway. You can use the apartment however you want. But no smoking!”

“You’re going out?” was the redundant question. He didn’t expect that. Suddenly, he felt like it was his fault she said that now. He didn’t want her to leave her own apartment, after all.

“Yeah, I’m going shopping with the girls.” Her face was bright and she was obviously excited. She smiled at him. “And then we’re going to the movies!”

“Oh… I see…”

“Gin-chan’s out, too, so you have the apartment to yourself. Tell him, I’ll come home late today, will ya?”

The black-haired man was a little taken aback. Wow, this was even more convenient than he had expected. Coming to the Yorozuya’s place was definitely not his first choice, but if he had the room for himself, this was actually the best solution. Wordlessly, he stared at the little alien girl and nodded. Kagura grinned cheekily and winked at him.

“Next time, treat me to Korean BBQ, will ya?”

“O-okay…” How could he possibly resist this little gal’s smile?

“Great! See ya around, then!” And like this, she dashed off and slammed the door shut behind him.

A quite puzzled Hijikata Toushirou remained in the Yorozuya’s entrance. For a few silent seconds, he just stood there and stared into the room. This had turned out better than he had anticipated. So, without wasting any more time, he took off his shoes and entered the room. It was impossible to restrain a quiet “ _shitsureishimasu_ ” while entering, though no one would hear. It was just common courtesy.

Just as Kagura had said, the apartment was deserted. It felt really _odd_ being here alone. Like a foreign object thrown into another world. He wasn’t supposed to be here, even though none of the three would be against it, he guessed. Still, he never had been here alone and it made him feel uncomfortable. So, quickly, without leaving much of a trace, he went into Gintoki’s room and shut himself in, closing the fusuma and opened the window to the balcony. It was a warm and nice day and some birds were chirping outside.

The heavy documents he had brought with him, crashed down on the table and found their place next to a coffee can, which he had just gotten from a vending machine outside. The policeman didn’t waste a single second, he sat down and opened the folders, spreading them out on the tatami mats in chronological order. He stripped his jacket and unbuttoned his vest, fished a pen from inside his pocket and started writing. God, he really had a shitload of paperwork to do.

Why did he come to the Yorozuya’s of all places to work on a case? It was a short story, actually. He hadn’t been able to sleep properly for the last nights and the days had been equally exhausting thanks to a certain blond coworker of his. Since the night they had been drinking together, Hijikata had been busy burning all the photos Sougo had been distributing. And hell, they were _everywhere_. From personal leaflets being handed out during morning training to a shower of modified photos raining down the ceiling and an e-mail newsletter titled “The newest gossip about Hijikata Tsun-Tsun”. He even found one of the photos in his wallet and for some reason or another, he had a hard time throwing that one away. So he had put it into the back part of his wallet, where no one would see.

His subordinates pretended they didn’t care, but Hijikata knew some of them were secretly laughing at him. He would make them commit seppuku for it. He couldn’t stand working there anymore. Not with such a big case about to go down. They had been monitoring a few drug lords for some time now and he recently got some Intel that there would be a big meeting soon. They still needed to find out when and where, though and he was working restlessly on it. A lot of citizens had already fallen victim to the drugs. There was a rich palette going around, too. From the usual soft drugs to hardcore stuff to get high, poison someone or making people lose their memories. There even had been cases of drugs that rejuvenated people. He had seen a lot of cases where people aged ten years backwards to _be young again_ or frustrated married couples who mixed the drug into the food or drinks of their spouses to make them more attractive.

In short, a lot of weird things were going around. And he was adamant about stopping it. The _harusame_ pirates may have been destroyed, but that didn't mean the black marked stopped getting drugs. Since it was extraterrestrial business concerning the health of the national body, the Shinsengumi was in charge. And because most of his _dear respected colleagues_ were goofing off the whole day anyway, he didn’t have any other choice than to make it his project. Sometimes he felt like he was the only one actually working at this godforsaken place…

Well, Yamazaki and Sasaki were the only two exceptions, he guessed. The spy was busy scouting the drug deals and the bulky boy with the big sparkling eyes was getting him the remaining information. As for Kondou, he was stalking his beloved Otae again and was barely in the barracks in the first place. And Sougo… well, Sougo was being a dick and spent all of his time scheming new ways to torture him, like always.

Long story short, that’s how he ended up here. He needed to go someplace quiet, where he could work without anyone interrupting him. Gintoki’s place was by far the last resort, but since he couldn’t investigate in a public space this had to do. He couldn’t think of a better place and honestly, this had turned out just fine. With all the troublemakers gone, he could really get things done for a change. So, lucky him, he guessed.

The grumpy policeman engulfed himself in the papers and sipped his coffee from time to time. He categorized them into groups, made out patterns and wrote down notes of any possible connections. He analyzed their territories and the customers, compared the victims and buyers and the background of the dealers. It was the kind of work he actually enjoyed. Well, this and going into action cutting down criminals. He loved being a policeman, now more than ever. He felt like he could really make a difference with his work.

 

Hijikata Toushirou was so absorbed in his paperwork that he didn’t realize how fast time passed. Only two little breaks were squeezed into his working marathon and he spent them smoking on the balcony, eating an onigiri and using the bathroom. It was late afternoon by the time a noise made him flinch. It was the powerful shoving of a fusuma door at the entrance, accompanied by a whistling from someone whose voice he would recognize in any situation now. Well, it wasn’t hard to guess who would waltz in here, anyway. It was his home after all.

Hijikata didn’t bother to do anything other than to keep on working. He was scribbling down some notes about a certain drug dealer named _Testujin_ * and decided to keep quiet until Gin would notice him on his own.

It didn’t take him long, though. He casually heard him doing some things in the kitchen, switching on the TV and fangirling about Ketsuno Ana before he suddenly opened the fusuma to his room. Well, at least he had tried. Ignoring him, Hijikata kept analyzing his papers and hoped he would just leave him be.

But of course, that didn’t happen. The silver-haired man was genuinely startled to see him sitting in his room surrounded by a shitload of paper stuff. The disbelief only lasted a few seconds, however, until he started smiling.

“Oh my, what I nice surprise~”

“Welcome home…” was the disheartened answer of his boyfriend who still didn’t bother to look at him. “Mind letting me work here for a bit? China said it’s okay.”

Amused, Gintoki circulated the documents and scrutinized him. “You, working at my place? You got to be kiddin’ me. How do I owe the pleasure?”

“…Sougo…” A pretty self-explanatory response.

And Gin chuckled. “I see. Well, I should thank him then. You never come by my place. I was starting to get lonely.”

For only a moment, his eyes darted to him and he wasn’t exactly pleased. “Suits you right. You shamelessly exploited my drunken state. I’m still pissed at you for that.”

“I did _what_?” Grinning, the head of the household buckled down and eyeballed him. “Come on, I was being a gentleman the whole evening. You really have nothing to be angry about.”

Hijikata didn’t intend going there. He wanted to work, after all. So he stared back at his papers and pretended to read them. “In any case, I came here because this is the only place where I can work in relative peace. Do you mind? I’m really busy right now.”

The samurai couldn’t stop grinning and was going through the sheets now, trying to figure out what they were. “Fine, fine. What are you even working on?”

“Drug case.”

“And?”

“Nothing that should concern you.”

He was giggling. “Damn, you’re cranky today.”

Hijikata closed his eyes and still tried his best ignoring him. He could see a throbbing vain on his temple, though. So Gin stood up and walked up to him, circling around the folders. With a low chortle, he kneeled down behind him and cuddled up to him, throwing his arms around his belly, kissing his neck.

“You seem tired. Let’s take a break together. I bet I can turn that frown upside down.”

“No, thanks.” He showed no sign of affection and started scribbling in his notebook again. “As I said, I’m busy.”

“Oh, come on~.” A deep, seductive chuckle pouring out of his throat, he nibbled at his ear and let his fingers circle over his chest. “Kagura’s not here and Shinpachi’s at an Otsu concert. We shouldn’t waste this opportunity. Let’s get a bit kinky…”

As his tongue grazed his neck and his hand wandered down towards his crotch, Gintoki was confident of his victory. This usually always did the trick. So, understandably, he was quite taken aback, when the cop shoved his elbow in his face and pushed him back. His tone was pretty harsh.

“Leave me alone, I mean it. I came here to work and that’s all. Keep it in your pants, will you?”

Almost a little shocked, he stared at him and pursed his lips. He had been really happy to see him here but seemed like this bastard didn’t come to see him after all. That made him a little mad, to be honest.

“Hmph, fine. When will you take a break then?”

“Later.”

“Anything more specific?”

“No.”

“Tsk, damn workaholic…” Pissed off, Gintoki got on his feet again and trudged to the door. He stopped there for a moment as if he was not sure of whether he should stay or go. Seemed like he decided to take it like an adult. A heavy sigh and he glared at him. “…Want a glass of water?”

It took a very long moment before he answered. He couldn’t look at him, didn’t want to either. Once he would decide to deal with him, this would be over. He needed all of his concentration for the case, so he would endure a huffy Gin for that sake. Eventually, however, he managed to voice a low reply. “…Yeah, thanks…”

A few minutes later, Gintoki put the glass on his table and obediently disappeared into the living room. He slouched down on the couch to watch TV next, though he had the decency to lower the volume. It was still pretty loud and distracting, but after some time Hijikata managed to get used to it. More diverting than the TV sound, however, was the thought of Gintoki being in the next room. It made him a bit edgy, to be honest. He didn’t want to be so rude to him, but he knew he had to show him a cold shoulder. It was basically the only thing that worked against his clinginess. And as long as he needed to work, he would keep this up.

If he was completely honest with himself, he wanted to take a break and he wanted to spend the time with him. He wanted to share a coffee or two and ask him about his day. He wanted to hear one of his pointless stories and gaze at the crooked smile on his lips. He wanted to enjoy his company.

His heartbeat accelerated just a bit at this thought before he chased it back into the dark corner it came from. Not now. Once he gave in, he wouldn’t be able to work for even another second today. And he really wanted to work. So he tried his best to ignore every sign of life coming through the almost closed sliding door and buried his head in the case.

Meanwhile, Gin was waiting. He was waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting. It wasn’t like he was genuinely angry with him. He was just a bit disappointed and miffed and frankly, even a little jealous. Hijikata often showed him a cold shoulder while he was working, but today he appeared especially stubborn about it. And there he had been really thrilled to find him here. Still, he tried to be a responsible boyfriend, for once. But that turned out to be a lot more difficult than he had anticipated.

He couldn’t relax with him bending over the table behind that paper door. He heard him scribbling and grunting from time to time. The TV wasn’t that exciting either. And after he gulped down not one but three big glasses of strawberry milk, he didn’t know what to do anymore. Well, he knew what he _could_ do, but frankly, there was always something he would rather like to do. And that was spending time with that bastard on the other side. So, he was in a bit of a pinch.

Somehow, Gin managed to keep up this charade for a bit more than half an hour. An impressive accomplishment, in his opinion at least. But by then, he had enough. Why should he have him let his way, anyway? This was his house and he was his boyfriend. If he wanted to spend time with him, then he had every right to do so!

So, he decided to take action. Bluntly, he opened the fusuma to his room again and peeked at the cop. His face was a bit glum. He was sulking.

“… _Later_ has been a long time ago…”

Hijikata didn’t react for a while and his voice was gruff when he finally squeezed something out. “I need to work.”

“…You said that already…”

“That doesn’t make it any less true, does it?”

“…I feel stupid being over there when you are here.”

“Then go outside. I’m sure there’s a Pachinko machine with your name on it.”

“Want to chase me out of my own home? And you call yourself a cop?”

“Do I need a search warrant to be here?”

“No, but you could at least be nice to me when you’re occupying my room for your drug business.”

Hijikata was grinding his teeth now, his tone rougher than he had intended. “If you want me to leave, just say it.”

“…I don’t want you to leave…” he responded, still fretting. “…But sitting over there is just weird.”

“Alright, then do whatever you want. Just let me work in peace, will you?”

 

He had been waiting for something along the lines of that. With a small smirk, he opened the door even more and waltzed into the room equipped with a Jump magazine. Before Hijikata could even realize, he slumped down behind him and leaned his back against his, using it as a pillow. Obviously pleased, he browsed through the pages and hummed a song.

As the policeman felt his weight pressing against his back, he stiffened for a second. Another throbbing vain decorated his forehead, but he breathed in deeply and tried to keep calm. Well, it was his own fault, it seemed. But he could deal with that, he guessed. As long as he didn’t talk, he could still ignore him. So the blue-eyed man let him do as he pleased and started working again. It was harder now, though, because he couldn’t move around so much. He endured it either way and started taking some notes instead.

They remained like this for a rather long time. Hijikata was bending his back from time to time, grabbing a paper or scratching his neck. Gintoki adjusted himself every time and read his manga in peace. It wasn’t super comfortable, at least not in the long run, but he genuinely enjoyed the closeness. It was a strangely peaceful moment, to be honest, and Gin could even relax. He was sliding down even further, though, until his head was leaning against Hijikata’s rips in the end. The only sound left in the room was the scribbling of a pen and a scrolling through pages. 

It was only when Gintoki was reading the newest chapter of _One Piece_ that his _good behavior_ started to crumble. He couldn’t help it. Whenever he saw Nami’s gigantic boobs, he kind of felt _distracted_. It wasn’t like he was a particular fan of big ones, he just liked boobs in general. And Nami was one of the hottest babes in the series, at least in his opinion. He liked her cheeky comments and her rotten character. And well, her boobs, to be frank.

Instinctively, he bit his lip and felt the arousal spiraling through his intestines. He was still hot for this idiot behind him, but his _no_ had been pretty direct and genuine. But they hadn’t had sex for over a week now and he was getting unsettled. Normally, he didn't mind _playing with himself_ a little just to relieve some pressure. But this week, he just hadn’t been in the mood. He wanted to do it with him, after all. So he was pretty edgy right now and basically, everything had the potential to make him horny. Like being close to a handsome cop or, well, Nami’s boobs. God, he liked her boobs.

A few moments, he pondered what to do. He tried ignoring it at first and dedicated himself to finishing the chapter. He wasn’t an animal, after all. But when another hot chick made her appearance and flaunted her rack, he knew he was doomed. Well, who the hell was he kidding? He wanted it. He just had to find a way to set this bastard in the mood, too. Chewing on his lips, he set the magazine aside and pondered.

 

Hijikata was glaring into nothingness, deep in thoughts. He had been very pensive for a while now but felt his head stinging. He needed a break. He knew it. And yet, it was hard to admit it, especially with Gintoki behind him. Also, he wanted to keep on working. So he closed his eyes and tried collecting his thoughts, relaxing for a second. There had to be a connection he was overlooking…

An odd sound caused him to lose his train of thought. At first, he couldn’t pin it down, had no idea what it was. He only knew it sounded metallic and muffled. As he concentrated on it, he realized Gin was moving. Then, suddenly, the image was pretty clear. He was unfastening his belt and shoving away his yukata.

Hijikata didn’t make much of it, though. So what? Maybe he had eaten too much and felt like he was getting fat. He tried to concentrate on his papers again, but the sounds didn’t stop. A new, slow noise penetrated his ear and this one was easier to recognize. It was the yanking down of a zipper. The policeman didn’t understand the exact dimension of that until he heard a rustling of clothes and an almost inaudible wet squelch and a soft humming.

“Hmm~”

More than just confused, his head turned around. He couldn’t move much without robbing Gintoki of his _cushion_ , but he managed to get a glimpse of what was happening. He held his breath when his hunch turned out pretty accurate.

“What… what the hell are you doing?”

Gin realized he couldn’t see his face, but he knew he would hear his smug grin. So he swallowed a moan and kept his voice low, raspy and seductive. Yet, his comment was as blunt as ever.

“Masturbating.”

“…I can see that…”

He could feel his tenseness and his gulp and it amused him. God, he loved his shocked reactions. Such a sweet, innocent man. Gintoki gulped and bit his lip as he stroked himself harder. He loved to tease him like that. And to prove that, he moaned again, softly, sensitive and prolonged. It wasn’t hard to make it sound genuinely aroused. He was downright horny, after all.

“…Well,… if you don’t wanna do it with me…” he was deliberately breathless and chewed his lips. “…I got to take care of myself, don’t I?”

The stiffness of his boyfriend and his head still being bent so he could see were a real treat. That he wasn’t saying anything was a good sign, too. He had the feeling he was on a good path to get what he wanted. So he buried the back of his head even more into his rips and raised his chin enough so he could see him licking his lips. His chuckle was throaty and brash.

“…Uhh… you know… I’m so horny right now… I really could use a cock.”

Checkmate, he thought and was pretty proud of himself.

Hijikata had a weak point for dirty talk, even though he was still dementing it. But Gin had seen through him real quick. If he wanted, he could play him like a fiddle. He was going down~

 

Suddenly, the cop moved and Gintoki’s head began to drop. It was so fast that he didn’t realize what was happening. The next instant, his head fell down into Hijikata’s lap, well, half of his lap to be precise. He had turned around enough so he could face him, but not enough to do it completely. Gin’s head was resting on one of his bent thighs now and could see the man hovering above him. The policeman had made a ninety-degree turn and his face was now within Gintoki’s grasp.  For just a moment, the Yorozuya was startled, but then a confident, smug grin attacked his face. He chuckled and raised his hands to grab Hijikata’s head and pull it down into a kiss.

He didn’t let him have it, though. Before Gin could bury his fingers in his hair, two strong hands clutched his wrists and held them in place. Squinting, the brash samurai looked up, only to find a grumpy man staring at him. He was pretty serious and somewhat sour, but after a few seconds, he smiled. It was a rather scary, to be honest.

“If you want it so badly, we’re going to play this by my rules.”

Gin couldn’t deny he shivered for a second there. Seeing him making such a face… was really getting him started. He smiled, aroused and his tongue rolled over his swollen lips.

“Uh, how bossy~. I'm not used to that. Not from you at least. ” He found this unusual aggressive side of him pretty damn hot. “Fine… what do you want?”

“First of all: hands off.” It was a simple command and with so much authority, it gave him a real kick.

Chuckling, Gin did as he was told and dropped his hands. His eyes had a challenging spark in them, though. “Alright then. …Anything else?”

“Second…” For an instant, he paused and stared into his eyes, mercilessly. Though there was definitely some arousal somewhere, Hijikata appeared amazingly levelheaded. He liked that. “…Open your shirt.”

Just for the split of a second, he stiffened at that. Then, he did as he was told, obediently. Clearly enjoying it, his fingers fumbled for the zipper and squeezed it between their tips, slowly unzipping his shirt for him. Teasingly, he was writhing now, shifting his body around so he could see his muscles while unhooking the zip at the end.

“Like that?”

“Yeah…” Hijikata almost whispered and watched him very closely, his eyes tracing down to his bellybutton. Gintoki shivered under that. Hell, that was erotic.

“Now go on ahead…”

It took him a breathless instant before he understood what he meant. He couldn’t suppress a grin at that. Happily, he grabbed his own manhood and started stroking it anew. He was moaning louder now, invitingly, provocatively, withering some more under his gaze. But surprisingly enough, Hijikata looked unfazed. His face was pretty composed and it seemed like he wasn’t having any of Gin’s shit today. He just watched him meticulously; let his gaze wander over his lips to his strong neck, further down to his collarbone and chest, until he ultimately reached his bellybutton and below. He didn’t seem to have any intentions to take the initiative. Gin shuddered under this intensive glare and his stomach muscles twitched, feeling the glance as prominent as a touch. And even though this reserved, imperious demeanor of his turned him on, he didn’t want to be at his mercy either.

So, with a cocky grin, he used his free hand to seize his neck and draw him down into a kiss.

But once again, the cop didn’t let him. Instead, his face went pretty hard. “I _said_ , keep your hands to yourself.”

 

With an obvious pout, Gintoki tried convincing him for a second, but as the handsome black-haired man didn’t give in, he condoned it. Seemed like he truly meant it this time, huh? He had never seen him this strict and unfazed before. Either he was really getting a hang of it or he was truly pissed at him. Gin was just a little bit unsettled by this. But he was pretty curious, too. He wondered where he was going with it.

So, a little bit begrudgingly, he kept his hands to himself and touched his muscle instead. He wasn’t really into it, though. He had a craving for other things. Why bother jerking off on his own? This was no fun.

“What’s wrong? Don’t know how to handle your business?”

Gin needed a whole moment to stomach the fact that this sassy comment indeed _did_ come out of _his_ mouth. Befuddled, he stared up into his blue eyes and found a challenging grin there. No, he wasn’t dreaming. Hijikata was indeed teasing him. He shuddered at that. Oh dear, that was _sexy_.

 

Still, his eye twitched and he grinned annoyed. “If you think you know something I don’t, why don’t you go ahead and show it to me, then?”

He was not going to take all of his banterings. Gin was not that passive. He was going to challenge him into touching him eventually, he vowed it.

But as it turned out, Hijikata Toushirou was not so easy to bait. He still made no attempt to touch him, but stared at his crotch instead, nodding suggestingly. “Take in its full length and use your right hand.”

Ah, so he saw through that. Grinning defiantly, Gin did as he was told. Seemed like he wanted him to do it seriously, huh? _Okay_ , the silver head thought and started moving his dominant hand. It did feel good, no doubt about that. But he still rather wanted another cock in his hand. A little bit frustrated, his hand started moving faster and he bit his lip. Damn it, he wanted him to hurry up and do him.

“Slower…” the command suddenly came with a gush of hot breath tickling his face. He realized Hijikata had bent downwards to him, hovering above his head but still not touching him. The sudden closeness forced his heart to make a jump and he gulped. Submissively, he followed his order and slowed down. He could still feel his breath on his face and a hand grazing his hair. The following whisper made him shudder. “…Good.”

Abruptly, his concentration shifted and he could feel more clearly what he was doing. He felt the hardened but yet still soft skin under his fingertips, the grasp of his hand and the sensation when the muscle grazed the edges of his half-opened pants. That, paired with Toushirou’s closeness, his scent, and his voice, made it feel pretty darn good.

“Now harder…” he murmured with a nip and kept his eyes fixated on what Gintoki was doing.

He wondered if he heard his gulp, though. Shivering for an instant, Gin stared down, too and tightened his grip. He was working slowly now, the touch firm and pretty intense. His heartbeat was accelerating and he could feel it pulsating between his fingers, rough and impatient. This was way more arousing that he liked to admit.

“Let me hear your voice…”

It was hard to resist something like that and even harder to answer it with the fake moans he had used before. Breathing in loudly, he gulped again and closed his eyes. Bad idea, he realized, but it was too late already. As he lowered his eyelids, the full impact of what was happening hit him and knocked him right out. He automatically gripped his manhood harder and moved the way he liked it. The scent of the man above him was filling his nose and his voice still resounded inside his head, making his stomach shake. Damn, this was going in the wrong direction.

Still, he couldn’t fight it anymore. He was getting serious now, was too aroused to stop anymore. His gaze, the closeness, his haughty instructions, all of it was making him woozy. The longer this continued, the deeper he fell, the more unbearable it got. He wheezed loudly now, his breath tumbling, rattling. Being trapped like this, the Yorozuya became more and more restless and fidgety. He still wanted him to do him, damn it.

Instinctively, he withered and opened his lips, tried to kiss him. There was a shift this time and he could feel Hijikata bending down even more. But instead of a liberating kiss, a few of his black strands grazed his lips. He shivered and glared at him from clouded, half opened eyes. What an asshole.

He only saw a broad, vicious grin that was so rare on the commander’s face. “Amazing… I’m not even touching you and you’re already at your limit, aren’t you?”

He couldn’t help it. He blushed. There was some embarrassment, some reluctance about admitting that. But then again, this cocky attitude turned him on even more and he was indeed pretty spent already. So he began to shiver and felt his world moving. He was definitely approaching his limit.

“Hah… damn it. …Can't you just fuck me already?” Gintoki almost begged now.

There it was again, this boastful grin that made him lose his cool. “Should I?”

“Yeah?” The silver head puffed. Jerk, jerk, jerk!

“Hmm…” He enjoyed himself that was for sure. His hand moved and the next second, the man lying on his lap could feel fingertips grazing his neck. It sent a hot-cold shiver down his spine and got his manhood pulsating harder. “How would you like it?”

 

Uhh. He shivered and couldn’t think straight anymore. His first impulse was to yap at him. _Anything was fine, as long as he fucked him already_! But then, he realized Hijikata was asking a genuine question. And being presented with such a choice made him ponder for an instant. Though, his answer was pretty obvious already. His lips were getting dry and he licked them as he stared into blue eyes, desirously.

“From behind… rough…”

He knew he had to say the latter. Because if he didn’t, Hijikata would be pretty tame. But he loved it rough and he loved it wild.

“Alright then.” His voice was hushed, but still pretty coarse and dominant.

Blissful, Gintoki was stopping his hand. He was so aroused, it wasn’t even funny anymore. There was no blood left in his head it seemed. He needed it. Now.

So when Hijikata’s lips finally met his, he almost blacked out for a second there. A white flicker danced in front of his eyes and he couldn’t suppress a moan. It was salivating. It felt so good, he couldn’t tell left from right anymore. So his only choice, it seemed, was to throw himself forward, into the kiss of the man above him.

Hungrily, his tongue searched for his and he bit his lip when he found it. He was breathless now, arching his back to come closer. He wanted to touch him so badly. He tried holding back, but couldn’t. When his hand made another doomed attempt to tousle his hair, the officer held his wrist and kept him in place. Gintoki was quivering now, felt his arm trembling, but in the grasp of Hijikata’s strong fingers, he also felt amazingly save. He threw himself into the kiss, but all too soon the black haired man moved up again and smirked.

“No touching.”

“Ha…” He couldn’t keep his eyes open, had to squint the whole time.

“Do you want me to give you a blowjob first?”

Uhhh. How the hell did it come to this? He couldn’t resist him any longer. “…Yes… please…”

 

The smile that followed was truly a rare sight on the policeman’s face. It sent another hot shiver down his neck and made his heartbeat dance. He watched Hijikata bent in the other direction and letting his head down above his crotch. He could barely reach it comfortably, but that didn’t stop him from taking Gin’s erection into his hand and shoving it down his throat. When his lips and teeth surrounded it, the silver-haired man couldn’t hold back anymore. He moaned loudly and buried his fingers in his own hair, knowing he wouldn’t be allowed digging them in Hijikata’s scalp. A tremble rocked through his body and he wheezed, defenselessly.

When Toushirou started moving his head and sucked harder while using his hand to pull the soft skin downwards, Gintoki thought he was about to lose his mind. Maybe it was this whole, odd situation, maybe the fact that he hadn’t had sex for a while or maybe it was just that he loved Toushirou being so dominant, but he couldn’t take any more of it. His breath tumbled and he was groaning now, quivering.

“Ah, w-wait! I’m already… I’ll…!”

He didn’t want to come in his mouth, so he tried his best telling him that.

He succeeded, it seemed, because the next second, the man pulled back and trapped his manhood in an unnecessarily hard grasp. Gintoki groaned anew and was in wet sweat, digging his fingers into his forehead. It took him a moment before he realized he hadn’t come yet. He had been so close, his whole head was swimming already and his body felt numb. Hijikata’s grip was still tight and it began to hurt a bit. What really threw him off balance, however, was his deep, mischievous voice the second later, as he hovered above his face and grinned.

“So? …Still want me to fuck you?”

Like a deer in the lights of a truck, he stared at him and couldn’t understand what was happening at all. He felt his heart hammering inside his cock and against the cop’s fingers curled around it. He felt the arousal still smothering him, screaming for release. He was such a bastard. Gintoki couldn’t help but answer with a shivering voice. “…ah shit… yes… yes goddamnit…”

 The mocking grin didn’t disappear. “Well, I’d love to… but I don’t have any lube or condoms on me.”

JERK!

How could he be so levelheaded, anyway?! “Ah, it’s…” he needed a long breath until he could finish the sentence. Weakly, he nodded to one of the cupboards. “…middle one… topmost shelf…”

Clearly amusing himself, he eyed him and tilted his head. “Fine… take off your pants.”

 

He didn’t really remember that he did, but when Toushirou came back, he was naked. So somehow, in his haze, he had managed to do as he was told. No time to be proud of that, though. He stared at the handsome man kneeling down before him and felt like he was in a dream. Especially, when the dark-haired man was kissing him and shoving him down onto the rough tatami mats. His hands were warm and pressed against his chest, making him feel like melting candle wax. He was so exhilarated now. He couldn’t wait to feel him inside of him.

Gintoki really tried his best not to touch him, but he slipped more often than not. The policeman tolerated that for the kiss and started roaming over his body, too. His muscles were shaking under the touch and his stomach was churning under the pleasure of it. The red-eyed man realized his partner was getting more aroused as well and started losing control. But even under his unsteady breath, he remained dominant. Not grinning anymore, he ended the kiss and seized Gintoki’s hand, which had gotten lost in thick black hair. Panting just a little bit, he squeezed a big drop of lube onto his fingers.

“Put them in…”

It was less of an authoritarian order now, much more a heady ushering. Gin was barely in his right mind anymore. He felt a moment of protest arising inside of him. He wanted _him_ to do it, for heaven’s sake. But he couldn’t think anymore, couldn’t express any protest anymore, was completely blanking. He couldn’t resist this bastard anymore. So, without any further complaint, he just did it. He wasn’t normally that submissive at all. He had never been good in taking commands or waiting passively to get what he wanted. But right now, hell, the world was upside down. What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t help it. Toushirou was so damn hot like this.

As his own fingers sank into himself, he was moaning again, louder. He didn’t have any time to waste on being ashamed, even though he was a bit embarrassed. This wasn’t his normal self. But he was too damn aroused to give a fuck about that anymore. He was taken in by the spur of the moment and he was way beyond saving now. Right now, he only wanted to indulge himself into this.

While his partner was hovering above him without touching him, Gintoki stared into those blue eyes with a heavy panting cording up his throat.

And the handsome black-haired man gazed back and made his heart fill with love. His eyes were soft now, still a bit cocky, but also caring and subtle. “Does it feel good?”

It was the first time the silver head was blushing for real. Even in his roused haze, he got that Toushirou meant that as a serious question. It felt strange. Really strange. Even though he loved this dominant, sadistic side of him, he also felt like this doting expression, this loving touch, these honest inquiries, suited him best. This was the part of him he adored, that he couldn’t get enough of. This side that showed him, he was the only thing that mattered at this moment.

Gintoki choked on all the love bubbling up inside his chest and it made his arousal even stronger. The more he got and the farther he went, the less resistance he had to offer. And he didn’t want to, either. He wanted to submit himself to him. With his whole being lying bare in front of his feet. Maybe if only for once. So he could see he felt the same for him. His voice shivered and he didn’t hold back anymore. “Yeah…”

It was plain obvious now, the officer was slipping too. Slipping deep down into his arousal, being smothered by it. He resisted still and somehow he even managed to hold himself back. His eyes were glassy and he bowed down to him, nudging his nose.

“…You want me to do it with you now?”

Gin couldn’t suppress a wheeze and his fingers stroked harder inside of him, though he just couldn’t reach it very well. He wanted him _now_ , needed it _now_. It was driving him crazy. He moaned and bit his lip.

“Yes…”

“Turn around...” it was nothing more than a whisper.

 

His knees were jamming into the straw mats so fast, he didn’t even remember how he did that. Time was a mess by now. But when he felt Hijikata behind him, digging his fingernails into his skin, he thought that didn’t matter. Something hot pressed itself against his rear and he welcomed it with a tremble. It was Gintoki who ushered his hips backwards to end his longing. And when he felt their hips bumping together and the hot muscle pulsating wildly inside of him, he lost his mind for real. Blind with pleasure, it elicited a half-suppressed shout from his throat and sent a tremor through his bones leaving him utterly helpless. His head dangled downwards and he plowed his nails quiveringly in the mats below him. He wasn’t himself anymore, only raw, uncontained emotions blurring his sight. He wanted more. So much _more_.

The next instant, he started moving passionately. Back and forth, to get more, riding him and showing no patience. His voice was distorted into an ecstatic heavy breathing now and he felt so close again. Just a little more and he would be free of this tedious arousal.

It only lasted a moment, however. With both hands, Toushirou grabbed his backside and stopped him, clawing his fingers into his flesh, shoving him forward to have more control. The hot, pulsating muscle almost slid out again, but he managed to keep both of them from moving any further. His voice was tarnished, soft but still dominant enough to make him listen.

“I didn't say you could move.”

Honestly, he was close to collapsing now. His whole body was shaking and his legs seemed like they wouldn’t make it much longer. He bit his lip bloody and rattled under his breath. This was torture. He was no longer by his right mind. He was begging now, indisputably.

“Toushirou… don't tease… anymore…”

He wouldn’t listen. Instead, he just started moving _very slowly_ again. His member was so hard and Gintoki so sensitive, he felt _everything_. The cop appeared relatively calm, but in reality, his breath was toppling over. “That’s what you get… for teasing me…”

“…please…”

His fingernails were digging into his behind, dragging the flesh up so he could feel even more. He warred heavily with himself and he knew, he wouldn’t be able to keep this up for much longer, so he dragged out the last harassment this guy deserved.

“You want me to go faster?”

“Yeah…”

“You want me to go harder?”

“Yes….”

 

Hearing his pleading whisper, feeling his quivering self underneath him, seeing his upper body resting on the floor because he didn’t have any strength left was seriously messing with him. In the end, Toushirou couldn’t maintain his cool demeanor and slipped completely. The arousal was taking over and he let himself be taken by it, gratefully. And so, he closed his eyes and gave Gintoki what he had wanted all along.

Everything was blurring after that, he didn’t exactly know what happened next. He was rougher than usual and he had to admit, it felt incredible. Gintoki’s loud moaning also had a fair share of him losing himself in the moment. His body was hot and he was sweating. Hijikata regretted not having taken off his clothes, but there hadn’t really been time for that. So he went with it and dedicated all of his attention to the groaning silver head in front of him. He had to confess, he liked him being obedient for once.

The man with the dark olive hair was just getting started, losing himself in the wild sex, when a loud, ruptured moan escaped Gintoki’s throat. His head was hitting the mats and his fingernails scratched loudly over the mats. He could see him heaving heavily and cringing under him. Incredulously, he stopped and stared down at him. Even after a few more moments, he didn’t move or say something and Hijikata understood what had happened. He couldn’t suppress a snort.

“What? Did you come already?”

Gintoki’s face was burning red and he hid it from him, still trembling and trying to catch his breath. “…Oh, shut up…”

The cop really had to laugh at him. “Wow, that was the fastest one yet. I mean, give me a break. I wasn’t even close.”

“Grr, asshole!” Obviously embarrassed, Gin finally wrested from the embrace and turned around. His cheeks reddened, he glared at him. “You’re the one who was torturing me and didn’t let me come! It was obvious that this was going to happen!”

Smiling, half genuine, half with a malicious delight, he slumped down to sit. “Oh, was it? Well, suits you right. I told you not to tease me.”

“Grrr… Bastard!”

Amused, Hijikata’s gaze grazed the man in front of him. He had made a real mess, but oh well… it wasn’t his apartment, so none of his business. “And not even with extra help. This is the first time you’ve come from just sex, isn’t it? Was I really that good or were you just plain desperate?”

“Youuu…” Though still utterly ashamed, Gintoki grabbed his collar and yanked him closer. “…Don’t act all high and mighty, asshole. You’re gonna pay for this.”

“And how exactly would that be?” He chuckled, enjoying being on the other end for once. “Will you punish me with sex? Maybe you didn’t realize in your horny delirium, but I got away empty-handed here. You owe me one.”

His mouth dropped open and he shrieked in a high-pitched, embarrassed voice. “I owe you nothing, asshole! You brought this on yourself!” Not knowing how to cope with it, Gintoki shoved him away and got on his feet again. Glowering and pointing down at him, he yelled and couldn’t hide his shame.  “You know?! That’s it! Since you’re such a jerk, you can just jerk off! ‘s not my business if you come or not!”

“Looks like it, yeah.” Hijikata just couldn’t refrain from mocking him. This little fucker deserved it, once in a while. A smile flashed on his teeth. “…Mr. Quickdraw.”

Hopping mad, the naked samurai grunted and seemed like he regretted all of his life decisions until now. He hollered, his head giving off little steam clouds. “I’m not-… AHH!”

Clearly pleased, Hijikata eyed him and got on his knees again, fumbled for a cigarette. “God, you made a mess. Take a bath, will you? You’re all sticky.”

“I would‘ve taken one, anyway! Don’t patronize me, you son of a bitch! And this is your fault! So get rid of this mess here!”

“What? Why do I have to do that?”

“Because I say so!”

“Ugh…” The Shinsengumi Vice Commander scratched his neck and closed his eyes. He didn’t want to. But he guessed he should just get it over with. Before it dried and made ugly stains in the tatami mats. And after all, he didn’t want to lose his working privileges here. “You’re really cranky for someone who just got _fucked his brains out_.” He was deliberately using his words. He wouldn’t normally use such language, after all. 

Next moment, the sharp edge of a folder hit his head and made him take cover. Gintoki was slamming the door shut and stomped into the bathroom.

“Oh, _fuck you_!”

Once Hijikata was sure that no other sharp objects could hit him, he looked at the door and chuckled. Well, he had to admit, it was kind of cute seeing him all flustered like that. He deserved it, too. Though, of course, _he_ didn’t mind. He wasn’t as addicted to sex as the Yorozuya was. He would be fine, as long as Gintoki got his money’s worth.

Sighing, he stuck a cigarette between his lips and looked down to his crotch to close his zipper. Only then he realized something was missing. Seemed like, in the spur of the moment, he had forgotten the condom… oops.

On top of that, he also realized not only Gintoki needed a bath and a fresh pair of clothes. His pants were all gooey and sticky with lube. Horrified, he jumped to his feet and tousled his hair.

“ _Oh shit_!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Tetsujin means “strong man” or “badass” (literally “iron man” lol) and is a rather old word no one really uses any more.
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it! For all the GinHiji fans: they will switch roles eventually, just be patient. I love them in switching roles, after all. So please look forward to how Gin will convince him into being bottom <3


	9. Ghosts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst and fluff. The best combination.

## Ghosts

 

A brutal hit to the face got him spewing blood. He felt his nose break a while ago, but they still hadn’t stopped and didn’t care either. They kept beating him with all they got.

Their voices bellowed and hollered as they kicked him in the stomach now, so he had no choice but to cringe and bent. Kneeling on the ground, his hands cuffed behind his back, his forehead hit the dirt. He didn’t have any strength left. He hadn’t eaten for two days and had to drink from a puddle the icy rain had left in his cell. His body was laced with bruises and rashes and blood and dirt. His face looked especially bad. One eye was completely swollen; the other had black and blue rings around it. His lips had burst, blood was leaking out of his nose and some cuts between his temples and ears. He really had seen better days.

He swallowed the painful moaning that wanted to escape his throat and let out a weak sigh instead. His sight was blurring and he was sick. He wanted to puke, but he had nothing in his stomach, to begin with. His muscles were sore and he was cold, shivering almost. Nothing more than a pair of loose pants on him, after all. It was winter, too and his body half frozen. The sweat and blood running down his skin didn’t make it better for one bit.

A hand grabbed his hair and dragged him up once more, shoved him to his knees. The voices were still roaring and he knew what they said, yet, he couldn’t understand them right now. Something about the war, something about the other’s locations, something about traitors and about more torture. They had been torturing him for days. His execution was soon, he remembered. The Shiroyasha’s execution. A big day for the Bakufu. He was one of the main symbols of the rebellion after all. Ridiculous. He didn’t care who sat in some posh castle ruling the land. As long as he could have lived his days in peace, as long as he could have spent it with his friends and his teacher. But they were all gone and he was alone once again.

There had been absolutely nothing worth living for.

So why did he anyway?

The pain was shallower than he remembered, but he could still feel it engraved in his bones. He instantly knew it was a dream, but still, he couldn't manage to escape it. He shivered from the memories and the pain they still inflicted on his body. That's what he hated the most. Being trapped in these dreams, no way of escaping them. His worst fear was that he wouldn't be able to wake up anymore. That, someday, he would be doomed to stay in them forever. Losing grasp of reality.

Another kick to his face got his head spinning. Images flashed before his eyes, his Sensei, his execution, the war, the bloodshed, his friends, all those fights and the winter, death. His heart ached and he was sick to the stomach. He just wanted it to end.

He heard Kagura’s voice calling his name and trembled under it. The next moment, he saw her red locks mixing with the mud. Shinpachi was there, too and they lay in a pool of blood on the floor before him. Panicky, he looked up and stared into the dead eyes of Utsuro as he smiled and raised his sword. A cold sweat broke out and he felt his heartbeat accelerating. Panic had him in its ugly claws and squeezed out the very air in his lungs.

“ _You might have saved them for now… but you’ll never be safe from the darkness you attract. Till the day you die, you will always be… a mere shadow of me_.”

“Gin-chan…” he saw Kagura’s sobbing face staring at him and Shinpachi reaching out to him.

Horrified, he tried freeing himself, wrestling from the handcuffs, but all he could do was to collapse forward. The same instant Utsuro’s sword plunged down and cut into their flesh severing their heads from their bodies, causing hot blood to splash on his face. In terror, his eyes tore open and he heard a scream, only to realize later it was his own.

 

 

“NO!”

Blindly, Gintoki jumped up and grabbed thin air. His whole body shivered in cold sweat and he was so dizzy, he felt like he was close to collapsing. He couldn’t see a thing, no matter how hard he squinted. His pulse was throbbing in his temples and drummed against his bones as if they were a _taiko_ *. He was quivering pathetically and had to hold his mouth because for a moment, he thought he would throw up. Luckily, he was able to hold it in. His eyes closed and he embraced the twilight inside of him.

With all his strength, he tried feeling the environment. The yukata on his body, the rough texture grating against his flesh, the futon on his legs, the wind chime in the window, the shallow voices and noises from the busy street. He was at home.

Panic fell from his mind like a pile of stones and he allowed himself to breathe in deeply. He was back in reality. This was reality. He was at the Yorozuya’s house, in their house. They were safe and sound and Utsuro was no more. All of this had ended, all loose ends tied up. There was nothing more to be afraid of.

Not being able to sooth his pulse, his crying heart and the tremble in his bones, he tucked up his legs and rested his forehead on his knees. Three big forcedly calm breaths and a hand in his hair to keep in touch with reality. He was holding his breath in between and counted to six, to calm his mind and body. He was safe. They were safe. It was just a dream. …Three, four, five… six…

His breath rattled, as he opened his eyes again. He could see better now. It was bright outside, definitely in the middle of the day. How long had he been sleeping? And where were his two kids? He couldn’t hear them at all…

Forcing himself up to stand, he stumbled for the door, still uneasy on his legs. He didn’t want to lose any time. Yet, when he shoved the fusuma open, he couldn’t see anyone in the living room. Just to be sure, he straddled to the closet and unlocked it to look for Kagura, but she wasn’t there and he couldn’t find her in the kitchen either. Sadaharu was nowhere to be found as well. So he looked at the calendar hanging near the TV. When he saw their scribbling, he remembered.

Both of them were busy today. He had a day off, so to speak. This happened a lot lately. Shinpachi was busy in the dōjo and Kagura had friends all over the place. Sometimes, he felt they hardly came by anymore. And though he knew that was wrong and they still saw each other almost every day, he couldn’t help but feel lonely. He ought to be proud of them, he ought to let them go and grow up. But here he was and was feeling miserable without them. He couldn’t even wake up in time when they weren’t around. Darn it…

Looking out of the window, he tried to settle down. They were fine. He didn’t have to worry about them. It was just a dream. They were strong and could protect themselves. And Utsuro was gone. They had allies all over Edo. He didn’t need to worry. But yet, he did, he couldn’t help it. Seemed like, even though he had made peace with all of this, his body and unconscious self still had a hard time adapting. Sometimes, it just bubbled up and threw him right back. Seemed like it was hard to get over everything that had happened, after all.

Feeling numb, he scuffled into the kitchen and picked up some strawberry milk from the fridge. The sweet drink helped him wake up a little, but it couldn’t make him as happy as he hoped it would. He felt horrible, to be honest. Like he had been chewed and spit out. Must have been a horrible night. He had a bit of a hangover, too. He remembered now, he had been drinking last night with Hasegawa. So that’s why he felt like shit.

Rubbing the back of his hand over his mouth to get off the rest of the pink milk, he listened for the sounds surrounding him. There weren’t many, just pretty normal noises. He was leaning against the counter and his eyes were staring into nothingness. Instinctively, he sunk deep into his thoughts, unable to escape them now.

 

He felt it bubbling up, _all of it_. All of the anger and grief and bloodlust, the desperation and his capitulation. In the end, he had been all alone. He had given up everything, for he hadn’t been able to protect anything. He had been supposed to die back then, a lot of times actually. But in this cold winter night, when he had been escaping the prison with nothing but a thin yukata and a pair of _zōri_ *, starved and beaten and thirsty, he had been sentenced to death. Or so he had thought when he had collapsed at the cemetery, snow covering his hair and legs. He had had zero will of living in that icy night. If it hadn’t been for Otose, he would have frozen to death.

And he wouldn’t have minded.

He knew he was doing much better now. He had friends and family, had a name he was proud of and had been able to make peace with the demons of his past. But yet, sometimes, out of nowhere, these feelings crept back into his heart and poisoned it. He was lonely. Horribly lonely. And he wondered if anyone thought of him right now. If but a single soul would realize what was going on inside of him.

Gintoki knew he was being stupid. A lot of people cared for him, dearly. They would cry if he would be gone and they would miss him. Still, at this very moment, he felt deserted. And even though he had lived with this profound loneliness for many years, he couldn’t bear it now. He couldn’t stand this silence, this feeling of being alone with himself, with his thoughts and fears and memories and the aftermath of this horrible dream.

His fingers shook for an instant and he squeezed the milk carton harder, so it would go away. It didn’t. So he lowered his eyelids and started counting again, breathing slowly. One, two, three…

What was he supposed to do? What was he supposed to do without them?

He had absolutely no idea anymore. He felt depressed and couldn’t shake the horrible sensation of the nightmare. His heart ached with every movement and he felt like sleeping all over again. But then he would have to go back to his dreams and he didn’t want that. Anything but that. Those were the moments he was most vulnerable. He didn’t want to feel that hopeless anymore. It made him sick.

For minutes, he just leaned against the counter and stared into nothingness, drowning in his misery. He felt sluggish, powerless and unmotivated. It took him a solid ten minutes of convincing himself to keep on walking again. He needed to keep his shit together. So he decided to dress and get ready.

Gintoki managed to put on his usual pants and shirt, but he didn’t bother for the yukata. He wasn’t in the mood for that. He didn’t want to go outside, anyway. He didn’t want to bother anyone. They were living their lives without him and who was he to interfere? He didn't need them anyway… he would do just fine without them. Or that’s what he wanted to prove to himself. He wouldn’t give in. He wouldn’t go out to see their faces and make sure they were okay. He wasn’t that desperate for human contact… He was fine on his own…

Brushing his teeth took more persuasiveness than he would have liked to admit, but in the end he did it. He even managed to make some food. A bit of rice, topped with some Nori and soy sauce. He craved something more healthy and fancy, but the fridge was empty and he didn’t want to go outside, after all. So this had to do.

The Yorozuya placed himself in front of the TV and zapped through the channels, but staring into the metal box just felt like a huge waste of time. So he fetched some old Jumps and reread them, but he couldn’t find his usual joy in that either. Frustration overpowered him and nailed him to the couch, immobilizing him for a long period of time. He just kept staring into nothingness, sinking deeper and deeper into a depression.

He would have loved to say, he wasn’t usually like that. That he was a genuinely cheerful man that didn’t dwell on the past and feelings.

The truth was, behind his usual smile and carefree demeanor hid a very pensive mind. He wasn’t that kind of person who would share his thoughts easily, though. He didn’t like that at all, they belonged to him. He felt thronged when other people knew too much about what he was thinking. This was one of the scariest thoughts for him, imagining someone being able to read his mind. Instinctively, the silver head shuddered at that notion.

Gintoki didn’t like dealing with his feelings, especially when they were negative. He usually tried distracting himself or ignoring them altogether. He didn’t have anyone to talk to about this and neither did he want to. It was just one of these days, he told himself and left it at that. Tomorrow, everything would be different and that’s how it was. He just needed to get this day over with.

 

The hours passed and nothing happened. Gintoki tried to keep himself busy with a lot of different things and thus moved in a circle of distractions. It was in the last hour of the afternoon that he decided, he needed some fresh air. The urge wasn’t strong enough for him to put on his yukata and go outside. Instead, he settled for the balcony in the back. The sun was low already, but it would need a few more hours until it would set. The sky was dotted with clouds from time to time and the air smelled of rain. Out here, he could clearly detect the faint noises from the street as well as the far away chirping of the cicadas. It was peaceful and the fresh air soothed his mind.

As his gaze drifted through the surroundings, he spotted a rather uncommon item lying on the window ledge. Startled, the Yorozuya took it and eyed it closely. _Mayoboro_. Hijikata’s cigarettes.

For a very long moment, the red-eyed man just stared at them, weighing them in between his fingers, pondering. When did he leave them here? He couldn’t remember him complaining about where Gin hid his drugs. Instinctively, he opened the package. Seven more remaining.

Maybe he should have a drag?

This notion almost made him snort. Yeah, right. Why would he smoke? He disliked the taste and the smell and he didn’t want to get sick. He only ever smoked with this mayo bastard. Not because he particularly liked smoking. He just liked to be with him, that’s all. Smoking his damn cigarettes wouldn’t make him feel like he was there. It couldn’t replace him.

He wanted to see him.

The yearning hit him hard and worsened his loneliness. Should he call him up? He was probably busy anyway. This bastard was always working. And Gin didn’t want to be clingy. He didn’t need him to come to his place to make him feel less alone. And besides, he wasn’t feeling _that_ depressed. It wasn’t like he was down in the dumps. Even though he knew, that he still wouldn’t call him even if he _were_ truly miserable. He didn’t need pity and he wasn’t that desperate. When being with him, he wanted to be happy, not to drag him down. He didn’t want to make him worried.

Grunting softly, he massaged his forehead, but still couldn’t let go of the cigarette package. He tried suppressing his wish to meet him and told himself he was being stupid. Gin didn’t need to go outside and he didn’t need to call anyone. He didn’t need to see anyone in order to feel better. It wasn’t like he was that pathetic. Still, his train of thought had embarked on this trail and it seemed like it wouldn’t stop anytime soon. So, begrudgingly, he thought of blue eyes and dark hair.

It was true; Gin had never been a big fan of the police. He had experienced the worst of them, their despotism and their brutality. He had suffered under the intrigues of political leaders and their whims and had lost all faith in their ulterior motives. They all had been nothing more than _Bakufu_ dogs, blindly following orders, sentencing innocent people to executions and rewarding murderers with riches. Gintoki had just accepted that, had condoned the new rule, the occupation and the changes and had dug a hole to hide from all of that.

He didn’t like the police. But he had to give him that, Hijikata was different. Sure, he had started out as any Bakufu dog would, fighting rebels without ever questioning the motives behind them. He was a murderer, had cut down hundreds of patriots, imprisoned dozens and fought with no remorse. But still, Gintoki knew he had changed. He had found his way of living true to himself in the end. He was a good police officer. He had shown him that many times. They were lucky to have such a police on their side. Even though it was mostly made of idiots. But honest and righteous idiots.

His fingers tingled and he bit his lip. He missed him. He wanted him to come over. He wanted to be a part of his life. So many long months had he waited for him, so how was it fair that he couldn’t see him whenever he wanted now? He at least needed to hear his voice. Just that.

Swallowing his pride and being trounced by his yearning, Gintoki clenched the cigarette package in his hands and walked inside again. He halted in front of the old telephone resting on the desk, stared at it in a fierce battle of wills, which he lost. Cussing to himself, he took up the earpiece and dialed his number. Maybe he wouldn’t pick up anyway…

A few seconds filled with nervous heartbeat, the phone rang without anything happening. A circular beeping lulled him and made him incredibly edgy. Then, when a low voice finally picked up, he almost jumped.

“Moshi, moshi. Hijikata Toushirou speaking.”

A hard swallow and he needed a full moment to calm down. Then, in his usual cheerful voice, he replied and scoffed.

“Oh, hey. It’s you. Sorry, I think I’ve dialed the wrong number.”

“…Gintoki?” his voice cracked because the reception was pretty bad. He could hear though, that he was a bit irritated.

“Ah yeah, it’s me.” He chimed and smirked, playing with the phone cord while squeezing the cigarettes in his other hand. “What’s up? Still working?”

“…” For a long moment, there was a silence that made him awfully tense. When the officer finally replied, it was a load off his mind. “Um, no. Just finished my shift actually.”

“Oh? Want to come over to my place?” he did his best to appear as carefree and normal, as he possibly could. “The kids are out and I’m hungry.”

“Um…” He heard voices in the background and he figured they belonged to the Shinsengumi. “…Actually, I already made plans tonight, sorry.”

“Ah, I see~.” He grinned hearable and didn’t make a big deal out of it. “No problem, then. Have fun! Call me, when you’re free.”

“I will.” Someone screamed into his phone and by the look of it, it sounded awfully like Sougo.

“Hijikata-san, who’re calling? Is that _danna_? Are you telling him, we’re going to a strip club?”

“Cut the crap! We’re not going to a strip club!”

“But you said-“

“Shut it!” Gin heard a ruffling of clothes and loud steps before Hijikata’s voice sounded again. “We’re not going to a strip club.”

Now, the silver-head really had to smile, though he couldn’t suppress a certain gloom mixing in it. “I know. Don’t let yourself get teased by him every time.”

“I’ll call you again when I’m free, alright?”

“Okay.”

“See you.”

“See you.”

 

And with that, the line was cut.

Gin stared at the phone and didn’t breathe. He was a damn idiot. Did he really think that this would lighten his mood? If anything, it had made him even sadder. All of them were out having fun. Without him. Shit.

Harried, he smashed the earpiece back on the phone and stomped to the balcony. He was sick and he was angry. At Hijikata and the others and at himself. He was being stupid, he knew that. And yet, he couldn’t fight the feeling of being neglected. Maybe he had been too sure that he would come. Maybe he hadn’t expected him to decline. So it hurt, it hurt more than he liked to admit. Damn it at all!

Frustrated, he closed the balcony door behind him and fumbled for a cigarette. He didn’t have a lighter, so he had to stomp in again to get some matches from the kitchen. Stressed out and desperate, he shoved the door shut again and stuck a cigarette between his lips. Using both hands, he lit the match and ignited the damn thing so he could finally take a drag. When the bitter smoke sank down into his lungs, he instinctively had to cough. Awful. It just tasted awful. But he couldn’t stop himself anymore and took a deeper drag, taking it all in, tasting every last bit of it until his head was spinning.

He was pathetic, wasn’t he?

Grinding his teeth and closing his eyes, he leaned against the balcony and tousled his hair. The poisonous feelings crept higher and blackened his stomach. He felt nauseous and lonely and forgotten. He couldn’t stand these feelings. He wanted them to go away. He didn’t need them. So he took another deep drag and tried burning them up like the cigarette between his lips.

But all that burned was tobacco turning into ash.

 

~ ~ ~

 

It was his third cigarette. He didn’t know how that even happened.

It wasn’t like he had any desire to smoke and since his head had been spinning severely after the first one, he had vowed to do this never again. But then, after a while, a second one had found its way between his lips and now he was standing here again. He could understand Hijikata’s addiction, kind of at least. Disregarding the bitter taste and the scratching and burning in his lungs, this was good to keep oneself busy. And that’s how Gintoki considered this. Solely distraction, a way to waste time until it was late enough again to go back to sleep. Why else would he bother to do something like this, anyway? It wasn’t making him happy. It was just a way to spend his useless time doing useless stuff.

The samurai had hesitated to light the third one, though. For minutes, the cigarette had just been in his mouth, doing nothing. Still, for whatever strange reason, that alone made him feel calmer. This small weight between his lips, the touch of the foreign material, it made him feel in contact with reality. It was familiar and yet, still unaccustomed in a way. It made him think of Hijikata, too, to be honest. He didn’t go too deep into that direction. Gin just used these damn cigarettes of his as a token of him, like a bittersweet memory. Or in this case: very bitter.

He wondered if this mayonnaise freak would yell at him for smoking his cigarettes. He probably would. A small, despondent smile appeared on his face and he closed his eyes. He didn’t care. _Let him be mad_ , he thought and lit the third cigarette. If this bastard could ruin his lungs, he could do as he pleased as well, couldn’t he?

A sudden noise made him flinch. It was a knocking on the door.

Surprised, Gintoki turned around and eyed the closed balcony door to look inside, but of course, he couldn’t see anyone. Then he tried searching for a clock, though he didn’t have one nearby. The sky was red and orange and the sun was setting. In any case, who would knock on his door now? It was way too late for business. Maybe it was Tama trying to collect the rent. Oh, he really didn’t need that now, too. So he turned his back around again and ignored the noise. Staring at his cigarette, he felt uneasy though. Silently, he stubbed it out and put it back into the package.

Another knock, louder this time.

Wow, this person was annoying. Gin grumbled lowly and stashed his face in his hand, leaning on the balcony, staring into the evening sky. No one he would want to see would knock like this. They would just come in. So he didn’t bother for whoever was standing in front of his shop. It was closed anyway.

The third, loud knock got him thinking. Who was that? Maybe he should take a peek? But he didn’t want to see anyone, so that was out of the question. Yet, he put the cigarette package back on the window ledge, turned around and silently opened the balcony door. Slipping in, he tried his best to make no sound whatsoever and peeked to the entrance from the living room. He couldn’t see anything, though.

Then, after that, a long silence reigned. _Must have been gone_ , Gintoki thought and was relieved. He was just about to go to the kitchen to fetch a glass of water, as the fourth knock startled him. It was followed by the deep, raspy voice of a man.

“Gintoki. Open the door. I know you’re in there. I can smell your reeking feet.”

 

The next second, the door to the main entrance was being ripped open and two men stared at each other in similar surprise. A certain broke samurai, however, distorted his face into a grumpy mask.

“My feet don’t stink.”

Obviously taken aback by the abrupt opening of the door, Hijikata stared at him and snarled as well. “…So you’re home after all. Why aren’t you opening when someone knocks? That’s called manners.”

“Tsk.” The silver-haired man raised his chin and snorted. “What are you even doing here? I thought you were going to a strip club.”

“I was no-… urgh…” He shook his head and closed his eyes, peeved off. “Wasn’t in the mood to head out with the others.”

“So you thought you could waltz in here like that? Well, too bad. I already made other plans.” He replied, huffy.

It was clear as day, Hijikata didn’t believe any of that. He just raised his arm and dangled a big white plastic bag in front of his nose. “I bought some take-out and some desserts.”

“De… dessert?” And sure as hell, Gintoki began crying. A whole waterfall was gushing down his reddened cheeks and he had little hearts and stars sparkling in his eyes. “…Toshiii~!”

Disgusted, the cop scowled at him, trying to wrestle from any attempts to touch him. “Don’t call me that! Giving me the creeps…”

Sniffing, snorting his snot up again, he rubbed his eyes with his arm and eyed him. “Well, I guess I can spare some time for you… since you brought sweets. …You bought something sweet, didn’t you? Be sure, I won’t be letting you set one foot in here if you consider mayonnaise a dessert.”

“Don’t be silly.” He glared at him, feeling uncomfortable standing outside here waiting. “I bought you some pudding.”

“Pud-“ he choked on his breath and almost sniveled again. Next thing he knew, he grabbed the plastic bag and strolled inside. “Alright, you’re allowed to enter my castle then. Feel at home!”

He heard Hijikata sigh, but he sensed some relief as well. As Gintoki disappeared into the kitchen, the sounds of a closing door and the taking off of shoes echoed through the hallway. The silver-haired samurai felt the need to escape his gaze for a second. At least until he was able to recollect himself. His pulse was freaking, going out of control now. He really had come! Hell, he didn’t know how to feel about that. He was elated. But also scared for some reason. To hide his bewilderment, he didn’t have many choices. So he tried to ignore all of it and pretend this was no big deal.

“Your kids not at home?”

“Ah, yeah.” His voice chimed. “No, they’re busy. I’m all alone today.”

He felt his presence in his neck, though the man was only standing in the doorway, watching him. “Didn’t work today?”

“Gya, gya, gya! What’s it with you? Always nagging about work. Can’t a man savor his free time for once?” Grabbing the chopsticks and some spoons, he turned around and grinned cheekily.

He saw him bending up one eyebrow. “…Once in a while?”

Another smirk, genuine now and he approached him, made him carry a water glass and a box of _katsudon_. “Yeah, once in a while. I was actually enjoying myself until _you_ appeared here. Really, didn’t you say you were busy? Just how much do you miss me?”

Being so close to him, Gintoki couldn’t escape his scrutinizing gaze. It made him feel uncomfortable. His voice was low and unfamiliarly defensive. “You were the one who called me up.”

He felt his heart skip a painful beat at that. With all his might, he kept his smile up, but the truth was, he felt terribly itchy. Especially with these beautiful blue eyes being so close. “I did not. I just wanted to know when you’re free again. I didn’t say you should drop your colleagues and bring me snacks. That was entirely your decision~.”

As Hijikata didn’t answer that for a rather long moment, Gintoki felt uneasy. The officer was just staring at him, silently, analyzing him. He could feel it. As if he was dissecting him. He looked deep. Way deeper than he liked. And it petrified him. He couldn’t bear it. Was this guy seeing right through him?

“Well… it sounded as if you wanted some company, so…”

Hijikata replied with this strange, calm voice that was boding ill. He didn’t like that. He was onto him, wasn’t he? Or was he just being too suspicious? Shit, he couldn’t keep this mask on for long. So he turned around with a smile and filled another glass with tap water.

“So? This is all it needs to get you? Whining a bit on the phone and you’re on the spot? Really, you have such a soft heart, Hijikata-kun. Too cute~!”

As he didn’t reply to that either and eyed him instead, Gin was sure he was seeing right through him. Who else, if not him? They were alike after all. They were both equally bad at showing their feelings. So it was natural that he could see, he was not okay at all. Gin didn’t want to admit that. He shivered. The thought crept him out. Maybe it had been a bad idea to invite him after all. He didn’t want to show him this side of his.

The silence was unbearable and threw itself onto his back, suffocating him. He still tried acting like nothing was off and smiled as he turned around, his own food, pudding, water, and chopsticks in hands. “Come on, let’s eat. I’m starving.”

He didn’t look too deeply into his eyes, avoided his serious gaze on purpose. It only augured badly. He wouldn’t let him get too comfortable in his position. And he prayed he wouldn’t ask. He hoped Hijikata would just let it go and ignore it.

Giving him a shallow beam, he passed him and walked into the living room to slump down on the couch. He removed the plastic top and was honestly elated when he realized that the meal was still warm. Yakisoba. Not his favorite dish, but he liked it enough to make him excited. Better than rice with soy sauce either way. Waiting just until Hijikata had sat down, he balanced the chopsticks between his thumbs, squeezed his hands together and nodded.

“Itadaikimasu~”

 

Adamant about continuing to pretend nothing was off, he was shoving down the noodles into his mouth and chowed them down like the starved beast, he was. He saw Hijikata’s hesitant movements from the corner of his eye, deepening his suspicion. But as the policeman dedicated himself to his katsudon as well, he felt more at ease. Eying him up with a small smile and a mouth full of yakisoba, Gintoki almost seemed fine again.

“So. Was Okita teasing you again today?”

“No more than usual.” The cop didn’t look at him now, stared at his food and ate it seemingly unfazed. He was rather defensive, though.

“What were you even doing tonight? Having a party?”

“Not really. Kondou-san invited us to a sushi place, but I wasn’t really in the mood for that. So I bailed out.”

“Hmmm~” Gin grinned teasingly. He couldn’t help it. Even though it didn’t particularly amuse him today. “To be with your boyfriend. How romantic~. Good thing I called then, isn’t it?”

“Hm…” he replied and seemed to be deep in thought. It was seriously creeping Gin out. What was it with him today? He didn’t react to any of his banterings. Was something bothering him? God, what a pain in the neck. “…I guess so.”

He wouldn’t give in, though. So he gulped down his meal and hid his face behind the bowl in doing so. “Any breakthroughs with your drug lords?”

“No, not yet…” his voice was strangely serious.

“…Anything else happening lately?”

“Hmm…” The policeman was pondering but didn’t look at his partner directly. “Not much… ran into your landlady yesterday. Felt like she was scrutinizing me. The robot girl also had some strange comments. ‘m not sure what to make of them…”

“Otose and Tama?” Gin smirked, still forced. “Yeah, don’t worry about them. Tama‘s a robot after all, so sometimes she talks nonsense. And the old hag‘s just cranky all day long. Although, I’m guessing she must like you.”

“Why’s that?” He felt Hijikata’s prominent gaze on himself, but he couldn’t return it. Instead, he shoved more food between his teeth and talked with his mouth full.

“Well, you’re a cop. She likes cops for all I know. And you paid the rent when being trapped in my body. She likes responsible men like that.”

“…A real miracle she likes you then.”

“Well~, I’m handsome and she appreciates that.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

Gin allowed himself to take a peek again. Something was definitely up with this guy. Should he go there? Shouldn’t he? Gah, what a pain… “Everything alright with you? You’re behaving oddly today.”

For a long moment, their eyes met each other and the uncomfortable tension was right back. He could see things were racing behind his eyes, but seemed like he didn’t want to share them with him. That worsened Gin’s mood even more. It wasn't like they needed words to understand or support each other. But he would still like to know what was going on inside of him. He felt horribly irritated by such a bothered looking Hijikata.

“…Am I? …Well, I’m just tired.” The blue eyes retreated back to his pork covered in egg.

Gin was silently grinding his teeth. Damn it. This was not right. He had wanted to spend time with him, yes. But not like this. He wanted him to smile and to quarrel with him. What was he supposed to do now? It didn’t seem like Hijikata wanted to talk about it. So there was only one option left, wasn’t there? Diversion. He could use it, too, to be honest. And if both of them needed distraction, why not go for it? He was certainly up for it.

A rather uncomfortably long moment, both men ate their meals in silence. Gin gobbled down the rest and flushed it with some water. He whispered a happy _thanks for the meal_ and leaned back. Setting one arm on the couch, he started eying his partner again. He watched him until the black-haired man had almost finished his meal. Gintoki hadn’t touched his pudding yet. He would save it for later. Instead, a broad smile appeared on his face. It was fake, but he convinced himself to believe it was honest.

“You look pretty handsome today, you know that?”

 

Just a hint of a blush on his cheeks. He still wasn’t used to this kind of affectionate gestures and the silver head found that incredibly appealing. He loved to make him react like this.

Shutting his eyes, the policeman put the last piece of mayo-drenched pork in his mouth and chewed it hastily. “I’m looking just like every day.”

“Well~” Gin chuckled and tilted his head a bit. “Today your hair looks especially nice. And I like you in your Shinsengumi vest, without the jacket. It looks plain hot.”

A glass of water on his lips and he still didn’t open his eyes, embarrassed. “…G-good to know.”

As he put the glass back on the table, Gin’s grin intensified. He suddenly stood up and walked towards him, touching his shoulder to shove him back into the backrest of the sofa. With a skillful movement of his legs, he sat on Hijikata’s lap next and looked down into blue eyes. He still smirked and his hands ran through black hair and over a strong throat. Distraction. That’s what they needed. And what was better than sex for that purpose?

“Thanks for bringing me pudding~. But right now, I’d like to have a different kind of dessert.”

Hijikata gulped and Gin felt the arousal spiraling down his stomach already. Yeah, sex was a damn good idea. He wanted to be fucked senseless by him, so he would forget his nightmare and this whole damn day. He didn’t hesitate, didn’t wait for any kind of approval. The silver head just took what he wanted and pressed their lips together, hungrily exploring his mouth with his tongue.

It felt good, it really felt fucking good. He was ready to go, had underestimated how horny this alone would make him. Yanking Hijikata’s head back and rolling his thumb above his throat was making the feeling even stronger. He kissed him fiercer now, showing him he was dead serious about it. He wanted to be diverted. And he felt himself already falling and turning off all of the things that pierced his heart.

Hijikata’s arms were rising as well and he trapped him in a strong embrace that made him shiver for a second. His tongue was definitely battling with his, but he couldn’t help but realize that the man was not as demanding as he usually was. He was still being defensive, even now. What the heck was up with that?

Unsettled, Gin broke the kiss after a few more moments and licked his lips, stared down into his half-opened blue eyes. His pulse was drumming against his temples and the arousal was beginning to cloud his senses, but he tried to restrain himself a little and smirked at him.

“What do you say?”

The cop’s mouth contorted for a second, suspiciously, seriously. Way more serious and levelheaded than he ought to be after such a passionate kiss. “…Did you smoke?”

Oh, he had totally forgotten about that. Caught, he laughed faintly. “No? You imagining things now? Tasting your own nicotine rotten breath? Really, why would I smoke?”

There it was. This gaze again. This observing, worried gaze that seemed to cut right through him. He hated that. He wanted it to go away. So he nibbled on his lips and let his hand wander down the man’s chest to his stomach.

“More importantly… how would you like to do it? Want me to be on top? Riding you? Or want to do it doggy style? But I can also start by sucking you off. Would you like that~?”

Gin felt the arms around his back embracing him tighter and started biting Hijikata’s earlobe in return. He was ready to do anything for him now. So when he heard Hijikata’s answer, he was more than just taken aback.

“…Well, to be honest… I’d like to take a bath instead. Had a long day.”

Huh?

Gin glared down into his blue eyes and couldn’t close his lips. Did he just reject him? Muddled, he searched for any kind of trolling but seemed like this guy was serious. His stare was deep and still reaching out to him, but Gin didn’t let him look. He was perplexed by the whole situation. Hijikata just hugged him firmly, after all. So he tilted his head and scrutinized him.

“…Now?”

“Yeah…” He was indeed holding him tight, no sign of letting go. An intense glare resting in his iris. “…Wanna come with me?”

He didn’t know how to respond to that. Of course, he wanted to. But what did that imply? He couldn’t get a straight reading out of this man today. He was denying him while keeping to him and refusing to let him go. Gin couldn’t cope with these mixed signals. For a long instant, he couldn’t answer his question. As he couldn’t bear his staring any longer, though, he finally nodded. “Okay.”

 

~ ~  ~

 

He was blushing hard.

How did it even come to that?

Just a few minutes ago, he had been in full control of this situation and now this. Gin had refused to leave his track, had continued to tease and seduce and smirk at him, but it seemed all of that was for naught. Hijikata had impeded all of his attempts to get kinky with him. Only to one of Gin’s requests had he agreed to and that was that they would wash each other’s backs. Gin had scrubbed Hijikata clean, not without kissing his neck and hugging him from behind though. But the policeman didn’t seem too affected by any of that. A blush and some embarrassed comments, nothing more.

Instead, now it was his turn to get his back scrubbed and he didn’t understand why, but he was blushing. It felt uncomfortable. Not because the mayonnaise freak was scrubbing too hard or making indecent comments or gestures, really. No. He was feeling uncomfortable because it was quite the opposite. Hijikata was right behind him, brushing softly against his skin. He was so gentle; Gin didn’t know how to handle that. He wasn’t used to this kind of affection, this kind of sensitive touching without the intent of sex. It was plain weird and he didn’t know how to feel about that.

He squatted on the little stool and didn't move an inch. One part of him was waiting for this torture to finally be over, the other part was enjoying these unfamiliar sensations. He couldn’t remember the last time anyone had ever touched him this softly. Not even Hijikata because usually whenever they were touching each other it was in a sexual context. This wasn’t. And he couldn’t help but feel afraid for some reason. There was a big deal of resistance inside of him. He kept his mouth shut for now, but he felt the strong urge to say something to ridicule this whole getup. It was the natural impulse to deal with it. He had a hard time accepting such gentle touches.

The man behind him was completely silent, only his hands were wandering over his body, leaving foam wherever they went. When he reached Gintoki’s neck however, the silver head flinched. His fingers started washing him behind the ears and he couldn’t help but feel…

“…You ticklish behind your ears?” Was the short commentary from behind. He seemed amused at that.

“…’m not…” his voice shivered a bit, but he hoped this bastard wouldn’t hear.

“Hahaha, that’s cute.” Hijikata seemed to get accustomed to the teasing role and Gin wasn’t sure if he liked that or not. Right now? Hated it…

“…Hurry up already…”

“Don’t be so impatient.” Clearly enjoying his position, the fingers scrubbed some more. “It’s completely covered in jam. Don’t you ever wash yourself behind the ears?”

Grrr… bastard. “Who needs that anyway? ‘s not like anyone would look.”

He heard another squirting of shampoo and the instant later, the black haired man started foaming his hair. “Really. With such an attitude, it’s no wonder you never get anything done. When you’re slacking off on your appearance, you’re slacking off with your life as well.”

“Oh, save it! Don’t need your preaching. And I can wash my hair by myself!”

“Sure you can, but my hands are already soaked so I can do it.”

When his fingers brushed over his scalp, Gin couldn’t suppress another shiver. He was astonishingly sensitive there and the rubbing and touching felt pretty good. His teeth clenched and he closed his eyes. Damn this bastard… “Urgh, fine… do what you want.”

“Or so you say…” An amused smile was hearable in his voice. “…You like it, don’t you?”

The blush deepened and he was utterly ashamed. He liked him better all shy and defensive! “No…”

A soft chuckle and he continued to massage his head very gently. “Oh, come on Gintoki. You want me to stop?”

Urgh. He didn’t know himself! He was being torn by these strange, contradicting feelings. “…Just get it over with so we can get into the bath.”

“Fine then.” Clearly in a better mood, Hijikata continued to shampoo his hair. He was being thorough and gentle, making Gin’s heartbeat fast and hard and dull. The silver head enjoyed it, even though he couldn’t fully let go. There was this dark, bitter and cold feeling still lurking inside of him. The fear of being rejected, the anxiety of losing this again and the creeping feeling of inferiority. Did he deserve so much love? Really? He couldn’t help but wonder and his chest hurt.

A gush of warm water was streaming down his back as Hijikata turned the shower on. He made sure not one bubble of soap remained in the silver locks and continued to make Gin flustered in doing so. When he was finally done, the Yorozuya raised himself and stepped into the preheated bathtub. The hot water prickled on his skin and made him feel dizzy for a second. Still, he let himself down and rested his arms and head on the edge, closing his eyes.

“Uhhh~… That’s the stuff.”

 

The water shifted when Hijikata got in next to him. It wasn’t overly spacious, but the tub was big enough to harbor them both. He could feel the cop’s feet and legs grazing his, as he leaned back and let out a relished sigh as well. Gin peeked at him for a second and felt the complicated feelings returning. The two of them being so familiar and domesticated like this… Not in his wildest dreams would he have ever imagined that. It felt nice and yet, surreal. It felt too good to be true.

And that was exactly why he was so afraid it wouldn’t last.

So he couldn’t shake this feeling after all, could he? This terror of being left alone again and losing everything he held dear. His head faced the other side, so Hijikata couldn’t see the emotions plastering his face. He couldn’t help it. He was so freaking terrified.

“…Gintoki?”

His voice was very soft, undemanding and yet, Gin couldn’t help but shudder under it. He pretended he was just relaxing and enjoying the bath, kept his voice high and carefree.

“Hm?”

It took a full moment before Hijikata carried on. “…Would you come here for a sec?”

He flinched and grew stiff, even though he was still leaning over the edge of the tub. “…Ha? I’m right here. What do you want?”

“…I…” The mayo enthusiast cleared his throat and seemed a bit embarrassed. “…wanna shift positions.”

“Ha?” He swallowed a gruff _what the hell are you talking about_ when he turned around to face him. As he stared at his reddened cheeks, he quickly understood. And it took his breath away. “…You… want us to cuddle…?”

The officer was unequivocally embarrassed, could hardly keep looking at him. But he tried and grunted softly. “…Yeah?”

Completely befuddled, Gin shook his head and then couldn’t suppress a low chortle. “You for real? Naww, you’re so freaking cute.”

“Just come here.” He demanded shyly and closed his eyes, his head burning red.

Gintoki was tempted. But then again, he didn’t want to get himself into an even more vulnerable position. He hesitated, making fun of him. “Nah, it’s too hot in here. If I’m too close to you, I’m gonna get dizzy for sure.”

Just one eye opening now, his voice challenging. “You’re too ashamed to do it? Or are you afraid you might like it as well?”

He was such a dirty bastard. Provoking him like that… “Tsk. Don’t get too cocky. ‘m not afraid. It’s just too hot.”

“No it’s not and now come here, for Pete’s sake. I bought you pudding, didn’t I?”

“Woah, now you’re going to blackmail me? How cheap! You’re calling yourself a cop?”

“Well, if you’re being tsundere what am I left to do with?”

“I'm not tsundere!”

“Really? Then prove it and come here.”

 

Ugh. He couldn’t believe this guy. How could he have outwitted him like that? Honestly, he should rethink his life decisions. Though there wasn’t much he could do now, was there? He had asked nicely after all… not to mention he had swallowed his pride in the first place. So, more than begrudgingly, Gintoki moved in and did as he was told.

“Fine then. Move your legs, will ya? Leaving me no space, damn bastard…”

A few seconds of clumsy moving around were needed until Gin sat between Hijikata’s legs and was leaning his back against his chest. His pulse was already beating fast, but when the policeman folded his strong arms around him, drawing him into a hug, he felt the whole thing going out of control. He was getting hot all right. Not because of the water and neither from arousal, though. All those different kinds of emotions were heating him up, burning him from the inside. He had a sour, quenching feeling in his gut. This had been a bad idea, he knew it.

Did he really deserve such a nice man? Did he earn this gentleness? Did he really?

Hijikata was hugging him tightly now, stronger than was called for in this kind of situation. He was pressing him against his chest and made no attempt of letting go. Gin could feel his nose grazing his ear and cheek and his breath on his neck. It made him shiver and bite his teeth together. A snarky remark lay on his tongue but he just couldn’t usher it. He was petrified in such a longing embrace.

He was so fucking glad Hijikata couldn’t see his face now. He wasn’t able to hold in any of these emotions. They bubbled up and burst to the surface. He was so freaking afraid of losing him. He was horrified of this feeling inside of him, he couldn’t control. He was terrified to show his weak side to him. People loved him because he appeared strong and because they could count on him. Hijikata was no exception. So he couldn’t give in. He wouldn’t let him see his distress and sorrow.  

“Gintoki…” His voice was a soft whisper, but his lips were directly next to his ear. It made him shiver. He still couldn’t get used to this guy using his first name. It got him every time.

He couldn’t reply. He just couldn’t.

Hijikata was hugging him firmly and nudged his nose against his wet hair. “…If you need my help with anything… you just have to ask.”

 

Gintoki gulped and the bitter feeling twisted his gut, making him sick. So he knew. So he _had_ realized. Well, there was no point denying it anymore, was there? Who was he trying to fool? These feelings didn’t go away. And he was utterly helpless under them.

The silver head held his breath. He didn’t move, bit his lip and struggled. If he said something now, his voice would shake for sure and betray him. He didn’t want to let that happen.

“…It’s probably none of my business, I know…” his hug was still strong but his voice was soft. “…But I’d like to help you if I can.”

Gin couldn’t bear it. The anxiety battled with loving warmth in his chest and he felt defeated. Hijikata had seen right through him. He didn’t force him, didn’t expose him. He was just recognizing something was off and was offering his help. He wanted to comfort him… The silver head swallowed and felt lost in his strong arms. There was no point in hiding anymore. The urge to deny all of this, to counter it with some snarky comments was strong, very strong. It would just make a fool out of him. And he also yearned for his help, yearned to let go.

Instinctively, Gin raised his arms and touched Hijikata’s. His head nudged against his in a gesture of affection. His voice was thin. “…Thanks…”

The policeman was shivering as well, but he seemed to sense Gin’s yearning for closeness. One of his arms moved and he let his fingers run through silver locks. Very gently. While he was still holding him, his lips placed a feathery kiss on his cheek. Gintoki felt as if he would drown in this suffocating closeness, in this unbearable tenderness, in this unfamiliar affection. It felt so odd, so frightening. But if Hijikata had already seen his weak side and decided to answer it with this… what was he waiting for then?

Who was he kidding anyway? He wanted this. And he had overcome his fear so many times now. He should have learned by now that there was nothing to be afraid of. He needed that. He wanted that. To be that close to him and get lost in his arms.

 He loved that freaking bastard. From the bottom of his heart.

The Yorozuya twisted his head enough so he could caress him. It was a weird and uncomfortable angle, but they still somehow managed to meet in a kiss. It was an odd kiss. Not at all passionate or longing or dirty. Just very deep and gentle and unhurried. A soft touching of their lips, an undemanding pressing of red skin against each other, their breaths mingling and swirling into each other. Gintoki’s heart was beating higher now and he was allowing the warmth to grow stronger. Acknowledging the inseparable bond they had formed. There was no room for him to be scared. Not with this man at his side at least.

When their kiss ended, both men were gazing at each other with half-opened eyelids. Gintoki couldn’t suppress a smile, honest this time. His fingers were brushing dark strands of hair behind his ear and stroking over newly shaved cheeks. As the officer realized this candid smirk, he smiled as well, tracing his fingernails over his throat. For a long, peaceful moment, neither of them moved or said anything. They just enjoyed their company and the air between them.

 

Another kiss later, Gin was snuggling up to the officer, comfortably now. Just like a cat, he was purring and nestling his face against Hijikata’s collarbone, clawing his fingernails gently into his skin. The black-haired man let him do as he pleased and wrapped his arms around him once more. His eyes closed and he suppressed a pleased sigh. He was so relieved Gintoki had finally dropped his masquerade and his despondent look. It had seriously worried him. He couldn’t stand this fake smile on his face. He couldn’t bare him acting like nothing was wrong.

All he wanted was that this guy would open up to him a little, let him help him deal with his troubles. He wanted to repay the kindness he had received, wanted to protect him from his ghosts. He wanted to be the shelter he deserved, the shield he could use when he was hurt. He wanted him to feel at home in his arms. That’s all he wanted.

“Thanks for coming by today.” The red-eyed man whispered and it was easy to hear, he meant it.

So the officer couldn’t refrain from letting his fingers get lost in silver locks and his lips from pressing another kiss on his temple. Being like this was still a bit odd, unaccustomed. But he loved it with every last fiber of his being. This was where he was supposed to be. This was where he wanted to be. Where he wanted to stay until the day that he died.

Who would ever have thought it would be in the arms of this man?

 

~~~

Bonus:

The awesome [gabyvousaime](http://gabyvousaime.tumblr.com/) drew the [bathroom scene ](http://gabyvousaime.tumblr.com/post/176563051859/this-is-a-commission-i-did-for-eniells)for me! Please also check her out on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/gabyvousaime/status/1025103238326972416)!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Taiko: typical Japanese drum.
> 
> *Zōri are flat sandals, like flip-flops.


	10. From alien parasites to people sitting in trees

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a lot of typical Japanese stuff in it. It’s too much to put it into annotations, so please just look them up yourselves.
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!

## From alien parasites to people sitting in trees

 

It was odd. Just plain odd.

A man with olive-brown hair and steel blue eyes sat on their couch, at their coffee table and sipped a cup of tea. In front of him stood three bowls of rice and various small plates with food. There was smoked salmon, raw egg, nattō, tofu, some sukonbu and three types of beans. A rather fancy breakfast and nothing he would expect to find at the Yorozuya’s household.

Speaking of which, this was by far the oddest thing. He, Hijikata Toushirou, sitting on their breakfast table after he had spent the night.

He couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable with that. It was the first time, too and he was a bit nervous. It was a new level of how _real_ their relationship was now. Having breakfast together… that was definitely a thing that only people in serious relationships were doing. He felt happy about that, he wanted to be serious with him after all. But still, it was a rather unfamiliar situation and he did not know how to deal with that.

Gintoki had kicked Kagura out of bed some time ago. They were waiting for her now while she was brushing her teeth. The TV was on in the meantime and Gin was following the weather, or rather the weather lady. Hijikata could just frown at his obsession with this woman. Sometimes he wondered if she was a real threat to their relationship, but that somehow seemed ridiculous. He didn’t comment on that, he would leave him his fantasies.

Then, all of the sudden, a sharp shriek made both men shudder. But it was Hijikata who turned around to face the corridor while Gintoki seemed unfazed.

“What was that?” he ushered suspiciously.

“Nah, it’s probably nothing.” Gin replied while picking his nose. “She probably just slipped and fell.”

“And that’s nothing?” his eyes gleamed reproachfully. “What if she’s hurt?”

“Don’t worry.” The silver head was completely unimpressed and continued to stare into the old television. “She’s a Yato. She won’t die from something like this.”

“Still…” The cop turned around again and listened for anything else.

The next second, another high-pitched cry sounded, longer this time. And it got louder, too. Footsteps mixed in and they heard her running into the living room. Next thing they knew, a little girl in her pajamas with sand in her eyes and messy hair stood at the table and looked at them. Tears were filling her eyes.

“Gin-chaaaaaaan!”

“Huh? What’s up?” He didn’t pay her any attention, just continued to watch the news. “If you’re going on about wanting me to buy you beauty products, you can forget it! We don’t have money for that. And real women don’t need that crap. Their faces resemble their inner beauty. Only rotten women need make-up.”

Sometimes, he forgot how much of an ass this man could be. Still, Hijikata was in no position to comfort this girl in any way, so he just eyed her with a bothered expression plastered on his face. Kagura didn’t stop crying and was shaking her head. “No! That’s not it! I… I...!” She used her arm to brush away the tears and sniffled. “…I went to the toilet and…  and… everything was full of blood!”

And like that, both men froze into blocks of ice.

Moving like broken, unoiled machines, they looked at each other, internally screaming for help.

In the meantime, the crocodile tears running down her face created a pool in front of her feet. “…am I… am I gonna die now?”

In pure horror, both men stared at her with their jaws dropped. They were definitely not ready for that. Panicky, Gin glared at Hijikata and begged him via telepathy to say something. But the cop just grinded his teeth and told him to fix his own mess, telepathically as well of course. For a short moment, the two samurai insulted each other and traded glares like bullets. It got them nowhere. Because when Kagura started sobbing loudly again, they knew they had to act.

“…Gin-chan…”

Finally, Gintoki sighed and scratched his head, patting on the couch with the other hand, indicating her to sit down.

“Ugh, come here.”

Frightened, she slumped down next to him and stared at him with big, blue eyes.

“It’s like this…” The silver head cleared his throat and made a wide gesture. “Well… just imagine it like there is an alien parasite inside your stomach eating its way through your intestines. What comes out is blood. It’s as simple as that.”

When her eyes widened in shock, Hijikata placed his fist in Gintoki’s face, rocket punching him over the couch. “Don’t teach her such nonsense!”

Holding his nose, Gin was glaring at him from the floor. “Grrr! Bastard! Then _you_ tell her if you’re such an expert in that field!”

Instantly, the policeman blushed, stuttered. “Well, that’s… um…”

“Toshiiii…” Kagura stared at him now, her eyes watery. “What’s happening to me?”

“…That’s…” His voice was just a whisper now. “…women’s domain.”

And now it was Gin’s turn to hit him. “Wow! You’re a real hero!”

“Shut up! How am I supposed to explain that? I’m not a woman!”

“You sure? Because sometimes you sure act like one!”

“What did you just say? If anyone’s acting like a woman, it’s you! Gulping down sweets, fangirling, dressing up like one!”

“That’s manly, too!”

“Who caaaares?! She’s your adopted daughter! Why are you always dragging me into your mess?!”

“Don’t go quitting on me now! You’re the straight man here! It’s your job to educate her! You’re a cop, aren’t you! Surely that’s somewhere in your jurisdiction!”

“You’re the worst father I have ever seen!”

“Gin-chan…” Kagura was sobbing still, holding her face to hide the tears. “…am I… gonna change now?”

Both men were ripping at each other’s yukatas, but when they looked at her, they knew they were being stupid. Gin scratched his neck and closed his eyes, sighing. “Well, you know what? …I don’t think neither of us can explain that very well. Let’s go to the Shimura’s place. I’m sure Otae can help you more than we could.”

Crying, she nodded and Hijikata felt so out of place. But at least that was a good idea.

He hadn’t expected that he was supposed to tag along, though.

 

~ ~ ~

 

Hijikata was sitting on the seat cushion by the low table in the Shimura’s living room. On the other side, a slightly uptight boy with glasses crouched, his back straight and his posture unmoving like he was a statue. His cold, lifeless glance was aimed at the table and a dark aura was omitting from his body. Next to him, a man in a white yukata paced up and down the room, holding his chin while doing so. The air in the room was thick and unpleasant. It reminded him of one of these doctors’ series where the family had to stay in the waiting area while one of their loved ones was in the operating room, struggling to stay alive.

It was ridiculous.

The cop was messaging the root of his nose and tried ignoring Gintoki’s annoying running around. They were waiting for the two girls to come back. Otae seemed happy to take care of her and explain everything to her, so they had been in the bathroom for quite some time now. Shinpachi was especially horrified by the news and froze into a block of ice at some point, apparently. They hadn’t exchanged a single word since they had been ushered to wait here. It really felt as if Kagura was on the brink of death. Ridiculous. Just ridiculous. So why did he have to be here as well? Darn it.

As he couldn’t bear the silver head’s nervous pacing around any longer, Hijikata crossed his arms and hissed at him, quietly. “Will you _sit down_ already?”

A horrified glare was thrown into his direction, his voice toppling over. “Don’t order me around, assface!”

Just a rolling of his eyes. “For God’s sake… why’re you two acting like this is the end of the world? She just got her period. That’s completely normal. No reason to freak out, really.”

A loud shushing and the Yorozuya came face to face with him, hissing. “Don’t-ever-say-that!”

He was annoyed for real now. “What? What’s wrong with you guys? You should’ve known it would come to this sooner or later, right? Why are you acting like it’s a big deal?”

“ _Why_ you ask?” Gintoki’s eyeballs were literally squeezing out of their sockets and were laced with blood-red veins. His fingertip was piercing inside his chest. “Don’t act so high and mighty! You don’t live with her in one apartment! She’s not your daughter! How would you know how a father would feel, huh?!”

“She’s not your daughter either, you know?” Grunting, he shoved him away. “What’s the big deal, huh?”

“The deal is that… that…” He froze and gulped loudly, terrified now. The next second he broke down at the table, crushed his head on it and buried it with his arms and hands, sobbing. “…that I’M gonna have to buy her all these _things_ now! Do you have any idea how expensive these things are? We never needed a trash bin inside the bathroom until now! But now? You know how expensive trashcans are? Do you? Do you?”

“Is money all you ever think about, you scumbag?!” Hijikata was giving him a clout, pissed off. “My god, she’s bleeding and in pain and that’s all YOU think about?”

“She’s a… she’s a real woman now, isn’t she…” A gloomy voice suddenly sounded from the other side of the table. Shinpachi’s face was distorted and the dark aura was running rampant around him like the tentacles of an octopus. “…Little Kagura-chan… I thought we could stay the way we were forever… but… I guess all children need to grow up.” A sniff and the tears came. “…I mean… just yesterday she was… so naïve and childish and now… she’s… she’s…” That was the point where his head hit the table, too and the waterworks got out of control. “…she’s getting more character development than me! That’s so unfair!”

“THAT’S what you care about?!”

“We’re scraping by as it is, why does this have to happen _now_?!” Gin was hitting the table with his fist. “Do I have to pay sick leave now? Do I have to pay her doctor’s fees? Do I need to educate her about birds and bees now? Damn it, why does this have to happen today?! They’re getting new Pachinko machines next week!”

“…Do I have to treat her differently now?” Shinpachi’s eyes were blank and empty. “Like… does that mean she’s an adult now? How can she be an adult when I’m still a virgin? Is she gonna get a boyfriend next? Marry someone? Have kids? What about me? I’m gonna die alone. I’ll never be an adult… I don’t even have a special attack yet. When will be my turn to get a major character development? …I’m not prepared for this… I’m not prepared for this… I’m not…”

“Oh dear…” Hijikata messaged his forehead and didn’t know what to say anymore. These two guys were hopeless, just hopelessly stupid. What a monkey business! He couldn’t deal with this much bullshit. Annoyed but still relatively calm, he waved it off. “Will you two calm down? Nothing’s gonna change. If anything, you two should be proud of her, shouldn’t you? She needs your support now, not you drowning in self-pity. So stop crying and be happy for her. You’re her family, aren’t you? So congratulate her and throw her a party instead.”

“A party does sound nice.” A coy laughter slipping out behind a hand sounded into the room as Otae closed the fusuma behind her and tilted her head with a smile.

“Damn straight!” Kagura stood next to her and was shaking her fists at them. “I’m a woman now, so you three losers have to do what I say now, ya hear me?!”

Perplexed and with his jaw dropped, Hijikata stared at her while Shinpachi and Gin were still crying.

The redheaded girl didn’t even let them start and stomped her foot on the table. “Listen up, noobs! While I’m on my period, you’ll do whatever I want, ya hear me?! You need to take care of me because once a month I’m gonna lose A LOT of blood. Gin-chan!” His head tilted to the side so he could glance at her from between his arms. Kagura’s eyes were fiery. “YOU’RE gonna go shopping with me tomorrow! No discussion there! And _you_ , Shinpachi!” The boy stared at her with vacant eyes. “You’re gonna be the nicest guy ever! If I say, I’m gonna need ice cream to stop the pain, you _bring_ me ice cream!”

There was only time for a low rumble of sighs and Otae’s giggle before Kagura set her sights on Hijikata. “And _you_ , Mayora! You promised me to take me out to Korean BBQ a while back and today’s the day! I need all the comfort food I can get to deal with all the blood loss! So are you gonna pay for it or not?!”

As everyone was staring at him expectantly and Gin had the nerve to have a smug grin on his face, the officer didn’t know what to do or how the hell he got into this kind of situation. Kagura’s eyes were flaring up, dancing flames that didn’t allow any talking back. So Hijikata bent his back, buried his head between his shoulders and stared at the table, obsequiously. “…Y-Yes Ma’am.”

How could he possibly say no to her in that kind of situation?

 

~ ~ ~

 

So they ended up in a Koran BBQ restaurant, all five of them. On the one side, Kagura and Gintoki sat and were fighting about what to order while on the other side, Otae, Shinpachi, and Hijikata squeezed together on the narrow bench. The restaurant was quite crowded and there was a delicious smell in the air that easily got their mouths watering already. A waitress stood next to them and tried to take their orders, which was kind of difficult because Gin and Kagura switched them all the time to get an even better and fancier one than the other. At some point, Shinpachi started screeching at them, but only when Otae put on her evil threatening smile, they finally gave up and placed their orders. Hijikata didn’t even say anything anymore, he was just messaging his forehead and internally crying over all the money this would cost.

But, it wasn’t that he minded too much. Kagura seemed fine again and he could spend some time with Gintoki. He wouldn’t admit it, but he kind of liked being together with all the Yorozuya. It was a nice piece of change. For once, no one was naked, trying to kill him or talking about _anpan_. So he didn’t complain and eyed the others instead. He didn’t need to take part in the conversations and fights. It was nice just watching them. The cop couldn’t refrain from a tiny smile when the alien girl started stretching out Gin’s face and he thrust his fingers into her nose.

“Thanks for inviting us, Hijikata-san.”

He was a bit startled by the soft voice next to him and when he looked at him, he could see the teenage boy with the glasses smile. Clearing his throat for a second, he nodded and looked back into his brown eyes. “Um… no problem.”

His smile was relieved and full of joy as he glimpsed over to the redhead. “I guess… you were right. Nothing really changed, after all. She’s still our little Kagura-chan.”

“Hm.” Was the only, approving answer as he followed his glance to look at her.

For a second, silence stood between them and Hijikata realized they hadn’t really talked one on one before. Not after they had come out, at least. It was strange because he didn’t really know how to talk to him or if he got used to them… being together yet. He liked the boy, had always liked him. The only sane guy in the Yorozuya, after all. Both of them were straight characters and had to endure the shit of their friends. That created some kind of unspoken connection, some kind of feeling of comradery. Of course, none of those two would talk so openly about that. They still had a distanced relationship to each other. They weren’t exactly close.

But still, Hijikata had a lot of respect for the little glasses boy. He couldn’t help but feel responsible for him like he was his protégé. Shinpachi also had a lot of potential in his eyes. Too bad he probably didn’t want to join the Shinsengumi. He would have a steep career there. Yet, Hijikata knew that this was where the boy belonged. He had his dōjo and the Yorozuya. Besides, Gin would probably feel lonely if he wouldn't be around anymore. He meant a lot to the silver head.

All the more did Hijikata want to get along with him. But that was easier in his head than in reality. He didn’t know the first thing about talking with a teenage boy. What should he talk about? He didn’t want to be too casual, yet, he couldn’t start a deep, meaningful conversation either. In fact, he didn’t know much about the boy and even though that hadn’t held him off until now, he felt like he should somehow act differently around him. Ah man, this was difficult…

“Well, you know…” Shinpachi suddenly said and started scratching his head. “…now that I think about it, Kagura probably doesn’t feel much pain. Being a Yato and all. So I guess that may explain why she isn’t really different from before.”

“Oh um… yeah, that makes sense…”

A genuine smile appeared on Shinpachi’s face and he glanced at him. “So, Hijikata-san. How’s it going at work? Any luck with the drug cases?”

“Um…” It was easy to tell he felt uncomfortable with this, but he tried anyway. “Yeah, everything’s fine. We’re making small progress. …How do you know about the drug cases?”

“Oh, haha sorry. It was on TV and I figured it would possibly fall under your jurisdiction, wouldn’t it? Being terrorist-related?”

“Ah yes, yes.” Hijikata tried to regain his posture but looked a bit stiff. “We’re on it, so no need to worry. …How’s life at your place?”

“Good, good.” Shinpachi nodded and smiled at him. “We’re finally getting a few more students at the dōjo and some of them are really talented. Also, we got a new job next week.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah.” More scratching and a genuine smile. “A young man came to our place a few days before and asked us if we could perform at a wedding. Seems like the artists they hired canceled.”

“A wedding?” The policeman was a little taken aback. “What are you supposed to do there?”

“Oh, you know… we’ll figure something out. They just want a little bit of diversion at the reception. The pay is really good, too.”

“I see… well then, congratulations.”

“Thanks, I think, we’ll-“

“WOAH! LOOK AT ALL THE MEAT!”

 

When the waitress brought the big grill with all the different kind of cups and bowls with meat and vegetables and shrimp and dips, Kagura jumped out of her seat and started drooling. The lady had just placed everything on the table when the girl started filling the hot plate with half of the meat. Of course, Gintoki was all over her ass, shoving her away and screaming at her. The table began to jerk and the glasses to shake dangerously. The whole restaurant was turning towards them, staring at the troublemakers. But, as per usual, neither of them cared.

“Don’t hog all the meat, you greedy pig! Leave something for the others too!”

“Shut it, geezer! I’m losing a lot of blood! I need all the protein and iron I can get! This is _my_ party or did you forget?”

“ _Your party_ , my ass! My boy toy’s paying for everything! And you’re still growing! Try eating some vegetables!”

A throbbing vain spurted on Hijikata’s forehead and he glared at _his_ _boy toy_.

“Nun-uh! You eat the vegetables! You’re a child trapped inside a man’s body after all!”

“So what? I’m still taller than you. I don’t need any vegetables! Men need to eat meat or else they can’t function!”

“Oh yeah? How come then you eat so much meat and still can’t be considered a functioning member of society?”

“Excuse me? If I’m a failure what are you?”

“I’m…” the little girl combed through her hair with her fingers and closed her eyes dramatically. “…a woman now.”

“Yeah, right! And I’m Ashitaka from _Princess Mononoke_!“

"Hah, as if! You’re never gonna have an iron town full of girls fangirling over your strength! You can’t even get one girl to kiss you!“

"Woah, who says I can’t? There’s a bunch of chicks only waiting for me to kiss them!“

"In your dreams, samurai poop!“

While Hijikata was trying to keep his cool, but failed miserably and omitted a dark aura, Shinpachi next to him waved his hands in a calming gesture. "Well, well. That isn’t the place to fight about something like this, is it? There’s no need for Gin-san to kiss any girl, right? Because well...“

He nodded a bit into Hijikata’s direction, though neither father nor daughter seemed to get the hint. Instead, they started ganging up on him, their faces vicious.

" _Ohhh_ , look who’s talking!“ Gin grumbled. "So you also think I’m not a chick magnet? Well, that’s rich coming from a _virgin_ like you!“

"Yeah!“ Kagura chuckled darkly. "The only girl you ever kissed was your sweet Otsu-chan’s poster, ain't that right?“

And as sure as the sun goes down every night, Shinpachi’s head turned purple and he started screaming at them. "Shut up you two! That’s not true!“

"Ohh!“ Gintoki had one of his most sadistic faces ever and his voice cracked. "You mean like you’re _not_ a virgin? No way! Did you rub your filthy microphone all over Otsu’s poster? Oh my!“

"Shin-chan, is that true?“ A horrified expression plastered his sister’s face.

"I DID NOTHING LIKE THAT!“

“Ohhh, look how flustered he gets.” Kagura held her hand in front of her mouth and giggled. “So it must be true, then.”

Haha, Patsu-san, I was wrong about you. You’re a real man now. Congrats!”

Now it was Shinpachi’s turn to jump up and hit them. “I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you both!”

Hijikata just sighed and held his head. “Oh dear…”

“See? Even my boyfriend agrees you still _have_ to be a virgin!”

“I do- what?!”

“Oh come on, Hijikata-kun!” Gintoki glared at him with a blank expression. “You were a virgin not so long ago. You know how it is! Back me up here!”

As Otae and Kagura started chuckling, the cop’s face turned burning red and he began to tremble. “I… I wasn’t… a…”

“Sure you were!” Gin’s grin turned nasty now. “I mean… until I was done with you, you were one at least. Kukukuku~”

And that was about the time, the officer drew his sword and caused a high-pitched scream echoing through the restaurant.

 

~ ~ ~

 

He really didn’t remember how everything had tied together after this. But for some reason, the fights had ended some time after that. Maybe it had been Hijikata-san beating up Gin in front of everyone, maybe it had been Otae switching to demon mode to silence them all or maybe it had been the restaurant manager giving them a last warning before he would kick them out. In any case, they were eating in silence now, paralyzed by the threatening glares of his sister going around periodically.

Kagura didn’t really mind, she just seemed happy and was gleefully shoving meat and vegetables into her mouth – after Otae had convinced her eating vegetables would do her good in her current condition. Next to her, a beaten up Gin sat, grumpy and sulking. He nipped on his beer from time to time and tried chewing the meat which was quite a challenge considering his swollen lip. In front of him, Hijikata-san sat and didn’t open his eyes anymore. He was still being pissed at him - that was hard to overlook. Shinpachi, on the contrary, was trying his best to figure out a new topic. So far? No luck. Maybe it was best just to leave them alone before he would start another war.

Still, he couldn’t help but glimpse at the man next to him from time to time. The tall man with the olive-brown hair was angry, but he couldn’t sense any aversion coming towards him. He could relate to him, in some sense. Well, apart from the whole being Gin-san’s boyfriend, of course. Still, he knew how frustrating it could get dealing with these two maniacs. And he realized Hijikata gave his best to make it work. Somehow, Shinpachi was really glad about that. He even felt flattered about the Shinsengumi officer’s attempt to spend some time with them. It wasn’t that he had to really. Hijikata didn’t need to prove anything. Shinpachi had already accepted him a long time ago.

In fact, the boy with the glasses couldn’t help but admire the policeman. He had the utmost respect for him and for some reason, Hijikata-san was more of a big brother than Gin was. Or at least a more responsible and depended one. In that sense, Hijikata had a lot of qualities the silver head lacked. He was more serious, more of a mentor and more of a role model, really. Shinpachi felt that he could relate to the Shinsengumi officer much more than he could to the crazy guy bringing a wooden sword everywhere he went. That didn’t mean he preferred him over Gin-san. But in fact, they just really complemented each other.

A flicker of a smile brushed over his lips and he closed his eyes for a second before he eyed the two men again. Where Hijikata scored with being a responsible adult, Gin won with being the funnier person. He was just batshit crazy and that allowed them to come out of their shell as well. There was just something charismatic about his free-minded spirit, his stupid jokes, and twisted logic, something that drew them to his side. The man next to him didn’t seem to be any exception from that. In fact, the two of them were a great team when played together. Together they made the perfect big brother.

Shinpachi couldn’t hide how proud he was to have Hijikata at his side now. And he knew it was good for his mentor, too. He saw how they glanced at each other from time to time and honestly, he found that quite sweet. He was happy for them and it didn’t even matter anymore that they were both men. In any case, Hijikata was the thing that had been missing. He made Gin happy. And Shinpachi couldn’t suppress a smile at that.

“Oh hey, how about we play a game?”

A low, unimpressed rumble came from the other side. Otae was the only one clapping her hands gleefully. “That’s a great idea!”

“….yeeeeah…” Kagura and Gin grunted in unison.

“Oh come on, that’s fun!” The glasses boy wanted to lighten the mood a bit. “How about word chain? Someone says a word and then the next person has to form a new word with the last syllable. However, the word cannot end with an _n_ or else you’re out.”

“Do we really have to play such a children’s game?” The silver head complained and added in a mumble. “No wonder you’re still a virgin.”

Generously though not without a throbbing vain, Shinpachi ignored that and continued. “Okay! Let’s do a category. How about things we like?”

“I’d like you to shut up.” Kagura answered lackadaisically and got an approving grin from her foster dad.

Another throbbing vain, but he just smiled and kept on. “Alright, I’ll start then. Um… ah, I got one! Korean food!”

He stared at Hijikata, who seemed a bit out of it, but quickly realized he was supposed to play. “Um… D? …Doughnuts… I guess?”

“Great! Now you, Gin-san!”

“Strippers.” He replied unfazed and chewed on his meat.

“Sukonbu!” Kagura quickly replied before Shinpachi could even bitch about it.

“Bu hmm…” Otae tilted her head. “Oh! _Buyō_!”

A quick sigh and he gave up. At least they played. “…O… Okonomiyaki!”

Hijikata didn’t seem too much into the game, but he tried his best to participate. “Ki… Kimchi?”

“Woah, I didn’t think you liked Kimchi.” Gin teased, but Hijikata just told him to play the game, so he did. “Fine then… Chicken fried raisu!”

“Sumo!”

“Mononoke Hime.”

“Me… Melon soda!”

“…Da… daikon- no!”

“Hahaha!” Kagura laughed at him. “ You ended a word with _n_! Too bad, _Toshi!_ Oi, Gin-chan you’re next! New word!”

“Woah, this is a pain in the ass.” The silver head wasn’t really involved in the game, after all. “Can’t we just talk normally? Do we have to play these virgin games?”

Both Hijikata and Shinpachi grinded their teeth at that, but Kagura just stared at him, shaking her fist. “New word! Now!”

“Ugh alright… Strawberry Milk.”

“Kung-fu!”

“Full Metal Alchemist!”

“Really? You like full metal alchemist? Woahh!” Suddenly Kagura almost jumped out of her chair and her eyes sparkled as she eyed Otae.

The brunette just chuckled and nodded. “Of course. You, too?”

“Woahh! Of course! Who’s your favorite character?”

“Oh, Edward of course. Isn’t he just too cute?”

“Yeah, he’s alright. But what do you think about Alex Armstrong? He’s badass, isn’t he?”

“Hahaha, somehow I knew you would like him. But you know, Winry and Riza are also pretty badass, don’t you think?”

“Do I think? They are the most badass women I have ever seen!”

Shinpachi sighed, which earned him a grin from his mentor. “Give it up already, Patsu-san. Your games are boring.”

“Sorry for wanting to have a good time!” he muttered.

“Gin-chan! Who’s your favorite character?”

“You have to ask? Of course, it’s Lust. She’s the hottest babe in any anime ever.”

“As if you ever had a shot with her!” Kagura rolled her eyes.

“Shut it! I might have! You never know!”

They started arguing again and Otae leaned over the table to look at the policeman. “What about you, Hijikata-san? Who’s your favorite character from the show?”

“Um…” He sighed and scratched his head. “…Roy Mustang maybe?”

Which got her chuckling. “I see… very fitting.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah, yeah.” She seemed in an awfully good mood. Only then he realized the sake bottle next to her. “Well, you’re both dutiful men, officers, he’s mostly a straight character and oh!” A slight drunken chuckle again. “You’re both heart-throbs.”

“Oh… I see…” he answered, a bit taken aback.

“Sis, are you drunk?”

“No way!” Laughing, she gave him a little clout and accidentally buried Shinpachi’s head on the table in doing so. “I’m just so happy we’re having a party!”

Terrified, Hijikata stared at her and at the same time, trying to make as less eye contact as possible. She then pulled her little brother up again and was patting his back.

“Let’s play some more! More things we like! Come on! I’ll take a new word! I know! _Shō_! You know? The instrument?”

“Um… sis…” Shinpachi held his painfully hurting nose and glanced at her, shyly. “You actually can’t… have a word with only one syllable.”

“’Course I can! Now, go! Make a word with sho!”

“Alright, alright!” He ducked his head and began to stutter. “Sho… sho… sho… shogun… no… ah! _Shōgi_!”

“Hijikata-kun! Your turn!” Otae giggled and swung the sake bottle around. “Come on! Faster!”

A little panicky and admittedly frightened by this woman, he started guessing. “Oh um… Shōgi… uhm Gi… gi… gin… Gin…”

Suddenly, all eyes were pinned on him and for a second he didn’t realize why. Then, Otae and Kagura began to giggle and his boyfriend flashed his dirtiest grin. “Gin…?”

“Gi-gi-gi-GINGER!” he blurted out and could feel his cheeks reddening.

But it was too late. Gintoki was already chuckling lowly and staring at him with a smug grin. “So… talking about things you like, huh?”

“I… I said ginger!” Hijikata insisted and hissed at him, head full red.

“Keheheh~. Gin-chan and Toshii sitting in a tree~!” Kagura began to tease. “K-i-s-s-i-n-g!”

Otae began laughing maniacally at that and Gin reached out to touch his hand as if he wanted to comfort him. But his diabolical smile betrayed him. “Don’t worry, sweet pea _. Of course_ , you wanted to say ginger. _We all know that_!”

 _God, he just wanted to crawl into a hole and die there!_ Hijikata buried his face in his hand and grunted.

“Oi, Toshi!” Suddenly, a very low, familiar manly voice startled him and the next second, he could see the face of his commander poking out from under the table, staring at him. “You sure you wanted to say ginger? Sure you weren’t about to say the name of your boyfriend? Ne? Ne?”

Oh dear lord. Not Kondou-san, too!

“You guys are so sweet!” He chirped and then crawled out under the table to jump at his beloved Otae. “Oh, Otae-san! My favorite character from FMA is Edward, too! We have so much in common! Please marry me alrea-“

And with an ear-battering noise, she kicked him into the gut and threw him all to the other end of the restaurant, wrecking everything in its path. “WHO THE FUCK INVITED YOU CREEP?!”

 

Bonus:

 

“I’m truly sorry. Really.” Hijikata bowed for the millionth time in front of the shop owner. Shinpachi was right next to him, doing the same. The rest of the _gang_ was already kicked outside and they could hear them arguing. Both men were visibly embarrassed and one might suspect they were used to that already. Turned out they were not, not quite. Sometimes it was hard to believe how much shit they had to endure with these maniacs.

“Please take this as a small reimbursement.” The cop opened his wallet and handed the manager a small check. From this angle, Shinpachi could see a small photo tucked into the backside of his wallet. He could see Hijikata with Gin on the photo and they appeared to be cuddling. Silently smiling at than, Shinpachi bowed again and chose not to mention it.

When they turned around and took their leave, Hijikata let out a heavy sigh.

“Rough bunch, huh?” The teenager smirked.

“Yeah… tell me about it…”

“But you know…” Not being able to suppress a coy laughter, he looked onwards. “I’m glad you’re here. Feels good to know I’m not the only one sighing.”

As he felt Hijikata looking at him, he returned the glance and smiled. The policeman let out a small grunt and fumbled for something the next second. Before they could get to the door, he halted the teenager and gave him a small folded piece of paper.

“Listen, kid…” his face was serious, but Shinpachi could feel the warmth in his voice. “…here’s my phone number. If you ever get in trouble or need help… just call me.”

Perplexed at first, but proud the next second, the glasses boy nodded and gave him his brightest smile. “Sure, I will. Thanks, Hijikata-san.”


	11. Every man has an inner child

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks! My first real arc is going to start. I’m so excited about this!  
> I really hope you’ll enjoy it!
> 
> Let the Teenage Arc begin!

## Every man has an inner child

 

“ _Well… thank you for… these um… excellent performances_ …”

The speakerphone crackled and made a sharp _squiiieck_ for a second before the moderator cleared his throat and let his gaze wander through the audience. He was a well-dressed man in his forties with a navy blue suit and a red-blue checkered tie. A red napkin tugged into his breast pocket and dark blue lace shoes made him look like a show master. Behind him, three rather odd figures stood on the stage, waiting for the meager applause to stop.

The first figure was a little girl in the costume of _Leifang_ from the fighting game _Dead or Alive_ – naturally with two big balloons stuffed into her chest area. On top of that, she was wearing ridiculously huge glasses, which blurred her eyes. Next to her stood a tall man dressed up as _Zoro_ from _One Piece_ , in the version with the scar on his face and three wooden swords on his waist. And well… next to that… Shinpachi stood. Dressed as a clown. In a huge puffy white clown costume with red dots on it, wearing a fake red nose and a purple Afro.

“ _Dear ladies and gentlemen… that concludes the entertainment part for today. We’ll play some music now and all of you may adjourn to the dance floor, the garden or the private chambers.”_ With an easy smile, he gestured and got a bigger applause this time. When the band finally started to play smooth jazz, most of the guests were standing up and left the room. Good mannered as always, the three Yorozuya left the stage as well and waited near the gift table reserved for the bride and groom.

Kagura was the first one to sigh. “Ahhh, finally over. What do you think, Gin-chan? You think they liked it?”

“Of coouuurse!” With a satisfied grin _Zoro_ waved it off and crossed his arms. “We killed them!”

“Yeah… we killed them alright…” Shinpachi moaned and looked around. He hadn’t been able to take a closer look at the wedding guests before, but now that he was out of the spotlight, he scrutinized them more closely.

All of them were very well dressed. The men wore expensive dark suits and the women elegant long silk dresses, some of which very revealing. But that wasn’t the thing that got the young teenager nervous all of the sudden. At closer look, the men in this room looked awfully sleazy. One of them looked like _Mizuki Akabayashi_ from the Yakuza group in _Durarara!!._ Especially with the scar across his face and the sunglasses on his nose. Two others looked like _Worick Arcangelo_ and _Nicolas Brown_ from the manga _Gangsta_ , all with eye patch and cigarettes and stuff. One of them even looked like _Crocodile_ from _One Piece_ and he was smoking cigars with a woman that looked awfully like _Nico Robin_ in the Alabasta Arc.

“Um… Gin-san…” Shinpachi whispered lowly, a little bit of sweat breaking out on his forehead. “Don’t you… don’t you think these people look somehow… strange?”

“Strange?” The man with the three wooden swords tilted his head and looked around before he stared back at him. “No? Why?”

“I mean,…” the sweat got worse and he gulped. “…who are these people here anyway? …I mean… don't you think they look like… look like…”

“Like what?” Kagura was picking her teeth and didn’t care at all. “Hungry? Because I am!”

“No… like… _mafia bosses_!” Shin’s voice squeaked a little at that and he covered his mouth because he was afraid somebody might have heard.

“Ahhh, no way!” Gin waved it off and looked through the room for the guy who was supposed to pay them. “These people ain’t no mafia bosses. I mean come on! They don’t look like Yakuza at all. Look! This guy even has a dragon tattoo on his back. Which kind of Yakuza would have a tattoo like that?”

The teenage boy started shaking him now, his eyes almost popping out of their sockets. “ _All of them_!”

“Would you relax?” The man with the green wig pushed him away and rolled his eyes. “Why would Yakuzas hire us anyway? Besides, there comes the man who booked us.”

“Iieeek!” With one big jump, Shinpachi landed next to his mentor and hid behind his back.

The well-dressed man with a snake tattoo curling around his neck, a pair of dark sunglasses and a shaved head full of scars came towards them and chewed on a piece of gum. His voice was low and dangerous.

“So… nice show.”

“Thanks!” Kagura grinned and kicked in the air demonstratively. “When you hire us, you get the best!”

“Well, whatever.” He tilted his head and clicked his tongue. “As long as the Izanami group had to suffer as much as we did last time when they ordered a marching band, I got what I wanted.”

Shinpachi started shaking uncontrollably, but Gin didn’t even seem to notice. He just grinned and scratched his head. “So, Mister… we did everything you told us to do~”

“Yeah, yeah. Here’s your money.” He threw a bundle of cash stuffed in an envelop at his chest and Kagura caught it, immediately counting the bills. She let out a happy _yahooo_ when she realized it was as much as he had promised them. The man took a drag from his cigarette and puffed it into the air. “So listen up, pals. The buffet is open for about twenty more minutes. You can have some bites, but after that… you’re gonna get your asses the hell out of here, ya hear me?”

“Roger that!” And as fast as lightning, Kagura sprinted off to the cakes and Gintoki was right behind her. “We got you, pal… oi Kagura! Leave something for me!”

“U…uhurm…” A nervous coughing and the clown in the puffy suit set himself in motion, too. His movements were like those of an unoiled robot as he tried to get the hell away from the grim looking man.

 

When he arrived at the buffet, the two Yorozuya were already ravaging everything. Kagura was drinking a whole bowl of soup and Gin-san was gulping down a big cake like there was no tomorrow. Some of the remaining guest stared at them and started whispering, but no one seemed to make any attempt to stop them. Only Shinpachi came very close and hammered on their backs, ushering them to leave already.

“Gin-san, Kagura-chan! Let’s go! I don’t like this here! We’re gonna get in trouble! Come on!”

“No way! We’ve been waiting for this damn buffet the whole day!” Kagura hissed while stuffing onigiri in her mouth.

“Right!” Gin shushed and pushed him away. “We’re gonna safe money this way, so eat Patsu-san! Oh and take some in your pockets while you’re at it!”

“Gin-san!” he pleaded. “Really, we have to go! These are definitely mafia bosses, I tell you!”

“Ah, come on! Don’t judge books by their covers!” _Zoro_ was shoving éclairs down his pockets when he saw a big bowl of _punch_ resting on the top shelf of the buffet. It was red with berries and fruits and ice cubes in it. There was a little label on it saying “ _Special drink ;)”._ Gin let out a delighted cry at that. “Oh my! Booze!”

“No fair! I wanna drink juice, too!”

“Hahaha, but that’s for adults~” Gin took the bowl in both hands and his eyes began to shimmer.

“Gin-san, let’s go! And don’t drink that, that’s way too much alcohol in there! You wanna get poisoned? You know you can’t hold your liquor, so let’s go!!!” Shinpachi dragged at him, a futile attempt because Gin kicked him away and started shouting.

“Silence! If I drink it now, I’m gonna be drunk for the next two days! You know how much money that saves me?”

“ _What kind of logic is that?!_ ”

“Oh shut up!” The samurai rolled his eyes and set the bowl to his lips, chugging down the whole thing.

“Not fair! I wanna try it, too! I’m a woman now after all!” Kagura attacked him and tried stealing the bowl from out of his hands, but Gin just kept drinking and shoving her away before half of the punch was already gone. It was then, that Gin suddenly shivered, turned around and put the punch bowl pack onto the table. He looked sick, all of the sudden, his face pale and his eyes swimming.

“Ugh…”

“See? I told you not to do that!” Panicky because all of the remaining guests were staring their way, Shinpachi pulled at him while Kagura was sneaking to the bowl to finish the rest. Before she could even take a sip, however, their mentor moaned, going down the next second.

As his unconscious body hit the ground, Shinpachi let out a shriek and Kagura let down the bowl, staring at him in shock.  The teenager started jostling him, but his body was as lifeless as a doll.

“Gin-san? Gin-san, don’t joke around! Come on, stand up!”

The man just twitched and looked as if he was about to puke, groaning softly. Kagura jumped to his side and started shaking him violently, making his skull bounce back and forth like these little dolls with the spinning heads. Her voice was a sharp cry sounding through the ballroom.

“Gin-chaaaaaan!”

 

~ ~ ~

 

It was quite a normal day. He was on patrol with Yamazaki and they were scouting the district for some evidence or suspicious looking people. It was afternoon and still hot even though it was the beginning of autumn. The Shinsengumi officers were patrolling through the Kabuki-chō district, which was awfully quiet today. For some reason, they hadn’t spotted any Yakuza business going on and even the locals told them they hadn’t seen any of them today. That was more than fishy. He wondered what was going on. Where were they for Pete’s sake?

“Vice Chief.” Yamazaki looked at him with the flicker of a smile. “Everything seems peaceful, doesn’t it? Maybe they’re all just on vacation?”

His chief grumbled and sent him a sharp glare. “Yakuza never go on vacation and neither do you. Something’s definitely going on and we’re gonna find out what.”

“Ehe… ehehehe.” He scratched his neck. “But you see… we’ve been searching all day and haven’t found anything yet. Can’t we just call it a day and get some dinner? I’m really hungry.”

“If you’re so hungry, I know a way to end your pain.” Eyes shining like those of a demon, he turned to him and attempted to draw his sword.

“ _Hyaaa_!” Folding his hands over his head and bowing over and over again, Yamazaki backed down. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! Of course, we’re gonna keep searching! Please don’t kill me, Vice Chief!”

“Tsk.” Keeping his sword where it belonged, the dark-haired man set himself in motion again, mumbling to his self. “Incompetent… why always me… commit _seppuku_ …”

All of the sudden, his phone began to ring and he sighed. In a trained reflex, he picked it up and kept his eyes on his surroundings at the same time.

“Moshi mosh. Hijikata Toushirou speaking?”

_“Um… Hijikata-san?”_

“Yeah?” For a second, he paused because he couldn’t recognize the voice.

_“Oh… it’s me… Shimura Shinpachi.”_

Oh right, he had given him his number last week. Didn’t think he would call this soon, however. Hopefully, they weren’t in jail and asking him to bail them out. “Hey, what’s up?”

 _“Um… well, it’s like this…”_ He sounded awfully quiet and troubled and that raised the policeman’s suspicion even more. _“…Gin-san’s… Gin-san is…”_

Oh God, what did he do now? Hijikata prepared himself for the worst and closed his eyes already, covering them with his other hand. “…What did he break this time?”

_“No… he’s… he’s in the hospital right now.”_

 

“What?” All of the sudden, his hand slid down and he stared into nothingness.

_“Yes, we brought him here after he broke down. …I thought you might want to know.”_

A hard gulp clotted up his throat and he seriously didn’t know how to react. A sour sensation was raging through his stomach and he felt his hand shaking for a second. His voice quaked as well, though almost unnoticeable. “Okay… where are you exactly?”

 _“The Great Edo Hospital.”_ Shinpachi said with the low voice again and seemed awfully troubled. _“Listen, Hijikata-san, we… um… something bad happened and…”_

“Don’t worry. I’m on my way.” The cop replied with a hushed voice and lowered the phone.

 _“…Gin-san, he’s… well…”_ But he couldn’t finish because Hijikata had already hung up on him.

Without turning back, his face hid behind his bangs, the officer snarled at the Shinsengumi spy. “…Yamazaki… I’m entrusting this patrol to you, so you better finish your job, ya hear me? I have to go now.”

“Eh, but Vice Chief?” The plain looking guy tilted his head, surprised. “Who was that? What’s going on?”

He didn’t answer, but instead starting running the next second, leaving a befuddled policeman behind him. Yamazaki pouted and hated that he never was included in anything. Damn it at all. But he could still sense that something wasn’t right. He just knew something bad had happened. Otherwise his second in command would have never stormed off like that. He wondered what it was. Hopefully nothing too serious.

 

~ ~ ~

 

He was in a sweat and out of breath when he finally arrived at the right floor. Huffing and trying to calm down, he wandered down the hall in big strides. His head was spinning, overflowing with all the thoughts inside his head. He was still in a bit of a shock and could feel the fear trembling under his skin. Of course, he was trying to contain all of it. He wouldn’t allow himself to lose his cool. Whatever had happened, he needed to be levelheaded. And the two needed his support. So while hurrying down the corridor, he took deep breaths and closed his eyes, telling himself over and over again that he needed to calm down.

Finally, he arrived at the room the receptionist had pointed him to. Halting there for a long second, breathing in and out, he eventually knocked. Voices slipped out from the inside and he heard steps. A moment later, the door opened and he could see Shinpachi’s features. He seemed pretty down, but still relatively composed.

“Oh, Hijikata-san. You made it.”

A small nod and he came in, looking around. It was a two-person room with one empty bed. The other one seemed to be taken because the curtains around it were drawn shut. They heard someone mumbling inside the curtain, but it was definitely not Gintoki’s voice. Kagura sat on a chair next to the curtain and gave Hijikata a concerned look.

“…The doctor ’s inside and is examining him again.” Shinpachi explained and looked down, avoiding any eye contact.

The Shinsengumi officer could feel his stomach turn and bit his lip, but ultimately kept calm. As composed as can be, he nodded and eyed the two teenagers instead. His voice was low and stable, giving away nothing of his inner turmoil. “…What’s his condition?”

“He’s not injured or in critical condition. But, well… he’s…” Shinpachi took a deep breath. “…He’s poisoned, kind of.”

“Poisoned?” Hijikata turned around and stared at them. “How did that happen?”

“Well…” The glasses boy was clearly uncomfortable with all of this, but he kept on either way. “…I told you about the wedding, didn’t I? Where we were supposed to perform? Well… turned out they… they um….”

“They what?” He demanded, dead serious.

The boy almost jumped and scratched his head, not being able to look the cop in the eye. “…It was a Yakuza wedding and… Gin drank a big bowl of punch and…”

“A… _Yakuza wedding_?” Hijikata almost chocked on that piece of information. Estranged, he stared at him and his eyes were almost starting to drop out.

“Ahhh, I’m sorry Hijikata-san!” Shinpachi raised his arms as in an attempt to protect himself. “We didn’t know! We would’ve told you, I swear!”

Shaking his head in utter disbelief, the cop snapped at him. “And he was poisoned by them?”

“Well, it may not have been on purpose.” Kagura shrugged, somewhere caught between being pissed and being huffy. “He’s just a drunkard, that’s all.”

“Wha-… what?”

Shin scratched his cheek and took a few steps back, as if in an effort to take cover. “…Turned out… they were mafia bosses selling drugs mostly… and… they might have had a punch… being spiced up with some drugs…”

Hijikata’s jaw dropped and he instinctively shook his head, not being able to take in any of this. “So that means… he has been…”

“Oh, will you _shut up_ over there!” An annoyed, high-pitched voice sounded and all of the sudden, the curtains were torn to the side, revealing a young man with silver locks and a Gameboy in his hand. He was hissing at them, shushing them away. “I can’t even play the new pokémon in peace, can I?!”

 

The expression plastering Hijikata’s face was one of complete denial. He was pale, his eyes darkened and the cigarette fell out of his mouth as he stared into the red eyes of his boyfriend. The doctor at his side just let out a heavy sigh and walked up to Shinpachi and Kagura. He was the middle-aged man with the goatee, the thick glasses and the scar across his left eye.

“Well, as I suspected, he’s stoned up to his ass. Seems like the drug has already entered his system, so there’s really nothing I can do right now.”

“Oh well, thanks anyway…” Shinpachi tried with a smile. “Did you find out what kind of drug?”

“Oh, oh yes.” The doctor crossed his arms and nodded to himself. “It’s one of these new drugs on the market. You ever heard of the one, which causes people to rejuvenate?”

“…Yes?”

“Well, that’s the one. And he had a lot of this drug, so basically, he’s around ten years younger now.”

“… _What?!_ ” Hijikata suddenly blurted out and couldn’t believe a single word they said.

The doctor stared at him and clicked his tongue. “You don’t believe me? Well well, _officer_. If _you_ were doing your job, I wouldn’t have to deal with these cases over and over again!”

“Wha- but I-!” The policeman started, though the doctor cut him off, waving him aside and turning to Shin and Kagura instead.

“Anyways. He basically is in the mental state of a teenager now because he _lost_ ten years. In the process, he also lost his memories, especially the ones of the recent decade. For the memories before that, I have no idea.”

“He lost his memories? Again?” Kagura rolled her eyes and seemed pretty pissed. “Didn’t we go through that in the _Memory loss arc*_?”

“So what? That was more than 300 episodes ago.” The doctor shrugged. “As for how to recover them, you’ll only have to do everything you did last time.”

“Urgh! What a paaaain!” Kagura complained and stomped on the ground.

Shinpachi tried ignoring that and laughed uncomfortably. “Well, how long will the drug be working?”

“I dunno. Maybe a week. But the effect should wear off at some point. Anyways, he’s fine and doesn’t need any medical supervision. So as soon as you’re ready, you may go.”

“Sweet~” Gin chimed on the bed but didn’t move an inch. He seemed to have a good run in the game.

“Okay, doctor. Thanks for everything.”

“You’re welcome.” When he walked out, he snarled at the befuddled policeman with a grumpy glare, mumbling to himself. “…Incompetent police…”

 

Hijikata just couldn’t shut his jaw, couldn’t blink and couldn’t deal with any of this.

Just what?

Just what the fuck?

“Come on, Gin-chan! Let’s go hooome!” Kagura wined and tugged at his hospital yukata.

“Yeah, yeah, in a minute China girl. I’m gonna catch me some _Lapras_ first~!”

“My name is Kagura, for God’s sake!”

“Yeah, yeah whatever. We live together. Maaan, I don’t wanna take care of a little girl!”

“Well, you _have to_!” She grumbled and wrinkled her nose. “Besides, I’m a woman now!”

“Yeah right, flat-chest.”

“WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!” A brutal hit on the back of his head and Gin crushed onto the bed, stars flying around his head.

Shinpachi had to hold her back, wrapping his arms around hers to prevent her from wrecking him completely. “Kagura-chan! He just woke up! Don’t trash him like this!”

“Grah!” She pushed him away and calmed down, crossing her arms. “Pain in the ass! What are we supposed to do now?”

Hijikata just shook his head and still couldn’t process any of this. Performing at a wedding of drug lords, Gintoki being intoxicated, being 10 years younger? There was no way this could be true! When he looked closely, however, he realized a few things he had overlooked before. For some reason, his hair was just a bit longer, falling over his ears. His skin also seemed smoother, firmer, less hard. And… was it just his imagination or did he seem smaller? Less muscular? The cop gulped and felt a tremble crashing down on him. ….He couldn’t… have gotten ten years younger physically, too… could he?

“I don’t know.” Shinpachi replied troubled and then tapped Gin’s shoulder. “Um… Gin-san?”

“Whassup, dork?” The silver-haired teenager chuckled at his own joke and even his voice was different, higher and squeakier.

“Um… my name is Shinpachi…”

“Well, but I’m gonna call you _dork_ , dork!” Celebrating his own attitude, this young man was definitely someone else.

Hijikata gasped and couldn’t usher a single word. Was this Gintoki at all? Is that what he was like when he was a teenager? Or was this a completely different personality elicited by the drugs? A shiver ran down his spine.

“Um…” A small throbbing vain spurted on Shin’s forehead, but he remained cool. “Listen… we’re your friends. We work together as the Yorozuya. So we’re going to help you get out of this situation, you hear me? You can count on us.”

“Why? I feel fine. Couldn’t be better actually!” The teenager looked at them now and had a cheeky, arrogant grin on his face. “But if you really wanna help me, how about we go partying? I wanna have some fun!”

“Well…” It was plain obvious that the Shimura boy was overwhelmed by this. He started stuttering a little. “…but you’re drugged, so…”

“Ah, pish posh! I don’t feel drugged at all!” He smiled and rolled his finger, wanting Shin to come closer. “You look like you could have some fun, too, dork! How about you and I go for a night on the town? I’ll show you what it means to have fun!”

“But, um I…”

Gin dragged him down and began to whisper something into his ear. “Come on… you’re still a virgin, right? Let’s see some *****!”

“Wahhh!” The sixteen-year-old boy covered his flushed face in shame and shook his head violently. “Don’t say that! I can’t do that! I’m way too young for that! Ahhh!”

“Tsk, what a virgin.” The silver head chuckled, way too amused by that. “High time then to have some se-“

“You’re only seventeen, too! You’re way too young for that stuff, too!” Shin protested, his head still crimson red.

“Oh, don’t worry~! I have the feeling I’m pretty good at that stuff. Besides, I know how to get into these kind of clubs~”

 _Those were the memories he didn’t lose?!_ Hijikata messaged his forehead and groaned softly. Wow, he would never have thought that this could be possible. But it seemed this guy had an even bigger sex drive now than he had before. Oh God, how the hell did he get himself in this kind of mess again? And why wasn’t he in the least surprised that Gintoki of all people would be drugged in such a set up? But honestly… why did it have to be the very same drug he had been investigating this whole time?

“Besides, if we can’t get in there because we’re too young, let’s just take this guy over there. He looks like he’s old enough.”

Um… what? Befuddled, Hijikata opened his eyes and realized Gin was indeed looking at him. It took another second until he understood what he meant. And his jaw dropped again.

“We… we can’t.” Shinpachi stressed and looked in his direction as well, seeking help. “That’s not what we should do right now.”

“Why?” A dissatisfied grunt escaped his throat.

“Well, for starters… you have… Hijikata-san is your…”

 

The door crashed open in an unbearably loud noise, followed by a second one coming from a young woman jumping at the bed. Her violet hair was flowing through the air, as she elegantly landed on Gin’s lap and threw her arms around his chest. Her voice was an ear-scattering squeaking.

“Ahhh, Gin-san! I heard you’re hurt! Ahhh! Don’t worry, I’m here! I won’t leave you alone with your pain! I’m gonna make it all better for you, I promise~!”

“Sa-Sa-chan-san!”

But she completely ignored the rest, raised her head and stared into the silver-head's eyes, snuggling up to him as closely as possible. “What do you want? I’ll do anything for you! Consider me your slave. Ahh~ punish me, Gin-san~”

“Woah!” The teenager’s grin was almost blowing up his face. “Slave? Sweet~! But who’s this hottie?”

“Ho-ho-h- _hottie_?!” A fountain of blood gushed out of her nose and her voice was breaking the sound barrier. “Ahhhh~, Gin-san! Come on, don’t make me blush~. I’m your devoted Sa-chan, don’t you remember?”

“Oh… yeah! Of course, I remember!” He grinned and scrutinized her closely. “…A bit old, but… wow! Your rack is enormous!”

“Kyaaaahhh~! Gin-san! What’s up with you today?!” The shinobi squealed and clearly enjoyed it, rubbing her head against his cheek. “You wanna touch them? You wanna touch them? I’ll let you do anything with my body~.”

Dumbfounded, the three others stared at her, faces pale and void of blood.

“Woah, really? Anything? You let me do anything to your body?!” Gin appeared delighted and a small stream of blood was running out of his nose. He raised his hands and made them into claws, groping the air as in a practice run. “You serious?!”

“Hyaaaah~!” Sarutobi was clearly out of her mind now, boiling over with excitement. She pursed her lips and closed her eyes, letting her hand slide down his belly. “Of course, my sweetheart! Please kiss me! I wanna kiss you so badly! Please~! I can’t take it anymore, I waited so- oh, what’s so hard down here?”

 

“ _That’s it!”_ In one strong, swift movement, the policeman shoved the two away from each other. It was impossible to see his eyes behind the hair falling in his face, but every sane man would realize the frightening aura steaming off his body.

Teenage Gin, however, didn’t seem to sense any danger at all. He just groaned at him and gave him a stink eye. “ _Oh man_! Come on! What’s _your_ problem?!”

“Yeah, V-bangs, what’s your problem?!” Sarutobi screamed at him, pissed off. “And don’t touch me! Only Gin-san’s allowed to touch my ****!”

“I wasn’t even near that!” Hijikata snapped at her and the two remaining Yorozuya could clearly see he wasn’t in the mood for any more jokes.

“You’re just jealous!” The lady with the violet hair harrumphed and glared at him, arms crossed. “But you know what? Seems like he finally came to his senses! I told you he doesn’t like ****! So get lost! He chose me! Not you!”

Gin looked mighty confused at that and his face contorted, but he didn’t have the time to say anything.

“He did not! Can’t you see he’s not in his right mind? Are you so desperate, huh?” The cop ground his teeth, trembling under all these emotions he didn’t know where to put any more. He couldn’t contain them anymore. Not when something like _this_ was about to happen.

“Not in his right mind? Pah, he finally woke up! I never accepted you two together! If anyone is suited to be his lover, it ought to be me!”

“Grrr, you….”

“Stop, stop!” Gin tore them apart with a swift waving of his hands. He was certainly irritated. “What’s going on here? What are you two talking about?” With his forehead crunched, he stared at the black-haired man. “The fuck are you anyway?”

A short silence followed after that and every eye was glued to him, he knew. Hijikata couldn’t refrain from blushing just a little bit. He raised his fist to his mouth and cleared his throat, closing his eyes. “…I’m… your boyfriend.”

 

“HUH?!” Annoyed, the teenager furrowed his brows and flashed his teeth. “No way in hell.”

That was the first dagger being rammed right into his heart.

But Gin wasn’t done. He began examining him from head to toe and his disgusted expression didn’t cease one bit. “You’re OLD!”

The second one, right into his pride.

“And you don’t even have _boobs_!” He gagged and retreated. “Why would I ever get together with someone like you?”

And that was the last one, shoving his ego down to the ground to cry in a puddle of his own tears. On the surface, one could only see Hijikata’s unmoving, shocked, pale face and the gloom shrouding his head like a rain cloud.

“Well, I dunno who you are, but you’re sure as hell not my boyfriend.” Gin eventually concluded and turned to a gleefully grinning Sarutobi. When he stared at her breasts, he began chuckling as well. “ _That’s_ more up my alley!”

“Kyaaaahhh, Gin-san~! You’re so _baaad_!” The woman with the glasses chuckled and cuddled up to his chest, purring in ecstasy. “Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of you~. I’ll take you home and we can go on a date and to a movie and who knows? Maybe you can’t get your hands off of me. Kyaaaahhh!”

“Oh, honey, I don’t think I can~. Hrhrhrhr.”

“Ahh Gin-saaaaan!” She jumped up again und pursed her lips to kiss him. “I can’t wait any longer! Take me now! Take me!!!”

 

It was about that time, that Hijikata Toushirou chose to stop playing nice. He was damn pissed and he would certainly not let any of that happen. Snarling, he raised his voice and barked at the female ninja. The brooding conflict was about to boil over.

“Stop it! Can’t you see he’s drugged?! He’s a teenager right now, for God’s sake! He swallowed a shitload of the rejuvenation drug! He lost is memories, damn it! You really wanna take advantage of that?!” 

Staring at him from behind her red glasses, Sarutobi scoffed and pouted. “Look at you, you sore loser. But you know, your lies won’t help you one bit.”

“I. am. _not. lying_!” The policeman grunted, breathing heavily now.

“Hijikata-san is right, Sa-chan-san.” Shinpachi tried a smile, only carefully approaching. “Gin-san’s drugged right now. He isn’t his usual self.”

For a moment, the kunoichi paused and her gaze wandered through the room. She was still cuddling up to her lover, who was rolling his eyes, but she couldn’t see that. When she looked up to his face, however, he grinned cockily and stroked through her hair. “Don’t listen to them, honey. They don’t know me like you do. You know, you’re the only woman for me. You’re the only one I want to be with.”

The ninja with the lilac hair froze. For a few seconds, she couldn’t move, appeared like time had stopped around her. Then, a small stream of blood was dropping out of her nose. And before anyone could even react, a whole waterfall was gushing out and she was screaming her lungs out in ecstasy, reaching ultrasound quality.

“OH MY GOD, YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE FOR ME, TOO, GIN-SAN! I LOVE YOUU! KYAAAAAH!”

Just an instance later, a small _click_ sound was heard and she was being pulled off the bed. The icy claw of handcuffs tied her hand and the cop was pulling her to get the second one on. “That’s it, you’re under arrest!”

“What?!” Indignantly, she tried wrestling herself from him, kicking him. “How dare you? Only Gin-san may put those on me! You freak, I’m not your slut! BDSM is for the people you love! Let me go!”

“Shut it!” With all his force, he was dragging her into the right position, but she struggled and always slipped out right under him. “He’s 17 now, so he’s underage! Meaning _you_ are sexually harassing a minor and that’s a public offense! You’re under arrest!”

“What?! Are you crazy?! Don’t touch me! If you want to arrest me for molesting a minor, start with yourself! You can lock yourself in first! ‘Cause you’re his _boyfriend_ , sicko!”

The color from his face vanished again and he looked all pale. Oh shit! She had a point!

Helpless at that, he stopped moving for a moment. He didn’t know what to do anymore. Clenching his fists and his teeth, he desperately searched for a way out of this situation. Seriously, come on! This couldn’t happen, right? Just because he lost his memories and got a few years younger, he suddenly had no right to be his boyfriend anymore? Did that excuse him from cheating on him? Did he really have to accept that without any protest? His posture grew weaker and he held his breath. Shit. How the hell should he fix this?

He almost didn’t realize that Sarutobi was roaming free again, cupping Gin’s face and attempting to press her lips on his, for real this time. She was just a few inches away, shaking her butt in excitement, when all of the sudden, a war cry sounded. The next second, a roundhouse kick threw both Sa-chan and Gin into the wall, making it crumble under the impact and their heads spin from a light concussion.

Kagura still had her leg in the air, yelling at them with a fed up expression. “You know what? That’s it! I’ve been watching this horror show for far too long! You both need a time-out!”

Befuddled, both Hijikata and Shinpachi stared at her, but she ignored them. Instead, she pointed at Sarutobi who was just about to regain consciousness. “I’ll have none of this shit! I won’t give Gin-san to you, Sa-chan! I will never accept a stalker like you as his lover! Mayora is my new father now and I don’t wanna get used to a new lover just yet! Take your dirty paws off of him or else!“

The cop almost shed a tear at that. He was so moved, he couldn’t even react. He wouldn’t have expected so much support from her. And when Shinpachi stepped up next to Kagura and in front of him, he had to hold his breath. The teenage boy looked at the kunoichi with a sad smile.

“Sa-chan-san… please, understand the situation. We’re all very worried about Gin-san. He’s in the mental state of a teenager now and he lost all of his memories. The situation is bad as it is… so please don’t make it even more complicated.”

The shinobi held her whirling head and glared at them, clearly dizzy now. Her voice was low. “…Hmph…”

His smile was as understanding and forgiving as only he could manage. “We all know you really like Gin-san. But do you really want to take advantage of him in this kind of condition? You know he wouldn’t usually act like this, right? These are not his real feelings, it’s the drug. You really want that? To be with him while he’s drugged?”

That certainly messed with her and she avoided their gazes, biting her lip and holding her arm in frustration.

“Sa-chan-san…”

“I know!” Hiding her face behind her ponytail, she jumped up and walked past them, stopping halfway between Shinpachi and Hijikata. Her hands were trembling a bit and her voice was damped. They could see she was clearly hurt. “That’s not what I want. …I’m not that desperate.”

A short silence engulfed them before she continued.

“…I know he doesn’t like me that way! And I know he’s with someone else now… but… it was nice… believing for a second that it might be otherwise. That I still might have a chance…” She gulped and shook her head, pausing for just an instant before she raised her chin and stared right into Hijikata’s eyes. He could see her face tearing up a little. “…I mean, I accepted my defeat. I know he made his choice. But you know… it would have been nice to hear it from you guys! Not picking it up by some rumors, like we’re not even friends! You could have at least told me face-to-face. That would have been nice!”

Hijikata started at her, utterly speechless. He was completely out of place and didn’t know how to answer, didn’t know how to react. He never would have guessed that’s the way she felt about that. To be honest, he didn’t even know her well, but she had a point. They both had been in love with Gintoki for a long time. He felt guilty now. His mouth opened, but he still couldn’t think of a single thing to reply.

“Sa-chan-san…” Shinpachi’s voice sounded again, but she cut him off, started to walk again.

“Don’t bother. I won’t interfere with you anymore.”

When she stormed out, all three of them turned around to her and watched her leave. An uncomfortable silence filled the room again and made them unable to speak for a while. Especially Hijikata felt heavy under the weight of the mood. Really, he hadn’t known. He wouldn’t even have guessed. He felt like a jerk now. His head was full of thoughts and memories, connected dots, which hadn’t been tied before. His eyelids lowered a bit and his gaze hit the ground. What was he supposed to do now?

“Um… not to worsen the mood any further, but…” Kagura’s voice sounded and she looked around the room, drawing their gazes towards her. She scratched her head with a deadpan expression and shrugged. “…looks like Gin-chan made a bolt for it.”

As they saw what she meant, it was safe to say they were freaking out.

“Where the hell is he?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annotations:
> 
> *Memory loss arc = episode 31-32, Manga 50


	12. Teenage boys want one thing only

## Teenage boys want one thing only

“You take this area and I’ll go further ahead. He can’t be that far.” Hijikata tried his best to appear calm and rational, but it was impossible to cover up his edginess. It had already spread to Shinpachi, who returned his concerned look.

“Roger that, Hijikata-san. We’ll find him.”

The policeman was thankful for this reassurance and nodded before darting off. He was thankful that the teenager and the alien girl were helping him. But somehow, he couldn’t shake the feeling that this was all his fault. If only he had already imprisoned these yakuza. If only he had already stopped the circulation of this drug. If only he had kept an eye on Gintoki, none of this would ever have happened. But at the same time, he knew these thoughts were pointless. He needed to find him as quickly as possible. He had a very bad feeling about all of this. Nothing good could come out of this situation.

The policeman had been searching the whole area for a while now.  It was a Friday and as the dawn was breaking, hundreds of people were streaming into Kabuki-chō to enjoy its vibrant nightlife. The streets were bustling. Hostesses were playfully inviting him into their clubs, grandmas were flocking around the pachinko machines, teenagers were messing around the electronic stores, and drunk people were cheering him on as he paced through the streets to find Gintoki. Every time he showed his badge and asked people if they had seen a silver-haired teenager, he got the same confused look and answer. And with every dying ray of sunlight, he felt the burning feeling in his chest growing.

He started looking inside Pachinko salons. There were _a lot_ of them. Every one of them crowded with people of all ages, smoking, gambling, almost turning deaf in the ear-shattering sound of the machines. It had been a good guess that the teenager might be here. If any part of Gintoki was still alive inside of him, that is. But he didn’t have any luck. Maybe he didn’t have enough money?

As the thought crossed his mind, Hijikata stopped in the middle of the street for a second. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down. Cold sweat was making his collar itch and his pulse was giving him a headache. It was almost dark now and the air was filled with alcohol, smoke, and laughter. His throbbing head cooled down with every lungful of the chilling night air. _Think_ , he needed to _think_.

If not Pachinko, what else? Where would he go? A bar? Drinking? Girls? Sex? His blue eyes roamed the street as he saw a wide arrange of nightclubs, bars, maid cafes and ‘gentlemen clubs’. He had seemed pretty horny, right? So maybe he was going into a strip club? The dark-haired man turned red and closed his eyes in denial. God, he would totally go there. Luckily, he didn’t have any money to actually buy a courtesan here and Yoshiwara was too far away. So Hijikata was probably still in time to stop him from doing something illegal. Hopefully…

Begrudgingly, the policeman decided to follow this trail. There was a lot to pick from here, so he started to go into the first strip club he found. Of course, he was greeted with open arms, a smile and a first-class offer for a lap-dance. Hijikata was _really_ happy the lighting in the club was bright neon green, so no one could see his reddened face as he evaded the swinging butts and looked for an underage Gintoki. He didn’t have any luck though and wasn’t sure if that was a good or a bad sign now.

Before leaving, he told the manager to call the police if he saw a teenager with silver hair. As he did with the next one. And the one after that. And after the sixth night establishment, he had forced himself into, he had almost lost all hope of ever finding him. Possibly, this teenage version of his boyfriend already lay somewhere, making out with a hot girl. The thought unnerved him tremendously. But he kept on searching because he knew he had to. He couldn’t leave this task to Shinpachi and Kagura and he didn’t want them to go into these kinds of clubs. So he took a deep breath and stepped foot into the next club, a cute girl behind him wishing him a lovely time in “The Love Cove”.

 

The air inside was thick and heavy with the sweet smell of alcohol and the sticky sound of laughter and clinging classes. The light was dimmed, and a soft jazz music was playing. Dozens of little booths and tables were arranged inside the room and every one of them had a couple of women and men enjoying each other’s company. It wasn’t much different from the one Otae worked at and for a moment, Hijikata was afraid to find his boss here. His eyes scanned the room carefully and he could feel the sexual tension lingering in the air. Most of these hostesses were occupied with talking to their customers about their stressful week, lifting their spirits with sweet smiles and cups of sake. But some of them were snuggling up to them, whispering in their ears and promising things they might be able to do after hours for a little bit of extra money.

Hijikata really felt out of place here, but he swallowed his pride and uneasiness and started walking down the aisles. The song was just switching to a smoother, even sexier melody, when the policeman made out silver looks somewhere at a table. His heart sank for a second and his pace accelerated. He didn’t want to believe it. But as he drew closer to the table, he could see a face he had grown quite accustomed to in these last months.

A beautiful young woman was chuckling at one of his remarks, leaning over to him to tease him with an encouraging look. She was probably in her twenties, had long brunette hair and a crimson kimono with a nice plunging neckline. She was a beauty no doubt and was playing right into her customer’s crazy testosterone trip. A silver-haired young man was at her side, not even trying to hide his lusting gaze buried in her cleavage. He was almost drooling and licking his lips constantly. His excited voice was a bit more high-pitched than usual and his hair was clouding his gaze as he leaned into her to smell her neck.

“You mean... you would like to show me how I can defeat the end boss?”

Her chuckle was adorable, but also professionally seductive as she stroked over his check. “Sure, sweetheart. I can help you complete the game aaaaanyway you like. But you know… I need to make sure you know how to play. Do you?”

“Kehehe, baby. I’m a real pro at this, trust me. You will want to play again just to see if it will be just as good.” He was in head over heels for her, grabbing her knee now.

And the hostess giggled again, rubbing her nose against his cheek. “You’re cute. I’ll come and play with you if you can pay the right price.”

Horny, turning in to meet her nose with his, Gin was already closing his eyes and sliding his hand up her tight. A whisper escaped his mouth, but it was impossible to hear.

“THAT’S ENOUGH!”

Half of the club was turning their heads now, gawking towards the booth where a policeman stood and fumed. The hostess was visually taken aback, jumping away from Gin to cover up her indecent offer. The teenager turned his head towards him and groaned as he recognized his face.

“Oh God… not this guy again.”

Hijikata, in turn, was seething, not being able to contain the poisonous mix of anger, hurt, relief and jealousy. His eyes were fixing on Gintoki and were _not_ playing around.

“What are you doing here? This is _not_ a place you should be in!”

“Kch!” The teenager was pissed already, defiantly throwing back his head and leaning back as to provoke him. “Why are _you_ here, grandpa? I’m just having fun.”

A throbbing vein appeared on his forehead. He didn’t have time for this, for any of this. “You are _underage_. You are not allowed in here, set aside drinking.”

“He is… underage?” The beautiful girl exhaled, stared at Gin and back at Hijikata, understanding the full depth of the situation now. “So-sorry, I didn’t know that. I mean- I didn’t intend on doing anything anyway, officer. I’ve always been a lawful citizen, I-“

But she couldn’t finish because her customer was already bellowing. “So what! Just because I’m not an old geezer with wrinkled balls, I’m not allowed to have fun? What kind of screwed up logic is that? That’s age discrimination! And besides, you’re stalking me! What do you even want from me, huh?”

“I’m not stalking you, I’m making sure you’re not doing something illegal!”

“I’m not doing anything illegal!”

“But you’re about to!”

“I’m sorry, gentlemen, is there a problem?” A man in a nice suit approached them with a worried smile. He had his hands raised in a calming manner.

“Yes, there is! This man is stalking me!” Gin exclaimed dramatically and didn’t mind making a scene. He was pissed at the black-haired man and so horny his pants hurt.

Hijikata growled softly and half-heartedly pulled out his badge, giving the manager a quick look. “I’m with the Shinsengumi and this man is under my protection. I’m currently monitoring him, and he managed to get away. He’s a minor.”

“Fuck you!” Gin was furious now for being thrown under the bus like that. “Just some hours ago you claimed to be my boyfriend and now you’re playing this card? This man is a freaking pedophile! He’s harassing me!”

As Hijikata felt cutting glares scraping away his skin, he turned red and hissed. “That’s- that’s not true! We’re not in that kind of relationship! I’m- I’m not doing anything like that!”

“Oh yeah? Leave me alone then! Get fucking lost, you homo!”

Even more, eyes were on them now and Hijikata Toushiro could feel the situation slipping out of his hands. He felt helpless again and didn’t know what to do. So, he panicked and did what he could do best. Pull out all the stops and play the demonic vice chief. Reaching into his back pocket, he stared at the defiant teenager.

And the next second a metallic ‘cling’ of two handcuffs tied Gin’s hands together. The cop was giving him a hard glare and pulled him out of the booth. “That’s it. I’m bringing you to the police station. Your evening ends here. “

 

Of course, teenage Gin was protesting and screaming at him, trying to break free, but the policeman didn’t loosen his tight grip on his arm and dragged him outside. He ignored all of the judging eyes, all of the worried and anxious expressions directed towards him. He just pushed on and wanted to get this over with. With Gin being in this state, he could only lose. So, he swallowed that pill and played the bad guy. He didn’t have much of a choice.

The teenager kept protesting when they got outside and fought against the cop with all his might, except for that he didn’t stand a chance. Hijikata could easily overpower him. It seemed as if Gin had lost some muscle as well as a side effect of the drug. Or he just lost his tenacity. In any case, Hijikata was feeling nauseous. This person wasn’t Gintoki at all. Arresting him had always felt different. Had always felt strangely consensual. Now he was just a weak, defenseless teenager who was completely at his mercy. It made him feel like a total dirtbag. He could sense his stomach churning, his heart throbbing and his palms getting cold.

Dragging the teenager through the streets was a real low point. As much as he possibly could, he ignored Gin’s verbal abuse and wild accusations. The grip on his arm was painfully tight and he hissed at him to calm down. Of course, that didn’t help and when the silver head was condemning him for wanting to sell him into slavery, Hijikata finally snapped. He turned around, grabbed his collar and shot him an intimidating look worthy of a demonic Vice Chief. His voice was threatening low rumble. 

“Listen up, I’m not gonna say it again. Be quiet and calm down. You are drugged and underage right now. And that means you’re under my direct protection. I know you don’t care, but you can’t do whatever you like. I’m getting you to the police station now and then we will see what happens next. The more you resist, the more difficult things will get for you.”

That shut him up. The young silver head stared back at him and Hijikata really saw a different man standing before him. His face was fed-up, but there was a juvenile defiance glimmering in his eyes. He looked threatened to some extent, but not afraid of his senior in the least. A gruff grunt escaped his tightly pressed lips and he capitulated. Hijikata could see him boiling under the surface. The cop couldn’t afford to care. He loosened his grip a bit and continued to lead him towards the headquarter. He tried not to think, tried not to feel anything. He blocked out all of his emotions because he was afraid they would overwhelm him if he gave in to them.

So, they walked in frozen silence through the bustling streets of the Kabuki-chō. Hijikata didn’t look back, he couldn’t stand to see his face right now. Gin ceased his fighting and was obediently following him, it seemed. The air was growing colder and the colorful neon signs and lanterns in the street were shielding them from the suffocating darkness. Around them, people were enjoying their Friday evening.

They were near _Golden Gai_ when Hijikata first realized a tug on his sleeve. He had turned completely numb and deaf towards his surroundings in a desperate attempt to levigate his feelings. The teenager behind him was cutting through that with a single shout.

“I told you to stop for a second, dammit!”

 

Startled, the policeman stopped in his tracks and turned towards him. Gin greeted him with an annoyed grunt and a defensive gaze.

“…I think you and I got off on the wrong foot. …Can we please just talk for a minute? Alone somewhere?”

The dark-haired man was baffled by this request. Was he scheming something? His blue eyes scanned the teenager from bottom to top, but he couldn’t detect any mischief or bad intentions. Instead, he saw him rubbing his wrists where the handcuffs painfully scratched against his skin. Hijikata was gulping down a hot lump sitting in his throat and felt guilty. Averting his gaze, he nodded towards a back alley. It was the safest place, he figured. At least Gin couldn’t stage a scene there. He truly didn’t need any more pedophilic accusations against him.

Obediently, the young man followed him into the narrow back alley. As they were halfway through, the policeman stopped and turned towards his protégé, trying to be as calm as possible. Looking at this teenage version of his boyfriend really made his heart skip a painful beat. How could they look so much alike and still be so different? He didn’t know how to deal with that.

Gin was grinding his teeth and raised his hands, showing him the reddishly darkened skin from where the handcuffs cut when Hijikata had been yanking him out of the club. “Could you please un-cuff me? These hurt like hell. Don’t worry. I won’t run away. I’m not that stupid. You showed me quite clearly that you don’t take 'no' for an answer.”

Seeing the extent of his actions, the policeman really hit a low point. He felt sick realizing what he had done to him. To Gintoki. No, to this teenager who happened to look like him. He wasn’t really there anymore, right? The man he fell in love with.

Now there was only a defenseless young man who had been bruised by his violent behavior. Gintoki would have been able to handle this. This guy, however, was a victim. And he felt so guilty, his breathing stopped for a whole moment until he averted his gaze and removed his restraints. His throat was too dry to even say a word.

When the cold iron was finally off, Gin exhaled loudly and stepped back, leaning against the dark wall, rubbing his numb arms. He was eerily calm now, but still with a sharp bite in his voice. “Urgh… you really didn’t have to use that much force. I was, like, really doing nothing illegal. I mean, I know you’re old and stuff, but surely you remember how you were when you were younger. I just wanted to have some fun. …No need to pull out the big guns like that…”

Hijikata wasn’t able to answer. He wasn’t even able to look into his eyes. He hated himself for what he had done to him. But it was too late now, anyway, right? So, he just stood there motionlessly, waiting to find the courage to face this situation head-on.

For a long moment, there was a striking silence between them and he could feel Gin’s gaze laying heavily on his chest. He was scrutinizing him, reading him. He wondered if he could. If there still was any part of Gintoki left in him. Gintoki would have seen through him right away. That thought pierced through him, elicited an invisible hurt smile. Damn it. He missed him already. What the hell was he supposed to do in this situation?

 

“So…” Gin’s composed voice startled him, pulled him back into this weird reality. The teenager seemed to have calmed down and his analyzing stare dug deep. “…Can you tell me again what all of this is about? Like, who are you again? And why’re you glued to my ass?”

The dark-haired man took a full breath and closed his eyes, calming down as well. He still couldn’t look at him, but at least he was able to answer now.

“Well… you’re actually a grown man working as a jack of all trades together with Shinpachi and Kagura, the two teenagers you met in the hospital. Somehow, you got in contact with a nasty drug that made you who you are now. So… this is not actually _your_ body.”

“I know that.” Gin interrupted him sternly. “I was asking about you.”

Still not enough courage to face him directly. Words didn’t come easy to him either. “I’m… your boyfriend. Or I was before the drug kicked in. …I don’t know if you’re his real teenage self or another person altogether, but… you have to understand that your actions are not your own.”

“So basically… you’re just jealous and don’t want me to bone someone else, am I right?” A sober conclusion with a dash of annoyance.

His cheeks reddened, and he clicked his tongue, almost choking on it. “That… is one aspect, maybe… but I’m also worried about him… about you. You are full of drugs and lost your memories… anyone would look after you.”

“Heh.” His teenage self was cocky and bold, making him wonder if Gin had been like this when he had been 17. Still, he was completely different from the man he was now. “Whatever. …Listen up, pal. I am horny. My dick is so hard, it’s basically tearing my parts apart. I need to relieve the pressure. Clearly, you must remember this, right? As a young man my age, you don’t really have that much of a choice. Show me some sympathy, man.”

What was he supposed to answer now? Of course, he could understand him. This young man didn’t have any affiliation with him, he didn’t even know him. Why should he care about Hijikata’s feelings? And still, the policeman just couldn’t bear the thought of him having sex with another person. Not even _as_ a different person. His answer was as half-hearted as it was hesitant.

“Then get to work yourself. Surely, you haven’t forgotten how to pleasure yourself without bothering others.”

“Tsk, unbelievable…” The silver head kicked a few stones in frustration and folded his arms. A long silence reigned in which the cop was able to collect himself and store all of his feelings away. After a few moments, he finally had the courage to look at him, look into his eyes. And then he realized the teenager was staring back at him, locking him up with just the red shimmer of his irises in the dark twilight of the alleyway.

 For a moment, their gazes were tightly locked, pinning them in their positions. Then, the silver head tilted his head and had a peculiarly dominant aura around him. “You’re my boyfriend, right? So that means we two had sex, right?”

Oh no.

He didn’t like where this was going.

Not being able to shake the embarrassment showing on his cheeks, Hijikata gawked at him. “Wha-… That’s… not important.”

The gaze dug even deeper, almost peeling the skin from his bones. “You’re actually not ugly, close by. And I guess there has to be some reason we’re together, right?”

He was completely flabbergasted by this 180° turn. Was he _serious_?

Finally, Gin moved and came towards him, close enough to get a better look at him. His breath was crashing against his face and his eyes were full of lust and defiance at the same time. “You don’t want me to bone girls. You don’t want me to bone _anyone_. You’re responsible for me, right? You said so yourself. Then be a freaking responsible boyfriend and let me fuck you.”

 

Hijikata’s jaw finally dropped. He could feel his head glowing with heat now. His racing heart kicked his whole body into defense mode, but none of his cells reacted yet.

Meanwhile, Gin put his hand flat on the cop’s chest and pressed him backwards into the wall. He wasn’t joking around and came so close the older man could feel his erection. “This is the perfect solution, right? That way you won’t get jealous _and_ can pay me back for what you’ve put me through. I’d say it’s only fair, right? Let’s do it right here.”

The policeman was in pure shock. What the fuck was happening now? How horny was this guy? That wasn’t funny. He couldn’t actually go to bed with him. Even if this indeed was Gintoki’s real teenage self, then he’d still be sleeping with a minor. And with a completely different person. He couldn’t do that. It felt so wrong. This guy in front of him was looking like a child to him. And Hijikata really wasn’t attracted to people much younger than him.

So, gently and firmly, he pressed his hand against Gin’s chest and pushed him back. Proudly, he managed a tiny smile. Though, it looked more helpless and cornered than he realized. “D-don’t joke around. I’m a cop. And you’re 17. This is illegal.”

“So what?” The teenager replied unnerved, still keeping close and taking Hijikata’s hand. “I’d be fucking you anyway, so you can’t be charged with anything. Come on. We’ve done it before, haven’t we? So you’re used to it anyway.”

Just a bit flustered, Hijikata pushed him away more and ignored that. This was neither the time nor the place to tell him they were doing it the other way around for now. He tried to be gentle with him this time. “No. We’re not doing that. I will bring you home now. You need to rest and sleep and get this drug out of your system.”

That wasn’t at all what he had hoped for. Visually annoyed, the teenager finally snapped.

In a flash, he yanked at his collar, dragging him into a kiss. Forcefully, he split open the older man’s lips with his tongue and hungrily explored his mouth. His one hand was buried in Hijikata’s hair, pulling him closer, while the other grabbed his ass and drew their hips together. The teenager was heaving heavily, suffering under the immense dose of testosterone he was being exposed to by the drug. He attacked him like a starving beast, his lust clouding his senses and mind.

Hijikata, in turn, was completely paralyzed by this sudden turn of events. His eyes were torn wide open, staring at the heaving and moaning young man in front of him. What hit him most was his smell, his taste. It was exactly the same. For just a second, he felt the longing for Gintoki’s touch conquering him. Losing himself in this moment, this kiss, this familiar feeling. For just a second, he forgot _who_ he was kissing right now. That this person wasn’t Gintoki. Wasn’t _his_ Gintoki.

The thought made him sick. It poisoned his stomach and made him shiver. No, this was wrong. This was so wrong. He couldn’t do this.

Abruptly, he shoved him away and miscalculated his strength once again. The weakened teenager stumbled backward and crashed into the other wall, grimacing in pain. Both men were panting, but when the cop realized what he had done, he leaned forward, reaching out to him.

“Ah, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-“

“DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME, YOU PSYCHO!”

This time, Gin didn’t look at him. He hid his face behind his long silver locks and looked hurt. Not physically, but emotionally. The drug was clearly taking a toll on his well-being and he suffered under its immense pressure. His voice turned hoarse as he kept on yelling.

“What the fuck, man? Who do you think you are, huh? You are a violent, sadistic asshole! Who do you think you are telling me what to do?! I’m not a fucking child, man! You can’t treat me like that!”

That stung. Hijikata stopped in his tracks and held his breath. He tried to defuse the situation, his voice low and nervous. “Calm down… I didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t intend to-“

“Well, you _did_!” Gin bellowed, beating the air and staring at him with wounded eyes. “You are _no one_ to me! You have _no_ right to tell me what to do! I don’t fucking care if you’ve been my boyfriend or whatever! This is my body now and I will do whatever I want with it! You’re a real psycho! Why would I ever fall in love with someone like you?!”

The hate engulfing Hijikata burned down to his very bones. He was shackled to it, unable to respond to any of this. Only his heart bled with every single new word the man he loved threw at him.

“Fuck you!” Gin jumped forward now, shoving his ex-boyfriend violently against the stone wall. “Get lost and don’t ever follow me again, you creep! I fucking hate you!” The teenager shot him a last, hostile glare before finally running away.

 

Silently, the policeman tumbled backwards until he could feel the cold wall stinging in his back. Still, he was glad for its support. Because right now, his legs were ridiculously weak.

He bit his lip and closed his eyes, felt the headache pounding him relentlessly. Now, if anything, he was craving a cigarette. But he didn’t reach into his pocket because the weight of Gin’s words shackled him to the ground.

_I fucking hate you._

He knew very well that this wasn’t the same person. He knew very well that this man was someone completely different. He knew he had been under the influence of this drug. But still. It hurt. It hurt so much he could barely breathe. And what was even worse was how _he_ _himself_ had acted. On a scale from 1 to 10, he had landed a solid minus 20 in how to be a responsible adult. He had been jealous, had been violent, inconsiderate and pushy.

He should be ashamed, but he was too busy fighting the urge to hit himself.

Gin had obviously been hurting, he had been confused and had been desperate. He must have suffered a lot from this drug, drowning in it, disoriented and lost. He was a teenager now after all. And he had treated him like his property. Ah shit…

His thumb rubbed over his heavy eyes and he exhaled desperately. His crying heart was cutting off the blood supply to his fingers, making them tingle in pain. He was a piece of shit. He needed to apologize. He needed to find him. Even though probably none of them wanted to see the other right now. He couldn’t leave him to his fate.

Gin wouldn’t like this. It would probably just draw more hate towards him. But he was ready to put up with it. He didn’t deserve anything else. The most important thing was to make sure Gin was safe. His feelings were now secondary.

Fuck…

The cop tried taking a step and was concerned about how wobbly he walked. It made him smile, hopelessly. What a joke. He needed to get his shit together. There was no time for regret and self-pity. What was done, was done. And all he could do for now was hope. Hope that this teenager didn’t get into even more trouble. That he wasn’t doing anything stupid because of him.

At least, he thought, it was nice to know that Gin would have been just a normal teenager if he would have been given the chance.


	13. Everyone hates mayonnaise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Watch out for the bonus piece at the end.

## Everyone hates mayonnaise

 

“Haaaaah…” An exasperated sigh cut through the thick, warm air of the bar. The light was dimmed, a soft music playing, and the sting of cold cigarette smell pierced her nose from time to time. Her cheek was resting on the bar counter while she was staring into the darkness, her arms as saggy as a sea slug. Once in a while, she was slurping the cocktail through her straw, but most of the time, she was just closing her eyes, drowning in self-pity.

What kind of sadistic fate had befallen her?

She felt down, desperate and humiliated, but not in a nice way. No, this was different. She couldn’t enjoy any of it. This just sucked. And she had to live with it. She had to finally accept it. That Gin-san would never be interested in her ********.

It wasn’t like she didn’t know that already. It wasn’t a secret that the ugly cop and the Yorozuya were a couple now. She had known, but she had opted to ignore it, to completely block it out, to deny the very concept of it. Being in love with this man had been a part of her character from the very beginning and it was hard to shake such traits after 600 chapters. She had known it was hopeless since way before all of this began. But one final hope had kept on shimmering inside of her. Now it all seemed bleak and hopeless.

Sarutobi played sluggishly with the straw in her _sex on the beach_. She could feel the faint alcohol making her tipsy, warming her belly in a nice and comforting way. It wasn’t like she couldn’t understand this shitface’s feelings. He clearly was in love with Gin and in that regard, they were no different. She probably would have acted the same. But she wasn’t his girlfriend. She had no reason to be jealous. Only to be envious.

Frustrated, the kunoichi sneered and slurped some more alcohol. She finally needed to get over Gintoki. He wasn’t good for her and he wasn’t ever going to return her feelings. And she wasn’t really so desperate as to exploit his drugged teenage state. Just for a moment, though, it had been nice to feel wanted by him. To feel his aroused gaze prickling on her skin. To hear him say these sweet words.

Her heart hurt and Sarutobi growled. No. This had to stop. She was a strong, independent woman. She deserved more than this. She didn’t need a man. She could get whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted! Waiting for pipe dreams to come true wasn’t gonna work out anyway. It was time to change the path she was walking on. It was time to remove herself from this unhealthy obsession. She didn’t need Gin-san or his ****. She would be her own **** if she had to!

“Haaaaa…” Another sigh and she returned right to square one. Tomorrow. Tomorrow she would start with all that. But today? Today she would continue to bathe in self-pity.

 

“Tell me about it…” was the monotone, void answer from the person next to her. “…Hate this day.”

She didn’t turn around to see, didn’t care in the least where this came from. Right now, the only important things were alcohol, the cold bar counter pressing against her check and self-pity. A lot of self-pity. “Fuck this day.”

It didn’t seem like the stranger was particularly interested in her either. By the sound of it, he was in the same position, resting his head on the counter and staring into nothingness. “Can’t stand such people… telling me what to do… what am I? A toddler? I’m a fucking responsible adult already, come on…”

Sarutobi wasn’t interested in this visitor's story in the least. But she appreciated the opportunity to mope out loud. “Grow a pair. I will never get what I want. My whole character concept is flawed. I am reduced to this one thing. And now I can’t have it. Maybe I should grow a **** and then he’ll love me.”

“Don’t fucking care about your d*ck complex, man.” The other person sneered, pissed apparently. “Having a d*ck is a pain in the ass, y’know? I fucking had to masturbate in a dark alleyway because my d*ck felt like a viagra commercial.”

“Well, guess what I’m doing tonight. Again.” Not thinking of Gin, hopefully.

“Not having sex sucks balls.” The young man exhaled, exasperated. “But being treated like a child is worse. Fucking asshole. ‘s not like having fun would immediately kill me.”

“Why are you going on and on about that? If you don’t wanna be treated like a child, then just freaking do what you want. ‘s not like anyone can stop you.” This guy was annoying her.

“Just fucking violent cops, that is.”

“Fuck the police.” And Hijikata Toushirou in particular.

“Well, ‘would have loved to.” The young man growled under his breath and seemed unsettled by this thought.

“Then quit your whining and do it!” Sarutobi finally snapped and turned around, snarling at him. To be fair, she might have been a little bit tipsier than she would have liked to admit.

The teenager with the silver locks massaged his forehead and barked back at her. “’s not like I could even if I wanted to. And besides, I’d rather stick to women with giant racks. That’s more up my- …oh… it’s you.”

 

When he finally turned around to look at her, the ninja with the violet hair froze. Eyes wide open, she stared into reddishly brown eyes and felt the alcohol swirling in her veins. From one second to the other, her head turned beet red and she could feel a lump blocking her throat.

The teenager who happened to look like Gintoki looked pretty tired but stubbornly kept on going. There was a glass of untouched alcohol in front of him. He was wearing a pair of skinny jeans and a t-shirt with a pin-up girl on it. Maybe it was his dress-up or the fact that he lost some muscles. But right now, there was no mistake that there was indeed a teenager sitting right in front of her. He didn’t seem to really care to see her here, now that his urge was mostly satisfied.

“We’ve met before, haven’t we? In the hospital?”

“Gi-Gin-san…” she cawed, torn between her love for him and the utter disbelieve of his current state. One part of her was ready to throw itself into his arms, but the other, dominant part was holding her back. Carefully, she observed him, his posture, his face, his eyes. He really did seem younger, like a real teenager. Like a completely different person.

A tired smile, which was supposed to be seductive of some sort. “It’s you, right? You still wanna bone? I mean, I’m like still totally up for it. Just need a bit of time to reload.”

Clouds were coming out of her reddened ears and his words directly seeped into her aggrieved heart. Yes, _yes_! Of course, she wanted to have sex with him! But before she could even lift a finger, the sane part of herself held her back, letting this squelching feeling in her chest take over. This was _wrong_ , on so many levels.

This was not her Gin-san. This was a stranger, a teenager. He was not himself. And even though his words, his lips, his gaze was tempting, she knew she couldn’t do this. For his sake and her own. Even for this bastard’s sake. She couldn’t take advantage of him like this. She didn’t have the heart to do this.

A sad smile appeared on her lips and her eyelids dropped just a little bit. Her gaze wandered over his face, took in everything from his smile to his smell and his comfortable closeness. She wanted to savor this, to imprint this on her skin. Because it would be the last time, the very last time she would be this close to him. It was hard resisting the urge to place a kiss on his check and stroke through his hair. But she managed somehow and knew what she had to do.

“Sure… let’s do it.”

“Wo-ho! Great! Let me just get my gun ready.” He winked at her and showed some teeth before he took his glass stinking of vodka and toasted her. “Then, baby, I’m gonna blow. your. mind!”

He chugged the clear liquid in one go and approached her with a big smile, intending to kiss her before he immediately toppled over and fell unconscious on the floor.

The beautiful woman stared at him, lying face first on the floor, and couldn’t suppress a soft chuckle. It was no secret that Gin-san couldn’t hold his liquor, but teenage Gin was something else entirely. What a puppy.

Paying for their drinks, she pulled the shitfaced drunk man back up and placed him in her arms like a bride. She knew exactly where she would get him to. Under a weak growl, he protested but didn’t even have the strength to raise his arm, let alone to open his eyes. It was too cute.

When she carried him outside, the chilly evening air was greeting her with a soft bite. It was late. The lanterns around her were burning lower and the streets were harboring fewer and fewer people. Sarutobi preferred it that way. She wanted them to be alone. She wanted to feel him in her arms for just a bit more.

Just a little bit.

 

A pair of boots stopped in front of her, faintly scratching along the pebbles on the road. A gush of cigarette smoke drifted her way and disappeared the next second. As she raised her head, she looked into the blue eyes of a policeman. And he gazed back, worried and hesitant.

They didn’t say anything.

Sarutobi could feel the resistance swelling inside of her, twisting her stomach as well as her lips. She wasn’t even surprised anymore. It hurt, yes, but she knew where it was coming from. She could feel it in his fretted stare, in his stiff posture, in the leaden silence weighing them down. They were just the same, the two of them. They were cut from the same cloth.

“I’m…” He began, hoarse, clearing his throat and averting his gaze just enough to avoid a direct stare. Sarutobi waited. The silence between them got suffocating, rich with unsaid words and unuttered feelings.

The policeman finally mustered all of his strength and looked into her eye. She could see the things weighing him down. His voice was firm but lower than she expected it to be.

“…I’m sorry.”

That was taking her aback.

Why was he apologizing for all of the sudden?

But before she was able to express her confusion in any way, the cop continued, his voice quiet.

“…for how I acted earlier today.”

Another sting to her heart and she could feel her bewilderment crumbling under the weight of his words. She understood it now. Maybe even accepted it. Some things were just not meant to be. And some were just happy coincidences.  

It was time to let go.

“…Would you…" His voice was soft, pleading almost. Something she would never have expected from a brute like him. "...please get him home?”

This dirty cop continued to surprise her. Did he really trust her now? Was this his way of apologizing? Was this his offer of peace?

Well, it didn’t really matter, did it? She would play her part and he would play his. So, the ninja nodded and started moving. She was sick of seeing his face anyway. “Leave it to me.”

And with that Sarutobi Ayame walked into the cold night, pressing Gin’s dead drunk body against her chest. Not looking back anymore.

 

~ ~ ~

 

“So, that’s more or less what happened.”

Yamazaki was nodding to himself, scribbling down some notes into his report. He tried to be as thorough as possible and luckily, the young teenager was more cooperative than anyone else in this godforsaken police station. He knew the Chinese girl was interrogated by the Vice-Chief next door, while the Yorozuya was waiting in the courtyard, sulking. Apparently, it had been a real struggle to get him here in the first place. For some reason or another, he had protested fiercely against coming here and since he had arrived, he refused to talk to any of the policemen here. Yamazaki wasn’t sure if that was because of his teenage hormones or because of something else.

“Thank you for your testimony, Shinpachi. I think we have a better idea now who is behind these drug deals.”

“You’re welcome.” The boy with the glasses nodded as well and seemed concerned. “If we can help you in any way, please don’t hesitate to ask us.”

“We will. Hopefully, we’ll be able to solve it ourselves. I think you’ve been through enough already.”

A sigh and the young man tousled his hair. “You know, I always thought being a teenager is hard. But taking care of one is even harder. I wish Gin-san would return to his normal self soon…”

An understanding smile, as the Shinsengumi spy stood up and reached out to guide him outside. “I know what you mean. Okita-san is basically a teenager with megalomania.”

Shinpachi smiled as well, expressing his sincere condolences. “Right. You also have a lot on your plate, don’t you?”

“Yeah…” Both men stepped into the open corridor, where the garden greeted them with its lush green cedars. The weather was nice, and cicadas were chirping in the distance under the heat of the last summer days. A brooding silver-haired teenager sat on the wooden corridor facing the little pond where a few little koi were sluggishly moving through the water. He didn’t even react to them, punished them with silence and his back facing towards them. Both men just sighed, shared a look and shrugged.  

And the end began.

“Yo!” A young man chewing bubble gum approached them, but ignored the two completely, focusing on the teenager only. “Sorry for being late. I didn’t wanna come.”

“Okita-san.” Shinpachi was surprised and worried at the same time. He opened his lips but was too afraid to ask after all.

He didn’t have to, anyway, because Sougo was stopping in front of Gin and snapped at him in his usual, bored tone. “Yo, danna. Heard you are my _kouhai_ now? Does that mean I can order you around?”

The silver-head didn’t move, only his gaze shot up, obviously not in the mood to talk to him. “Piss off. I don’t answer to you.”

“Uhhh, scary.” Unimpressed, he chewed his gum, making a large bubble. “Well, you will because I’ll be your personal babysitter from now on. Don’t worry, I’m as thrilled as you are.”

“What?” Shinpachi stepped next to Gin, trying to get the officer’s attention. This was the worst possible combination he could think of! “Why? I… I mean we will take care of Gin-san. You really don’t have to bother, Okita-san.”

“Nah, it’s fine. Orders are orders, after all.” He grinned back at Shinpachi, a hint of a devilish smile glued to his lips.

Oh no. This just couldn’t end well. But before the dark-haired young man could reply anything, Gin was already barking, still refusing to stand up.

“I don't need a fucking babysitter, for God’s sake!”

“Well, consider me your bodyguard then.” Sougo smirked, challengingly. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure no one will hurt you.”

That was as convincing as hearing a baby say it will take care of your tax returns. Gin was obviously pissed, just barely containing his anger right now. It was Shin’s last opportunity to calm things down now. He messed it up splendidly.

“That-that really isn’t necessary, Okita-san! Let me please speak with Kondou-san. I’m sure we can somehow change his mind!”

“Kondou-san?” The blond man fainted surprise but made sure to stress every following syllable. “No, I got the order from our Vice-Chief. Hijikata-san was the one who ordered me to change this guy’s diapers.”

That was the last straw. In that very moment, the teenager jumped up and hissed at Okita, who was only a bit smaller than him now. “Leave me the fuck alone! Why are you guys so obsessed with me? I don’t need protection or babysitting for fuck's sake! You’re just bullying me!”

The Shinsengumi officer wasn’t impressed in the least and hid his sadistic pleasure quite well if you didn’t know him. “I would _never_ bully _anyone_. Don’t worry, Gin-kun. We’ll have some _fun_.”

That subtle threat was more tangible, and Gin scoffed. “Sure! I swear to God, I’m gonna kill you!”

“Hey hey.” Suddenly, Okita’s expression changed and his aura grew darker. “Listen closely, punk. I’m not your precious boyfriend, so you won’t get any special treatment from me. Don’t think I will go easy on you. If you step out of line, I will _punch_ you back into line. Understood?”

 

That worked. Intimated, Gin took a step back and growled under his breath, giving him a death stare. “All of you cops are fucking psychos.”

“I’m telling you!” Abruptly, a young girl’s voice pierced through the heavy air. “If I had known beforehand, none of this would have happened! I would have crushed all of them on the spot!”

A soft sigh as Hijikata held the door open for her. “…I know.”

“Don’t you give me that look, Toshi! Next time you’ll come to me first! Then I’ll show you how we Yato deal with mobsters.” Kagura stomped outside, huffy. When she saw Okita however, she stopped and grimaced. “Urgh, speaking of dealing with mobsters.”

Sougo gave her one of her challenging, fake-innocent smiles. “Who’s a mobster now? I’m your bosses’ babysitter now, which also makes me your babysitter. So, watch your tongue or I’ll cut it out.”

Kagura was immediately in offense mode, showcasing her bare fists. “You wish! I’m gonna cut off your **** while you sleep!”

As Sougo joined in in their usual banter, Hijikata’s gaze drifted to Gintoki, just for a moment. When their eyes locked, he could see the teenager’s mood rapidly worsening. With a silent snarl, he immediately turned around and stomped off. From the outside, the sting in his heart was hardly visible. Instead, Hijikata just averted his gaze and said nothing.

“Oh, sorry China. Seems like my duties require me elsewhere. But hold that thought. I’ll come and crush you later!” Sougo awarded Kagura with a bored expression and Hijikata with a sadistic smile. “Don’t worry Hijikata-san. I’ll take _good_ care of your boyfriend.”

Only a silent nod from his commanding officer and then the second in command was off. Kagura was shouting after him, giving him the finger, while Yamazaki only scratched his temples and wondered if this would go well.

Shinpachi turned to the dark-haired policeman, visibly worried. “Hijikata-san. Do you really think it’s a good idea to team up the two of them?”

For a long pause, the officer was just puffing his cigarette and looked in the opposite direction. His demeanor was collected, and it was hard to detect his true feelings under it. “Probably not. But I think out of all people, Sougo will be able to handle him best. They’re just one year apart now after all.”

“I guess Gin-san will disagree… He has been in a very foul mood since yesterday.” Shin resisted the urge to ask him if anything had happened. They hadn’t heard from Hijikata-san last night, but Gin-san had been home when they checked there, sleeping on his futon. So, they just assumed that he had brought him home. But something had happened, and it wasn’t good. He trusted the Vice Commander, even though it was a hard pill to swallow.

The cop didn’t answer and started moving in the opposite direction. “…Sougo will take care of him now, but you’re free to do whatever you like. We believe he could be the target of another attack, so we need to keep him under surveillance. Sorry for causing you guys so much trouble.”

And with that, he was almost out of earshot. Shinpachi stared as the officer took a corner and disappeared. He was worried. Gin-san wasn’t his normal self and Hijikata-san was unusually reserved.

Something was going to go down, wasn't it?

 

~ ~ ~

 

The throbbing vain on his temple started pulsating like crazy now.

He had ignored it for the last hours, had tried to completely block it out the whole day. But at some point, enough was enough.

This cop had stalked him _every_ step he went. He had followed him through the streets, to the parks and even accompanied him into the public bath. And not in a secretive way. Hell no. He had always been not more than 10 feet away, sometimes even standing directly behind him, staring at him like a freaking ghost out of a horror movie. It was a fucking nightmare!

But now he had enough. The crazy stalker cop was looming behind him, breathing in his neck while Gin was checking-out a beautiful girl in a maid costume right outside a maid café. His breathing was so loud and annoying that he got goosebumps. And not in a nice way. It was disgusting.

Furious, the teenager whirled around and snapped at him, hands up in the air, ready to strangle him. “Would you, like, leave me the fuck alone already!”

The surprised look on his face was basically inviting him to be met with a fist. “Oh? Sorry, didn’t see you there, pal. Nice meeting you again!”

Gin’s face was almost exploding, and he shivered in anger. “You...”

Sougo was grinning now, tilting his head. “Calm down, man. I just wanna hang out.”

“Well, I _don’t_!”

The police officer was incredibly amused by his behavior. He seemed to be less aggressive now, though. “C’mon, Gin-kun. I think we got off on the wrong foot. Let me invite you to a beer and some ramen. I’ll even pay for you. How does that sound?”

“And why would I voluntarily accept this offer?” Still, pretty pissed.

“Did I say it was a request?”

“You’re all fucking psychopaths!”

“Thank you for the compliment.” The blond man grinned and nodded towards a small ramen shop on the other end of the street. It was late afternoon now and a chilly breeze was sliding down from the mountains. “Let’s go eat, shall we?”

The silver-head growled, as well as his stomach. He really didn’t like this guy. But he didn’t have any money and it seemed like he couldn’t turn down the invitation anyway. So, begrudgingly, he stomped towards the ramen shop and went ahead to order the biggest and most expensive bowl of ramen he could find.

Sougo didn’t seem to mind and ordered the same, as well as two light beers. The ramen shop was quite full already and people were having fun, chatting with the cook and the waiter in the middle of the cooking area. Gin slumped down a high chair in the darkest corner of the restaurant. He didn’t look at anyone, didn’t seem to care about anything. When the policeman sat down opposite of him, he didn’t even flinch or look up. He completely ignored his very existence as well as the numbing hunger torturing his stomach.

The blond man eyed him and for a long time, the two young men sat in silence, waiting for their ramen. When the waitress served their food and beer, Gin didn’t hesitate for a second. He started gulping down the hot bowl without even so much as an _itadakimasu_.

It was truly strange to see him like this. Even Sougo, who wasn’t easily impressed, had to take a while to completely stomach _danna’s_ transformation. Funny how much people changed over just 10 years.

With a cheeky smile, the policeman broke his chopsticks in two and started mixing the topping spices with the rest of the broth. “Good?”

No answer, of course.

But he hadn’t expected one. Instead, he stuffed some ramen noodles into his mouth and started talking at the same time. “You don’t have to be so pissed, by the way. I’m not really gonna babysit you. And I’m not that guy’s dog. I couldn’t care less about his orders.”

Still nothing, but he knew that Gin was listening. So, he did him the favor of answering his implied questions.

“Seems like you really don’t remember anything, danna. Otherwise, you would know how much I hate that guy. …We usually pair up against him to torture him, y’know?”

“Hmph.” Was the only, unbelieving response.

“I’m a bit offended that you forgot about me, to be honest. I mean, one might think you’d remember one of your closest friends.”

“Oh, gimme a break.”

 

This time, Sougo grinned candidly. Maybe there were still some memories left? “In any case, we’re cut from the same cloth, you and I. Sure, I have to keep an eye on you right now, but I’m not gonna stick to your ass. You’re a grown man and can take care of yourself. Hijikata is just an obnoxious crybaby. He should just chill out a bit if you ask me.”

Gin eyed him for a second before he continued to devour his ramen. He smelled the rat, for sure. But Sougo knew it was the only way to gain his trust right now. And it wasn’t as if he was lying. So, the policeman opened his beer and poured a bit into their glasses. “I mean, I really don’t think these mobsters will go after you. ‘s not like you remember anything anyway. He’s just paranoid, this guy. So, I’d say, let’s waste his time and money a bit.”

The devilish grin reappeared on his lips and he showcased the wallet which was way too plain and practical to belong to him.

Gin took a moment to understand and stare at him in disbelief. A deep frown combed through his forehead as he tried to figure out what the hell this guy’s deal was. “…You… really are a strange one.”

Just a shrug and Okita fished out some more yen. “Not really. Hijikata thinks he’s smarter than me, but I got a replica of his wallet months ago. It’s filled with a lot of duds, so next time he pays, he’ll land right into our track record of money launders.”

“…” Just gradually, Gin’s cold aura thawed, but he didn’t realize it yet.

“He might figure it out soon, though. I switched out his favorite photo with a new one. I doubt he’ll like it. It’s a naked lady.”

“…So, he’s like… 100% gay?”

Okita felt a small rush of adrenalin. Not that he hadn’t been sure that he would get him to talk eventually. But talking to a teenage version of danna? That was certainly going to be interesting. “Guess so. ‘ mean he wasn’t always, I think. But you certainly changed his mind.”

“Tsk. _I_ didn’t.” An unnerved protest.

“Anyway, he’ll figure it out soon. He thought he could hide this photo from me, but he’s so naïve.” Skillfully, he drew out a photo from a secret stash inside the wallet. On it, Gintoki and Hijikata were drinking together and Gin had a huge smile on his lips. It was one of the photos Sougo had taken at the party, not so long ago.

Wordlessly, Gin was eying the photo. Just a moment, until he turned to his ramen again, seemingly unfazed.

The blond policeman returned the photo to the hidden pocket and sipped on his beer, eyes closed. “I take it you don’t remember anything from before the drug kicked in?”

“…”

“Thought so. Man, that sucks. Something you want to know?” Sougo knew the others had pretty much already told him all the boring details. He, in turn, was only interested in the juicy stuff.

A long pause and some slurping of ramen until he eyed him again. “…What exactly are you doing here with me again? I doubt you only want to chat.”

A smirk. Apparently, he was sharp, teen or not. “Honestly? I think it’s just plain fun. Seeing you as a teenager that is. And don’t worry. If anything, I love messing with Hijikata. As far as I’m concerned, I’m just enjoying a hot bowl of soup and beer on his expense.”

One could see that Gin was pondering if he should believe him or not. His gaze cut deep, but in the end, he turned to his beer, carefully sipping on it. He was more relaxed now. “Why do you hate him again?”

He’d rather not go there, but he did for information’s sake. “He’s just annoying and stiff. And he was in love with my sister before she died.”

That obviously surprised him, but Gin didn’t look at him. “…Sorry.”

Wow, really a different person, huh? “Don’t be. She had been quite sick anyway.” Just for a moment, he paused to suppress the haunting memories. Then, he continued to eat his ramen. “So, he was a total dick to her and that’s one reason I hate him.”

No response, only chilly silence. He could almost _hear_ him thinking.

“Why do we know each other anyway?”

“Because you’re a famous criminal and war hero, Gin-kun. I mean, we didn’t know that for a long time, but you just kept on causing trouble. So yeah, we met a lot and arrested you several times for your shenanigans. And you were there when we needed help. Especially Hijikata and you had a lot of encounters.”

“Sounds rather strange then.”

“What do you mean?”

His hesitation was tangible. He still didn’t know if he could open up to this cop. It was obvious how interested he was in Hijikata and Sougo wondered if that was part of a dormant memory. Either way, he was waiting to find something juicy he could torture his superior with.

“…How he and I ended up together, I mean…”

“Well…” A shrug and Sougo was drinking his beer. “…I think you two had been interested in each other from the start. And with time, you came to really trust each other. Guess it was a really slow-burn. But I agree. You definitely are a strange couple. Oh well, he seems happy enough with you. Makes him an easy target for me, hehehe.”

“…Sorry to disappoint you then. I don’t like him.”

“Not saying that you have to. I don’t understand why you became his boyfriend in the first place. Maybe that’s a gay thing.”

“…’m not gay…” A whisper of a protest.

 

“Oh, come on, Gin-kun. Everyone knows you swing both ways. You dressed as a woman, worked in a gay bar and have been in bed with both Kondou and that homeless dirtbag*. Hijikata and you even once ate dicks*. This really isn’t news.”

He could see him turning red and concealing it with a load full of ramen in his mouth.

“So yeah…” Sougo was ordering some _kae-dama_ to fill up his bowl. “I don’t care if you two fuck or tell each other to fuck off. I’m just taking on every opportunity to make him suffer.”

“…Seems to me like you want me to understand him better, though.” The teenager’s voice was reticent, hesitant. “You trying to make me forgive him?”

“Heh.” The blond man was grinning now, shooting him a short, sassy look. “Well, it’s just that it’s so much easier to mock him when he’s banging you.”

“He’s… banging _me_?”

_Jackpot_ _~_

Sougo couldn’t suppress a triumphant look. Though he had already suspected that from last time. “I dunno. Isn’t that so?”

His face was red now, unsettled. “How the hell am I supposed to know?”

“Hahaha, don’t worry about it Gin-kun.” The blond captain was clearly having fun, already plotting his next steps. “You’ve once had a sword permanently stuck in your ass*, so I guess taking in Toushi’s broken sword really shouldn’t be a problem. Come to think of it… with all the things that landed in your ass over the years, I really shouldn’t be surprised. But I’m sure he will be gentle. He’s such a soft-hearted wuss.”

“What the fuck, man. Shut your freaking mouth! I’m not his boyfriend! I don’t even know him!” Flaring reddish cheeks challenged him as Gin was slamming his fists on the table.

“Well…” Sougo gave him a quick smirk. “…I’m sure your memories are already coming back, aren’t they? Don’t fight it too much, Gin-kun. Really no shame in that. If anything, you should savor this opportunity and mess with him. If we team up, we can completely destroy him. Just imagine all of the possibilities!”

His jaw dropped a bit and he stared at him, torn between horror and temptation.

His partner in crime toasted him and drank a large swing of his beer. “Your call, though. But if you want revenge on this shithead, then you’ve come to the right address. We’re gonna obliterate his sorry ass. What do you say?”

“…” Gin ground his teeth, obviously still unsure what to make of this guy. Eventually, he raised himself, bringing some distance between them. “You really are a psycho, you know?”

“Maybe.” A flashy grin and he handed him the dark blue wallet. “Think about it, will ya? And take his money. You surely need some right now, ain’t that right?”

“…Hmph.” After a short moment of hesitation, he snatched the wallet and turned around, stomping off without another word.

“Think about it, Gin-kun!” Sougo reiterated and sipped on his beer with a suppressed smile. He was quite happy how all of this had turned out. This was promising to be so much fun. And it was amazing how many people were actually underestimating him. But he wouldn’t complain. It was playing right into his hand, after all. By tracking him through the wallet, he would save himself a lot of time. The sadistic smile wouldn’t wear off. “You know where to find me...”

 

~ ~ ~

 

Bonus

 

Moonlight was streaming into his room and kept him awake. At least, that was the most convenient explanation. It was 2 AM and he still couldn't sleep. His head hurt, thoughts spinning around, racing inside his head. It was as if something was working inside of him, trying to accomplish something. It was annoying, to be honest. He just wanted to sleep.

Rolling to the side, Gintoki stared into the grey twilight, wide awake. Images were flashing in front of his eyes, faces and memories he couldn't yet tie together. A poisonous amalgam of feelings was rummaging inside his chest, making him feel sick. Something wanted him to remember. But he didn't want to. He just wanted to be left alone. And yet, he couldn't stop himself from doing it over and over again. Something drew himself to it. He just couldn't help it. And so, for the fourth time this night, he reached for the wallet and fished out the photo.

It was him alright. He looked older, different somehow. And this cop bastard looked the same. They were smiling, both of them. It was such a peaceful picture. One could easily see the affection they held towards each other. He could feel it in his heart, too. As if there was an emotion tied to this picture, buried deep inside of him. It felt so strange, so misplaced. Like looking at an imposter trying to take over your life. But in this case, he was the imposter, wasn't he?

That thought tasted incredibly bitter.

It made him angry.

Putting the picture back, Gintoki rolled around and closed his eyes. He didn't care. This was his life now. And he would do whatever he liked. He wouldn't let anyone stop him from that.

He didn't want to remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annotation:
> 
> * Sougo is talking about the Scandal and the Love potion arc.
> 
> * The Funeral episodes: chapter 316-317, anime 231.
> 
> * The Excalibur Arc: chapter 424-429, anime 334-336


	14. Demon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being involved with the police is dangerous.

## Demon

 

It had been a hard day already and it wasn’t even noon.

Hijikata Toushiro could feel a hard lump in his neck, giving him a migraine. He massaged it a bit while walking through the streets of Kabuki-chō. It was a lazy Sunday morning and most of the shops and restaurants were still closed. Such a peaceful day and for a second, he could have almost been swayed by it. But these drug dealers were still on the run and causing trouble in the shadows. Unforgivable. He needed to catch them soon. When did they get so good at covering tracks, he wondered.

The officer was walking his usual route, alone. He had been a policeman for so long, he knew every nook and cranny of the city. Today, he chose this part of Shinjuku deliberately. The last months, a lot of yakuza activity had been reported here, near Tocho-mae, and he knew that they were hiding somewhere out here. He wasn’t going to do something stupid. He was just patrolling, observing, hoping to stumble on the last piece of the puzzle. They needed to find them as well as their storage. He couldn’t wait to lock these bastards away for good.

A sigh and he cracked some bones in his neck while scanning all of the civilians carefully. Most of them were inconspicuous: older women bringing out the trash, young women on their way to an event, delivery men on duty or craftspeople repairing damage to some houses. There were some strange guys in between, but they just stared at him as he went by. So, he didn’t bother with them.

Working had always helped him suppress his feelings, deal with unpleasant situations. It helped him forgetting this whole ridiculous situation he was in. All the bad things that had come out of it. He didn’t want to be reminded either. They would just be solved by time. At least that’s what he told himself.

Yesterday, Sougo had come home late. He had given him a thorough report of his surveillance, filled with an abundant number of details no one cared about. When he had finally talked about Gintoki, he had made sure to tell him exactly what would worry him most. But Hijikata had expected that, so he wasn’t swayed as much. He knew what asking this guy for a favor meant. Especially when it involved things that were important to the Vice Commander. He just bore with it, knowing that Gin was safe with him. And this was the only thing that mattered.

Even though Sougo still tried to kill and torture him at every chance he got, Hijikata trusted him. He trusted him to take good care of Gintoki. Of course, his second in command would deliberately do the exact opposite of everything Hijikata believed in and stood for. But in the end, he would make sure the drugged teenager was safe from the yakuza. And the Vice Chief was sure that they would target him eventually. No way in hell would they just let him walk.

He tried not to go there. The thought alone made his heart shiver in fear. Instead, he focused on the work at hand, keeping his cool-headed demeanor as much as he could. There wasn’t much he could do anyway. Gin didn’t want to see him, and he wouldn’t force himself on him. For now, he just bore with the fact that this teenager hated him. And hopefully, with time, the drug would wear off and his memories would come back. And then everything would be over…

But first, he needed to bust this freaking drug ring and drag every last one of these bastards to prison.

 

As he was walking down the road, the street became livelier. There was a pachinko hall nearby, disrupting the peaceful low chatter with its ear-shattering rattling whenever the automatic door opened to let a customer in. There was a housewife airing the family futons at the upper window while shouting at her kids not to bother the neighbors too much. There were two dogs barking at each other while their owners tried to calm them down in a futile attempt. There was a silver-headed teenager swinging some money in front of an older man with a big scar on his face as if to persuade him to give him something in return.

Wait.

What?

Blinking, the officer stared back to the last civilians he saw, only some yards away from him. He couldn’t understand their words, but the situation was easy enough to read. A young man with silver locks and a simple white summer yukata with short sleeves and shorts was shuffling some money. The bored look in his eyes was innocent and unfazed. In contrast to the other, older man facing him. The scar was only the first hint, the black yukata, sword and tattoo on his hand the other ones. His short black hair was put in an undercut and a _kiseru_ was stuck between his lips as he accepted the money and counted it.

Wait a second… this couldn’t be. This just couldn’t be…

As the teenager picked his nose, the dangerous looking man grinned and nodded. He was making an inviting gesture, and both started moving, heading towards a dark alley further down the road.

Hijikata couldn’t move.

He was utterly frozen.

No way. No way in hell!

This must have been an illusion. Maybe just his imagination. A prank pulled by this sadistic coworker of his. No. No way! He couldn’t be…

Then the two men cut the corner and were sucked in by the twilight of the high towering buildings. The rest of the street was peaceful. But Hijikata Toushiro couldn’t be swayed. He just couldn’t believe what had unfolded before his eyes.

Had Gin honestly been involved with the yakuza just now? In broad daylight? Buying drugs?! While these exact criminals were out looking to get him?! What the hell! And where did he even get that money from?!

His mind was blanking, and he started panicking. Before he even realized it, he was already starting to run.

_That idiooooot!_

 

~ ~ ~

 

“Wow, it’s exactly as shady as depicted in all those movies.”

Gin seemed bored as he looked around. They had walked the long path of a back alley right into what looked like a spacious backyard. It was quite dark here, even though the sun was up high. The buildings were old and worn down, an array of old balconies and awnings was cascading down to spend shade in the heat of the last summer days. Some part of him felt uncomfortable, watched, but his teenage self wasn’t aware of this. He kicked some pebbles as he walked by and wrinkled his nose.

His personal convoy stopped in front of the last house which looked particularly run down. Two men were already waiting there, swords on their belts and a silent aggressive aura engulfing them. They nodded to their leader and positioned themselves next to him as he turned towards the teen.

His deep, raspy voice matched his edgy grin perfectly. “So, as you were saying, boy…”

A sway of his hand and a bored look was all he elicited from him. “I don’t care what you give me. Crack, ecstasy, heroin or just a joint. Doesn’t matter. You probably have something nice, don’t you? I’m not picky. I just wanna make the most of my youth. Hit me, old man.”

A chuckle and he scrutinized him from head to toe. “Really, now? Well, that’s interesting.”

“C’mon! Don’t be a bore.” The teenager complained while picking his ear. “I have enough old men trying to tell me how to live my life. I gave you a lot of cash, so now keep your end of the bargain. Got something nice for me?”

“Well… I certainly do.” The man snickered again and puffed his pipe. “You know who I am, right?”

“Urgh… please don’t go introducing yourself without me even asking-”

“My name is Tetsujin.” He continued as if he didn’t hear him. “And I’m in charge of this district. All these nice drugs come directly from me. I’m your trusted local juvie-dealer. But you probably remember me from the party, right?”

“The what now?” Gin’s face showed pure pain by how bored he was. “Listen, old man. I don’t know what you’re talking about and as much as I love to go to parties, I don’t know where I should know you from. Can we, like, get this over with already? I just want some nice marihuana, ok? Just enough to chill for the next days. You may look like a villain, but you probably keep to your word, right?”

Tetsujin seemed pretty amused by all of this and closed his eyes. “Ahhh, well, I forgot. You probably don’t remember a thing, hm? Even though you little bastard destroyed all of my stockings at the wedding. You glutton. But don’t worry, I’m not mad. You already paid me back, after all.”

“Oi, oi, oi!” Unnerved, the teenager glared at him. “Don’t pull that crap on me! Don’t pretend my money will pay back some debt I never even heard of. Give me my hash already!”

“Sure, whatever you want.” A contented smile as his eyes drifted away for a second as if to check something. Then a short nod moved his head and his eyes started blinking. “Once we’re finished here, that is.”

Out of nowhere, steel plunged through the shadow and scraped the air right next to Gin’s throat. A sword softly cut his skin as one of the two yakuza stepped forward. Tetsujin’s smirk was triumphant now as Gin’s face showed the first sign of fear.

“Who would’ve known that I could kill two birds with one stone today.”

The teenager gulped and hissed at him, desperately clinging to anger in order to resist the rising panic. “What the fuck, man? I came here to have a good time, and honestly, I feel so attacked right now!”

The drug dealer came closer and raised his finger, slightly pressing the blade closer to Gin’s throat so that the steel started drawing just a hint of blood. “Drop the act already, _Gin-san_. Not that I cared about your hairy ass for one bit. But after you’ve messed with me, I did a little bit of research…”

Gin gritted his teeth and glared at him, not being able to move at all. The air between them got colder and Gin’s senses were too blurred to realize the movement happening in the back alley they had emerged from earlier. Tetsujin smirked but was not taking his eyes off of him.

“…And it looks like you’ve made my job easier. Eradicating a little pest that’s been following me around for a while, that’s it.”

“TESTUJIN!”

 

The piercing shout hit him like a truck. Blinking, Gin’s eyes shot to the side to find out what the hell was happening. As he realized whose voice it was, however, his heart dropped a beat.

At the exit of the alleyway, a full ten yards away, a policeman stood. His sword was drawn and dripping with blood, the path behind him filled with half a dozen men writhing in pain. The black-haired man’s eyes were hard and filled with anger.

It just made the drug dealer smile. He glanced at Gin and patted his shoulder. “Well, who would’ve known? Just remember this, kid. Getting involved with the police is _dangerous_ …”

The teenager shivered under the bellowing laugh and couldn’t decide where to look. His heart was racing faster as he started to realize what all of this meant. Unwillingly, his eyes darted back to the officer standing at the edge of the yard, not moving even one inch.

“Oh my! What a nice surprise!” Tetsujin rejoiced, raising his hands in delight as he faced Hijikata. “And you even remembered my name! How very sweet of you. Even though we never even met. Am I getting famous now? Famous enough for the demonic Vice Chief to notice me?”

A growl that could even be heard from the distance. Hijikata’s eyes were smoldering like lava, but he didn’t say a word. His look alone would strike fear in every sane human being. But Tetsujin wasn’t impressed in the least.

His henchman dragged Gin backwards, buried his hands in his perm and placed the blade directly on his throat. The teenager shivered and fought the fear trying to subdue him. He bit his lip and helplessly watched the situation unfold. The yakuza grinned and waved, inviting the cop to come closer.

“I must say, I’m honestly surprised. I knew you were full of yourself, but patrolling our streets alone? Don’t you think you’re getting a little too cocky, huh? Or is it you just panicked because you saw your _honey_ being taken in by us?”

No reaction, not even a blink. Gin wondered why. He didn’t understand the situation, didn’t understand how fast things went south. Why was this guy even here? He was the last person he wanted to see. Painfully, Gin clenched his teeth and stared at the officer, trying to make sense of this whole mess.

“I mean…” Tetsujin grinned as the shadows around the place began to move. He didn’t take his eyes off the Vice Chief and puffed his pipe from time to time. “…I always knew the Shinsengumi was a squad full of faggots, but I honestly didn’t expect _this_. I mean… the Demonic Vice Commander of the Police… having a _boyfriend_? Don’t make me laugh. We’re not in a yaoi drama here.”

“Kch.” He seriously couldn’t understand how calm this guy could be. Gin was fueling his fear into something less productive and that was annoyance. “So, you’re using me to provoke him, huh? Well, nice try but it’s useless. I dumped his sorry ass. ‘Got nothing to do with him, so feel free to kill him or whatever. Just leave me out of this!”

The grin he got from the yakuza was sadistic. He came closer and squeezed his cheeks together. “Oh, you poor one. Of course, I totally believe you.”

“I don’t care about this guy one bit!” Gin spat back. “I came here to have a good time and you’re ruining it, man! Let me go and then do whatever you want with him!”

“Doesn’t matter what _you_ think, boy.” The man with the black undercut nodded towards the other side of the yard. “ _He_ cares for you and that’s why you’ll stay exactly where you are.”

Gin was fuming, ignoring Hijikata as much as possible now. Meanwhile, Tetsujin turned to the cop again and gave a short hand sign.

“Anyway, back to business. I don’t like dealing with fags, but I’ll make an exception for you, Vice Chief-sama. You’ve stalked us long enough. Let’s end this here and now.”

Blood was still dripping from Hijikata’s sword, as he stood in the shadows and stared at them. His demeanor was calm, it seemed, though the ice-cold rage was conspicuous in his eyes. He was surrounded from all sides now, men pointing their guns at him from the balconies while others readied their swords in the yard below. He was heavily outnumbered.

“Is that so? Well, then there’s not much left to say, is there?” Hijikata focused on the drug dealer as if he was setting his target, tightening the grip on his sword handle. “Your days as a yakuza end today, Tetsujin. I’ll make sure you’ll get what you deserve.”

 

And just like that, he dashed forward.

Gunshots ripped through the air, but all bullets plunged into the ground. First, Hijikata was sprinting forward into the group of yakuza blocking his way. With two broad swings, he knocked the swords of two men out of their hands while two others suffered injuries on their arms. Before the blades could reach his neck, he crouched down and dealt another hit, immobilizing one through a well-placed strike to his calves. This time, his sword was blocked, however, and four others used the opportunity to launch an attack at him.

Skillfully, the policeman dropped back and got hold of an enemy, using the momentum of his movement to shove him right onto the sword that was aiming for him. As the blood was gushing out and a painful moan filled the air, Hijikata’s sword was plunging out from behind, cutting right through a sword hand. Three down already. He felt a swing from the side, blocking it with the hilt of his sword. Then the gunshots sounded again. Those would be difficult to deal with.

A roaring man ran into him and the cop evaded his assault while knocking the sword out of his hand with a well-placed kick. As he pushed the man into the attackers in front of him, he gripped hold of the sword and threw it blade-first into the nearest gunman. It hit bullseye and filled the yard with a horrified scream.   

Shots began reigning down on him again and the black-haired man knew he had to take cover. So, he quickly dashed into his enemies once more, using them as shields while staying low and slashing at their feet. He wasn’t trying to kill them. He just needed to immobilize them. Just a dozen left on the ground…

A bullet hit his arm as he took down the next enemy. Three attacked him at once now and he had to dance to evade their constant slashes. While they cornered and surrounded him, he had close-combat on his side. With the swift movement of the hilt of his sword, he broke somebody’s nose and used the gained space to pierce his blade right into an abdomen. Blood was spurting on him and drained his vest. He couldn’t evade the next attack and steel ripped a shallow wound in his side. Instead of retreating back, though, he rushed forward right into the attack, dealing a fatal blow to his opponent.

Kicking the man with the broken nose to the ground, the last enemy of the vanguard took him head-on. Hijikata overpowered him with a single hit to his stomach, ramming him down into the ground and pinning him there with a hand on his head and a blade near his neck. Then there was silence. A terrifying silence broken only by heavy huffing, moaning, and suppressed groans. Hijikata Toushirou’s sword was blood-stained and his eyes were glowing.

“I don’t intend to kill any of you bastards. I’ll let you rot in prison and torture you until you won’t even remember your own names. Unless… you cooperate and tell us the names of your higher-ups. Then I might go easy on you…”

 

He had taken out the vanguard like it was nothing. Twice as many people remained, but they didn’t dare to approach him in this very moment. Fear was slithering through the ranks and froze them to the very spots they stood on. Everybody knew he wasn’t joking around.

Tetsujin gulped and a thin drop of sweat rolled down his temple. But he grinned either way. “Keh… you really are a demon, Vice-Chief. But it doesn’t matter now. You can’t keep this up forever. You’re heavily outnumbered…”

He didn’t care. At all. Instead, he pulled back the man’s hair, making his neck bend and expose more skin to his anticipating blade. Hijikata’s eyes, however, were solely fixed on the drug dealer.

“And you’re running out of men, Tetsujin.”

Panic was creeping up inside of him, but the yakuza didn’t surrender to it. He was grinning like a lunatic instead. “Doesn’t matter. We took extra good care of you. All of our blades are poisoned. And some of the bullets will hit you eventually. You will die here, pig.”

“You clearly underestimate me.” Was the only, dry response.

Violently, Hijikata crashed the man’s head into the ground so he would lose consciousness. Then he stood up, drawing his sword unfazed by threats, numbers or odds. Instead, he was locking Tetsujin as his target. His eyes were radiating cold like a blizzard, no mercy left in them. He was ready to kill. Only five yards separated them now. The air between them grew thinner by the second.

“D-don’t fucking joke around!” His opponent screamed and pulled a gun, shooting at the cop without even so much as a warning. A shower of bullets began raining down from above as well.

Hijikata was running already. Most of the bullets missed their target, except for four of them, ripping through his flesh. Two dug themselves into his leg and calf, one pierced through his torso and the last one hit his shoulder. Blood was spurting, and he lost his balance, tumbling forward as he continued to run. Sword drawn, eyes fixed on his enemy, he didn’t yield. Like a true demon, he pressed forward, paying no heed to his injuries.

Tetsujin tumbled backwards as Hijikata’s sword was trying to reach him in a broad swing. His other henchman jumped forward instead and diverted the cop’s dash. A metallic ‘cling’ ripped through the air as their swords clashed. For a moment, the policeman lost sight of both Tetsujin and Gin. His opponent was more skilled than the others and from time to time, Hijikata had to evade another bullet. His leg injuries further weakened his stand and mobility, but he still used his enemies own weight against him. He didn’t have time to deal with more of these henchmen. So, he slipped through the next attack and dragged the blade along his opponent’s stomach in the process. Blood gushed on him as he attempted to use the motion to reach his goal.

But as soon as he set eyes on his target again, he had to stop.

The drug dealer had retreated a few steps and so did his other bodyguard with Gin in tow. The teenager was now cornered from two sides. The sword of the henchman on his throat and the drug dealer’s gun on his head. Tetsujin was howling, violently shoving his weapon into silver locks.

“Don’t fucking move or I’ll blow his brains out!”

 

And that was the moment Hijikata finally came to a halt.

Quietly panting, strained by combat, he stared at the drug dealer as if he would turn into a wild beast any second now. Then, his gaze wandered off to the teenager, who had been caught up in this whole mess.

The terror in his eyes was overwhelming. Gin was staring at him like a frightened child. Like someone, who had never seen such a fight, so much violence before. Like someone, who had never feared for his life before. Gin was screaming for help without a single sound leaving his dry throat.

And Hijikata just couldn’t bear it.

“Ha ha… Hahaha…. Hahahahahaha!” Tetsujin’s eyes were torn open now while his finger was pressed tightly against the trigger. “Gotcha, you bastard. Surely, you couldn’t bear to watch your boyfriend die in front of you, right? So, don’t fucking move, or you’ll be able to pick up pieces of his brain.”

“He’s not my boyfriend anymore.” Hijikata replied calmly, averting his gaze now and locking in on the drug dealer instead. His face was consumed by resentment, but he still managed to stay calm. “…He’s just a teenager, who got himself tangled up in your dirty business.”

“So what?! You’re a fucking cop, amiright? And I will slaughter this fucking civilian! Drop your fucking weapon!”

He gritted his teeth, sword hand coiling around the hilt until his knuckles went white. There were still more than a dozen men left, waiting to attack. And he could already feel the burning pain from the poison entering his system. The cop just wished the reinforcements he ordered would arrive already. He needed to buy more time. And Tetsujin wasn’t really interesting in killing Gintoki. He only wanted him, after all.

Still, it was a hard letting go of his katana.

Though not as hard as seeing Gin paralyzed by fear.

“NOW!” The yakuza screeched, thrusting the gun violently into silver locks.

And so, his sword dropped. But the real threat was still there, burning inside Hijikata’s eyes like hellfire. He raised both hands to surrender.

With a diabolic grin, Tetsujin acted as fast as lightning. He didn’t intend to waste any more time. Rashly, he pointed his gun at the cop and shot.

 

 

A scream disrupted the heavy silence in the yard.

But it wasn’t Hijikata Toushiro who writhed in pain.

It was Tetsujin.

With tears in his eyes, he went down to his knees, holding his shoulder as his shooting arm was bent backwards and cracking under the angle. His arm had been broken and the weapon knocked out of his hand. It was a silver-haired teenager pressing his limb backwards and thrusting his shoe into the yakuza’s calf.

His eyes were bloodshot. “ _Shooting an unarmed man… you scum…”_

The drug dealer was screaming even louder as the silver head used his whole strength to kick his face into the ground. The henchman who had been taken care of Gin before was lying in a puddle of his own blood. The teenager gratefully took care of his sword, dropping down to one knee to reach for it.

“ _You all wanna fight…? I’ll give you a fight, you bastards…”_

Hijikata was holding his breath. Gin’s gaze was shrouded as if he was in trance. He wasn’t himself anymore. He was moving on instinct and buried fighting experiences alone, Hijikata knew. And it frightened him. For a moment, he didn’t know what to do.

“ _I will kill every last one of you_ …” Gin whispered with a diabolic smile and then rushed forward, hunting them down.

Cursing, the cop got down to take hold of his sword as well. And then he began to run. 

 

~ ~ ~

 

His whole body was hot, sweaty, steaming. He could feel a thick liquid running down his neck, his arms. A sour, metallic smell was in the air and his hair felt sticky. Suddenly, everything was so bright. As if a black haze had engulfed him, slowly scattering now. There was something in his hand. A sword? A strange sound coming from afar. Moaning, pleading, distant screaming. Gin shook his head to clear his mind. Where was he?

The last thing he remembered was… looking at that cop. He had his hands up to surrender. And then this drug dealer had been moving and… everything went blank. He must have blacked-out somehow. Now, he was standing in front of a corpse, blood dripping from the sword in his hand. And not just there. His whole white yukata was drenched in red.

Horrified, he let go of the sword and stumbled backwards. His head shot left and right in order to gain an overview of the situation. There was a deadly silence filling up the place. All around, there were men writhing in pain, lying in their own blood. It must have been two dozen. Every single one of them struck down or dead. He didn’t understand the real scope of what happened yet. He turned around when he heard someone wheezing.

The officer was on one knee, his sword thrust into the ground to help him keep his balance. As he leaned against it, blood was staining his vest and dripping to the ground. A wound on his head caused the black strands of his hair to stick to his skin.

He looked at him out of exhausted eyes, struggling to keep his balance. “Gintoki…”

The silver head instinctively moved, running towards him and dropping to his knees as well. Terror had his heart in its ugly grip and he made his pulse go out of control.

“Hey, you alright?”

He put his hand on Hijikata’s shoulder to support him, only to realize it got dyed in blood instantly. With a horrified look, he retreated a bit and scanned his body for more wounds. There was so much blood.

“…you hurt?” The cop whispered under his breath, clearly at his limit.

The sole question was leaving the teenager baffled for a second. He quickly checked, though, just to make sure. But as he padded his whole body, he couldn’t find a single scratch. So, he growled back at the policeman.

“Not as hurt as you are, for fuck's sake!”

“Hah…” He coughed and closed his eyes. “…’ll come… need to… here…”

“Can’t understand you, pal, so _stop talking_!” Gin was panicking a bit as he remembered the poison Tetsujin had spoken of. He didn’t know what to do! He didn’t even know the number of the ambulance, let alone where he would get a phone now.

“Uh…” Suddenly, Hijikata collapsed and fell forward. Gin could catch him in his arms in time and felt his heavy weight pressing against him.

Completely panicked now, he turned him around to see his face. The policeman was still breathing but seemed to have lost consciousness. The teenager shook him as if to wake him up. “Oi! Oi, oi, oi, oi! Don’t fucking die on me now, you shitty stalker! Don’t you dare! I’ll make you pay, bastard!”

His body was lifeless, and blood was still trickling out of his wounds. Gin was trembling uncontrollably now, feeling his heartbeat going crazy.

_“Open your eyes, dammit!”_

 

~ ~ ~

 

The panting got worse with every step he took.

As he entered through the automatic door into the sterile lobby, he almost felt his strength fade altogether. People were staring at him in shock, hiding their terrified gasps behind their hands. Blood was dripping down on the white floor, staining his clothes and feet. When he finally saw the woman behind the counter running towards him with an alarmed look, he couldn’t take it anymore. His weak, shaking legs gave in and he dropped to his knees.

The woman helped him secure the man he had been carrying on his back, taking the unconscious policeman into her arms. Other people were already flocking towards her and she screamed something at someone. Gintoki didn’t really hear what it was. He was too tired to take in anything else. The sound around him was drowned out by the raucous beating of his heart in his ears. His gaze rested on Hijikata, who wasn’t moving anymore, just lying there as if he was mocking him. Gin’s lips pressed firmly together. He tightened his fist.

The nurse talked to him and for some reason, he answered. He didn’t even think about it, words just poured out of his mouth. She asked him about Hijikata’s injuries and he told her the ones he remembered. She asked for his state and he told her about the poison. Then she asked him about his own injuries and he just shook his head.

All of this happened unconsciously as if he wasn’t in control of his self anymore. His conscious mind just stared at the policeman getting stripped of his jacket and vest. He was being taken care of now. There wasn’t anything else he could do. This guy would be fine. This guy would be fine. Would be fine… fine...

As Hijikata’s body was put on a stretcher, Gin finally breathed out. His eyelids dropped, and he felt the strength leaving his body. The nurse was beside him, supporting him with a hand on his shoulder. She talked to him, but he didn’t respond anymore. As if his unconscious self had submerged again. He tried breathing normally, trying to calm down. Carrying this guy to the hospital had really sapped all of his strength. Lucky that he had known the way. Why, he couldn’t answer anymore.

The nurse started patting his body now, checking if everything was okay. He opened his eyes and saw blood everywhere. His hair, his white yukata was almost completely dyed in red. It made his heart shake in despair.

Everything after that seemed to happen in a flash.

He was taken to a small room close to the reception, offered a glass of water and checked by some doctor. They asked him a few questions he didn’t know the answer to. Then they said that the cop was being treated and that there was nothing left for him to do here. He should go home and wash the blood off of his skin. And that’s what he did.

When he returned ‘home’, he bumped into the China girl who was in shock seeing him like this. She was screaming at him, demanding to know what had happened. But he didn't answer, didn’t even glance at her. Instead, he walked into the bathroom, took some new clothes from the closet and locked the door behind him. The annoying girl was hammering against it, blaring at him to answer her. But he undressed, threw the bloodstained clothes into the laundry basket and turned on the shower.

As the hot water soaked his hair, he scrubbed clean his whole body. Blood was running down his shoulders and swirling into the drain. When it finally stopped, he climbed into the steaming bathtub and curled up into a ball, resting his head against his knees. His whole body was shivering, even in the heat of the water. He couldn’t stop himself from shaking.

Shit. Shit. Shit… shit…


	15. When people change a lot you realize the things you loved about them

## When people change a lot you realize the things you loved about them

There was a faint noise piercing his brain. He felt someone touching him, a well-known smell filling his nose. His body was heavy and numb, weighing him down. There was pain from time to time, making him stiff and uncomfortable. Some memories flickered in front of his eyes, but he couldn’t focus on them. Instead, he tried opening his eyes. It was too bright to see anything.

Gradually, his senses accommodated to his surroundings and everything got a bit clearer. There was someone calling him, a heavy weight in his lap and a bright light blinding him from outside the window. Then he heard his name, stifled by tears.

“Touushiiii!”

When he finally managed to open his eyes, the first thing he saw were big brown eyes and a face drenched in tears. His oldest friend and commander cried dramatically and softly shook him as he grabbed him by the shoulders.

With all his remaining strength, which wasn’t much, he pushed him away and covered his mouth because the shaking made him sick. Kondou let go and sniffed, brushing away his tears like a little child.

“You’re alive! I’m so relieved!”

“Ugh…” was all the officer could reply. His head swirling, he looked around to get a better overview of the situation. He was in a hospital bed, an intravenous drip on his left hand and bandages around his arms and torso. A green hospital yukata was keeping him warm. Through the open window, the sun of a high noon streamed in and the chirping of birds filled the room with a pleasant sound. Hijikata held his head for a second and tried recollecting his memories. The blanket on his legs was way heavier than it ought to be. He felt so weak.

“How are you feeling? Does it still hurt? Should I get you anything? You need anything, Toushi? Do you need help going to the bathroom?” His superior was in full mother-hen-mode now and fought back more tears.

An annoyed grunt from behind him, as a blond man chewed his gum. “Don’t overdo it, Kondou-san. You shouldn’t dirty your hands helping this guy wipe his ass.”

“Sougo!” Kondou yapped at him, tears welling up again. “Don’t be so cruel! I’d also wipe your ass if you were that injured!”

“I’ll pass.” The second in command closed his eyes, irritated. “Besides, assholes as stupid as this one don’t need your help, Kondou-san. If he can’t even wait for backup, he deserves to suffer.”

“Sougo! Don’t say that! You know he couldn’t!”

“Just saying.” A bored shrug. “He got what he deserved. He should be grateful he even survived. And here I was almost celebrating his funeral already.”

Before Kondou could react to that, Hijikata finally opened his mouth, glancing at his two colleagues. It was still hard to see and talk. “What… happened?”

Now, it was Okita who came towards the bed and stared at him in his usual sadistic and bored manner. “You fucked up splendidly, _Toushi_. That’s what happened.”

“Soug-“

“You didn’t wait for us to arrive at the scene and you didn’t manage to catch _anyone_.“ The blond young man didn’t tolerate any interruptions. He raised his voice and seemed genuinely pissed. Though, he concealed this behind his usual jaded look. “Thanks to you, we’re back to square one. We didn’t find their storage, Tetsujin got away, the rest of his henchmen dead, no one left to interrogate. Just because you thought you could play the hero all by yourself, huh?”

“That’s enough now!” Kondou stood up and shot him a warning glare.

 

“Tsk.” The youngest Shinsengumi officer rolled his eyes and walked across the room to fold his arms while leaning against the wall once more. “Getting injured like this. What a pathetic Vice Chief. Hurry up and put me in command already, Kondou-san. Then we wouldn’t have this mess.”

The Shinsengumi commander looked at him for a moment but didn’t respond. He knew that was how Sougo expressed his worries about Hijikata, but he couldn’t stand for it. For now, he ignored that, though, and sat back on the chair beside his friend’s bed. The black-haired man looked down and had heard every word, slowly processing everything in his head. Kondou wanted to help him with that.

“Toushi. You’ve fought well yesterday. Unfortunately, Tetsujin and some others got away and we currently don’t know where they are. But that shouldn’t concern you right now. You suffered a few wounds, but the doctor said none of them were life-threatening. The poison knocked you out, but they were able to intervene fast enough, fortunately. You’ll have to stay in bed for a while, but we’ll make sure you’ll have everything you need. Leave the rest to us.”

A soft nod, as to indicate he understood. He looked really worn-out, dark rings under his eyes, pale skin and an absent aura. Kondou was thankful he couldn’t see how bad he looked.

“…what about him?”

His friend tried to smile. “He’s well and uninjured. Don’t worry about him.”

“Tsk, and probably is on the Yakuza's wanted list for life now.”

Another warning glare to Sougo, before Kondou put his hand above Hijikata’s arm to reassure him. “Everything’s fine, Toushi. Don’t worry. We know you did your best and I trust your instincts. I know you assessed the situation correctly.”

A second soft nod and Hijikata closed his eyes, breathing in deeply. Kondou offered him a glass of water, which he thankfully emptied. His head was still swirling, but it got a bit better.

After a long moment of silence, the blue-eyed man raised his voice. It was low and croaky. “…Tetsujin set a trap for me. He knew about the Yorozuya… and me. …I don’t think he arranged for all of this, but he was prepared when I entered the stage. I couldn’t recognize most of the faces, but Tetsujin was injured. He probably has a broken arm. They had old Amanto guns, so I doubt that they’re well stocked with weapons right now. …That makes me guess that they’re mostly an independent group with very loose ties to their supplier.”

He didn’t need to give a report, but none of his comrades stopped him. They gave him the time he needed to speak. The painkillers slowed down his speech patterns a bit.

“…That being said… I think they might go after him again… Tetsujin didn’t seem interested in killing him, but… seeing that he killed a lot of his henchmen, I think he might be in danger.”

“We’re already keeping an eye on him. So, don’t worry, Toshi.” Kondou assured him with a smile.

The implied _thank you_ was barely tangible. He only managed a soft nod.

“Really, you shouldn’t worry too much.” The Shinsengumi commander patted his shoulder. “Just focus on resting for the time being. We’ll take care of everything. We won’t let anything happen to the Yorozuya. And we’ll definitely catch those guys. So just relax, Toshi.”

Hijikata couldn’t smile, couldn’t stop worrying. Just by how often his commander repeated those words, he was already suspicious. But it wasn’t like he could do anything right now. He was way too weak to move.

 

 

A knock on the door made all three men look up. A young voice sounded from the corridor as the door was hesitantly pushed open. “Sorry for the intrusion!”

Shinpachi entered with a polite smile and raised his hand holding a plastic bag with some gifts. “Is it okay to enter?”

There was an expression of genuine disbelief on Hijikata’s face, while Kondou waived him closer with a smile. “Ah, Shinpachi-kun! What a nice surprise! Come in, come in!”

Hiding his worry behind a smile, the young teenager entered and politely nodded towards everyone. A red-haired girl trotted along behind him, seemingly in a bad mood. It didn’t get any better when she saw Okita and they exchanged challenging glares. But for now, none of them said anything. Instead, Shinpachi stopped next to the bed and put the plastic bag on the little nightstand.

“Hijikata-san. It’s good to see you still in one piece. We heard you’ve been hospitalized and wanted to check on you. Are you feeling okay?”

The policeman didn’t know what to reply. To say he was surprised to see the two of them here, was a gross understatement. He really didn’t expect that. Eventually, he managed to say something. “Ah… I just woke up actually…”

“Oh, we’re just lucky then. In that case, please be sure to rest and get well soon!”

“…Thank you…”

Shinpachi smiled and even though he tried his best, one could see he was struggling with putting on a carefree face for everyone. “We also brought you some things that will help you get better in no time. I made you my grandma’s special recipe. She always said, if you eat three spoons of it a day, you’ll heal twice as fast!”

“Oh Shinpachi-kun, you’re so considerate! Such a great young man! Just like his sister. Caring and gentle. Hahahaha!” Kondou was laughing too, just a bit over the top. He desperately tried to lighten the mood, encouraging Shinpachi’s carefree chatter.

“…tha-thanks…”

“No need to thank me, Hijikata-san!” The teenager smiled. “Of course, we’ll look after you. You’re like family to us now. Don’t worry too much! We’re here for you.”

This moved him, and he could feel his chest growing lighter for a second. They were so sweet. He didn’t know they considered him family. It really warmed his heart. But he still couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. And he longed to see Gintoki’s face. But he didn’t dare to ask about him.

“Wow, this is great, Toshi! The Shimura siblings are so wonderful, ne?! So much love in their hearts. Thank you for taking care of our Vice Chief, Shinpachi-kun! We’re so lucky to have you!”

“Ah, please stop it, Kondou-san. It really is nothing. We’re just happy to help. You already have a lot on your plate and we worry about you.”

“No, no, no, no, no! Don’t diminish yourself, Shinpachi-kun! You’re such a wonderful young man! You’re growing into a fine man, aren’t you! You will be such a splendid samurai! You will make your late father proud!”

“It’s really nothing. We’re just here to help.”

“We appreciate your help! Right, Toshi? Right?”

“ _Shut up_!”

 

All of the sudden, Kagura barked at them and frowned. She wasn’t playing around. “Don’t try to lighten the mood, you idiots! It doesn’t work! Let’s just put the cards on the table.”

“Kagura-chan…” Shinpachi took a step towards her but didn’t manage in time.

She was staring at Hijikata instead, venting her anger. “Gin-chan didn’t want to come because he didn’t see why he should be. He said he doesn’t know you and you two have nothing to do with each other. I gave him a good beating, but he still didn’t wanna come. He’s a gigantic moron!”

“Kagura-chan!” This time, Shinpachi signaled her to stop.

“What? It’s true!” The girl spat back, obviously pissed. “Toshi wanted to know either way! And it’s just stupid pretending like everything’s fine when Gin-chan is being a total dirtbag!”

“Still, don’t be so blunt, Kagura-chan! You have to learn how to read the room!” The teenager ushered, but she wouldn’t listen.

“Gya, gya, gya! I’m just telling the truth. Gin-chan is being unreasonable and should be called out!”

“Well, he is still under the influence of the drug. So, you really can’t blame him for not wanting to see this mayo-freak’s face ever again.” Okita butted in from the sidelines.

And Kagura met him promptly with a shaking fist. “I don’t wanna hear anything from you, shithead! You were supposed to be his bodyguard, ain’t that right? And still, _this_ happened!”

“Oi, oi, oi! Don’t shift the blame to me. I was just doing my job. And sometimes, I also have to sleep. This is entirely Hijikata’s fault. He was acting rashly.”

“ _So, you’re admitting that you were neglecting your duties?!_ Who said he would take care of Gin-chan?!”

“Calm down, China. He might look like a teenager, but he’s still an adult, isn’t he? And I’m not taking care of someone just because some idiot thinks he’s in danger.”

“That’s literally your job! That’s literally what the police does!” She screamed, ready to fight him.

“Oh, shut up! If you would have taken care of him, none of this would have happened in the first place!” Of course, Okita was ready to face her, already taking a fighting stance.

“Right back at you, you dirty scumbag!”

“Nee, nee, nee! Please calm down, you two! Fighting will get us nowhere!” Desperately, Kondou tried to intervene.

As they were bickering on, Shinpachi was the only one looking at Hijikata. The black-haired policeman was staring into the void, not saying anything. The hurt on his face was clearly visible and Shin could feel his pain. That’s why he didn’t want Kagura to tell. He knew it would only hurt him. Seeing the proud man like this really stung. If there was a way, he would have liked to cheer him up, to reassure him in any way. But the truth was, that Gin didn’t want to see him. That he had said even nastier things. There was nothing he could do.

And it really sucked.

 

~ ~ ~

 

He still looked horrible.

As he was watching himself in the mirror, he grimaced. The dark shadows beneath his eyes were still apparent and his skin looked a bit sunken in. It was better than two days ago, but he still looked like shit. He could move just because he was so stubborn and because he didn’t want any help from the nurses. The humiliation of needing help in the bathroom really didn’t fit his proud character. Walking still hurt, but it was bearable, and nothing compared to the pain he had suffered three days ago. He had been through worse injuries. Only the blood loss and poison had made things complicated.

Clumsily, Hijikata washed his hands and face and dried them off with the towel. It was dark outside already. The sun had set an hour ago and all of the patients went to bed. He didn’t need the drip anymore, had switched to painkillers instead. His wounds were healing fine, but he still needed a lot of rest. It was hard to relax, though, knowing that Tetsujin and his drug dealers were still at large. It wasn’t like he didn’t trust Kondou-san and the others. But he wanted to join them, wanted to help them. Being chained to this bed made him feel even more like a dead weight.

He turned off the lights and opened the door to enter his room again. It couldn’t be helped, could it? He just needed to focus on resting for now. And maybe it was good that he didn’t see Gin in the meantime. Maybe it was good that he just sat out the time Gintoki was under the influence of this drug. Everything would be easier, once he returned to his normal self, right? He just needed to wait… It wasn’t like this guy wanted to see him anyway.

But still, he wanted to _see_ him. To _see_ if he was fine. To _see_ if he was doing okay. He missed him. But he just had to wait. Hijikata wasn’t in any position to decide anything right now.

 

As he walked out of the bathroom and closed the door behind him, he saw a silhouette standing near the window.

For just a split second, he readied himself for combat. A rush of adrenalin flashed through his body and made him raise his fists. As he got a better look, however, he stopped in motion and slowly lowered his hands again. His jaw dropped a bit and the words almost slipped through his swollen throat.

…Gintoki?

There was a young man dressed in a simple blue yukata leaning against the window, arms folded, silver perm glowing in the city lights drifting in from the outside. He almost couldn’t see his face in this darkness, but the lacking bloodlust reassured him who was standing at the other end of the room. This realization made his heart drop. Was this real? Was he dreaming? Was he really here?

It took Hijikata a full moment to better make out his face. In complete silence, the two men stared at each other, waiting for the other to make the first move. The cop could see Gin’s hardened face now. He wasn’t showing any emotions, but his aura felt strangely reserved. It made the officer feel uncomfortable.

Not knowing how to handle the situation, Hijikata clenched his fist. Should he say something? But he didn’t even know why he was here. Sneaking in after visiting hours and waiting in the darkness on top of that? How the hell was he supposed to know what that meant? He didn’t want to mess things up even more. So, he decided to play his part and chose the coward’s way.

Wordlessly, he walked over to his bed and sat down, back facing towards the Yorozuya. He hoped this distance between them would make things easier. But it didn’t. It was still unbelievably hard to say anything. The lump blocking his throat slowly cut off his oxygen supply.

Closing his eyes made it a bit better. He struggled against his own body, trying to say something. _Anything_. He couldn’t bear this any longer. Finally, he opened his mouth. But before he could squeeze out even a single syllable, a sudden movement made him freeze.

A pair of arms curled around his belly from behind.

 

Hijikata felt Gin behind him, knees slammed into the bed, arms tightening around his chest, a strained breathing against his neck. His wavy hair was tickling him, as it grazed his cheek and ears. The sudden embrace caused a massive adrenaline rush, making Hijikata’s heart beat like crazy. The familiar smell of his boyfriend almost put him over the edge. He could feel his resolve waning, his body growing weak and his heart becoming vulnerable. A wave of loneliness and worry cornered him and took his breath away.

Paralyzed by this sudden gesture, the black-haired man didn’t react. For a few moments, neither of them moved. Gin’s grip only got stronger and more longing. The tension nearly crushed Hijikata’s heart. His breathing followed the silver head’s unsteady and strained panting. Only little by little their breaths calmed down and his hug lost a bit of its anxiety.

Gin’s unusual tense voice left a hot mark on Hijikata’s shoulder. “…Don’t ever do that again.”

Taken aback, the policeman didn’t know how to answer. His puzzlement was written all over his face. Hundreds of questions flashed through his head, but in the end, he couldn’t voice any of them. So, in order not to mess this up, he chose not to do anything.

The man behind him inhaled deeply and tightened the hug a little bit more. His words were shaky and full of regret. “…I’m sorry.”

It shouldn’t have been possible to surprise him even more, but yet, here he was. Hijikata gulped and closed his eyes, fighting against his own feelings, his own lonesomeness and longing for him. He told himself to pull himself together. He needed to be there for him now.

Finally, he managed to reply in a soft, but firm whisper. “Don’t be...”

His head moved, and the strands of his hair grazed his neck in doing so. “…No. …You’re here because of me. You almost died… because of me.”

Hijikata didn’t know how to respond to that. His lips opened but felt dry and sore. He closed them again and clenched his fist. What the hell was he supposed to do?

“…I remember…” Gin suddenly whispered. “…I remember you.”

These words cut so deep, it hurt. It really hurt. His head almost flowed over. For a few seconds, he pondered the implications. But in the end, he knew already. That he wasn’t himself yet. That this was still his drugged teenage version speaking. He wasn’t back yet. And this knowledge made him feel incredibly lost. He wanted to see him again…

“…Things keep coming back to me… Just piece by piece. …I’m sorry… for how I acted these past days…”

A disheartened smile. Somehow, with the realization of who he was talking to, words came easier. “…If anyone is sorry for how he behaved, it’s me.”

“No… I treated you unfair… and I’m sorry about that.”

“…You were drugged and lost your memories. …That’s really all there is to it.”

“…Even so… I just wanted to tell you.”

A weak nod was everything Hijikata could add to that. It was easier now to submerge his feelings. Still, his touch made him queasy. How could he feel so close and distant from him at the same time?

 

A sudden shiver took hold of Gin’s arms and made the officer flinch. As it grew into a tremble, he felt anxiousness creeping up inside of him. “What’s wrong?”

“…Nothing…” The silver head replied in a shaky voice, desperately trying to quell the tremor.

Now it was Hijikata’s turn to be concerned. Gently, he disentangled the strong grasp of his arms and turned around towards him. Gin was avoiding his gaze, hiding his eyes behind thick strands of silver hair. Seeing him like this in the darkness of the room, the policeman couldn’t help but feel unsure. His voice was as soft and undemanding as he could manage.

“…Did something happen?”

The teenager shook his head and smiled. The tremble didn’t stop, and he clenched his fist in frustration. “No... it’s just…”

“…just?”

His breath toppled over, and he gasped for air, being completely shaken by terror. Even in this twilight, the fear in Gin’s eyes was clearly visible and the hurt in his voice impossible to miss. His head dropped, and his voice faded.

“…I… killed them… all of them…”

 

Hijikata’s heart skipped a beat and he felt his stomach turn.

There was so much pain in his words. So much hurt that he could feel it as if it were his own. He didn’t know how to handle it.

Gin was trying to take a deep breath, suppressing tears. “…For a moment… I… I just blacked out. …I killed them without a second thought… as if something inside of me took over…”

The teen smiled again, and it was falling apart the second after. The distress in his posture was like a death sentence for the black-haired man.

“I know now that… this wasn’t the first time, but… honestly… it’s terrifying. …Knowing that I am capable of doing something like this…”

He couldn’t take it anymore. He just couldn’t.

Before the teenager could even continue, his boyfriend already moved. In the blink of an eye, he pulled him into his arms, drawing him into a tight hug. The younger man flinched and chocked for a second. But then his arms rose once more and clutched Hijikata’s yukata, burying his face in his neck.

He could feel him shivering, digging his nail into his shoulder. It hurt Hijikata’s injury, but that didn’t matter now. He almost didn’t feel it. The desire to hold him, to comfort him, was much stronger.

As the policeman held him tightly, he couldn’t help but wonder. Wonder, who this man was. Gintoki’s past self? A dormant memory? That wouldn’t make sense. Maybe he was the person Gintoki _could_ have been. Without the war, without his loss, without all this bloodshed. Or maybe he was a different personality altogether. One way or another, his words hurt. It hurt so much to hear him say it. He couldn’t help it. He wanted to protect him. He wanted to protect this version of Gintoki.

Protect it from all the shit this world was unloading on him. Protect him from his own, horrible past.

A ridiculous thought. And still, here he was, holding him in his arms. He couldn’t offer him more. No words of comfort, no explanations or promises. Only the gentle strength of his arms.

“I’m… I’m sorry for getting you in this kind of mess…”

For a moment, Hijikata tightened the embrace, softly shaking his head. “It’s alright now…”

That tore him up and hot tears were wetting the policeman’s yukata. He didn’t mind. He wanted him to feel safe. The weaker the young man got, the calmer Hijikata became. Instinctively, he knew he had to. In order to protect him. In order to give him strength. His protective instinct took over, way stronger than it had ever been. He just couldn’t help it.

 

For a long silence, both men united in a strong embrace. The room was still shrouded in twilight, the city lights dancing with the shadows on the walls. After a few minutes, the tears had dried and Gin’s breathing went to normal again. He still stayed in Hijikata’s arms, although softening his grip. Warily, he moved his head up a bit, lips grazing the officer’s neck.

He immediately shivered under that, getting goosebumps from the familiar touch. Gin’s scent didn’t make it better. For a second, he almost forgot _who_ he was holding.

“…Hijikata…” The whisper in his ear made it even harder.

His heart instinctively started pounding, when Gin moved his head to the side, tickling his neck with his silver locks. His body was a slave to his voice, to his familiar smell, bending to its will like butter to a knife. When his nose nuzzled against his cheek, Hijikata’s breath immediately stopped. He could feel his own pulse on his tongue, as Gin closed in to kiss him. Everything about this was so familiar, was so natural, so enticing. Hijikata longed for this touch, longed for his kiss. He missed him so much…

It was only when Gin’s soft lips bumped against his own, that he snapped out of it. While his body was about to lean in into the kiss, his mind made him retract. In the last second, Hijikata turned his head away, still feeling the prickling in his lips where his lover had touched him. His voice was a faint whisper.

“I’m sorry… I can’t.”

“…why…” The silver head’s words were just as hazy. He was still so close, not wanting to let go.

“…Because…” The policeman gulped and couldn’t look at him. Every inch more in his direction and they would touch again. “…no matter how much you might look like him… I feel like you’re someone else.”

That hurt. The despondency was tangible in his breathing, his finger, his voice. “…How can you be sure?”

A sorrowful smile appeared on the older man’s face. No matter how much they were alike, they were two different people. This version of Gintoki may have been his younger self, but he was a stranger nonetheless. He wasn’t the one the Vice Chief had fallen in love with. He wasn’t _his_ Gintoki.

“…Because I know.”

 

Suspenseful silence engulfed them for a seemingly endless moment. They were so close but yet felt the distance separating them. Felt the longing devouring them. It was unbearable. And yet, a hopeless smile appeared on Gin’s lips.

“…You really miss him, huh?”

There was no reply. Of course.

He could still feel the answer clearly in his touch. It made the silver head smirk.

“Well, that sucks you know?” Even though he felt the rejection cutting deep, there was also something else inside of him, consuming him. A soft, warm feeling from deep within. “…Knowing you love someone… and the other person doesn’t return your feelings.”

This time, the handsome cop looked at him. The uncertainty was apparent in his gaze, but he didn’t say anything. Somehow, Gin had to smile at that. Everything felt so weirdly familiar. He wanted to touch him, to raise his hands and run his fingers through silky dark hair.

“…It’s strange… I only just met you, but I feel like we’ve known each other for years. …Like we understand each other without words. …Everything keeps coming back to me… and all of these feelings are so _strong_. It doesn’t make sense, does it?”

He felt his boyfriend getting unsettled at that. The denial was impossible not to notice.

And Gin smiled, getting lost in blue eyes. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m serious. …It’s weird. …Falling head over heels for someone you just met? ...That doesn’t happen, right? But then… when I look at you, I _feel_ it. Every bit of it.”

Gin could feel the man getting tense and somehow, he found that amusing. But at the same time, the sadness overtook him, and he lowered his gaze. The yearning consumed him bite by bite.

“…These aren’t my feelings. These are memories. His memories… And yet, I can feel them as if they were my own. …I feel how much I love you. How much I want to be with you. How happy you make me. …It’s unfair, you know? Being such an in-between…”

By this time, Hijikata finally blushed. His pulse strangled him, and he tensed up even more. Was this really how that guy felt? Gintoki would never say any of this out loud. They both weren’t the types for that. And yet, he heard it from his own mouth, in his own voice. Hijikata felt like he was betraying Gintoki just by listening to this.

Gin laughed it off, shaking his head. “I get it. You’re his boyfriend. Not mine. I just happen to be in his body for the time being. …That sucks…”

The dark-haired man opened his mouth and reached out for him, stopping in the lasts second. In the end, he didn’t know what to say.

“…I’m nothing but a stand-in.” Suddenly, the teenager gulped and bit his lip. “…Soon, the drug will stop working and this guy will take over. …I will cease to exist, won’t I? …There won’t be anything left of me. …That just sounds mighty scary…”

There was movement, and a moment later, a hand was gently placed on top of his own. Hijikata’s strong voice was everything he needed. “…You won’t cease to exist.”

“Heh…” He had to laugh and close his eyes. “…And how can you be so sure, hm?”

“Because I know…” Hijikata reiterated and Gin thought he could almost hear a smile.

The smile on his own lips broadened and his chest nearly burst from all the love he felt. “That’s a really stupid answer, you know that?”

“Maybe… but I know that I won’t forget you. …And I know that you and him are the same… You just happen to exist in different times.”

“Well, that’s a nice way to put it.” Gin snickered softly and combed through his own hair. “…But even if that were the case… I don’t want to leave… I don’t want to leave just yet…”

For a long moment, silence surrounded them once more. Gin had a hard time finding his way, torn between those battling emotions inside his chest. Hijikata, on the other hand, seemed to be thinking. He didn’t mind, though. He enjoyed his closeness and the weight of his hand against his skin.

“…Let’s go out once I’m discharged from here.”

“What?” Startled, Gin rose his head and looked into steady blue eyes.

“Let’s go out. …We can do whatever you want. …I mean as long as it doesn’t involve sex or anything illegal.”

It took him a moment before he understood. But when he did, the teen started to laugh. “Really?”

“Really.” He was so stern, it was almost cute.

“Well, in that case, I can’t really decline, can I?” Smiling, Gin couldn’t refrain from running his fingers through dark hair.

Hijikata let him. It made Gin’s heart beat in delight. All of the sudden, his chest felt so full, so pleasantly warm. Something was moving, changing inside of him. He let it happen, not caring where it would take him. For this moment, he was just happy. All of the sadness, the fear, and the pain had faded. As if a heavy weight had been lifted off of him. He smiled and couldn’t stop himself. He placed his forehead against Hijikata’s and inhaled his scent, smiling like an idiot.

“Thank you…”

 

~ ~ ~

 

“Where the hell is he?” Kagura was noticeably getting edgy. She hid behind a large container, umbrella in her hand, body in a crouching position.

The harbor was quiet this night and only the soft swashing of the waved filled the cold air. On the other side of the path, hiding behind another shipping container, Okita Sougo sat and yawned. “Probably won’t come after all.”

“Grr, shut it over there. Gin-chan will definitely come!”

Just a shrug. “Maybe. Don’t forget he’s an annoying teenager now, though. So, don’t count on it.”

“You…” Kagura was clearly pissed already and Shinpachi tried to calm her down. He had spy glasses hanging around his neck in order to periodically check the activities in front of the large boathouse.

“Please calm down you two. He will come. He told us so himself, didn’t he? And now be quiet or else they might know we’re here.”

“Ugh.” The Shinsengumi officer sighed and closed his eyes, folding his arms behind his head. He was sick of waiting. It was in the dead of the night and they were expecting Kondou’s signal any moment now. His squad was positioned on the other side of the building, waiting for the meeting to conclude.

He didn’t like cooperating with the Yorozuya. But it had been the two of them who gave the crucial hint. And of course, they had been involved from the start. Naturally, they had just as much motivation to catch these guys as he had. He should be thankful for their help, he guessed. But he wasn’t.

Truth be told, Okita was tense as well. He wanted to act soon. He wouldn’t let them get away this time. He would give this Tetsujin a taste of _real_ police work. Messing with Hijikata was all nice and fun, but dragging _danna_ into all of this? If anyone messed with these two idiots, it was him. He wouldn’t share his prey. Not with dirty Yakuza at least.

A sudden movement made the three of them flinch. From the shadows, a silver head dressed in a grayish blue yukata jogged towards them, just a little out of breath. He smiled when he stopped. “Sorry for being late.”

“Where have you been?” Kagura yapped at him like an unnerved older sister. “We almost started without you!”

“Cut him some slack.” The blond officer teased. “He just snatched a goodbye kiss from his boyfriend, that’s all. You know, in case he doesn’t survive?”

“Don’t be so negative, Okita-san!” Shin screeched while Gin chuckled.

“A goodbye kiss would have been nice. But I got something better instead.”

“Woah, really?” Okita’s voice was monotone and pesky. “Don’t tell me he let you ride his ****.”

“OKITA-SANNNN!”

The silver head grinned and took cover. “Not yet, in any case. But once this is finished, I’ll take another shot.”

“How persistent.” The Shinsengumi member finally stood up, putting his hand on the hilt of his sword. “Let’s see if you can keep up with us in your current state then.”

A challenging grin, as Gin nodded and faced towards the storehouse. His eyes were glimmering as if something inside of him had awakened. “Let’s bring down this drug ring, shall we?”


	16. Sometimes change is for the best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter of the Teenage arc. The song for this chapter is “Golden Liar” by Bradio (take the official video). Check it out on youtube or wherever and enjoy it when it pops up :).
> 
> Summary: Love, fluff, comedy, more love, a little bit of smut, a lot of sadism and even more love.

## Sometimes change is for the best

 

A scream resonated through the halls and sent a chill down his bones. He didn’t care. Some part of him had taken over again, though this time he was conscious. And he enjoyed it. Way more than he should.

The face before him was distorted in pain and the body squirmed on the floor. The cast around his arm had broken after being crushed by a wooden sword. That alone had sent the man to the floor. All talk those Yakuza these days. Still, Gin couldn’t help but grin. A very vicious grin.

“Oi, oi! Tetsujin! Man, what a nice surprise! I didn’t think I’d see you again!”

Letting his bokutou rattle along the steel railing like a kid while approaching him, the Yorozuya tilted his head.

“You remember me, Tetsujin-kun? I was thinking of you day and night, y’know?”

The Yakuza stared at him in pure horror, gasping under the pain. “…Y-you!”

“Gin-san. Gi-n-sa-n. Dude, I can’t believe you forgot my name. How hurtful! Should I spell it out for you? Gin like in silver and -san like in the honorific. ‘s like really easy, man.”

Shaking his head, the drug dealer was scooching backwards. “P-please! Have mercy! It was a joke! Nothing but a joke!”

“Hooo?” Gin halted and placed his sword on his shoulder, tilting his head. “A joke? Well, I gotta tell you, man… You’re not very funny then.”

Raising his broken arm in a sign of capitulation, Tetsujin laughed maniacally. “I got it. You want money? No problem! I’ll give you money! How much do you want? Hundred thousand? Five hundred thousand? J-just name your price and I’ll get it!”

“How ‘bout sixty-nine million yen?” The silver-head grinned at him, sadistically. “If you don’t mind being indebted to a faggot, that is.”

“Sixty-nin-“ The mobster choked on the sheer number of zeros.

“Well, y’know.” All of the sudden, Gin’s foot crashed into Tetsujin’s leg, leaving him crying from the pain. “Twenty-three million for breaking your end of the deal…” Another well-placed kick into his stomach, pinning him to the ground. “Twenty-three million for ruining a months-long Police investigation…”

His grin distorted as he finally rammed his foot into the yakuza’s crotch, making him cringe in indescribable pain beneath him. “…And twenty-three million for attempted murder on a handsome officer.”

Tears in his eyes, he howled under the pain, coughing up words. “D-deal! I’ll do it! I’ll do whatever you want! Jus-just have mercy on me!”

“Really?!” his boot jammed itself in Tetsujin’s chest to trap him on the dirty tiled floor of the warehouse. “Man, you make me so happy, Tetsujin-kun~!”

“Ahhhh!” Crying in agony, his broken arm was partly jammed under Gintoki’s boot. The man with the tattoos was shaking now, begging for mercy. “I-I’ll give you more! Anything you want! Just tell me what you want!”

“Nah, y’know what? I think I’ll pass after all.” A throaty chuckle as he readied his sword. The fire in his eyes was ruthless.

“Between taking your stinking money and doing the right thing… I’d rather go on a date with my boyfriend.”

 

~ ~ ~

 

He had been forgotten.

It wasn’t like he was _expecting_ people to visit him. But not being visited at all was, well, kinda…

To be fair, Kondou-san had been coming by the last days. But that was like being visited by your mother. And if even your mother wouldn’t come to your hospital bed, who would? Besides, he was going on and on about the most trivial stuff. About how good Otae’s hair smelled and how funny the last games show was and how Kondou-san got his hemorrhoids checked out and their neighbor got new curtains and a bird pooped on his shoulder and one time he thought he had seen a five-legged dog but then it had turned out to be a normal dog with a very long tail… _No one cared about that, Kondou-san!_

The demonic Vice Chief didn’t complain out loud, though. He was too afraid to lose his last visitor if he did. Still, something was fishy. He felt like something was happening while he was rotting here inside his hospital bed. And with every day he got better, it got even more unbearable. He tried to get in contact with Yamazaki in order to find out what was going on. But that damn coward eluded him on purpose. The Yorozuya also didn’t show up anymore. Not that he expected them to. But he would have liked to see their faces after their big entrance four days ago. Not to mention Gin, who didn’t seem interested in him at all. Especially after his ‘confession’ three days ago.

And most irritating of all, Kondou-san always dodged his questions about the investigation. He always told him not to worry about it and that they would take care of everything. Hijikata knew he just wanted him to relax, but that sure as hell didn’t help. If anything, it made him even more worried. He needed to know what was going on.

Luckily, his wounds were healing without a problem. It still hurt whenever he walked or put too much pressure on it, but all in all, he was good to go. So, when he was released on this warm early Friday afternoon, he couldn’t have been happier. Finally, he would be able to work again and find out what the hell was going on. Of course, Kondou-san picked him up, like a mother would her rowdy teenage son after an accident. He felt ashamed but dealt with it. The main thing was getting out of here after all.

During the car ride, his best friend was rambling on about something again. The Vice Chief didn’t even listen anymore. He was getting edgy, felt the anticipation prickling under his fingertips. Once he would get hold of Yamazaki, everything would be over. He was sure he would get him to spill the beans. And his innards if anything bad had happened while he had been away.

Finally, they arrived in front of the Shinsengumi headquarter and Hijikata got out of the car more or less gracefully. Bending too much still stung and walking felt a bit weird. But he managed and lit a cigarette while walking inside.

“And then she said, she would rather cut her arm off than touching that ever again! Isn’t that funny? Isn’t it, Toushi? She’s such a cute woman, isn’t she?”

“…If you say so, Kondou-san.”

“I will go and buy her some flowers later! And some chocolate! Have you heard about this new shop in san-chome? You can buy sexy chocolate treats there. Maybe I should buy her a chocolate ****?”

“…I think that’s a horrible idea…”

“ _Really_?” He was way too surprised than he ought to be with this stupid idea.

“Who would eat a chocolate **** anyway?”

“Oh, Toushi!” His commander teased him, poking one elbow into his side. “I think we both know who would.”

He needed a moment to understand what he meant. Promptly, Hijikata’s face flushed and he snarled at him. “What the hell, Kondou-san!”

The brunet started laughing. “I’m sure he’d love that, wouldn’t he? Let’s go there together and buy some sweets for our sweethearts!”

“ _I’m not buying him a chocolate ****!”_

“Aww, come on! Are you shy? Is it that you’re just shy, Toushi? If you want, I can also buy you some when I’m there. What kinds does he like? Big? Small? Circumcised? Maybe one with soft spikes? Just tell me and I’ll get you some.”

What the actual fuck? Why were they even having such a discussion? He knew Kondou-san only intended the best, but what the hell? Face bright red, he stomped forward, closing his eyes. “I’m not telling you any of that!”

“Toushi, wait! I’m sure they also have strawberry flavor!”

Done with this whole conversation, the policeman shoved the door to the canteen open. “No! I don’t want to be involved with any chocolate-flavored genitals! Not even if it’s mayo-flavored! Let it go, Kondou-sa-”

 

“SURPRISE!” All of the sudden, confetti was raining down and three dozen people screamed at him. Hijikata Toushirou flinched and stared incredulously into the crowd. The whole canteen was filled with people, most of them wearing the Shinsengumi uniform. But there were also other faces he instantly recognized. Shinpachi and Kagura for example. And a silver-haired young man with a nice smile on his lips.

There was a buffet table and a banner on the wall spelling ‘ _Welcome back, Hijikata-san!’_ , though someone had added a badly written ‘ _to being a useless shit’_ below that. Yamazaki was the first to approach the two men with a big smile.

“Vice Chief! Welcome back! We’re glad you are okay!”

Kondou was behind him now, patting him on the shoulder, laughing as well. “Good to have you back, Toushi.”

Disbelievingly, he shook his head and frowned. “…What? What’s going on?”

“Well, thanks to your and the Yorozuya’s work, the rejuvenation drug is finally off the market. We got Tetsujin and his accomplices and arrested all of them. We did it!”

The crowd cheered, but Hijikata still grimaced. “You did what?”

Frightened, the Shinsengumi spy retreated a bit but kept his smile. “We-we used all of the materials you worked so hard on. And the Yorozuya had some intel which helped us locating their storage house.”

“…And you didn’t tell me…?” His gaze almost killed Yamazaki and the spy jumped backward as if he could avoid it that way.

“You’re welcome!” Kagura yelled at him, a bit huffy about his reaction.

“Sorry, Toushi.” The Commander still patted his shoulder. “We couldn’t tell you any of this or else you would have done something reckless. The Yorozuya helped us anyway, so we went behind your back. Don’t be mad, please. Everything went well.”

Hijikata growled but had already calmed down a bit. So that’s why nobody came to visit him? Because they were working the case? Damn these bastards… They could have at least told him…

 

“Let him be mad. ‘s not like he did anything to help us. We had to do everything ourselves.”

Out of nowhere, Okita appeared next to him. Hands buried in his pockets, bored expression on his face. “While we had to do all the hard work, he just laid on his fat, lazy ass being utterly useless. I mean, it’s nice that we celebrate our victory and all. But do we really need to include this bastard? All he did was getting shot in the ass.”

A throbbing vein, a twitching eye, and an annoyed smile. The holy trinity of the Shinsengumi Vice Chief. “What was that?”

Sougo just picked his ear and yawned. “Let’s just start this party already. I’m starving already. All the hard work I’ve been doing really tired me out. Would have loved to lay around all day being _useless_ instead.”

The dark-haired man grumbled, but it was Kagura’s voice that cut through the room. “Buffet ’s open! Out of my way!”

While officers were kicked to the ground left and right in order to make way for a little alien girl, Sougo shot his superior a last sadistic glance. “Come on, join us _Vice Chief_. You should be grateful, ya know? Being invited to our party even though you didn’t even do anything except wasting taxpayer’s money.”

Hijikata’s fist was raised but Kondou just hugged his best friend and tousled his hair. “Let’s eat and have fun, Toushi! We did it!”

Sulking, the policeman let it happen. He still couldn’t believe they had completely dumped him. But in the end, the only thing that mattered was that Tetsujin was in prison, he guessed. Even though he had wanted to be the one throwing him into the slammer.

The room quickly filled with a lot of chatter, laughter and some music being played in the background. They had even got a whole sound system including karaoke. On the gigantic buffet, all kinds of food plates were stacked on top of each other. Of course, most of it would probably land in Kagura’s stomach, but it seemed like even that was accounted for.

As Hijikata made his way towards the room, he was congratulated left and right. Most of his colleagues stopped and chitchatted with him, asking him about his hospital stay and telling him they were happy to see him. The canteen was busy, and everybody was having a good time. In between, he saw a young dark-haired teenager waiting for him. His smile was genuine this time.

“Good to see you’re feeling better, Hijikata-san.”

Gratefully, the tall man nodded towards Shinpachi. “Thank you. …So, you’re the ones who brought down the drug ring, after all?”

The teen scratched his head, a bit embarrassed. “Well, if you want to put it that way… We just asked around town and got a few hints. Also, we couldn’t let them do as they please. They’ve hurt two of our precious friends, after all.”

Really. Every time Shinpachi and Kagura referred to him as a friend, a little piece of him died. He didn’t want to admit how happy that made him. He cleared his throat instead. “…Thank you very much for your hard work, then.”

“No, no. Don’t do that, Hijikata-san. We’re happy whenever we can help.”

“WOAH! THERE’S SHRIMP!”

Shinpachi chuckled and scratched his head once more. “And I guess the food also played a factor as well.”

As he looked towards Kagura, who was excitingly stuffing her face with seafood, he had to smirk as well. “I think we rely on you Yorozuya too often, though.”

“Well, that’s what we’re good at after all.” Shin replied with a certain kind of pride.

And Hijikata couldn’t help but smile at him. His hand patted the younger man’s shoulder. “Well done, Shinpachi-kun. And… thank you.”

“Anytime.” He nodded and beamed.

For a moment, both samurai looked at each other with an abundant amount of respect. Then, the teenager grinned again ushered him to go.

“You should get something to eat, Hijikata-san. Kagura is a real glutton.”

“I suppose you’re right.” He returned the grin and nodded. “Please make yourself comfortable here. We’ll see each other later?”

“Sure! Thank you so much.”

 

 

After like ten minutes or so, Hijikata had finally managed to get some food. It was really quite an endeavor with all these people here wanting to talk to him, or wanting to poison him all over again. He had to firmly and ‘nicely’ reject a plate Sougo especially prepared for him. Even after that, getting untainted food was quite a challenge. But luckily, the sadist had engaged in open combat with a certain Yato girl at some point and that had been his chance to finally sneak away with some dango.

While the two of them were carrying out their feud at the karaoke machine, the Shinsengumi officer walked through the crowd to the other end of the room. Covering his dango with a dangerously thick layer of mayonnaise, he was looking for some peace and quiet.

Instead, he found Gintoki.

When he saw the silver-haired man standing at the end of the buffet line, his heart was skipping a painful beat. His reddishly brown eyes were already locked on him, a small grin decorating his lips. He was wearing his usual getup consisting of his white yukata with the blue swirls and the back clothes underneath. The only difference was, that both sleeves were up. He actually looked proper this way. Not as lazy as when he had one arm outside. The sight alone made his pulse go faster.

“Yo.” Was the only, amused answer.

Hijikata didn’t have a choice. He stopped in front of him and eyeballed him from head to toe. Gin somehow looked… older. Did he get a haircut? His aura also changed. He seemed way more self-confident. It made him kind of fidgety.

“’m glad to see you’re doing fine.” Even his voice sounded more mature. Or was he just imagining things now? ”‘Was actually worried about you, y’know?”

Hijikata grew a bit tense. His chest was tingling. What was happening? He hadn’t turned back, or had he? This was still his drugged self, right? He looked a bit younger still and the way he wore his yukata... Still, did his personality change? He sounded much more like his true self now. Hijikata was hesitant. “…How about you?”

“Oh, I’m doing fine.” Gin flashed a smile, a _very_ charming smile. “Great, actually. ‘ mean, I was basically able to rocket-punch this Tetsujin bastard into prison.”

Hadn’t he just been horrified by violence a few days ago? Did he reclaim more memories? Or did he gradually get back his real personality? Sadistic side included? “…So… you were also there?”

“There? ‘ was basically the leading actor, man.” Gin chuckled, leaning his head to the side. “’Should have seen them. Running away like babies when they saw me. Didn’t really have to do much, actually. ‘Guess, I’m just too scary.”

Hijikata gulped. He was sure Gin hadn’t yet fully returned to his original state. And yet, something about him was so familiar, so damn enticing. He instantly felt attracted to him again. He didn’t even understand why. But something in this silver-head’s smile, his scrutinizing gaze, his arrogant demeanor really flicked a hidden switch inside of the policeman’s body. All of the sudden, he was _nervous_ around him.

“I… I see…”

“Don’t worry. Sou-kun was a great bodyguard. And Shin-kun and Kagu-chan were also making sure I wasn’t hurt. In turn, I made sure these yakuza bastards were getting hurt _just_ enough for them not to die.”

Maybe it was this sadistic side he was attracted to? Was this why his fingers and stomach were starting to tingle? _Was he a masochist after all_?!

The scrutinizing gaze and the cocky grin completely turned his world around. “In any case… you owe me a night out. Remember?”

“I… um…” It wasn’t like he was blushing. But he was completely flustered, not being able to withstand all the buried feelings blasting to the surface now. “…yes…?”

This time, Gin came closer. Way to close for the tattered policeman. “How about we have some fun then? We have all day, right?”

Being so close to him really sent his pulse flying. Completely stiff, he opened his mouth only to reply in a croaky voice. “…I… guess… we could do that.”

“Tight.” Clearly enjoying his position, he reached out to him, but instead of touching his skin, he took a dango from his plate. “I’m looking forward to spending time with my _boyfriend_ then.”

Teasingly, Gin opened his lips and slowly put the mayonnaise drained dango stick into his mouth. With a seductive glance, he deliberately curled his lips around the rice balls and removed them from the wooden stick with his tongue. The sexy grin as he walked past him, really was the last straw.

Hijikata was left behind trembling. His head was overheating, and he could feel the arousal spiraling through his whole body. He could hardly breathe, let alone think. The only thing he could picture in his head was Gin eating mayonnaise dango.

What the hell. _What the hell!_

“Hijikata-san.” The officer seriously cringed when Okita appeared behind him, hands coiling around his shoulders like a demon. His grin was vicious. “You know, danna technically isn’t a minor anymore. So, you can go ahead and **** his brains out.”

Red as a beet, Hijikata was basically steaming now. _Ahhhhhhh_!

 

~ ~ ~

 

This was a disaster.

How did things turn out like this? How could he have ever predicted this 100% turn in just a few days? How could he possibly say no now? For some reason, he was completely defenseless against him. Completely powerless against this twenty-something version of Gintoki, who was bragging _nonstop_ about being the Vice Chief’s boyfriend. He was literally going to everyone in the room, telling them they were a couple. It wasn’t like they didn’t know already. All of the Shinsengumi knew. So why was he even bothering telling everyone? Was it sadism? Was it juvenile pride? Or was it because of something else?

Hijikata was embarrassed. Not only by Gin rubbing it in everyone’s face. But also because some part of him was enjoying it. Enjoying being called his _boyfriend_. Over and over again. The very word out of his mouth made his heart flutter inside his chest. God, he was so broken…

Most of his subordinates just smiled politely, some even had fun talking with Gin about their superior. And some _special cases_ talked endlessly about their relationship.

Sougo and Gin must have talked twenty minutes or so about him, knowing fully well he was forced to listen. It wasn’t like Hijikata could do anything about it. He couldn’t find it in his heart to tell Gin to shut up. It was as if he had some kind of puppy license now that he was drugged. So, the unfortunate cop was forced to listen as these two sadists made fun of him.

The hardest thing about it was that Hijikata almost enjoyed it. Not in that kind of sense, he wasn’t a total M. But, in some weird way, it gave him the illusion that everything went back to normal again. He heard, though, that Gin wasn’t fully back being his old self yet. He couldn’t even explain it. There was something in the words he used, in the way he talked and the jokes he made, that told him. Still, he couldn’t help but listen. Watch him talk, move, open his mouth. It had a strange fascination on him.

Hijikata blushed ashamed as he realized what he did. Is that what being a stalker must feel like? Was that how Kondou-san felt when he watched Otae? God, what was happening to him… He had been so cool once…

Neither being able to leave Gin’s side nor to say no to him, the policeman had resorted to alcohol. Not much, just a little bit. But he just couldn’t take this sober. This way, he could also claim the constant red shimmer on his cheeks was because of the beer. Smart. Veeeery smart.

 

Hijikata was just sipping his flat beer, as Okita took another swing at his pride. The three men were standing at the edge of the party, everyone with a glass of beer in his hand. Okita was leaning against a table, munching some yakitori while clearly having a blast with his favorite sadist.

“That’s not how I would put it, _danna_. I mean, he is a Taurus, after all, isn’t he? So, he’s very possessive and jealous. You’ll get into a fight about that eventually. Soon, your honeymoon period will be over and then you’ll dump his sorry ass.”

Gin had his arms folded and sneered at him, clearly amused. “Well, but Taurus are also down to earth, patient and dependable, man. And that’s what I value about him. You’re only seeing his bad sides, Sou-kun.”

Not even looking anymore, Hijikata hid his face behind his hair and beer. His pulse was going faster every time Gin said something nice about him. It was like a small addiction. He just couldn’t turn away.

“Not to mention they are generous, so I’ll keep him around for his money for a while.” The silver head chuckled.

Well, most of the time anyway…

Grinning, Okita cheered to that, staring at his superior next. “Well, I can get behind that. That guy doesn’t know how to live anyway. Always saving his money and only spending it on cigarettes and mayonnaise. I guess, in that sense, it’s good that you teach him how to have fun. Maybe he will even turn into a cool person because of you?”

“Nah, probably not, mate. But he’s fine the way he his, isn’t he? I like idiots.” Gin followed the blond man’s lead and looked at Hijikata as well. “Especially handsome ones like him.”

The cop felt their gazes and shivered a bit. His head was so warm, his chest stinging so much. Why was he so bashful all of the sudden? Why did he feel so woozy every time Gin threw a compliment at him? Or rather: since when was that guy so charming? It wasn’t the first time he said something like that. But somehow, this time it almost felt like he meant it. Not intended as a tease or a joke. As if he was genuinely flirting with him. Hijikata really didn’t know how to handle that other than blushing non-stop.

“I wouldn’t agree on that, but as you please. Since when are you so nice to him anyway?” The blond swordsman grinned. “Look at what it’s doing to him. Standing over there, head flushed and not saying anything. You’ve broken him, danna. He’s like a declawed kitten. Or did he maybe finally accept his fate as an M?”

“That’s called growing up, Sou-kun.” Gin joked. “And leave him be, man. He promised me he would be nice to me from now on. He can’t say no to anything today.”

“ _Oh really_?” As expected, Sougo’s grin was diabolic. He chuckled as he planned his next move. “How interesting.”

Hijikata feared the worst. He couldn’t walk away, however. Somehow, he just couldn’t leave Gin’s side. As if he had put a spell on him. Maybe he was the one being drugged now?

“So, what’re gonna do with this situation, danna? Got anything planned?”

“Huh, what do ya mean, Sou-kun?”

“Well…” Sougo suddenly came closer, leaning against the table Hijikata sat on. He bowed his head a bit just to intrude his private space. “I mean if he can’t say no, then that’s your chance, right? Surely, there are things you two haven’t done yet. Danna, you’re such a dirty sadist. I can’t imagine the only thing you want is Vanilla Sex, ain’t that right?”

His superior growled at him. Just because he was not reacting to any of Gin’s shenanigans, didn’t mean he would let this guy get away with anything. He shot his ‘friend’ a warning glare. “That’s none of your concern, Sougo!”

But he just grinned even dirtier, tittering. “Or is it… you’ve already done all of the dirty S&M stuff to our sweet, sweet Hijikata-san? Tied him up? Spanked him? Shoved a **** up his ass?”

“Sougo!” Angry now, he grabbed his collar and roared at him. Why the fuck was he always trying to humiliate him like this? “I swear, I’ll kill you if you say one more word!”

 

His smirk was triumphant. At first, Hijikata didn’t understand why. But then he felt Gin on the other side, getting way too close. His voice was low, as he touched his partner's thigh, letting his fingers run quite close to his crotch to keep him in a sitting position.

“Oi, oi, Sou-kun. Are you flirting with my boyfriend? I’ve gotta tell you, man. Taurus aren’t the only ones who get easily jealous.”

Promptly, Hijikata held his breath and felt the arousal return into his body. What the fuck! Why was he reacting like this? And why was Sougo grinning like he had planned that all along? He was gonna kill him!

Gin didn’t let that happen, though. He put his other arm around his boyfriend’s back and pulled him a bit closer. Hijikata immediately got more defensive, loosening the grip on Sougo’s clothes just a little bit. He couldn’t let go, even though it was very weird to have these two sadists _this_ close to him…

“Flirting with Hijikata-san? I would never, danna.” He was clearly enjoying the situation unfolding like this. “His mayonnaise is all yours. I was just wondering if you’re making the most of his promise. I mean, you have _so many_ possibilities.”

“Well…” Now, Gin was nudging his nose against his lover’s neck and let his hand slowly move up his leg. “…unfortunately, he said no sex. Even though I’d love to eat some mayonnaise, to be honest.”

_Just calm down already, Toushiii!!!_

The black-haired cop was close to breaking down. He felt the constant tremor of arousal rocking through his body and making him shiver. Gin’s smell was so strong now and his voice was seriously killing him. This was too much. He nearly burst from all the suppressed emotions. What the fuck was happening? Was he messing with him? Was he even still drugged? Was he already his real self, pretending to be drugged? He was doing this on purpose, right? When the hell did he learn to press his buttons like this?

Shivering, almost giving in on the temptation, Hijikata’s head instinctively turned around a bit. He couldn’t let go of Okita, though. He feared he would lose control for good if he did.

“Hooo?” Sougo’s grin was exultant. “You sure about this, danna? He certainly looks like he’s ready anytime.”

Before Hijikata could hiss at him, Gin was already biting his neck, slowly working himself up to his jawline. “I don’t understand it either. I mean, I’m probably only a few years younger than him now and regained most of my memories. It wouldn’t be cheating, right? …And there’s so much _other_ stuff we could do…”

Oh no.

Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no! Hijikata’s heart began racing and his eyelids immediately dropped a bit as he instinctively turned his head towards the silver head. He felt the arousal pressing hard against his yukata and was about to lose control. He wanted to kiss him. He really wanted to kiss him. To drag him into his room and make out. Just a bit… just a little bit…

Hijikata’s fist tightened around Sougo’s collar and he felt a tremor rocking through his spine as Gin was softly humming. His lips almost touched his mouth now. His hand was sliding under the policeman’s yukata, excited for what was waiting underneath.

“Get a room you two.” Okita chuckled and seemed entertained.

“How about you get lost already, Sou-kun?” Gin smirked at him, letting his fingertips run over Hijikata’s rips to make him shiver. “We’re kinda busy here.”

“Would love to if your boyfriend would finally let go of me.” Sougo grinned. “Or is it you two actually want me to join you?”

“Sure.” Finally, Gin bit Hijikata’s lip and grabbed hold of his whole length under his kimono, making his boyfriend flinch in arousal. “If you can keep up with me that is.”

And with that, Hijikata’s other hand shot up, grabbing silver locks, dragging him closer in a flash. But instead of lips joining together in a craving kiss, the heads of two sadists were smashed together in a single fierce motion. A terrifying roar struck them, as Okita’s and Gin’s foreheads crashed together violently.

“ _Leave me the fuck alone, you freaking sadists_!”

 

Shoving them out of his way, the Vice Commander jumped up and stormed off. The two men stayed behind, stars dancing in front of their eyes. As they scratched their heads and got up again, Okita was chuckling.

“Ahh damn. You almost had him.”

Gin was moaning under the pain and curled his lips in disappointment. “…Man, so close…”

Clearly amused, the blond laughed. “Well, that was fun. I didn’t expect him to last this long.”

“You clearly underestimate my charm.” The silver head smiled and sighed thwarted. “…’ Think we teased him too much with the last one.”

“You didn’t have to play along, though. In the end, he’ll think you were serious.” Testing, Okita scrutinized him with a challenging smile on his lips. “Or were you?”

This time, it was Gin’s turn to laugh. “Sorry, Sou-kun, but I won’t share him with anyone. And besides, you’re really not my type.”

“Because I’m too handsome?”

“Because you’re too young.” The Yorozuya chortled.

That surprised him, and he grinned at him. “Right. And I guess every S needs an M, right?”

“What are you going on and on about that, man? ‘s really not that important. He can be just as much an S as me, y’know. You should see him being a top, man. He’s way sexier than you give him credit for.”

As happy as Okita was to get so much information from this careless version of the Yorozuya, there was a limit to what he wanted to know. “Honestly? I’d rather not picture him as a top. As much as I love torturing him, I really don’t swing that way.”

“You sure?” Gin jested. “I think you’re really overly interested in our sex life, pal. ‘ Sure you weren’t the one being tempted just a minute ago?”

An amused chuckle. The silver head certainly got more and more himself by the minute. It was almost impossible to distinguish him from his real self now. “Not interested, danna. Especially not with this Mayo freak. But if you ever make a sex tape of him as an M, be sure to send it to me. I’ll make a fortune out of it.”

“If I had a sex tape of him being bottom, you’d not even be able to steal it from me, mate. Because I’d be watching it 24/7.“

Pleased that he had reclaimed his sadistic buddy, the Shinsengumi swordsman crossed his arms. “Good to have you back, danna.”

Silver locks danced as he chuckled and took a swing of the beer Hijikata had left behind. “Don’t tell him yet. I want to tease him _juuuust_ a bit more.”

 

~ ~ ~

 

Hijikata was ashamed. He couldn’t look any of his colleagues in the eye. If they would have known what he did in the bathroom, then… His head shook as if to chase away the thought. It wasn’t like he had a choice. He had to do it. Otherwise, his boner would have seriously bothered him for the rest of the night. Better finish it off soon so these two sadists couldn’t tease him anymore. That had been his reasoning and honestly, he still stood by it. He didn’t want to risk it. He had to clear his head and subdue his urges, so he couldn’t be exploited anymore.

The dark-haired swordsman was used to being harassed by both of them like that. But this time they definitely went too far. First of all, he would never do anything like that with Sougo. This guy was a goddamn child, a solid ten years younger than him. Hijikata had basically always been like a big brother to him, though a reluctant one. He wasn’t attracted to him _at all_. Also, one sadist was enough. If two sadists were going at him at the same time, he would die. _Literally_ _die_.

Second of all, he didn’t want to do it with Gin as long as he was drugged, no matter how tempting this was. That felt just wrong and cheap. Though, by this point in time, it got harder and harder to say if he was still drugged in the first place. He wondered if Gin himself could tell. Since it seemed like he was gradually becoming his true self again, it must be hard to assess when the process had actually stopped. How would he know, when he had completely regained his memories? How could anyone know when the drug stopped working completely?

All of this gave him a headache. He didn’t want to think about it anymore. There were more important things at hand. Like how he would actually survive this evening. He somehow needed to evade Sougo while simultaneously not offending Gintoki. He couldn’t even retreat to his room to relax. They would find him… He wasn’t save anywhere…

Erasing his presence as much as he could, the policeman hid in the uttermost corner of the room as he got back. From time to time, he mingled with the crowd, using their movements to hide in plain sight like a ninja. It worked, for the most part. For the longest time, he actually had some peace and quiet.

By now, people were taking turns at the karaoke machine. Not too long ago, Kondou-san had given his best rendition of ‘Every breath you take’ by ‘The Police’ – a fitting tribute to his stalker tendencies. But he guessed, in his head, Kondou really found it romantic. Hijikata stood by it. No meant no. However, sometimes he thought he was the only one who believed in that…

After this disaster, Shinpachi had taken over, singing songs of Otsu non-stop. As he wanted to start the third song in a row, Kagura had finally kicked him through the room, ending everyone’s pain. Instead, the red-haired alien girl started singing some popular songs Hijikata hadn’t even heard of. The screen showed some young girls dancing, so he figured it was from some kind of idol group. He had to smile at that a bit. They sure were lively, to say the least.

For some reason or another, the Vice Chief managed to get something from the buffet. There wasn’t exactly much left, but he was able to sneak away some gyoza and some sushi onto a plate and into his mouth. As he ate in silence, he could see the Yorozuya and Shinpachi standing together a little bit further away. Gin was leaning down to his friend’s ear and whispered something, it seemed. The glasses boy flushed promptly and gulped, finally nodding slowly. The officer had absolutely no idea what that meant. And honestly, he didn't want to know. He turned away fast enough to slip out of his boyfriend’s vision.

At the other end of the hall, Okita and Kagura were having a fierce karaoke battle as they sang “Anything you can do, I can do better” together. It ended, of course, with them fighting over the score and them trashing the karaoke machine for good. After that, music was playing instead. People around him were already quite drunk and started dancing, or rather swinging their beers through the air while singing along. It must have already been pretty late, but Hijikata didn’t have a watch right now. He was just happy no one spilled their drinks on him.

Then, out of nowhere, he appeared.

“Hey, sweetheart.”

Hijikata shivered under the voice whispering in his ear. Someone curled his hands around his chest from behind, drawing him into a tight hug and kissing his neck.

“Wanna dance?”

 

Instantly, the demonic Vice Commander blushed, feeling his heart tingling and his chest tightening. He really wondered what the fuck was wrong with him today. Every time this man touched him, he melted like butter.

“…I’m… injured…” He fumbled for an apology. He still couldn’t say no to him. Not to this version of Gintoki, at least. He had promised him, hadn’t he?

“Ah, pish posh. A little dancing won’t kill you, honey.” His hot breath brushed against his neck and a feathery kiss was placed on his jaw.

Hijikata’s head flushed and he glanced around. Luckily, no one looked at them. “I can’t dance. Dance with someone else.”

“I’ll show you then.” All of the sudden, the dark-haired man was swirled around, and Gin snatched him into his arms, pressing him closer towards him. A dumb smile was on his lips and his eyes were blinking. His breath reeked of alcohol. “It’s really not that hard.”

“…You’ve been drinking too much…” Hijikata tried pushing him away softly, not wanting his colleagues to see them so close. He felt his pulse accelerating being so intimate with him. “…You’re still a minor, so show some restraint…”

The handsome silver head snorted, not letting him get away. “I’m _not_ underage anymore, sweetie. I know what I’m doing.”

God. Something about him being so cocky really turned him on. Feeling his raging pulse prickling his fingers, the Shinsengumi officer didn’t give up. He struggled against him, though half-heartedly. “…I’d rather not.”

“Come on…” Gin was holding him tight, nudging his nose against his cheek and ear, pulling out all the stops. His voice was so sweet and charming, he could impossibly be his true self. “I just want to be close to you. Is that too much to ask?”

Defeated, his boyfriend looked away. He wasn’t able to resist him when he was like this. Damn it at all… It was because he was still drugged. Otherwise, he would have already kicked him across the room…

The current song faded into a growing silence, as the Yorozuya pulled him even tighter. He was just about to bite his ear when the next song started playing. With a passionate _uh!_ the singer began shouting and the bassline set the rhythm for dancing. Hijikata knew that song, though not by heart. It was _Golden Liar_ by that funky band _Bradio_.

All of the sudden, Gin beamed, and his smile brightened up even more. “Oh, I love that song! Let’s dance, Toushirou!”

“What?” He replied incredulously, but it was too late.

Gin had already dragged him to the dancefloor and swung him around like a doll.

 

The red shimmer on the Vice Chief’s cheeks was glowing as he was tossed around in his boyfriend’s arms. People were staring already, laughing and cheering them on. Gin seemed to take that as an incentive and moved around even wilder. His right hand was tightly intertwined with Hijikata’s fingers, while the other curled around his lower back to keep him close. The Yorozuya was making sure their bodies were always touching each other and somehow, he even managed not to stumble over his feet. But the worst part wasn’t even the closeness, or his nice smell or the fact that they were dancing. The worst part was the broad, overjoyed smile this idiot had on his lips.

It made Hijikata’s heart fill up with endless love.

He didn’t know what the heck the silver head was dancing, but it seemed to be like a botched-up freestyle version of a waltz. The Shinsengumi officer was internally screaming but couldn’t usher a single voice of protest. Not with Gin smiling like that. Not with him calling him by his first name. He was so weak to his lover’s touch, it was ridiculous.

The tipsy laughter of his boyfriend vibrated through his bones. “Come on, honey! Move your feet a bit more!”

Cheeks flaring red, his quietly hissed at him, not being able to relax at all with all these people watching them. “Sh-shut up! I’m trying!”

Another laugh and Gin’s nose nudged against his, his messy locks tickling him in doing so. “You really are a horrible dancer.”

“Oh, _bite me_!” The dark-haired man cussed and tried shoving him away.

But Gin didn’t let that happen. Instead, he bent him over backwards, like in a tango. A low, sexy chuckle rumbled through his throat as a bit his lover’s neck. “Like this?”

Head flaring from embarrassment now, Hijikata Toushirou let out an inaudible scream. When he saw Okita with his camera, shamelessly taking pictures from the sidelines, he almost choked to death. As the adrenaline rushed through his body and he wanted to screech, his paramour already moved again, whirling him around in unison with the bassline. He started to become dizzy by all this movement and his overheating head gave him a headache. Desperately, the cop screeched at his overexcited dance partner, but he just smiled his stupid lovely smile and nudged his face against his like a cat.

By this point in time, the Mayonnaise enthusiast’s pulse was almost getting louder than the music. He felt all these emotions coursing through his veins, entangling in a deadly, confusing mess. There was shame, embarrassment, frustration, craving for revenge, dizziness, exhaustion, sickness and the pain from moving around too much. And worst of all the feeling of falling even harder for this crazy bastard.

Damn it at all…

As the song finally came to an end, the proud policeman found the strength to shove his lover away and lean against a table. Glad for the support, he squatted down a bit and held his side.

“My injuries…”

Behind him, a silver head just laughed. “Already out of breath? We haven’t even started, babe!”

“Do some dirty dancing next!” shouted someone from the sidelines and there was no doubt about it who it was.

“Oh, that’s actually a great idea.”

Begging for mercy, Hijikata tried getting away to escape the grasp of these two sadists.

_He needed more alcohol!_

 

~ ~ ~

 

“uhh….”

His head hurt. Like _. A lot_.

Dizzy and a bit sick, he tried opening his eyes, but it was futile. He couldn’t see a damn thing.

Defeated, he stopped moving and kept his eyes closed. Instead, he concentrated on breathing, clearing his head. God, why did he have such a hang-over? How the fuck did that even happen?

He tried recollecting memories from the day before. It came to him only in tatters, incoherent strings of events. He remembered the two sadists, the karaoke battles, the dancing. Did Kondou start dancing as well at some point? Did Sougo really breakdance? Probably not. That was too much of a stretch.

Another grunt and he managed to raise his hand, clumsily rubbing his face. His injuries hurt a bit. He needed some water. At least it was quiet. Everyone else was sleeping, probably. Hijikata took another shot at opening his eyes. It was bright around him, late morning already. He stared at a Japanese style wall with a simple lamp. His other hands started fumbling the futon. Something smelled strange, different from what he was used to. A nice smell.

Slowly, he turned his head to the side and looked at the other parts of the room. There were a simple Japanese cupboard and a scroll on the wall reading “Sugar Intake”. What? He was at Gintoki’s? Why? And how did he even get there?”

A third grunt and he decided not to care. At least, Sougo wouldn’t bother him here. The cop turned around to lay on his side and closed his eyes again. He wanted to sleep some more.

 

It was at that moment, that he felt something move beside him, getting closer. The heat of another body pressed itself against his back and an arm was swung around his waist. Half asleep, Hijikata smiled and enjoyed the hug from behind. He loved cuddling, sleeping in with Gintoki. Occasionally. On his day off. If they had some privacy. Which was basically never.

Almost falling asleep again, Hijikata searched for his hand, intertwining their fingers in a soft embrace. The relieved, pleased sigh came out naturally. Gintoki’s smell was so nice, he automatically relaxed.

“G’morning.”

The soft, masculine voice seeped into his heart like honey. His headache was only half as bad now.

“…morning…”

A deep chuckle and he felt a nose nuzzling his neck. “My God, you’re just like a kitten. So tame and cuddly.”

“…hrm…” was the only reply. He would have slid back to sleep if the other man wouldn’t have pressed on.

While his nose moving up his neck towards Hijikata’s jaw, his free hand was cupping the cop’s behind in a nonchalant urgency. His voice was a haughty tease. “My, my. What’s wrong, Hijikata-kun? No reply from my little _honey_? Did I really tame you yesterday, huh? And here we didn’t even do anything. You should really stop drinking when you obviously can't hold your liquor, _baka_. Want me to spank you as a punishment? You know, I’ll do it.”

Just little by little, Hijikata realized the little differences. Like his voice and brashness, the underlying sadism or the choice of his words. And with every second, he became more and edgier.

“C’mon, Vice Chief-san. You’ve slept long enough on my futon.” He whispered into his ear. “Damn leech…”

 

And just like that, Hijikata Toushirou’s pulse was _exploding_.

Eyes wide open, he spun around just enough to look at him. When he saw Gin’s face looming over him, garnished with a cocky smile, he felt like the world came crashing down on him. He held his breath, couldn’t believe it. He was drowning in vermillion eyes.

“Oh? Finally awake, are we?”

A hard gulp blocked his throat and all of the sudden, he felt all of it. The disbelief, the longing, the fear, the regret, the embarrassment, the shock hitting him like a bat. Was this really it? Was he…

The silver head’s smile softened a bit and looked down at him like he was the most enticing thing he had ever seen. “Made some breakfast. Want some?”

It was hard to say if he shook his head because he wasn’t hungry or because of the disbelief strangling him. But at that moment, the handsome police officer raised his hands and buried them in silver locks, dragging him down in a single, longing embrace. And when their lips finally crashed together, Hijikata felt a warm wave rushing through his whole body, immersing him from head to toe. It felt like an accumulation of all the wonderful things he had ever experienced in his whole life. Gintoki’s lips tasted so sweet, were so soft. So unbelievingly soft.

They were the best thing he had ever touched in his entire life.

He couldn’t let go.

Holding his breath, he kissed him with all he got. However, the longer he touched his lips, the weaker he got, melting under the taste he had yearned for so long. The headache had seized, but the policeman still felt dizzy. Still, he ran his fingers through silver hair, softly grazing his temples and cheeks as he struggled for air.

The deep chuckle rumbling through his lover’s body didn’t make it any better. “…Missed you, too.”

He couldn’t’ help it. He smiled. No, he chuckled as well, closing his eyes defeated. It didn't matter. His pride didn't matter. He was so freaking happy he was back.

Now, it was Gintoki’s turn to stroke his temples. His boyfriend's smile was contagious. For a long moment, both men pressed their foreheads together and just inhaled each other’s scent. There was no need for words. All their feelings were conveyed by just a single touch.

 

 

For the longest time, they stayed like this. It was the purest form of bliss, the most comfortable silence they had ever shared. Undemanding, their lips met again and slowly exchanged tiny, soft kisses. Gintoki was humming in approval, making himself comfortable above him without touching his boyfriend’s wounds. Amazingly enough, the silver head didn’t initiate anything, didn’t seem to have any dirty thoughts. He just wanted to savor this moment as innocent as it was.

His black-haired paramour, however, was easily swayed by all of the bottled-up emotions and urges, he had carried around for an entire week. It felt like a month. With every kiss, the policeman felt more and more feelings tickling his stomach, making his abdomen warm and fuzzy. He couldn’t help it. His hands, his tongue got more demanding, pulling him closer into a deep kiss. It felt so good. Way better than any amount of Mayonnaise in this world. It was like an addiction. And he was willingly offering him his heart.

Hijikata was not playing around anymore. His tongue was moving alongside Gintoki’s with a silent, but clear intention. He let his thumb run back and forth over the Yorozuya’s throat in unspoken encouragement as if asking for permission. And it was granted as Gintoki was getting serious as well until it was hard to hold back for both of them. Yet, their hands were very tame, still focusing on each other’s faces and upper bodies. Gin because he didn’t want to hurt his injured partner, Hijikata because he didn’t want to push things too much.

However, when Hijikata softly bit his lover’s lip and started to move his erection against his body, Gin broke their ridiculous foreplay.

He smiled under his strained breath. “You know… I told Shinpachi to take care of Kagura… The whole apartment is completely empty, and I closed the shop. So…” Gin returned the bite. “…we’ve got all the time in the world.”

In return, he got a wordless answer, as Toushirou’s hand wandered downwards to his chest, belly and finally his crotch. When he got hold of Gintoki through the fabric of his pajama yukata, his own bulge was pulsating in fierce anticipation.

Approving, Gin was humming and imitating his boyfriend’s movement. He very carefully stroked over Hijikata’s yukata and the skin it laid bare. As he grazed his hardened muscle, he could feel the man below him tremble just a bit. It elicited an amused smirk, but he kept his teasing comment to himself this time.

Instead, he started caressing him and kissed him anew, more eager this time. As they were making out, Hijikata didn’t move much, letting Gintoki take the lead. So, he took extra good care not to strain is wounds. Warily, he started to undress the man on the floor, loosening the _datejime_ holding his charcoal kimono together. When he brushed away the fabrics, exposing his bare chest, he let his gaze wander across the policeman’s body. Bandages and patches were still covering part of his flesh and scars adorned the other parts.

For a short instant, guilt flashed through the silver head’s eyes, but he pushed this feeling far away. Instead, he enjoyed the sight and traced a finger down from his collarbone to his navel. Hijikata didn’t let him have his way for long but dragged him down into a kiss again. He was growing impatient.

Gintoki was clearly enjoying it but didn’t want to lose control. He let himself be taken in by the dark-haired man’s fiery embrace, growing breathless in the process as well. Even though Hijikata didn’t move much, his actions didn’t lack impact. He curled his fingers around Gin’s neck, holding him in position, so he could bite his lower lip and battle with his tongue. The other hand was readily exploring Gintoki’s body, grazing his erection whenever he had the chance.

The excitement in his voice was easy to catch, as the silver head breathed into his ear.

“Can I ride you?” He whispered.

A soft nod, boiling under his arousal. “…yes.”

Thrilled, Gintoki started moving, kissing Hijikata’s hot mouth first, then slowly trailing down his muscular torso, enjoying every inch of him under his tongue. With a skilled movement, he undressed while working his way to his boyfriend’s boxers.

As he pulled the piece of cloth down his legs and nibbled at the skin beside his hip, Toushirou winced in pain.

“Sorry.” Gin hesitated for a second, not sure if his hung-over boyfriend was feeling well.

“No,…” He exhaled, and his breathing rattled a bit. His eyes fixated him in a wordless reassurance, implying he wasn’t hurt. “…go on.”

A content smile, before the silver-head buried his erection gleefully inside his mouth.

 

The relieved moaning, he elicited by taking in his full length, was sweeter than chocolate. The fingers burying themselves in his messy curls were only fueling his desire to continue. The way he said his name with such sweet and desperate urgency, was more than he had ever wished for. Gintoki was ecstatic. He wanted this bastard to know how much he had missed him. He wanted him to know how much he appreciated what he had done, for both him and his teenage self. He wanted him to feel everything. To let him know what this meant to him.

Tasting him like this again really turned him on. It was easy preparing himself while hearing his distressed moans, longing for him and him only. Truth be told, Gin wanted this. He didn’t need it, but he wanted it. Wanted to see the way he looked when he was about to cum. Wanted to release the pressure they had built up since the day before. Wanted to make him his and his alone.

Putting on a condom and lube on this hot policeman’s cock was a real treat every time. He was just about to sit on him, when Toushirou pulled him down to his face, kissing him in puffing misery. Gintoki had to chuckle at that. Really, this guy was so soft. It was ridiculous.

Not letting him take this from him, Gin slowly sank down on his lap until he could feel his full length inside of him. It hurt a bit at first, but he didn’t mind that much. A sexy moan shaking his lover's body made up for it. Gintoki was smiling, pressing forehead against forehead and started moving. He could hear Hijikata’s voice toppling over, bursting from all the emotions he kept hidden inside of him. His hand wandered over Gin’s cheek and throat, holding him like he was drowning.

“Gintoki…”

 

 

When Gin started moaning as well, a strange feeling nestled in her heart. When he began moving faster and throwing back his head in ecstasy, she was almost bursting over. The adrenaline rush destroyed her body, making the blood drip out of her nose. She had to cover her mouth so that it wouldn’t trickle down on the floor and expose her.

The ninja with the violet hair had fallen asleep in the ceiling vent above Gintoki’s room. More of an old habit, than an actual attempt to spy on him. And now, she had been woken up to _this_. And she didn’t know what to feel. It got only worse the louder these two men groaned. She couldn’t avert her eyes. Especially not from the sight of Gintoki’s aroused face. When Hijikata took over and started working on his erection, making the silver head shiver and moan in delight, even more blood shot out of her nose.

She just couldn’t help it. She would never have guessed what seeing Gin having sex with a man would turn her into.

_Wow. That was so hot!_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this concludes the Teenage Arc. I hope you enjoyed it. I certainly did <3
> 
> I will most likely commission someone soon to draw a scene from IchigoMayo and I need your help!
> 
> Which scene would you like to see in color? I’m having a hard time deciding. Leave your suggestion in the comments!


	17. Once you’re used paying with credit card, you’ll start spending way more money than you have

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Kagura-Hijikata special! <3  
> I just love Toushi being a stepdad.

## Once you're used paying with credit card, you'll start spending way more money than you have

“Toushii.” Her big sky-blue eyes were looking at him in a mix of innocence and sternness. “I need your help.”

It wasn’t so much the fact that she asked him a favor but rather the fact that she stood in front of his room inside the Shinsengumi Headquarter. Her lackadaisical gaze was adorning her cute face as she tilted her head and sighed like it was a pain in the ass to come here in the first place.

The diligent Vice Commander looked at her in utter surprise, sitting on his work table and shuffling around some papers. It was his day off duty today, but he still couldn’t help it. He wanted to work. Especially since he had been hospitalized for a week just a while back. He couldn’t stand Sougo’s constant teasing anymore, reminding him what a ‘lazy ass’ and ‘useless policeman’ he was. But now, as the young teenager with the red hair stood in his doorway, he couldn’t help but focus his attention on something else.

Befuddled, he eyed her and tilted his head as well. “…My help?”

An annoyed grunt and she walked in just like the insolent girl she was. She didn’t care for Earth’s strange ideas of authority or hierarchy. She just waltzed into his room and stopped in front of him, her face signaling the pain she was going through.

“Yes. I need to borrow some money.”

That gave the cop an uneasy feeling in his stomach. As much as he loved his boyfriend, this guy really needed to pay his kids. He felt bad for them. Hopefully, they weren’t starving because this guy couldn’t get his shit together. If she was coming to him, she must have been really desperate. Edgy, the dark-haired man let go of the pen he was holding and scratched the neck of his dark kimono. He was hesitant but not defensive.

“How much?”

Kagura just shrugged and averted her gaze, as in embarrassment. “Not much. Just enough so I can get this piece of shit a birthday present.”

Oh.

Oh right. Gintoki’s birthday was coming up.

He smiled just a little bit and tried to lighten the mood. “You sure you really want to? If that guy can’t even pay you a salary, are you sure you want to spend your money on him?”

She pouted and took the bait. “’s not that I want to. But you damn Earthlings really celebrate your birthdays, right? He’ll get sad if I don’t get him something. And I live with that guy. ‘Don’t wanna hear him bitch about this until the end of the year.”

Hijikata was happy that he could read the girl a bit better now. Even though they still had quite a distanced relationship. But he liked her. She triggered his natural protective instinct. Smiling, he just shrugged and turned back to his papers.

“Do some handicrafts then. It’s free and comes from the heart.”

“I’m not in kindergarten, y’know?” Kagura replied unnerved. “And besides, I’m bad at stuff like that.”

“So, you really want to borrow money just to get him a gift?”

“Just a bit.” She was scratching the tatami with her foot. “I’ll pay it back, I promise.”

As if she had to. Hijikata would never ask a teenager to pay back money when he had a steady income. Especially not if said teenager was suffering under an irresponsible adult like Gintoki. He turned towards her again and fumbled for his wallet.

“Ok, fine then. Take whatever you want.”

As he handed her his wallet, she hesitated. Looking at him in an uncomfortable silence, she seemed to struggle with words. The dark-haired man paused as well, not quite grasping the whole meaning of this situation. He had been sure she would leap at his money without a second thought.

Eventually, she cleared her throat and blushed a bit. “I also need some help choosing his gift.”

 

What?

Suddenly, Hijikata gulped and understood what she was getting at. She wanted him to join her? Why? She knew this guy better than anyone. So why him? He didn’t understand.

Blushing a bit as well, he shook his head. “I… I’m not sure I’d be of any help.”

“Doesn’t matter.” She got grumpy. Seemed to be her coping mechanism as well. “I don’t wanna go alone and you’re the only person I can ask.”

Really, he was completely taken aback. Kagura wanted to go shopping with him? For Gintoki’s birthday present? With _him_? He would have never expected that. He really didn’t know how to react.

“But… what about Shinpachi-kun?”

Now, she got furious. Her glare was both embarrassed and impatient. “I _said_ , you’re the only one I can ask! You really think you can refuse, Toushii? You know why I’m always having to sleep over at other people’s homes recently? It’s because you two homos have been super lovey-dovey for a while now! You know how irritating that is? Being kicked out of your own apartment just so your dads can make out? ‘s not that I’m not willing to give you two some space but I _live_ there for God’s sake! So, you owe me one, Toushii!”

And just like that, his head flushed.

Oh dear, she was right. He really had been intruding their personal space a lot lately, hadn’t he? Damn, it was embarrassing being called out like that. Not being able to look her in the eye, he cleared his throat. “S-sorry. …I’m sorry.”

“So, you’ll go shopping with me?”

It was not like he had a choice.

 

 

Half an hour later, both of them were taking a stroll along the busy shopping street.

It was a warm day, even though it was autumn now. Kagura was browsing through the goods of some stalls but it was mostly _omiyage*_ and some super expensive souvenirs. Somehow, she didn’t look too pleased. Hijikata was feeling weird. Uncomfortable, he was smoking cigarette after cigarette and was mostly staying out of the teenager’s way. He didn’t know what she was looking for, after all. It was not like he was a big help when it came to a gift for the Yorozuya. He was still struggling with his upcoming birthday, after all. From time to time, he answered Kagura whenever she showed him something but somehow both of them were uncomfortable with that. This just felt so weird.

Finally, after the tenth omiyage booth, the alien girl grunted in frustration. “Goooooood, why is this so hard?!”

 _I feel you_ , he thought but didn’t answer. Instead, he still kept his distance, eying her. “I really don’t think you have to put much thought into it. What was his present for your birthday?”

She pouted as if a horrible memory haunted her. “A toothbrush and a pack of tampons.”

Hijikata shivered. This guy was such a horrible guardian. “So, get him something equally awful.”

For a moment, she went silent. Something was bothering her, wasn’t it? The policeman didn’t pry, though.

“Do _you_ already have a gift for him?”

“…No. Not really.”

The teenage girl eyed him, and he was blushing just a little bit under her scrutinizing gaze. She wondered if he lied or really didn't have one yet. She opted for the latter. Sighing, Kagura turned around and started walking again, crossing her arms behind her head.

“I wanna get him something nice. So that he’ll feel guilty and will get me something real for my next birthday. Besides, I don’t wanna sink to his level.”

Good point. He took a drag and closed his eyes. “So, what were you thinking of getting him?”

“Honestly, no idea.”

Man, that was hard. Though, Hijikata was tenacious by nature. So, he was dead-set on helping her achieve her goal. “Let’s go to the mall, then. Maybe we’ll find something there.”

Her face brightened just a bit and she nodded in excitement. “Can we have cake as well?”

“Sure.”

“Ahh~! You’re the best, Toushiii!” As she was cuddling up to his side, he froze for a second. People began to stare, and he began to sweat. He just hoped he didn’t look like a sugar daddy preying on a little girl.  Fortunately, she quickly pushed him away again and pinched her nose. “Urgh! You reek of cigarettes!”

 

Once they were inside the mall, Kagura instantly got more cheerful. Maybe it was the lack of sun or the cool air from the air con that returned a smile on her face. Gleefully, she told him to carry her umbrella and darted off towards the shop windows. Hijikata just sighed and craved a cigarette. Smoking wasn’t allowed in here, though, and he didn’t want to go to a smoker’s room. Damn those new laws protecting innocent people from second-hand smoke…

The man with the olive-brown hair looked around. He hadn’t been inside a mall for ages. He wasn’t exactly the shopping type and in the Shinsengumi, he just needed to ask, and others would buy the things he needed. The rest he could get in supermarkets and shops. Besides, he felt like he was getting too old to enjoy things like this. But being here with Kagura was fine. Especially since she seemed to be enjoying herself.

As he watched her staring at girly stuff in the window of a jewelry store, he couldn’t suppress a bittersweet smile. She was probably lonely, wasn’t she? And he guessed Gin didn’t take her out shopping often. Damn that guy was messed up. He needed to take care of his daughter and make sure she could buy the things she wanted.

Somehow, Hijikata felt the urge to cheer her up.

“Toushii!” She was waving him closer and pointed at a tiara. “How about this one?”

He couldn’t refrain a grin. “Would suit him perfectly.”

“Right?!” She chuckled. “He’s such a drama queen after all.”

“How about this one?”

When the cop pointed at a golden necklace with a cute strawberry in a whipped cream hat, Kagura had to laugh out loud. “Perfect!”

Relieved, Hijikata buried his left hand inside his kimono. He was happy they could bond this way. The sugar freak didn’t deserve anything else. But then again, Gintoki would probably actually enjoy these presents. “Maybe we should pierce his ears? Look at all these earrings in the shape of dessert.”

“Those are really cute!” She gasped and scowled the second later. “Too cute. If I can’t have cute things, then he can’t either!”

“Do you want to wear those?”

“Nah.” She pouted. “I’m not the type for jewelry. Gets in the way when fighting.”

“You’d look cute in it, though.”

Shocked, she stared at him and almost choked. “Urgh… are you hitting on me, Toushi?! What would Gin-chan say?!”

“O-of course not!” He took one step back, panicking.

Giggling, she poked him with her elbow. “Haha, I know you’re not. But thanks anyway.” For just a second, it looked like she blushed, a small smile on her lips. “You’re sweet.”

Not saying anything, he stared down at her. She was cute alright. Like the little sister, he never had. Before he could add anything, however, she already walked to the next store. “Toushii! Look, look! I think I found something for Gin-chan!”

 

~ ~ ~

 

“Come on, Toushi. Pleeeeeeease!”

She started to whine and the sound she made was insufferable. His fist was shaking, and he clenched his teeth. _He didn’t want to._

“Come on! We can only be sure if you do it! You two are so similar, it will work! I promise!”

He didn’t want to. _No!_

A few teardrops appeared in her eyes and she sniffed. “You’re cruel, Toushi. This way, I’ll never find a gift for him…”

Damn it at all!

With a deep, dissatisfied growl, he snatched it out of her hand and disappeared. Kagura, in turn, started to dance and clap. Worked every time. Men were such hopeless losers. Grinning, she shouted at him behind the curtain.

“You’re gonna look amazing, Mayora!”

Two minutes later, he shoved the curtain of the changing booth open with unnecessary force. Grunting, hiding, eyes closed, he didn’t dare to come out of the booth. “Not. The. Right. Size.”

And all of the sudden, Kagura started snorting with laughter. Her body was convulsing, and she held her sides as the tears came. “You look breathtaking, Toushi!”

The demonic Shinsengumi Vice Chief was wearing a pink shirt with a cupcake on it. The shirt was way too small. It looked as if someone put children’s clothes on a bodybuilder. The cloth ended at his bellybutton and right at his armpits. Hijikata’s head flushed and he yelled at her, yanking the curtain shut again.

“Just get me a bigger size, for Heaven’s sake!”

“Aye, aye!” It was hard for the teenager to stop laughing. She somehow managed to throw two other shirts over the curtain into the booth. “Try on the strawberry milk one next!”

Her wish was his command and a few seconds later, he opened the booth again. This time, he was wearing an eggshell-colored shirt with a cute carton of milk on it. All-inclusive with a face, sparkles, and glitter. Hijikata’s face was peeved because the shirt was too tight again, even though it was the right size.

Suppressing her laugh, Kagura nodded now, scratching her chin. “Hm, it looks great. But something’s off, isn’t it?”

“That’s because it’s a woman’s shirt!” The cop growled and stayed inside the changing room. If Sougo saw him like this, it would be his end.

“Ah, poppycock! Gin-chan won’t mind.”

“I’m sure he will! I can’t even move in this thing! As soon as I raise my arms, this thing goes up!”

“That’s because it’s sexy!” Kagura chuckled again, not being able to resist. Hijikata looked hilarious in this.

“Sexy my ass! Is that how women’s clothes are designed? You can’t even move properly without showing off skin!”

“Well, welcome to our world, Toushii.” The _schadenfreude_ in her voice was obvious.

“This won’t work! We may be the same height but we have different body types, you know? He’s heavier than I am.”

Now it was Kagura’s turn to show her sadistic side. Her grin was devilish. “Is that so? Well, how would I know? I’m not the one seeing him naked on a regular basis.”

“Kch…” His head reddened, glowing almost. “That’s not what I meant…”

“Oh, really?” She chortled, clearly enjoying the high ground. “So, he’s more muscular than you? Is that what you want to say? Do you like muscular men, Toshi?”

Swallowing all the insults and curses dwelling inside of him, he dragged the curtains shut once more. Kagura’s cackle sounded through the whole shop and mocked him relentlessly.

The third time, it took longer for Hijikata to come out. Kagura was growing impatient, looking at other shirts now. Most of those she liked were indeed for women. But some of them were pretty wide and without any frippery. This boutique was a real gold mine for trashy clothes. And honestly? She was convinced Gin-chan would actually like them.

“Ok, last one.”

When she turned around, she was quite surprised. The shirt actually fitted him. Not just size-wise. It was white with pale blue stripes on the sleeves and waistband. The cute little print of a pink parfait adorned his chest and below パフェ was written in pink letters. A few stars with happy faces made the design perfect.

 

It took a short moment until Kagura beamed. “I’ll take it!”

“You think he’ll like it, huh?” Hijikata’s face didn’t show any emotions anymore. He had accepted his fate.

“What’s not to like? It says ‘parfait’ and is white and blue! It’ll absolutely suit him!”

“Well… then I’m happy.” That this was over, he meant.

“Should we get one for you, too?”

He almost choked on that, quickly disappearing inside the booth again. “I’m good, thank you.”

She chuckled happily and hollered. “Yaaaay! Let’s eat ice cream next! Toushii, come on! Let’s get ice cream!”

 

He didn’t mind anymore. He really didn’t mind at all. Seeing the girl so carefree and joyful made him feel at peace. She was happily eating her giant cone of ice cream, including 6 different flavors, waffles, chocolate sauce, and sprinkles. He got chocolate flavor and spiced it up with some mayonnaise from his personal stash. They were walking along one of the bridges to cross over to the other side where Kagura saw another store she was interested in. She insisted to buy another gift for Gintoki but somehow, he had the feeling that she enjoyed this whole shopping trip.

Below them, the lower floors lay and above them, the sunlight streamed down through the glass ceiling. There were decorations all over the place, most of them silver fishes, squids and jellyfish reflecting the sunlight like a beautiful mirror ball. The theme seemed to be underwater, and in the distance, they could see a giant mythological sea creature trying to bite off the fourth floor. It was impressive, to say the least. Hijikata didn’t know they were having so much art in malls. He understood why people liked it.

Kagura was munching her waffle, half of her ice cream already gone. He hadn’t realized she was staring at him. “Toushii. Today’s your day off, right?”

“Hm?” His dark blue eyes met hers and for a moment, he paused. “Ah, yeah. Why?”

“Just wondering.” She tilted her head and scrutinized him. “Why were you working then? Why ‘re you not doing anything with Gin-chan? Did you two have a fight? Got tired of his stinking feet already?”

Oh, that’s what she had been wondering about. “Ah, no. I just felt like working since that time. You guys have been taking out the drug ring, so I wanted to get some work done.”

“Honestly.” The red-haired girl sighed dramatically. “You’re working too much. Try to be a reasonable adult for once, ok? I can’t take care of you as well. I already got my hands full with one shitty adult.”

He smiled and scratched his head. Somehow, being scolded by her didn’t bother him too much. “Sorry.”

“Good thing I’m getting you outside today.” Her cheeky smile was pure gold. “Otherwise, you’d die of _karōshi*_.”

“Thanks for taking care of me.”

When she saw his warm and benign expression, she beamed as well. There wasn’t much left to say, so she continued to eat her ice cream and strolled towards the other shops. The silence between them was comfortable now and she could feel him relaxing. She wondered why he had been so tense around her. Was he still worried she didn’t approve of him and their relationship? Honestly, these guys were dense sometimes.

It was nice spending time with him like that. Sure, she needed a present for her shitty warden and she didn’t have any money, but she liked Toshi. They hadn’t spent time with each other since the day they all had been to the cinema and festival. She was almost getting jealous sometimes. Hijikata was such a responsible and nice person. Kagura needed that from time to time, especially whenever Gin was really obnoxious. He was a good counterbalance.

True, she still believed Tsukuyo would have been a nice fit for Gin-chan. But only because she wanted to have more female friends and role models. Gintama featured a lot of strong women but she sometimes still felt like all the focus was on the men. So, having Tsukuyo as a mother would have been nice. However, she couldn’t complain about Hijikata being her stepdad either. He was doing a decent job. She was glad he and Gin-chan were a couple. Even if that meant the two of them getting all lovey-dovey in their apartment.

When her train of thought embarked in that direction, she suddenly flinched and shook her head. Getting nervous all of the sudden, she tried thinking of something else. Not now. It wasn’t the right time yet.

 

Kagura didn’t even notice she stopped in front of an electronics store. She was spacing out when her eyes met a cute clamshell phone with bunnies all over the shell. Hijikata, in turn, didn’t realize any of her inner turmoil. The only thing he saw was her staring at a mobile phone. So, when his voice sounded, she winced for a second.

“That one with the rabbits is cute.”

“What?” Her big blue eyes stared at him in utter confusion.

“That one.” He pointed at it calmly, making sure she understood what he was getting at. “It suits you.”

For a moment, the red-haired girl stared back and forth between her new dad and the cell phone.  When she finally understood, she was genuinely startled. “I don- I don’t need one…”

“Sure, you do.” His gaze met hers and she could see how serious he was. “You don’t have my number yet.”

“Your… number?” What? Why? Why was he acting so weird all of the sudden?

Just a shrug. “In case something’s wrong. Which is always, Yorozuya being your warden and all.”

She shook her head in sheer bewilderment. “You serious?”

“Yeah.” He turned away a bit, leaving her some space. “Girls need a phone when they get older. Or do you want to be depended on his old-ass telephone at home forever?”

He had a point. But still, him taking care of her was really, really weird. And really, really nice. Her cheeks reddened now, and she scratched the floor with her foot. “Toshii… that’s nice of you. But I don’t want to be indebted to you.”

“Who says you will be?” A short answer as he looked away. “I’m only giving you the phone and the starting money. But you’re the one who has to recharge it with your own money.”

A gulp and she felt a tingle in her chest. Truth be told, she actually _did_ want a cell phone. “That’s still too much…”

“Listen.” Oh, how much he craved a cigarette right now. “It’s not your fault this sugar freak is a lazy ass who can’t even pay you a salary. I’ve got enough money saved up, so one or two phones won’t matter that much. You’re old enough to handle these kinds of things now. And besides, if you ever do get in trouble, that way it’ll be easier to contact me.”

For a second, her eyes tore up. She sniffed and quickly rubbed away the swelling tears. This guy really was much nicer than he let on. The alien girl refrained from hugging him again. Instead, she hit him with a chuckle. “Damn, Toshi. You’re making me blush. You’re such a ladies’ man!”

Now it was his turn to blush. He cleared his throat but before he could reply anything, she pinched him.

“Thank you…”

“…You’re welcome.”

After a moment of uncomfortable silence, the policeman offered her a few thousand yen and she gratefully took it, dashing off into the store the second later. His heart still pounding, Hijikata turned away and walked a few steps towards the balustrade to take a breather. Man, did he crave a cigarette. He was still not very good at dealing with teenagers, much less alien teenage girls. He didn’t want to scare her off or condescend her. He genuinely wanted to help her. But he was a klutz when dealing with women. That was probably also why he never had a girlfriend.

Not wanting to go in this direction, he took a deep breath and waited for Kagura to return. This day turned out to be fun if he was completely honest. He would spend some more time with her. He didn’t have any plans, after all.

A playful blow hit him from behind and when he turned around, a teenager with a gigantic smile greeted him.

“Let’s have some cake, shall we?”

 

~ ~  ~

 

They were sitting in a lovely café. It was bright and spacious, the walls painted in pastel colors and the tables adorned with the cutest decorations one could imagine. There were pictures of pandas on the walls and windows, fresh flowers on the counter and the menu was overflowing with childish dish names and cartoons. All of the snacks and sweets were ridiculously charming, had faces and looked like a gallery of emojis. Naturally, it was filled with girls and young women. One of them was Kagura, though her company didn’t quite fit the youthful, cute atmosphere of this place.

The alien girl had ordered a cake that looked like a cat and the policeman had opted for coffee, though the foam on top of it was adorned with the face of a panda. He had just sighed and accepted it. This wasn’t exactly something worth complaining about. And honestly, even though his otaku self had died hundreds of episodes ago, he could still feel some part of him enjoying this. Maybe he should bring Gintoki here sometime. He would love this.

“Itadakimasu~!” Kagura chimed before taking a first bite of her cake. She held back, he realized. Instead of gulping down the cake in one go, she savored it and hummed happily, fork still in her mouth. “Hmmmm~! This is amazing!”

The cop couldn’t refrain from smiling. “Glad you’re enjoying it.”

Cheekily, she grinned at him. “Look who’s talking.”

There was no point in arguing with her. He wasn’t in the mood to uphold his straight man’s façade. Somehow, he was able to relax much more and don’t take everything too seriously. He wondered if that was because of Gintoki. Maybe it was just character development. In any case, he sipped his coffee and looked around. There were just a few other customers but all of them were teenage girls talking about fashion and boys and so on.

“Thanks for being with me.”

Hijikata just nodded with a tiny smile. “I’ve been meaning to come here, anyway.”

She chuckled, enjoying this carefree, joking side of him. “Oh, really? Is that so? Well, then I’m happy we could come here together. It’s almost like a date.”

“Don’t say things like that.” He grimaced. “Some people might take it too literally.”

“Naw, don’t worry Toushi. Everyone knows you have the hots for someone else.” Giggling, she took another bite of the lemon cake and shoved something over the table towards him. It was a small white paper bag. “Here. I got you a little something.”

“Huh?” Perplexed, he stared down at the gift, not moving at all.

“Come on, open it!”

Completely dumbfounded, he took it and stared at it without the courage to do anything. “For... me?”

“Yes, you slowpoke!” Her smile almost blew up her face. “As a thank you for today.”

Speechless, he stared at it for a long moment. He was honestly touched. Then he opened it and whispered a soft _Thank you very much_.

It was a cellphone strap. A very ugly one, too. Some kind of human monster, with a giant onion-shaped head, a bush of hair on the forehead, a beard and a swollen belly. It looked like a deformed baby. And it was holding a mayonnaise bottle.

Hijikata froze.

He started shaking and a tear was squeezing out from his right eye. He couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe she remembered.

_It was the Mayorin mascot*!_

“I… I…” He struggled for words, deeply touched.

Kagura was grinning like crazy now, happy that he liked the gift. “You don’t have to say anything, Toushi. I’m just glad that we’re friends.”

Honestly, this girl was such a sweetheart.

 

After Hijikata had dried his tears, strapped the gift to his phone and thanked her again, Kagura continued eating her cake. She was still smiling but not as much as the policeman, who still couldn’t get his shit together. The silence between them was comfortable and familiar. Hijikata wouldn’t have known what to say anyway. He was so touched. He would treasure this gift. He didn’t care if Sougo teased him. This was the best gift he had ever received in his whole life.

Staring at Mayorin in bliss, Hijikata was spacing out. It was so sweet that he even forgot to add Mayonnaise to his coffee. He didn’t have eyes for anything else. Which was why he didn’t realize the atmosphere changing, Kagura getting edgy. He didn’t even realize the shy urgency in her voice when she stared at the remnants of her cake.

“Toushi… Actually… there’s another reason I wanted to meet you today.”

“Hm?” Grinning like an idiot, he glanced at her. He really didn’t get it at all. “Why ’s that?”

She hesitated for a moment, took a deep breath and finally said it.

Nothing could have prepared him for the words that followed.

“I need love advice.”

His head shot up. He stared at her. In utter disbelieve.

The girl was blushing, avoiding his eyes, her lips pressed together in a thin line.

“…Huh?” was the only reaction.

Cheeks burning red, she closed her eyes and snarled. “Don’t be so surprised! I’m a young girl, after all! This was bound to happen eventually! And, honestly, I think it’s unfair that Shinpachi was the only one getting love advice from all of you! I want Followkata Toushifollow*! So, drop that stupid act and help me!”

His eye was twitching, and he tried to calm down. Her words really hit him like a truck. Since when did she have an interest in love? Was this an idol thing? And why the hell would she come to him of all people?

Trying not to say anything stupid, he collected his thoughts for a second. Her gaze cut deep, and he knew he had to be careful what to reply. This was a very delicate situation and he realized there were a thousand ways to mess this up. God, how did he get into this mess?

“Um…” His voice was low and weak. “…Why… are you coming to me?”

Huffy, she crossed her arms and stared into another direction. “Why not? You’re the obvious choice. You’re sensitive and nice and in love yourself. Who else would I turn to? Shinpachi, that virgin? Or maybe even Gin-chan? You know fully well that this asshole would only make fun of me and make vulgar comments. Besides, since the Boyfriend arc* I’m not trusting him anymore. He would just freak out if I told him.”

True, true. And he would kill him when he found out he gave Kagura love advice.

“You’re the only sane guy I know. I can talk to you… You know what it’s like… to be in love with that kind of person.” She paused for a moment, honestly embarrassed. Her face completely red, she stared at him and looked vulnerable. “…Will you keep it a secret from Gin-chan?”

For a moment, his mouth stood wide open. Then, he quickly nodded and calmed down. As strange as this situation was, she came to him of all people. That must take a lot of guts. “Of course.”

“Thanks…” Ashamed, she avoided his gaze again. Her fingers folded inside her lap, she seemed to struggle for words, but nothing came.

Enduring this awkward situation for her sake, Hijikata tried to mitigate the damage. Carefully, he started to ask questions.

“So… you’re… in love with someone?”

She frowned. “Dunno. …Maybe. Or maybe it’s more of a crush. I dunno. …But I never felt this way before.”

His heart started pounding as well. He could understand this very well. It reminded him of Mitsuba. But he didn't go there. “How are you feeling?”

The red color of her face just didn’t go away. “…Well… whenever I see this person, I… my heart starts racing and I feel kind of weak. I think this person is really beautiful. When our eyes meet, it’s like a little electric shock… Or something like that.”

Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. This was the real deal. Shit, and he had to help her? Who the hell was he to give love advice?!

“So… you don’t know what to do?”

A reluctant nod, followed by a heavy sigh. “I mean… I know what I could do. I’ve seen enough dramas to know what it means to have a boyfriend. But… the thing is that I don’t know if I should.”

“Why shouldn’t you?”

“Because…” Her expression was exasperated. “…this guy is… kind of a macho.”

Is that why she came to him? Did that mean Gin was a macho as well? Was he? He had this side to him for sure. Sometimes, he really was a sexist ass. He truly disliked that about the silver head.

“In how far?”

Another irritated sigh. “Well… he’s kind of a troublemaker. Big mouth, quite aggressive, rude. …Whenever I see him, he makes fun of me, insults me. I didn’t like him at first but… there’s something about him that makes my heart beat faster.”

“…And you’re asking me because…?”

She stared at him as if that was obvious. “Aren’t you and Gin-chan the same? He makes fun of you day and night, doesn’t he? And still, you like him. So, I guess you and I are similar in that regard, aren’t we?”

It was as he feared. Defeated, he closed his eyes. This was a mess…

 

Kagura shifted in her seat. “I need your advice, Toushi. …What should I do? I’ve never been in love before. I’m not even sure he likes me. But he made some strange comments recently. They make me feel like he’s interested in me. …Some people just show their affection through insults, right? …For some people, it’s just hard to express their true feelings…”

As he watched her, he could feel her confusion and pain. He had never seen her like this. She seemed to have a major crush on this guy, huh? But who was he to tell her what to do? He had a horrible boyfriend who was a total sadist, after all.

After a long pause, the police officer finally breathed out, scratching his neck. “I’m sorry, but I can’t give you any meaningful advice. You and I are completely different people after all. And I’m pretty sure this person and the Yorozuya are quite different too, aren’t they? Besides, we’re not teenagers anymore and both men. So, it doesn’t make any sense to tell you what to do. Don’t you agree?”

The disappointment was all over her face and she pouted. “I know that! But still… I feel so lost. How did you realize you’re in love with Gin-chan? What made you so sure? And why did you decide to get together? I mean… he’s a sadist and pervert and lazy bastard…”

She wouldn’t let go, would she? Hijikata clenched his teeth for a second. He wasn’t the type of person who talked about such things, who shared all of these intimate details. He had a hard time talking about feelings in general. But somehow, seeing her like this, he thought he owed it to her. So, he decided to open up, just a little bit.

His heart pounding and his palms getting sweaty, he glanced to the side. “…What kind of question is that? …I guess… I just knew. He helped us so many times and for some reason or another, he knows how I think and what I need. …And after you guys helped us getting Kondo-san out of prison, even though that meant you being enemies of the state… I just knew.”

Silently, she nodded and seemed to be deep in thought.

Wanting to shift the focus back to her as quickly as possible, he nodded. ”I guess what I’m trying to say is… You’ll know the answer in time. And you’ll know what to do. You’re a strong, young woman, aren’t you? No need to care about what others think then. You’ll figure it out.”

A long moment, she said nothing, only stared at her unfinished piece of cake. Then, she smiled and closed her eyes. Her cheeks were still bright red, but she didn’t seem to mind. “Thanks… I’m happy you think that way.”

His lips curled into a weak smile as well, not sure if he did the right thing. He somehow felt a bit stressed out but couldn’t understand why. Ignoring this creeping feeling, he tried to lighten the mood a bit. “So, he’s handsome, huh? Do I know him?”

The redhead needed a moment to collect herself. She smiled to herself and closed her eyes, shifting in her seat again. “He looks quite good, yeah… A few years older, too. His eyes remind me a bit of Gin-chan, though he doesn’t look as stupid.” She eyed him, cheeky now. “If you knew who it was, you’d probably disapprove.”

Huh? Disapprove? Why? What was that supposed to-

“But he’s really handsome.” Her face was glowing now from the major crush she had. “Red eyes, blond, tall…”

Wait.

“He looks great in his uniform.”

What?

“Though mommy always said only sadists wear uniforms.”

Hold on a second!

She sighed and glanced at him from behind rose-colored glasses. “He may be a bit of an asshole, but he can also be nice. Just yesterday he called me a ******. Isn’t that sweet?”

It couldn't’ be. It just couldn’t be!

Her smile was vulnerable, and she tilted her head, pleading. “Promise you won’t tell Gin-chan.”

IT COULDN’T BE!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Omiyage are boxed sweets that Japanese people bring home from a vacation. Look some up. They are adorable.
> 
> *Karōshi is death by working too much. Unfortunately, it has been quite common in Japan for some time now.
> 
> *Mayorin is from the anime episode 185 “Hometowns and boobs are best thought from afar” where Hijikata visits the Mayonnaise factory
> 
> *Followkata Toushifollow from the Correspondence Arc, manga 203-206, anime 126-128
> 
> *Kagura’s Boyfriend arc, manga 419-422, anime 329-330
> 
> Next chapter will have a special surprise! I’m so excited!


	18. Strawberry-Mayonnaise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I feel like it was ages ago that I promised this. Hope you all enjoy what’s about to come. I’ve been meaning to write this for such a long time.
> 
> Get ready for some love <3

## Strawberry-Mayonnaise

“Oneeeee-chaaaaan!” As he stumbled towards her and swung an arm around her neck, she started panicking. But the drunk fool didn’t care. He just giggled and nudged her head. “It’s my birthdaaaaay!”

The young woman in the crimson butterfly kimono looked horrified. She covered her mouth and nose as he leaned closer. His breath reeked of alcohol.

A throbbing vein appeared on his forehead as Hijikata hurried towards them in order to stop him. Gin, however, was grinning like crazy, getting closer to her face than necessary. “And y’know what? ’m going t’ a love hotel! M’ boyfriend ’s gonna fuck my brains out!”

As the disgust on her beautiful face couldn’t possibly get any stronger, Hijikata dragged him off of her and tried not to blush. “What the fuck are you doing? Don’t molest strangers! In fact, don’t molest anyone!”

“Nnnn, Hijikata-kuuuun~!” Gin giggled and hugged him. “Don’t get mad. ‘m all yours tanight!”

Calmly, he pushed him away and shot the young woman an apologizing look. He deserved a fucking medal for staying as calm as this. “I’m terribly sorry for my friend. He had a bit too much. Please don’t mind him and enjoy your evening.”

Her eyes were still displaying a mix of repulsion, confusion, and horror but she nodded and hurried in the opposite direction.

Meanwhile, Gin was cackling again, wobbling forward. “’s my birthdaaaay!”

Hijikata shot him an angry look. How the hell was he drunk? He just had had a few beers. Damn it at all. “Oi, damn perm.” He came closer and made no secret of his foul mood. “Come here and have some water. Otherwise, we won’t go anywhere tonight.”

“Toushiii-kuuun~!” He tackled him, throwing one arm around his shoulder, nudging his head against his neck. Just like a cat in heat. “Don’ be angry with me. ’s my birthday after all!”

An annoyed grunt, as he closed his eyes and dragged him off the busy street. Good thing there were some vending machines and a park nearby. They had been taking the busy street along the shopping mile for a while now, so the cop was happy to take a turn into the trees and park the drunk idiot on a bench. As said idiot hollered at the passersby from afar, Hijikata bought two bottles of water. He offered Gin the first one.

“Here. Drink.”

“Uhhh, how bossy~” With the cutest drunk smile, Gin did as he was told and started gulping down the ice-cold water.

Another sigh and the man with the olive-brown hair crossed his arms. How the hell did this idiot manage to do that every time?

 

It was night already, almost midnight. There weren’t many lanterns in the park, but the soft light of the street lampions still reached them. This already had been a long day. For some reason or another, there had been _a lot_ of people at his birthday party. Everyone had been squeezing into the small apartment of the Yorozuya until there hadn’t been enough space and the party broke into several small groups.

Surprisingly, the silver-haired man had gotten a lot of presents. Some had been decent like Shinpachi’s box of chocolate or Kagura’s parfait shirt. Some had been plain weird. Like Catherine’s photo of herself in a cat costume, Zenzo’s yearly subscription for hemorrhoid cream or the robot girl’s comic guide for anal sex. Not to forget Hasegawa with a can of expired anko beans or Otose with a handwritten note reminding him to ‘pay his freaking rent’. Katsura with a giant old jukebox had made the list of bizarre gifts complete. He had even started dancing when turning on the old-ass music. Unsurprisingly, Gin had joined him, lamenting about the good old times as if he were eighty years old.

Of course, Tae had ‘cooked’ a giant burnt birthday cake which only Kondou had eaten until he had eventually fainted. There had been a lot of booze, too. Hijikata had tried his best to stop Gintoki from completely wasting himself. Sougo, in turn, had made fun of him the whole evening, suggesting all the things the Vice Chief wanted to do later in the love hotel. He joked nonstop about if Gintoki would finally be allowed to ‘ _bury his banana in his peach fondue’_ , as he put it. His gift to Gintoki had been a full set of BDSM toys and all the anal plugs, dildos, and other weird things had had a name tag with Hijikata’s credentials on it. Of course, Gin had been delighted and the two of them had teamed up against him again. Sougo just loved to humiliate him in public. Damn this little fucker…

Speaking of which, Hijikata couldn’t make out any different behavior between Sougo and Kagura. They teased each other just like they always did, fighting and insulting each other nonstop.  But he couldn’t recognize any strange behavior from Kagura’s side that matched what he had seen just a while back. Maybe it wasn’t Sougo after all? Maybe Kagura really was in love with someone else?

He couldn’t tell and didn’t have time to think about it.

He was nervous.

 

When he thought about it, his cheeks reddened a bit and he closed his eyes. No point in thinking about it now. First, he needed to get this stupid idiot sober and to the hotel. He wondered, how he would do that, though. This guy was hammered.

“Oi, Hijikata-kuuuun~!” His crooked smile was accompanied by a blurry gaze. He still sat on the park bench, leaning back a bit and checking him out. “Drank all of ta wata… so whass ya gonna do nau? …Get kinky hea in ta bushes?”

Oh, dear Lord…

An annoyed gape was all he got. “Get yourself together, man…”

Just a chuckle. “We’re going to tha love hot’l now? Got a spec’l surprise for me? What issit? S&M? Cosuplay? Roluplay? Ya know I laik nurses, right? Ya know that, right? Ahhh, jus’ thinkin’ ‘bout that ge’ss me horny…”

What was he rambling about? God, maybe he should get him home. This way it wasn’t any fun.

“Hijikata-kuuuun~!”

An annoyed grunt and he massaged his forehead. This was not how he had planned this evening. He should get him home. But the remaining guests were still there, and he had booked a room for them after all… So maybe he should just get them there and put him to sleep. They could do it another time. No rush on that…

Suddenly, a strange sound ripped through the silence and Gin toppled over.

He was throwing up into the bushes behind him.

“Buuueeeerghhhh!”

 

~ ~  ~

 

“Urgh, you still stink. Eat another one.” A displeased policeman shoved a package of gum into his face. The silver head didn’t complain, though. He was gulping down the rest of the water and threw the bottle in the trash can next to the vending machine. Then he took another gum and sulked.

“No need to yell at me. Can’t you be a little gentler? I just threw up, ok? It’s my birthday, too. Don’t I deserve some love?”

Hijikata grunted and closed his eyes, walking off. “After you’ve brushed your teeth maybe.”

“’m gonna do that anyway!” Gintoki pouted and followed behind him.

After Gin’s glorious performance, the policeman had dragged him into a supermarket. Lucky for them, they had toothbrushes, toothpaste, and mint gums. As the Yorozuya was chewing persistently, he scratched his head. At least, he seemed soberer now.

“How long till the hotel? I wanna take a shower. Can’t we just take any of them? I don’t wanna walk anymore…”

Hijikata had throbbing veins all over his forehead again. He swallowed all of the insults, though. _Because it was his birthday_. “We’re almost there.”

“Hijikata-kuun…” Gintoki put one arm on his shoulder as if to get help while walking. “I need something to eat. My head ’s dizzy. Can we please stop somewhere?”

He was so damn annoying. Why did he have to take care of him? It was like he had a baby all of the sudden. Mumbling, he reached into the shopping bag from the supermarket and shoved it in his face. It was a _nikuman_. And it was still hot. “You’re a real bother, you know that?”

“Hah-“ Gin tore up, sniffing and shaking. “Hijikata-kuuuuuuuuuun~!”

“Just eat the damn thing!”

 

It only took them a few minutes until they finally reached their destination. In the meantime, Gin had swallowed the nikuman whole and had started crying again upon discovering that Hijikata had also bought him a sweet _anman_. He looked a bit better now and his breath wasn’t as appalling anymore. Seemed like the food had helped with that. Now, however, the Yorozuya was scrutinizing the room advertisements of the love hotel they were standing in. He seemed particularly interested in the lower row.

“Ohhh, a space shuttle room! Let’s take this one!”

“No.”

“How about the casino one here? This looks amazing! We could have sex on the blackjack table.”

“I said no.”

“Hmph, ok. What about this one then? I like the giant cup noodle pool.”

“I can’t even tell if you’re joking anymore.”

“Ohh, this one! We should take this one! I like the dungeon flair. And look at all the S&M stuff they have. It’s perfect!”

“ _What’s perfect about that?! I’m gonna die of fear with this screaming burnt human doll watching us!_ ”

“Man, you’re grumpy.” With a deadpan expression, Gin looked at him. “Isn’t today my birthday? Shouldn’t I be the one to pick?”

Hijikata’s cheeks were just a bit red and he avoided looking at him. “Shut up. I already booked a room.”

“Eh?” Now a cocky grin adorned his stupid face. “Is that so?”

“Yeah.” Not wanting to waste any more time, Hijikata checked them in and started walking upstairs. He didn’t want anyone to see them after all.

While Gin was rambling on and on, the man with the olive-brown hair guided them through the corridor. He was awfully silent, but Gin didn't seem to notice. When they finally entered the room, however, the silver head was whistling. A pleased, smug grin stuck to his cheeks as he looked around. It was a big, Japanese style room, much like a _ryokan*_ but with a real bed. The walls were covered with paper fusuma, massive wooden pillars divided the room and tatami mats were muffling the sound of their steps. The Yorozuya couldn’t resist a satisfied chuckle.

“Not bad.”

 

It really was no secret that this pervert liked Japanese styled things. And, today being his birthday and all, Hijikata wanted to do something nice for him. He was just a bit relieved that Gin seemed to like it. The rest of his attention was directed elsewhere. Slowly, he stored the shopping bags in the entrance area and shoved some hygiene products into his face.

“You go ahead and take a shower, I’ll wait. And don’t forget to brush your teeth.”

“You my mother or what?” Gin teased, though the grin was hard to overhear. “Don’t worry. I was gonna do that, anyway.”

“Fine then.” He was tense, couldn’t look him in the eye. Just standing there, he attracted a lot of attention. As he was spacing out, Gin crept up on him and drew him into a kiss, making him jolt. The kiss was an unappealing mix of mint, residual vomit and anko paste. It was appalling, to say the least. Disgusted, Hijikata retreated and cover his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Urgh! You stink! What was that for?!”

Gin just snickered and flashed a smile. “How else would you taste the difference?”

“I’m pretty sure I could tell even without you kissing me now! Brush your damn teeth! Your breath smells like shit.” Hijikata shrieked and stomped off, leaving his boyfriend at the entrance. Said boyfriend just grinned and disappeared into the bathroom.

“Aye aye, _officer_.”

 

~ ~  ~

 

A soundless sigh escaped his throat as he looked into the mirror. Water drops were still rolling down his bare skin and the air was steamy from the hot shower. Absentmindedly, he stared into his own eyes and repeated a mantra inside his head. He dried his hair with the towel and combed through it with his bare fingers to make it look nice. Then, he styled it a bit backward, so it looked like when he had been in Gintoki’s body during the soul switch arc. In the mirror, he could see the scars from the recent attack, still healing. It looked nasty, but he knew Gintoki wouldn’t mind. To be honest, Hijikata was more worried about what was waiting for him outside than his looks at that moment.

He was nervous.

Damn it.

Blushing just a little bit, he slapped his cheeks and closed his eyes. His heart was pounding already, and he felt hot. He told himself to be cool. That, however, was easier said than done. There was no point in overthinking this, no point in postponing any of this. The longer he stayed in here, the harder it would get. He wished he could be more like Gintoki in that remark. Confident and blunt and not caring what other people thought. But alas, he was who he was. And that was why he was so unbelievably nervous. He knew he shouldn’t be. Not with this guy at least.

Brooding, blue eyes met blue eyes and entered into a staring contest. In an internal dialogue, he encouraged himself to take the lead, to be confident and own this. He counted to ten, to give himself an ultimatum. Then, he rubbed the rest of his body dry and put his hand on the door handle. No need to put on clothes, really. A towel around his waist would do. Taking a last deep breath, he finally entered the bedroom.

The first thing he saw was a naked man lying on the bed, facing him with his head in his hand and a seductive smile on his lips. At least that was what he was going for, obviously.

“Well, well. You’ve left me waiting for a long time. I almost started without you.”

Closing his eyes in embarrassment, Hijikata let out a demonstrative sigh and slowly closed the door behind him.

“So, anything special for my birthday?” Gin flashed his trademark dumb smile and his eyebrows danced seductively. “How about some roleplay? Want to arrest me?  Did I do something bad, _officer_?”

Hijikata didn’t want to admit how sexy it was that Gintoki called him ‘officer’. He gulped and stared at him from afar, a bit unsure “…Would you like that?”

“You kiddin’ me?” The Yorozuya’s grin was so dirty and excited, it showed other places as well. “I may not like the police, but I have a real fetish about you in your uniform. Come on, Toushirou. Bring out the Demonic Vice Chief and punish me a bit.”

And sure as hell, Hijikata’s head became glowing red. He pushed this idea as far away as he could, so he wouldn’t let this pervert see how much it was turning him on. “Good to know…”

Still teasing him, Gintoki waved a wrapped box around, inviting him to come closer. “Really excited for your present, by the way. If you waited that long to give it to me, I’m sure it’s gonna be good.”

Stupid gift. Well then. Into battle.

Avoiding his eyes, he finally came closer and sat down on the bed. “I’m honestly surprised you didn’t open it yet.”

“You don’t know the struggle.” Happy, Gin came into an upright position and positioned himself next to his boyfriend. He was already ripping apart the wrapping. “I was reaaaally close to open it like five times already.”

The black-haired man didn’t reply. He was too paralyzed to do it. Stiff as a poker, with his eyes closed, he just prepared for the worst.

 

Gin opened the box.

For a few seconds, there was absolute silence.

And then, out of nowhere, a chortling laughter made the policeman flinch.

Convulsing, crashing into the pillows, Gin was laughing his ass off. He was seriously gasping for air, almost choking, tears filling up his eyes. Hijikata tried to stay calm. Like, _really tried_. But in the end, he yapped at him after all, cheeks burning red.

“Oi, calm down already!”

“Bu- but Tou-shiii!” He was red himself from nearly asphyxiating, crying of laughter. “…it’s perfect! But honestly… what the fuck?”

His boyfriend was grunting, scratching his neck nervously. “Wasn’t my idea.”

“But you bought it!” This image shook him violently and he broke into laughter once more. “You actually went into a store and bought it, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t.” He growled. “Kondou-san did.”

“Whaaat?!” Half disappointed, half joking, he shoved the gift into his boyfriend’s face. Most of it was made of rich brown chocolate but the tip was the pink of strawberry cream. “So, I’ll be eating that gorilla’s dick instead?”

Embarrassed, Hijikata hissed at him, not really comfortable with a chocolate penis swinging in front of his face. “I gave him the money, so technically it’s my gift. He just bought it for me.”

“That’s not how it works, you know?” The Yorozuya clearly enjoyed himself and the massive grin was glued to his face now. “But still, I like this side of yours. You’re so dirty, Hijikata-kun~!”

“Happy Birthday…” He mumbled, shoving the sexy sweet right back in his direction.

“Hrhrhr…” Pleased, Gintoki eyeballed the gift some more. “Who would’ve thought that the Demonic Vice Chief has such a dirty secret? Not all nice and proper, are you?” He licked his lips. “I really need something sweet now. But to be honest, I would much rather eat your dick, Hijikata-kun.”

Below the towel he was wearing, Hijikata’s muscle twitched. He tried not to make him notice. The next moment, he leaned in closer to kiss him and to shut him up. Happily, Gin leaned in, too, but before their lips could meet, he retracted. Instead, he moved the chocolate penis into his boyfriend’s vision again.

“But first, I want you to do a little fanservice for me.”

Blinking, he stared from his gift into his eyes, clearly dissatisfied. “…Fanservice?”

“Uhu.” He bit his lip in excitement and snickered. “I want you to eat it.”

He had dreaded that. So, his answer was obvious. As calmly as possible, he stared into his red eyes, giving him no opening. “But only with mayonnaise.”

At that comment, Gin’s eyes began to twinkle. A throaty, low chuckle escaped his mouth. “Uh, you’re so dirty. I like it.”

Reaching over to the nightstand, where he had thoughtfully put his personal mayonnaise bottle beforehand, he decided to swallow his pride. With as much confidence as he had left, he poured the white, sticky sauce onto the tip. Only now did he realize how indecent that looked. It was too late. And the next second, he started licking the dripping mayonnaise from the strawberry-flavored tip.

He could feel Gintoki tensing up next to him, though the dirty grin was still plastered all over his face. As embarrassing as this was, seeing the effect he had on this bastard really turned him on. He almost enjoyed it. Eating his favorite condiment was just a nice extra.

“Whatcha going, Hijikata-kun?” The Yorozuya chuckled throatily. “Told you to eat it, not just lick it.”

 

“Hmph.” The policeman enjoyed him being a bit breathless. He teased back. “I’m not gonna eat that. But if you put on more mayonnaise, I might do more than just licking.”

“Uhhh~! Like what?” Demonstratively, he squeezed a whole lot of unhealthy white sauce on the chocolate dick. His eyes were flickering in anticipation.

Damn this bastard. He somehow always found a way to make him do perverted stuff. But seeing Gintoki’s encouraging, smug smile, he didn’t even mind. It felt oddly comfortable. Hijikata pushed himself and the thing in his hand closer to his lover and then buried it deep inside his mouth, sucking the mayonnaise off the chocolate. He could feel Gintoki’s unsteady breath on his cheek because they were so close now. His laugh was throaty and hot.

“Oi, oi… you’re really going all out today, huh? Didn’t think you had it in you.”

Hijikata’s sole reply was to nibble at the pink strawberry tip and trace the oddly realistic features with his tongue. He wanted to get rid of all the white remnants covering the chocolate treat. As his lips closed around the shaft once more, Gin’s laugh was rattling.

“God, this is so hot.”

Instinctively, his fingers wandered over Hijikata’s thigh, slipping under the towel. The policeman shivered when his boyfriend found what he wanted. He was glad he didn’t comment on the state he was in. Instead, the silver head leaned in closer and bumped their foreheads together, nibbling on the chocolate now. Being so close paired with Gin’s hand slowly stroking his cock made Hijikata shiver in excitement. Seeing him taking in the chocolate dick with his mouth didn’t make it any better.

Feeling the arousal engulfing him, Hijikata decided to take the next step. He grabbed his boyfriend's cock and started drawing him into a passionate kiss. Chocolate treat all forgotten, the two men started making out, their tongues battling over dominance while they stroked each other’s muscles in silent encouragement. They were puffing, breathlessly now, getting closer and closer until their heads were full of heat, impatient heartbeats and each other’s scents. Gin’s fingers were roaming through dark hair while he pleasured his boyfriend with the other hand. Knowing no shame whatsoever, he started moaning loudly when Hijikata moved his hand the way the way he liked it, with just the right pressure so it didn’t hurt.

Invitingly, he grabbed his head and pulled him down on the bed, biting his swollen lip. “Toushirou, come on. I want your chocolate dick.” Pulling his foreskin all the way down, he started scratching the sensitive skin. “Don’t make me wait.”

 

As the Yorozuya engaged him in close combat again and kissed him like a starved beast, the cop propped himself up above him. For a long moment, he enjoyed the wild kiss and Gin taking in both of their cocks to rub them together. He wasn’t drunk anymore, though maybe still a bit tipsy. He smelled nice, of shampoo and sweets. Hijikata had a hard time resisting him. However, when he finally tore off the towel from his waist, the dark-haired man broke off the kiss and whispered.

“Wait.”

“For what?” Gin puffed impatiently before he dug his nails into his boyfriend’s behind. “I’m ready to go.”

“Well…” He begun, clearly struggling for words. Gin still having both of their cocks in his hand, didn’t particularly help. “…it’s your birthday after all. So…”

“So?” Gin looked into his eyes and once again, he realized how beautiful they were. He could see in them, that Gintoki didn’t particularly mind. He wasn’t expecting anything. He just wanted to bone. That made it a little easier for him.

“…So, if you want, we could…”

When he still couldn’t get the words out, Gin started tilting his head. His voice was raspy, and he looked at him expectantly. “Yeah?”

“…switch.”

 

It took the silver head a full moment until he seemed to understand.

He blinked once.

His facial expression started to slowly change.

He blinked twice.

And then, he blinked so much, his eyelashes almost looked like a flying hummingbird. Hijikata tried his best not to blush. He wanted to say something, but his throat was corded up from the nervousness building up inside of him again. He could see the utter bewilderment in his crimson eyes.

“…Switch?”

“…yeah.” He managed to squeeze through his sore throat.

Gintoki pushed him away just a bit, so he could prop himself up to his elbows and look at him from a certain distance. Suddenly, he seemed to be wide awake. As if he just had a gallon of caffeine. He stared at him incredulously.

“You sure?”

Just a little shimmer of red appeared on his cheeks and he closed his eyes for a second before he looked at him again. “…Yes. …You want to?”

A gigantic grin blew up his face, making him smile from ear to ear. He tried to hide his excitement but failed miserably. “If I _want to_?!”

He wanted to close his eyes in shame but resisted the urge. Had taken them long enough. He knew Gintoki had wanted to do this for a long time, but he somehow never had the courage to actually go through with it. But right now, he was ready. He wanted to do it.

Gin had a hard time controlling his facial muscles. The corners of his mouth twitched constantly and every sound that left his lips was a suppressed laugh. His eyes started to glow. “Well… if you want me to fuck you senseless then… of course, I’ll grant you this wish.”

“Don’t try to hide your excitement.” A dry commentary.

“Aw, come on. …’s not every day this happens.” Completely smitten, he stared into his eyes as if he wanted to drown inside of them. “…almost a bit cliché, don’t you think? For a birthday gift?”

The cop grunted and furrowed his brows. “You really think it’s a good tactic to insult me like this?”

“No, no. I’m happy, Hijikata-kun.” Flashing his teeth, he ogled him and tilted his head. “…Just… need a moment to plan my next move.”

He couldn’t tell if he was being honest or messing with him. He decided not to care. He would wait for him to take the lead.

 

A few moments, both men were silent, their gazes tightly locked in an intense exchange. Gintoki still had his gigantic stupid smile plastered all over his face. He was still lying under him with his upper body being propped up on his elbows, while Hijikata sat on his lap with one leg propped up to reduce the weight on him. Though still teasingly, the silver head’s expression got softer, almost doting. He looked so love-struck, it made Toushirou’s stomach tingle.

“So, any special position you’d like to do it in?”

Embarrassed, Hijikata lowered his eyes and grunted. “Dunno. No preferences.”

“So, you’re letting me do all the work?” He joked. “One lazy bottom, you are.”

“Oh, shut up.” Damn it. He was getting nervous again. Why did he always have to mock him so much?

“You’re fine with me taking the lead then?”

“…Just do whatever you want.”

“Oh, Toushirou. That’s a real horrible thing to say.” He bit his lip and stroked over his naked back. “But don’t worry. I’ll take good care of you. …I have the feeling I know what you need.”

That made him blush again. He didn’t even deny it anymore. He loved it when he was like that. Arrogant and brash, dominant and yet somehow gentle. It was one of the things that really turned him on. He couldn’t help it. Being called by his first name got him every time.

A lick over his hungry lips, then Gintoki started to take action. Grabbing his arm, he pulled his boyfriend down into a kiss. It was this kind of unhurried and undemanding kiss, that made Hijikata shiver. Their lips joined together ever so softly, their tongues just grazing each other. He felt Gin’s hand gently straying upwards, caressing his neck, temples and disappearing into wet hair. His thumb was rolling over his jawline to the corner of his mouth and back. While one hand grabbed his neck to hold him in place, the other was freely roaming his body, softly dragging his nail over his sides, his chest, and arm. There was no hidden agenda behind his actions and yet, it didn’t fail to make Hijikata’s body shiver.

In one smooth, slow movement, the silver head rolled him around, pushing him into the cushions. Being on top now, Gintoki proceeded to kiss him slowly. One soft kiss after another, only gently getting deeper, only gradually using his tongue.

There was something about this brute being so careful and tender, that really got Hijikata’s blood boiling. He could feel his pulse drumming loudly against his chest, his tongue, filling his head with a comfortable warmth. The nervousness ceased just a bit and he got less tense, finally initiating a bit of contact as well. Cautiously, his fingers trailed off into silver locks, encouraging him to go on.

Getting lost in this soft kiss, both men stayed like this for a few moments. Unhurriedly, Gin’s fingers were trailing his paramour’s upper body while his nose nudged against his cheeks. It was only when he felt the man under him relax, that he started getting serious. His right hand moved down along his neck to trace the rigid collarbone, making the policeman shiver. He playfully bit his bottom lip, extracting a low gasp and then muffled it with a broad swipe of his tongue.

Chuckling lowly, Gintoki sent a hot shiver down his spine. Sucking his lip into his mouth again to bite him gently, the silver head’s hand trailed downwards. It was only teasingly slowly that his finger moved along his chest, his belly and further down to his bellybutton. Getting lost in curly hair for a second, he finally grabbed his manhood and smirked.

 

Under him, Hijikata was puffing. He shivered at this intense body contact and stared into crimson eyes through a cloudy haze. He was not gonna make a move, huh? Gintoki was fine with it. Somehow, he knew that his boyfriend would be passive the first time they did it. He just couldn’t imagine him being outgoing and demanding while being topped for the very first time. He would get there someday, he was sure of it. But today needed to be special. Today, he needed to tone down his sadistic instinct a bit, so that he wouldn’t scare him off. He didn’t mind taking it slow with him. He would be able to fuck his brains out eventually. Tonight, however, he would make sure this mayonnaise freak enjoyed it to his heart’s content.

He would make him sweat.

His laugh sounding like a rolling avalanche of stone, Gintoki nuzzled the scrape of his neck, licking the sensitive skin. At the same time, his hand began moving, rubbing their pulsating muscles together and trapping them between his fingers so he could work on them at the same time. When he heard Toushirou softly gasping for air, he couldn’t suppress a grin. Just a bit of teasing was allowed, wasn’t it?

“Come on, honey. Let me hear your voice. How else am I supposed to know if you like it?”

He knew the dark-haired man was struggling to reply and he loved him for that. Their constant bantering was one of the things he really enjoyed about their relationship. Just to make it a bit harder for him, Gin fastened his grip around his cock to move the way he liked it. Hijikata’s voice was trembling under it and he buried his fingers in Gintoki’s hair, holding him in place so he wouldn’t see his face.

“Idiot…”

That was all he could reply? Wow, he had really tamed the Demonic Vice Chief, hadn’t he? He wanted to brag about that but chose not to. Instead, he gave him what he wanted and stayed where he was, softly biting the skin around his collarbone and licking over it as an attempt to sooth the pain. His other hand was making its way down as well now, scraping Hijikata’s sides down to his hip and his butt until they eventually stopped at his thighs. With a bit of gentle force, he spread open his legs and pushed one up into his body. The man below him shivered and he could hear his rattling breath, louder now. Deeply satisfied with that, Gin started slowing down the pace of his right hand and rubbed his thumb over the tip of his boyfriend’s cock.

“Toushirou…”

He just loved saying his name. It was like honey dripping on his tongue. Realizing this made his breath go faster, was an extra treat. Obediently, Hijikata raised his other leg as well to make it comfortable for him to reach. The Yorozuya placed a kiss on his chest for that and pressed his leg into his stomach a bit more. Just because he knew it felt good.

“…Can you reach the condom and lube? I put it somewhere on the bed.”

He froze at that for a second, getting unnecessarily tense. Gin felt him moving the next second, fumbling around to find it. He had to stretch just a little bit to get it. When he knew he had found it, Gintoki raised himself a little bit to look into his eyes. With a nonchalantly charming smirk, he took them off his hands and eyed him for a second. Just to check up on him if he was still up for it.

They didn’t need words to understand each other, never had to. There was a strange, deep connection between them that said everything they needed to know. Consent was something of utmost importance for Gintoki, but he was no one who was asking nonstop if something felt right. And besides, Hijikata was old enough to say if something didn’t suit his palate. Still, he wanted to make sure they were on the same page. The nervousness in those blue eyes was making him edgy.

“You good?” He smirked.

It took a long moment until the policeman answered. He was a bit breathless, his eyes unsteady and his cock definitely pulsating between his fingers. After getting lost in his eyes, Hijikata finally nodded and reached both hands out for him, burying them inside silver locks and dragging him down into an intimate kiss. “…yeah.”

Gintoki couldn’t help but smile at that. It was ultimately pleasing seeing a little initiative from his part, feeling the way his hands threaded through his hair to keep him in place. Gladly, he moved his tongue alongside Toushirou’s and allowed himself to get lost in the kiss. He didn’t feel hurried. He would take his time. He wanted to savor every bit of this experience. Every little bit of his lover’s body and soul.

 

The kiss kept on for a long moment until their lips parted in a soft ‘pop’. Gintoki still had this relaxed, self-confident grin on his face that gave Hijikata goosebumps. Slowly, he untangled his fingers from silver strands of hair and left his lover some space to move around. Grateful for that, Gin pushed himself up just a bit more to be in the vertical again. Not taking his eyes off of him, he squeezed some lube on his fingers and licked his swollen lips. His other hand pushed Hijikata’s leg into his stomach, making him feel a deep stretching sensation. It felt good.

“Keep your eyes fixed on me.” His voice was hot like a black tea with milk and honey in the winter.

Hijikata had to shiver at that. God, why was he enjoying being bossed around by this bastard so much? Something was definitely wrong with him. But then again, seeing Gintoki hover above him, looking down on him with this smug grin, his muscular body twitching with every movement, really turned him on.

God, he was so fucking gay.

Trying not to stare too much at what his hands did or how his muscles moved in the dimmed light, the policeman was looking into Gintoki’s eyes. He could feel his heart accelerating at the intense glare he bestowed on him. When his fingers grazed the inside of his thighs, a shiver made him wince. It made him nervous enough to blink and avert his eyes. His fingers were circling him now, drawing closer and closer to their destination. His deep voice sounded again.

“Toushirou.” He admonished him.

And the dark-haired man winced, his eyes promptly darting back to him. When they locked eyes again, Hijikata felt his throat cording up and his pulse quickening. His glare was intense, consuming, domineering. For a moment, he looked almost threatening. But then his features softened a bit and his arrogant smile returned.

And his first finger pushed inside of him.

It took him a lot of resistance but somehow, he managed to keep eye contact. His eyelids squeezed together a bit and he held his breath, immediately tensing up. It hurt. It hurt, dammit. How did this bastard manage the first time? Had he just been numbed to the pain? Or was it because he was so nervous right now? Drat, he couldn’t relax.

“I’m gonna move now. Tell me, when it’s feeling good.”

Gintoki’s voice was steady and reassuring and Hijikata tried listening to it. It felt so fucking weird having him inside of him, moving around to find the right spot. As much as he tried to relax, he had a hard time. He was worrying too much, he knew. He just couldn’t help it. Unsettled, he closed his eyes when Gintoki hit another sore spot.

“Hey, look at me.”

This time, his voice was definitely softer. Embarrassed, blue eyes were searching for crimson ones. He saw him smiling, staring into his eyes as if they were the most enticing thing he had ever seen. While he kept on moving, his head tilted a bit to the side and his eyes flickered.

“You remember our first time?”

 

Hijikata blinked. Why the hell was he talking about that now?

Gin didn’t seem to wait for an answer. Instead, he chuckled and flashed his teeth. “You were so fucking sexy. All prepared and dominant. …You are an awesome top, you know that? The way you pushed me down into the bed… and swallowed my dick whole. …I still get horny just thinking about that, ya know?”

His head turning red, he didn’t dare to look away this time. His pulse was so loud, it was drumming against his rips. He couldn’t reply, just didn’t know what to say.

“I remember you sucking my dick while putting your fingers into me.” An aroused laugh and he licked his lips, leaning forward just a bit. “It felt so fucking weird. It hurt until you found the right spot. We were both inexperienced, so it took a while.”

Just a bit more, he leaned forward, his eyes still locked on his boyfriend. He bit his lip now, pushing in even deeper. “But boy… when you finally found it…” Confident, he flashed his teeth and his voice went lower. The tip of his finger bent and stroked his prostate “…it felt so fucking good.”

Promptly, Hijikata winced and gasped for air. He could feel it tingle, radiating a warm feeling into the rest of his stomach. Holding his breath, he stared into his boyfriend’s eyes. And he just grinned mischievously.

“Didn’t it?”

 

Cheeks flaring red, he pressed his lips together. This bastard… how did he do that? He really wanted to hit him. But in the end, he couldn’t resist his charms.

As Gintoki’s finger moved along his prostate once more, his paramour flinched again. He shivered under the unknown feeling and the rising heat inside of him. There was so much at once, he couldn’t categorize the feelings. In the meantime, the silver head bit his lip and slowly, ever so slowly, rubbed the spot over and over again.

“Ever since then, I just love being fucked by you.” Gin leaned even closer, while his other hand grabbed Hijikata’s manhood now. “I never thought being a bottom could feel so good.”

It was about that time, a soft sound squeezed out of Hijikata’s throat. He gasped to keep it inside. A futile attempt. The more this guy touched him, the better it felt, the more it consumed him. In the end, he couldn’t suppress a moan, lowering his eyelids in the process.

This time, his boyfriend let him off the hook. With a blissful smile on his lips, he continued to move both hands, stroking Toushirou’s erection with just the right amount of pressure. The man below him shivered under that, getting goosebumps from Gintoki’s hot breath crushing against his chest.

It felt weird. In a good way.  He could relax more now, feeling the arousal taking over again. Gintoki was gentle, unhurried, not pressuring him at all. And still, he managed to get him hard. Damn this guy. He really was a natural top, wasn’t he? Being all dominant and demanding… Why was this so hot? Why was he enjoying this so much?

Hijikata bit his lip when Gintoki picked up the pace a bit. He forced himself to look at him again while the arousal was spiraling on and on inside of him, getting stronger with every stroke. When he gazed into crimson eyes once more, his boyfriend was grinning. It was this mixture of haughtiness and tenderness that made his heart go faster. Seeing him like this was making it easier to relax. He wanted more of that. More of this side of him.

Gintoki’s voice was but a whisper now, though still playful. “Feels good?”

It was definitely meant as a tease, but a very honest, affectionate one. Hijikata knew that. He knew, this bastard genuinely cared. And that’s why he smiled back, teeth flashing while his breath quivered. “…You tell me.”

A short, amused flicker in his crimson eyes before his smile widened even more. He tilted his head and didn’t lose eye contact while his finger pushed deeper inside, and his thumb rolled over the tip of his lover’s cock. “Judging from up here, ‘t looks like you’re having a good time.”

He just couldn’t help it. He flinched and pressed his eyes shut for a second, enjoying the sensation it caused. Moaning breathlessly, he opened his eyes just enough to look at him again. His body was getting hot. He chuckled softly. “Not bad, yeah.”

“ _Not bad?_ ” Gintoki laughed and it sounded like bells chiming. “Well, not what I was going for, but I’ll take it.”

Hijikata didn’t want to admit to him how much this turned him on. How his laugh made his chest fill up and his pulse go even faster. This guy was a real chatterbox in bed. He didn’t mind. He could listen to him talk forever. Damn it. He was so head over heels for this guy…

“Ready for the next level, then?” Gin proposed while leaning down and nibbling his lip.

That made him shiver. Both of his hands wandered upwards and were drawn to his body like magnets. He used the closeness to bury his left hand in his hair and put his other on his neck. In a deep kiss, he caressed his boyfriend’s tongue and messed up his hair. His body was writhing, silently encouraging him to go on.

 

Happily, Gintoki did. As he pushed in a second finger, Hijikata moaned. It still hurt, but for some reason or another, he didn’t mind anymore. He was instinctively lifting his legs and dragged the silver head into the kiss. Being this close to him made it even easier. His smell, his taste was filling his head, making him light-headed.

As the silver head softly started rubbing over the spot again, Hijikata moaned into the kiss. It was louder than before now, passionate almost. His nails dug into Gintoki’s chest and scalp, pushing him away and pulling him towards him at the same time. With every stroke, he felt the feeling getting stronger, more pleasant. This was so intense, unlike anything he had experienced before. A whole different level of pleasure. It felt good. Really good. The officer couldn’t help but letting his guard down.

And as soon as he let go, the feeling got even stronger. Suddenly, he started shivering, gasping every time Gintoki pushed inside. More often than not their kiss was interrupted by Hijikata throwing his head backward. He had his eyes closed now, concentrating on this new sensation that captured his body and swallowed it whole. His breath started tumbling and he instinctively moved to give his boyfriend more space. He didn’t care. He didn’t care if he saw him like this. He wasn’t ashamed. Not with him. He wanted more.

“More?” A snicker and Toushirou realized he had said these words out loud.

His blush was short-lived and not visible on his reddened face anyway. He licked his swollen lips and tried getting some oxygen into his lungs. He was puffing as one of his hands was trailing down to his waist to pull him closer.

He knew Gintoki liked that. He could basically feel the smug grin vibrating through the thin air. Obediently, the Yorozuya spread his fingers inside of him, stretching him out while his other hand worked on his erection. In response, the policeman shuddered and groaned loudly, digging his nails into flesh. His breathing was a mess now and his eyes didn’t open anymore. He was slipping. Falling. Letting go. Surrendering himself to the man above him.

His hands quivering softly, he reached out for him, his name slipping through his lips. Drawing him into another kiss, Hijikata felt at home. The home he never had, he never thought to find. He never felt so vulnerable, yet so secure. The pain slowly faded, and the pleasure took him and swallowed him whole. It felt good. More than good. But the thing that made his heart beat faster wasn’t the arousal. It was Gin’s undemanding kiss, his taste mixed with strawberry chocolate.

It was like bathing in a warm milk and honey.

 

 

Seeing the officer writhing and moaning under him was seriously giving him a kick. Although Gintoki wanted to take his time, the way he touched him and said his name was really pushing him to a limit. This exceeded all his imaginations. He knew his boyfriend would have a hard time letting go, but now he was already ushering for more. Gin had to suppress the urge to take him right here and now. To pin him down and fuck him senseless. No, not yet. This time needed to be tame. He needed to give him space to explore what he liked first. He would have enough chances to show him his rough side later. He knew that. It was just that seeing him enjoying it like this, really got him hard.

“Toushirou…” He whispered, aroused and breathless. Both of his hands stopped.

A hazy glare met him, barely able to keep his eyelids open. God, he had such beautiful blue eyes.

Managing a smile, Gintoki placed a short kiss on his lips, trying to hide how much his erection pained him. “…sit on me… will you?”

The answer was a passionate kiss, so hungry he thought Toushirou would swallow him whole. Then, he pushed him away and together they managed to switch positions without too much inconvenience. Gintoki opened the condom and rolled it over his cock, while Hijikata took the lube and spread it over him, gently massaging him through the latex. It elicited a breathless, aroused grin on the silver head’s face. He propped himself up on his forearms and Toushirou leaned down to kiss him once more.

Gintoki played with his tongue, letting him take over now. It was better this way. This way, the handsome cop could do it at his own speed. And Gin wouldn’t be tempted as much. Tenderly, the silver head was biting his lip and smiled. He was just about to make a dirty comment, as his boyfriend suddenly placed his hand on his chest and pushed him down on the sheets.  Gin didn’t even have time to comment on that. Hijikata was already sitting down, slowly taking in his full length.

To say this sudden initiative startled him, was a gross understatement. The grin on Gintoki’s face was overwhelming. He was trembling now, both from the sensation of their embrace and from the way this guy took what he wanted. That was how he liked him best.

His hand still pushed into Gintoki’s naked chest, Toushirou was groaning. His face contorted, and his nails dug into his flesh. For a moment, he didn’t move, shivering from head to toe. Gin felt him tensing up again. His voice became soft once more.

“…Does it hurt?”

Without opening his eyes, he breathed out. His words were just as low. “A bit.”

“Take your time.”

 

Now, Toushirou looked at him, searching for his eyes like a moth for the flame. He could see just a hint of nervousness in them. Gin couldn’t help it. He smirked cockily, teasing him.

“Want me to give you instructions?”

His boyfriend blushed, just a little bit and growled at him. “I know what to do.”

“’m just saying.” Tilting his head, he gazed at him with a crooked smile. “I know my cock can be intimidating.”

Hijikata’s just raised an eyebrow at that. “And how’s that?”

“Well…” His paramour laughed and raised his hands, trying to undermine his point. “Size-wise of course. Not to mention the power it has when I cum. That’s a lot of pressure. Quite literally.”

It turned into a full-grown frown. “You dead-set on ruining the mood?”

But he just grinned his adorably quirky grin. “…’m just warning you to hold on tight when I cum, ‘s all.”

In reply, his boyfriend just shook his head incredulously. “Is that supposed to make me laugh?”

Now, Gin couldn’t hold back anymore. His features got softer and his smile was as gentle as his fingertips tracing Toushirou’s tights up to his rips. “If you can’t laugh while having sex, you’re not doing it right.”

He saw him getting goosebumps under that, but this stubborn guy decided to show no reaction. “You must be the worst seducer ever.”

“That’s what you say, but then again…” He flashed his smuggest smile. “…I´m pretty sure that’s _my_ dick slammed up your ass.”

“If that’s supposed to be dirty talk, it’s not working. It’s rather a total turnoff…”

“So, you’re finally admitting you like my dirty talk?”

As his lover just sighed, Gin pushed himself up to sit. Wrapping his left arm around his waist, the silver head used the other hand to stroke away a strand of black hair. As he gazed into blue eyes, he felt his heart skip a beat. “Come on, honey… give me a smile.”

It was at that time, Toushirou finally relaxed. His lips contorted into a faint smile. “…You’re a real moron, you know that?”

“Well…” His fingers just couldn’t refrain from getting lost in dark hair. “…I’ve been told that’s one of my best qualities…”

“By whom?”

“People.”

The smile widening just a little bit, the officer shook his head. “Well, in any case, the mood is ruined now.”

“Oh, don’t say that.” Flashing his teeth and cocking his head, he looked arrogant again. His fingers wandered downwards and wrapped themselves around his cock. Slowly, he began moving them. His voice was a hushed whisper. “…This help?”

A shudder flashed through Toushirou’s body and he closed his eyes. “You know it does.”

“That’s true…” The next moment, their lips met again, and their tongues were hungrily entangling. It took them less than a minute to get back on track, their bodies getting slick and messy now. The heat between them was growing and their mindless kissing was turning them breathless.

When both of them felt how much Gintoki’s erection was pulsating inside of him, the Yorozuya leaned back just a little bit. He was looking at him, a genuine smile on his lips. “…You look so damn sexy right now, you know that?”

A blush, but underneath was a smitten smirk. “…You’re the one to talk.”

A short laugh as he watched how his hand stroked his lover’s manhood. “Go easy on me, will you? Or else I might not be able to last too long.”

Toushirou’s snicker was low and aroused. “Admitting defeat already?”

“Just saying.” Biting his lip, he closed his eyes and let go. His hand was slowly getting more assertive now, squeezing sensitive skin between his fingers. He was focusing on the man above him, trying to make him feel good. This was his only objective now. He didn’t really care about himself. He only wanted to make Toushirou enjoy this as much as possible. It helped him, too. Because this way, he could easily ignore his own throbbing heart and the heat making his head spin.

He heard his breath rattling and could feel his body twitching under his fingers. When he eventually started moving, both men couldn’t suppress a long moan. It was still slow and cautious, but with every time it got easier, faster. Gin could feel nails burying themselves in his six-pack as his boyfriend found his own pace. It was getting hotter, sweat beading on their skins. His heartbeat was going out of control, worsened only by the deep, sensitive moans that dripped out of the officer’s mouth.

Gin made sure not to lose his pace, to keep working on his erection and ignore how much this turned him on. It was hard. Hard not to lose himself in this feeling. More often than not, he was slipping. But in the end, his attention always shifted back to Toushirou. And when he really focused on him, his unsteady breath, the soft shaking of his hands, it was easy to forget everything else.

It sounded nice. The way his voice got when he was really letting go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope, you enjoyed this as much as I did <3
> 
> Annotations:   
> *Onee-chan means older sister but it can also be used for young women, especially when men talk about beautiful girls.   
> *Ryokan are old Japanese guesthouses. You can still find them all over Japan and the atmosphere is very special and indescribable.


	19. Alcohol and idiots mix quite well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You think you know real fluff? Think again. I’m gonna give you the ultimate fluff. 
> 
> The songs for this chapter are:  
> Mai Yamane - Tasogare (thanks to georg-prime for suggesting it) and Tatsuro Yamashita – Sparkle. Play them when they’re coming up.

“…And then he actually got up and put it on. He looked like a mixture between Vegeta and a mermaid. Hair, muscles, tail and all.”

In a sudden burst of laughter, the silver head threw his head back and held his side, almost rolling off the sofa. “I bet that’s when you all finally got rid of the whipped cream, huh?”

“You bet.” He couldn’t refrain a smile as well and took a sip of his beer. “We all started cramming it up Yamazaki’s shoes instead.”

“So, when did he finally realize he’s about to be paired up with his lover from hell?”

“Not until Sougo came in… dressed as Bulma including mini skirt and wig.”

He gurgled, and his body shook from laughter. “That must’ve been awesome to see.”

The dark-haired man closed his eyes and emptied the beer can, putting in back on the table. They were both a bit tipsy, but not much. Hijikata leaned back again and glanced over to him, placing his head in his hand and propping his arm on the back of the sofa. A smile was on his lips. “Well, not if you’re the one having to eat nattō pizza*.”

“You’d eat it, though, would you?” Gintoki grinned and wrapped one arm over his head, eyeballing him from his lying position. “With enough mayonnaise?”

“Everything tastes better with mayonnaise. But yeah… this would even be my limit.” And he _liked_ nattō with enough soy sauce and mayo.

The Yorozuya shivered and shook his head unbelievingly. “You’re crazy if you’d eat that. I’m almost throwing up just by the thought of it…”

“That’s exactly what Sasaki did after he snorted the shaving cream.”

Both men were laughing before their eyes met once more in a warm, comfortable glance. They had been curled up on the Yorozuya’s sofas for a while now, enjoying some beer and snacks. It was this kind of lazy Saturday evening that came only once every blue moon. They had the apartment for themselves and nobody bothered them. Together they had made dinner, okonomiyaki with shrimp, washed the dishes and watched some drama series. It was a nice change. Almost peaceful.

The silver head was wearing a white kimono with blue checkers on the fringes and had thrown a reddishly orange haori over it. It was October now and the depressing heat had finally made way to a constant, chilling breeze. His fingernails were painted red because Kagura had put some crimson nail polish on him earlier that day to practice her skills. Hijikata, in turn, was wearing a dark pale blue yukata and anthracite haori that suited him perfectly. Both of them had had one or two beers too many and started getting audacious. Neither of them minded.

 

“Would have loved to be there.” Gintoki hummed, looking at his boyfriend with a smitten look on his face.

“Well, maybe next time, you’ll get an invitation from Sougo.” Hijikata replied grinning, teasing him.

“Why? Is my boyfriend not gonna invite me? How hurtful!”

“If you’d give me something in return, I might.”

“Like what? Am I not already the perfect boyfriend? Showering you with love and constant support?”

“ _Constant support_?” He never sounded more affronted.

“Name one time I didn’t do that!”

“I can name fifty! Starting with you insulting me for eating mayonnaise.”

“But that’s just because I care about you. And because it’s fucking disgusting. You should really stop doing that. And stop smoking while you’re at it. Or else you’ll turn impotent.”

“Tsk, only if you stop eating so many sweets. You’re begging for diabetes.”

“You saying you’re sweet enough for me?”

“I’m not but go on.”

“Well if I shouldn’t eat sweets, then what am I supposed to eat? Everything else tastes like shit.”

“Checkmate.”

“Oi, don’t act all high and mighty.” Gin smirked and lay on his side again to watch him over the coffee table. “Smart-ass.”

Grinning cockily as well, Hijikata munched a senbei cracker. “Don’t be such a sore loser. If you can’t make a good wager, then I’m sorry but you’re not invited.”

“How about we have a little contest then?” Competitively, Gin sat up and reached for the bowl of nuts on the table. “If I manage to throw this peanut into your mouth, we’re going to the next Shinsengumi party together.”

“That’s stupid. I don’t want to invite you, so I’m gonna make sure you won’t hit my mouth.” The policeman replied, intrigued.

“Fair enough. Then you throw it and if I can catch it with my mouth, you have to invite me.”

“Sure. I love to see you lose.”

Gin flashed a dirty, yet amused grin. “Wo-ho. Big words, Vice Chief. Let’s set up some basic rules then.”

“Like what?”

“First: You have to at least try to aim for my mouth. It has to be possible for me to catch.”

“Fine. Second: If you don’t catch it, you’re gonna accept your loss.”

“Since I’m not gonna lose, I can vouch for that.”

“Great then.” Obviously challenged, Hijikata took a peanut and grinned. “Let’s see if you can catch it then. If you can’t, you will not be invited to the next party and won’t come either.”

Smugly, he waved his hand, challenging him to a duel. “Less talking, more throwing.”

 

Spurred by the competition, the officer prepared himself, rolling his right arm as if he wanted to throw a home run. His stupid boyfriend just grinned at that, preparing himself as well. And sure enough, when Hijikata threw the peanut, he actually caught it, even though it took him a lot of moving to correct the trajectory.

When the nut landed on his tongue, Gin jumped up and threw his fists in the air, growling in excitement. “YEEEEEESSSS!”

“Hmph. That was just luck.” He grimaced.

“Sure, just _luck_.” The Yorozuya’s grin was haughty. “And yet, you have to invite me next time. I want a formal invitation by the way. Like these Western wedding invitations with calligraphy and shit.”

“Urgh…” Realizing what he had done, the cop held his head. “Fine. But you’re not allowed to tease me!”

“Oh, come on! We all know by now that you love it when I tease you!”

“Not if you pair up with the king of sadists!”

“Well, I won’t… if you make me miss the next peanut.”

Blue eyes flashed, challenged. “Great! But if you can’t catch it, you will not only _not_ team up with Sougo, but also tease _him_ instead!”

“Oho-hoo! Sounds like a wager! Just throw it then!”

“ _Oh, I’m gonna throw it_!” Hijikata snarled and readied his throwing arm again.

Before the silver head could even spur him on even more, the peanut was already in the air. This time, not as nicely. It was an almost straight trajectory, just like a baseball throw. For some reason or another, it landed directly in his mouth though. His reflexes really were something.

This time, Gintoki just grinned smugly and cackled maliciously. “Well, _honey_. I hope, you’re looking forward to the next Shinsengumi get-together~.”

Now, the Vice Chief was really mad. He growled and didn’t understand what was happening. “Grrr, okay! But if you miss the next one, you’re not gonna talk about our sex life!”

“Bring it on, handsome.”

 

This time, Hijikata really made sure he wouldn’t get it. He threw the peanut with such an amount of force, it would probably drill a hole through the wall. His aim was a bit messy because of all the alcohol and anger bubbling up inside of him, so the nut ended up flying way higher than he expected.

Still, the Yorozuya jumped into the air, made a flip, caught the peanut and gracefully landed on the sofa. Flipping his curls away in an overdramatic fashion, he started to grin and munch.

“Don’t worry, babe. I’ll try not to reveal too much.”

His jaw dropped, Hijikata shook his head in utter disbelieve. “How the f*ck do you do that?”

“Well, I’m a Yorozuya after all. I can do anything.” Pleased, Gintoki slumped down on the couch again and gave him his smuggest smile. “Don’t underestimate the resilience of the poor.”

“Somehow I feel that’s nothing you should be proud of…”

“Time to switch.” Confidently, Gin took another peanut and rolled it between his thumbs. “If you dare to challenge me, cherry boy*.”

A tense smile appeared on his lips, but his eyes were twitching, and a throbbing vein spurted off his temple. “Sure, bring it on.”

A dirty grin conquered most of his face. “If you catch the nut, you’re going to stop smoking for a week.”

“Nothing easier than that.”

“And if you miss, you’ll stop smoking for a month.”

“ _A month?!_ ”

Gin chuckled. “You scared? Wanna forfeit?”

“Grrr… never! Throw the damn thing already!”

He just loved to drive the handsome cop to this point. He would give him a fair chance, however. With playful elegance, he flipped the nut in his direction. Dead-set on winning, Hijikata lashed out towards it, but it was bouncing off his chin instead. Upon realizing what this meant, his face became ghostly pale.

“…That’s… that’s cheating! We have to do it again! I’m calling for a rematch!”

“No, it’s not.” Gin chuckled, pleased with the result. “I was even throwing it normally. Accept your fate, sweetheart.”

“Never!” Just getting started, Hijikata growled and his face looked unhealthy. “Do it again! This time, if I catch it, you’ll have to stop eating sweets for one month, too!”

“Nah, I’m good. Thanks.” Waving, he leaned back and closed his eyes. “I love sweets just too much.”

“Grr, you bastard!”

“How about this?” He flashed his most charming smile. “We’ll just practice normally and when you’re at my level, we’ll start with the betting again.”

The officer’s eye twitched and there was his unnerved smile again. “…your level?”

“Come on. I’m offering you a fair chance! You know you have to take it!”

“Grrr…”

“Ok, last one then.” Gin leaned forward and took another peanut, holding it up demonstratively. “If you can catch it, I’m gonna give you a kiss.”

Hijikata blushed. Just a little bit. “…And if not?”

“Then you’re gonna give me a kiss. Whereeeeever I want.”

He pursed his lips, visibly intrigued. “…What kind of wager is that?”

“A good one, I’d say.” Kicking back his head a bit, showing his teeth, Gintoki bit his lower lip. “Open your mouth, sweetheart.”

Darn it. Why couldn’t he resist him when he was like that? The policeman lowered his eyelids and reluctantly opened his mouth. This time, Gin really tried to aim, and he was good, too. A second later, the nut landed in his boyfriend’s mouth. With a red shimmer on his cheeks, Hijikata glared at him and pursed his lips.

Gintoki couldn’t refrain from laughing at that. He stood up and walked to the other couch in a relaxed swagger. Pushing just his right knee into the cushion, he leaned down until his curls were tickling his boyfriend’s nose. The sudden closeness took a toll on the policeman and he could feel his barriers crumbling, his anger evaporating. Looking up into those crimson eyes, he tried not to show who easily he had been swayed. But when the silver head put his hand on his cheek and ran his fingers over his neck, he felt his heart sinking in his boots.

When his lips came even closer and he could almost taste his breath, Hijikata shivered. Gin’s voice was infatuating. “…Mind if I kiss you now, Vice Chief?”

 

Just a low grumble and he pulled him closer, forcing their lips to meet. Gin had to chortle at that, even under the kiss. Letting out an approving hum, he sat down on his boyfriend’s thigh and cupped his other cheek as well. Their tongues met in a long, sweet moment. Hijikata’s kissing was wilder, letting out the frustration about losing, but his lover was able to tame him with just a few soft kisses. With no ill intentions, Gin’s fingers were grazing his skin, his thumb rolling over his neck and jaw. He enjoyed this closeness, the way his paramour clearly loved it but was too stubborn to admit.

Placing a last, soft kiss on his lips, the Yorozuya leaned back again and looked down into his steel blue eyes with a smitten smile. “…‘we good?”

His eyes closed, and he breathed out, visibly shaken. “Yeah…”

With strong hands, Gintoki pushed his head back just enough to kiss him again. Then, he slumped down at his side of the couch and cuddled up next to him. Kissing his neck, he was reaching for his hand to intertwine their fingers. Content, he placed his head on Hijikata’s shoulder and started playing with his fingers.

“By the way, how did you like the live movie adaption?”

The police officer needed a moment to calm down, to get used to the feeling of holding hands. It was nice. Really nice. Both of them weren’t the types for public displays of affection. At least not a genuine one. But here, where nobody was watching, it was easier. Being alone with him made so many things easier…

“…The Benizakura one? …Dunno really… How did you like it?” He finally managed.

“I liked it.” Gin closed his eyes and was rubbing his thumb over the back of Hijikata’s hand. “I like Oguri Shun as my actor. He makes me look so manly. Also, I like how they expanded the story. Hashimoto Kanna was really cute as Kagura as well. I mean, they did a good job meeting the expectations of a live action for an anime. They knew everyone was going to be skeptical at first. I loved the way they dragged Elizabeth.”

“Yeah, maybe.” The officer squeezed his hand and felt his heartbeat going faster. “I guess the cast for Shinpachi and Sougo were pretty spot on. They really looked like real-life versions of them.”

“Oi, don’t talk so lowly of Yagira Yuuya. He looked awesome as you. And the fighting scene with you and Nizou was so hot. If I had ovaries, they would have exploded at that.”

He blushed. What the fuck was he rambling on about? “Yeah, yeah. He’s hot. I get it.”

“No, he’s hot alright!” A grin and Gin nuzzled his perm against his boyfriend’s neck. It tickled. “I would totally have a threesome with both of you. Sometimes I dream about that at night.”

Head as red as a tomato now, Hijikata closed his eyes, pressed his lips shut and leaned his temple against silver locks. “I… I see… Well, I wonder how the new one will be like.”

“Ah yeah, once the readers read this chapter, it’ll be out already, won’t it?” Gintoki cuddled even more against him and found inexplicable joy in holding hands with him. “It’s going to be the Shinsengumi crisis arc, right? I’m looking forward to seeing your pathetic otaku self again, hehehe. And boy, our scene in the police car. I love that one. I really hope they’ll cover it. Maybe, they even include more cool fighting scenes. Maybe even you and I together? That would be awesome.”

Trying not to be swayed by that, Hijikata focused on the conversation at hand. “Well, with the manga proceeding in a different direction, we’re way off canon now anyway. Might as well enjoy it.”

“Heh, that’s true. You think _Eniell_ knows?”

“Probably.”

“Yeah.” Gintoki was chuckling at that. “We’ll forever be stuck in this in-between time continuum where the end wasn’t yet decided, and she thought everything will just stay the same after we defeat Utsuro.”

“Well, to be fair, no one expected Sorachi to pull such an ‘ending’.”

“They should have, though. I mean, he has always been a huge troll.” The Yorozuya closed his eyes now, enjoying the sensation of their skins rubbing together. “But it’s nice either way, isn’t it? This kind of ending right here.”

“…Yeah…” Holding his breath and allowing a soft smile to adorn his lips, Hijikata leaned in closer and placed a kiss on silver locks. “…it is.”

 

~ ~  ~

 

Two beers and a package of cheese _Jagariko_ * later, Hijikata had found his way into Gintoki’s arms.

For reasons he couldn’t remember, he had sat down on his lap, one arm around his neck and legs dangling down to one side. In turn, Gintoki had wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s hips and held him tight while leaning back on the backrest of the sofa. Maybe they were a bit tipsy. But at this moment, they couldn’t care less. They were both chuckling, enjoying the unusual closeness.

“You’re surprisingly heavy, babe. Stop eating mayonnaise already. You’ll get fat.”

Hijikata was smiling like the love-struck idiot he was. “Shut up. Even while being fat, I’d be kicking your ass.”

“Would you now?” Gin’s hug was tight, his hand locked around his other ankle. “Well, I have to admit… you were kinda cute as Tenko.”

“You don’t say.” The policeman’s lips pursed in amusement. He was leaning onto him, his head partly on Gintoki’s shoulder, partly on the backrest.

“I’d probably even shag with you in your Tenko form. Just to see you squeal under me.”

“Is sex all you ever think about? Keep it in your pants, man.”

The silver head smirked and gazed into blue eyes, getting irretrievably lost in them. “What? Wouldn’t you bone Ginko?”

“Probably not.”

“That’s so cruel! Why not? Is it because you’re so very, very gay? Because you wouldn’t know how to pleasure a woman?”

Hijikata closed his eyes and laughed at that, pinching his cheek. “Come on, that would just be weird. I don’t wanna have sex with another version of you.”

“So, you just wanna have sex with me and me only?” Gin gurgled and leaned in closer until the tips of their noses touched.

“Maybe.” The cop replied grinning, returning the gaze. It wasn’t like him. It wasn’t like him at all. But he couldn’t help it. It was so easy to let his guard down around him.

“Ohh…” Snickering, his eyelids lowered, and he bit his nose. “You’re so fucking gay, buddy.”

“If I’m gay, what are you then?” Enjoying this, Hijikata returned the bite.

“I’m a proud bisexual. With a slight preference for handsome Vice Chiefs.” For a moment, he tightened the hug and pulled him closer.

“I see…” Almost choking on the broad smile adorning his face, the man with the olive-brown hair decided to kiss him. Their lips joining together felt like the most natural thing in the world. Behind closed doors, it became easier to show genuine affection. When they were alone, it was easy to open up. At this very moment, he was bursting over with happiness.

Savoring the taste of his tongue, the policeman placed a last kiss on soft lips before leaning back again. His eyes were flickering, glowing.

“Should really see yourself.” Gin chuckled. “You look like a high school girl thinking about her crush.”

“’That a bad thing?”

“No.” To be honest, Gintoki didn’t look much different. “…’s just that you’re the demonic Vice Chief… a thorny… a dirty cop. …This soft expression doesn’t suit you.”

“Well, you better get used to it then.” Teasingly, Hijikata grabbed his chin and pushed it upwards, so Gintoki had to bend his head. “Besides, everybody loves a cool, tough-looking character with a soft side.”

A laugh. “Sorry, honey. But you lost your label as a cool character looong ago.”

“Look who’s talking. You look like you’re head over heels for me.”

“Well, but my soft, romantic side was introduced right from the beginning. So that’s no surprise.” Gin tilted his head to escape his boyfriends grasp and kissed his fingers instead. “I don’t have a reputation to lose.”

“I never asked for a reputation as a demon. And if it could be ruined by something like this, then I don’t need such a lousy reputation either.” Hijikata let him kiss his hand and brushed his fingertips against his lips and chin.

“Big words.” Gintoki smiled and gazed at him like there was nothing else in the room. “What would Okita-kun say?”

“Does that matter? He tortures me no matter what I do. You could really stand up for me more instead of piling up on his bullshit every time.”

A mischievous chuckle. “Ah, you’re probably right. But you’re just so cute when we tease you. I can’t resist.”

“I bet you couldn’t even prank Sougo if you tried.” A rebellious grin appeared on his face.

“Oh? Is that a challenge?”

“It definitely is. But I don’t think you could pull it off.”

“Ohhhh….” The silver-head’s grin almost blew up his face. “…You’re a sly one… Don't think this works on me, though.”

“’You telling me it doesn’t?” And he returned it in equal parts.

Sniggering, Gin snapped at him now, suddenly drawing him closer and wildly kissing his collarbone. Hijikata immediately cringed and began squirming, laughing out loud.

“Ah- stop!”

 

“You ticklish?” Gin chortled.

Trying to break free, Hijikata hit his head, still snickering. “-m not! That’s unfair! Let me go!”

Of course, he didn’t. Instead, he just rubbed his nose against the nape of his neck, making him squirm in laughter. “As if!”

Laughing, yet lovingly, the policeman wrapped both arms around his neck and pressed him into his chest, restricting his movements in doing so.  “Come on, Gintoki. Stop it already.”

Smiling like a lovelorn fool, the Yorozuya decided to cut him some slack. He didn’t want to upset him today. He would have plenty of times to use his new secret weapon, after all. So, the silver head chuckled and kissed his neck, deepening the hug. His boyfriend smelled so good. He couldn’t get enough of that.

“Fine then. I’ll let you off the hook this time. But you owe me one.”

“For what?” Hijikata was still a bit breathless from laughing. His fingers were getting lost in soft curls. He could do this forever.

“For not abusing my newly found superpower.” A soft kiss on his collarbone.

“The only superpower you have is to not die because of diabetes.”

“You know how many people would kill for that? That’s a super cool superpower. What’s yours? Not having constant diarrhea from eating mayonnaise 24/7?”

Amused, he pulled his hair back so that he had to look up into his eyes. He tried a mocking smile, but ultimately Hijikata’s features were as soft as the first snow in winter. “How about: Putting up with you and not dumping your sorry ass?”

A throaty chuckle vibrated inside of the silver head’s throat, making it sound like a purr. “Okay, that’s a good superpower, I give you that.”

A smug grin on his lips, he leaned down, enjoying the upper hand for once. He really wanted to kiss him but held back. “I know. So, you better stay on my good side, _curly head_.”

With a lovely smile, Gin gazes into his eyes. It was so easy to get lost in them. To drown in this deep blue. His lungs were filling up with suffocating love, forcing him to hold his breath. It was alright. He didn’t want to be saved. He was hopeless now, anyway.

Instinctively, he raised his hand and let his fingers brush away a strand of black hair. Grazing his cheek, his fingertips started tingling. He felt his heart starting to race. “Toushirou… Dance with me.”

“Dance?” Hijikata raised a brow but his lips were still curved into a smile.

“Yeah. You still owe me one. A real one.”

“What’s that even supposed to mean?”

His fingers traced his temples, his jaw and back again. “I wanna dance with you, right here. Right now. For real this time. …Katsura’s jukebox has some nice songs.”

The black-haired man was still holding his head, rubbing his thumb over his neck. “…I’m sorry. I can’t dance.”

“I’ll teach you.”

Their eyes were locked in an intimate moment. While Hijikata was scrutinizing his boyfriend, Gintoki was leaning back, hiding nothing.

Finally, the smile of the man with the olive-brown hair widened and his eyes gleamed.

“…Sure. Let’s try.”

 

Not being able to hide his massive grin, Gin finally disentangled them and walked to the giant jukebox. It was an old one, from the 80ties and it was filled with a broad variety of songs from that time period. The Yorozuya loved old things, especially when they were Japanese. So, in a way, this had been the perfect gift. He had to thank Katsura again, he guessed. But right now, he just pressed one of the buttons and turned around, slowly walking back while the machine started working.

The policeman was already waiting for him, standing in the open space next to the couch, a soft expression on his lips. Gintoki had to smile at that, stepped closer and grabbed his hands. He took the lead, placing Hijikata’s left hand on his shoulder and his own on his hip. The jukebox was slow but eventually started playing the song. As the music of _Tasogare_ began playing, Gintoki’s heart was beating faster already.

“Let’s begin simple. ‘You know how to waltz?”

“Seen it a couple of times, but never tried it before.”

“It’s easy, just follow me.”

Following the slow, steady rhythm of the drums, Gintoki began moving. One step to the side, one step forward and back to the side. In the andante rhythm of the song, it was easy to follow up, even though the dance didn’t quite match the song. The man in the dark kimono was actually not bad at this. He got the hang of it in a matter of moments and when the silver head voiced a throaty chuckle, he looked up and smiled at him.

Returning the smile, they started moving in synch, slowly, ever so slowly dancing to the song. It was a weird feeling. Their rough hands touching, fingers intertwined, gazes tightly locked. It was easy losing themselves in the moment, the smooth melody of the song. Her voice was low and raspy, singing of yearning and heartbreak. They were so close now, tasting each other’s breaths on their lips.

It made Gintoki’s heart skip a beat. Truth be told, he had listened to this song a lot, thinking of his paramour. He was a romantic, even though it was hard to show or convey these feelings for him. He found it easier just messing around, overplaying this side of him with sadism and bluntness. But, if he was completely honest, he had wanted to dance with someone for a long time. He had wanted to fall in love for such a long time. To feel what it was like to really love someone, body and soul. Somewhere along the line, he had given up on that, thinking it would never happen.

And yet, here he was. Holding the man he loved in his arms, gently swaying to the melancholic sound of the guitar.

His heart ached from all the love that was filling his very soul.

 

“How come you can do this?” The officer’s voice was low, a smiling whisper.

“Well…” Pulling him closer into a tight hug, his eyelids lowered on their own. Their noses almost touched. “I’m a Yorozuya. …I can do anything.”

Pleased, Hijikata’s eyes closed and he let him take the lead completely. Their bodies were so close now, it was hard to continue dancing. So, they proceeded to softly rock their bodies around, dancing through the room one step at a time, hands still intertwined. Both of their hearts were racing, throbbing against their rips in this unusual closeness.

Slowly, black hair was tickling his neck, as Toushirou placed his head on his shoulder. His nose was softly snuggling up to Gintoki’s neck and his breath was a warm wave crushing against his skin. It gave him goosebumps. And at the same time, he couldn’t refrain a smile. The demonic Vice Commander of the Shinsengumi lying in his arms, resting his tired head on his shoulder… who would have guessed?

Gintoki closed his eyes as well, losing himself in the moment. He felt his heartbeat on his tongue in harmony with the slow beat of the drums. His heart was so full. Filled with his boyfriend’s smell, the warmth of his body snuggling up to him and the interlude of the electric guitar. It hurt. His heart hurt because he couldn’t believe he had found this happiness. It couldn’t take the love consuming his whole soul. It couldn’t bear the weight of the endless bliss that filled him from head to toe.

The silver head just smiled.

He was at home.

 

 

When the song slowly began to fade, their dancing slowed down. As the music died, they stood in the middle of the room, tangled in a tight embrace, not wanting to let go. Warily, the Yorozuya’s nose grazed his and their eyes met again. Both their gazes were clouded, yet they couldn’t suppress a smile. The air between them grew thicker. Their lips were so close. They could almost taste the other through the short distance.

Leaning in to kiss the other was a natural reflex.

However, before their lips could meet in a liberating touch, the jukebox cracked, and the next song started to play. The cheerful tune made them stop in their tracks. It was Tatsuro Yamashita’s “Sparkle”.  

After a long, silent moment, both men had to chuckle. The song was so light-hearted and jubilant, they couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear.

“So, how’re you gonna dance to this then?” Hijikata wanted to know, taking a step back.

“Oh well…” Gin smirked and stepped back as well. In a flash, he raised his arm, forcing the cop to twist and fall backwards into his arms. “Like this?”

A light, blissful laughter shook Toushirou and he squeezed Gintoki’s hand, trying not to topple over backwards. “I can’t dance like this!”

Twisting and turning him back, Gin continued to hold his hand. His grin was crazy now, as he was shaking his body in a weird way. It reminded the officer a lot of the disco style in the 70ties. “Don’t think too much, honey! Just feel the music and have fun!”

Seeing his funny, funky dancing, Hijikata couldn’t help but smile. He was such a goofball. Still, he was hesitant to move, playing hard to get. “You look ridiculous.”

“Well, that was what I was going for!” With his irresistible charm, he wheeled himself into his boyfriend’s arms and back.

Chuckling, Hijikata just watched him but didn’t let go of his hand. “Congratulations then.”

“Come on, sweetheart…” Gin curled his finger, inviting him to join. “Dance with me.”

Shaking his head, a giant smile adorning his features, the cop finally gave in, starting to slowly move to the music. “You’re a moron… _honey_.”

As Gintoki spun him around, Hijikata almost tripped and fell right into his arms again. Getting him on his feet again in a matter of seconds, the silver head initiated a very weird version of the cha cha cha. His boyfriend didn’t even care anymore. He was following his lead, letting loose for once in a while.

And so they danced around the apartment, laughing from the bottom of their hearts.

  

~ ~  ~

 

Bonus:

The awesome [ryuichirou](http://ryuichirou.tumblr.com/post/177976517817/ginhiji-for-eniell-thank-you-very-much-for) drew the chapter for me! Please also check them out on [deviantArt](https://www.deviantart.com/ryuichirouaoino)!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annotations:  
> *Nattō is a Japanese specialty, which is fermented beans (often used for tourists to test their courage). It’s slimy and looks and feels like runny snot. Now imagine it on a pizza…  
> *Cherry boy is an inside joke from the Thorny arc (manga 365-370, anime 244-247).  
> *Jagariko is my absolute favorite brand of Japanese snacks (next to onigiri/nori senbei). Try one if you ever have the chance
> 
> For more fluff, check out hayashii’s “In ways we are similar” on ao3! Their drabbles are so cute!
> 
> PS: Check out chapter 9: Ghosts again. There's a little suprise at the end of the chapter :)


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